Discussion » I've Shaved My Muff....

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Posted by Rosie, 16:49, 7th October 2002:
 
In order to rekindle any kind of sex life my fiancee and I used to have, I've shaved off my pubic hair.

Its very itchy and sore. I rubbed moisturiser over the area and its now gone all zitty.

Instead of looking like a hot porn star, I look like a freak.

Any ideas on how to still have sex without irritating the stubbly patch that is now my crotch?

Has anyone else ever done this and if so, how long does it take to grow back?

PLEASE HELP.
Posted by jlittle, 17:02, 7th October 2002:
 
Next time, Wax.
Posted by chandler, 17:05, 7th October 2002:
 
next time, just dont give us more information than we wanted to know!
Posted by Victor Menendez, 17:10, 7th October 2002:
 
Yeah, what the fuck is that all about, i dont want to know about that.
Posted by cal, 17:33, 7th October 2002:
 
it's just like shaving your legs/face - moistureise beforehand with a decent shaving gel or oil, don't shave for 30 minutes after you wake up, short strokes to avoid razor burn (which it sounds like you have) and never go against the grain.

of course, you're on the Internet, so anything genitals realted can be found pretty swiftly using google
Posted by Grim..., 17:35, 7th October 2002:
 
Or get you in trouble when the porn filter at work rips that post to sheads and sets the metaphorical porn siren off with YOUR NAME ON DAMNIT!
Posted by cal, 17:46, 7th October 2002:
 
i think you could tell from the thread title what it was going to be about. your internet access at work is filtered?
Posted by chandler, 19:06, 7th October 2002:
 
I thought that the actual topic title was "I've Shaved My Muffin" refering to the removal of hair from either some sort of mule, or maybe even a particularly hairy cakey treat.

Imagine my surprise.

Go on, imagine it.
Posted by cal, 21:05, 7th October 2002:
 
hahahaha

i'm actually laughing out loud
Posted by ell, 01:14, 8th October 2002:
 
Rosie, ask yourself if you really want to take shaving advice from this man.

Everything2 has all the info you need on literally everything.

Cal: interesting... the world seems to be split into the AGAINST-the-grain fanatics, and the WITH-the-grain fanatics... either way, everyone's really adamant you shouldn't do it the other way. :-\ What's everyone elses' reccomendations? On the rare occasions I can be arsed to shave (slob student ahoy!) I use an electric razor (2, actually) on an overly long beard instead of stubble, and run around with razor burn and a severly sore face for a day. :'(
Posted by cal, 08:12, 8th October 2002:
 
very funny elliot

From this page:

When shaving, stroke an area no more than twice to reduce skin irritation. On the first stroke, go "with the grain" to remove most of the hair, then go "against the grain" for a smooth, close shave.

This is the general consensus. Your hair needs to be dead short before going against the grain, otherwise the hairs get pulled rather than cut, which causes razor burn. This translates to:
a) cutting long hair (> 1/4 inch) which curved nose scissors
b) shaving with the grain first

The reason for then going against the grain is the get a closer shave. These principals seem to apply to shaving any region. Anyone with a hairy back we can experiment on?
Posted by Rosie, 09:07, 8th October 2002:
 
Thanks everyone. I should have really waxed but it was a spare of the moment thing. The hair is growing back quite quick and its not as itchy as it was when i first done it.

I have taken to wearing large soft period pants, which is helping.

:-)
Posted by chandler, 09:24, 8th October 2002:
 
And I say it again:

"next time, just dont give us more information than we wanted to know!"
Posted by Rosie, 09:33, 8th October 2002:
 
:-(

You lot are the only people I've told about this.
I've not even told my best friend who I've known for 18 years coz i'm so embarressed.
I just wanted a bit of advice....

:*-(
Posted by chandler, 09:34, 8th October 2002:
 
fair enough :) Hope you are back to normal soon!
Posted by Rosie, 09:43, 8th October 2002:
 
Thank you :-)

I will let you know when the bush is back.

:-)
Posted by cal, 10:44, 8th October 2002:
 
cool/wierd that you feel you can post that here. but you can, of course
Posted by chandler, 10:46, 8th October 2002:
 
Oh well if there was a christmas party, this sort of stuff would make it REALLY interesting
Posted by jlittle, 11:21, 8th October 2002:
 
can i post about my problems in the down bellow department aswell ? :)
Posted by cal, 11:21, 8th October 2002:
 
as long as it's in an appropriately named thread that we can avoid ;)
Posted by Victor Menendez, 11:46, 8th October 2002:
 
Hmm, dont tell best friend through embarrassment: Post on international internet site?
Posted by cal, 11:51, 8th October 2002:
 
add to that: luckily not many people read internet site*

* this might be a complete lie
Posted by plindoe, 12:01, 8th October 2002:
 
on the subject of you still having a sex life, there is another hole not far from the itching one you know, its only a suggestion so dont shoot me, ok! :)
Posted by Victor Menendez, 12:26, 8th October 2002:
 
I dont understand, are you advocating belly button sex? explain further
Posted by cal, 12:30, 8th October 2002:
 
belly button sex sounds cool
Posted by Rosie, 12:33, 8th October 2002:
 
The way I see it is that you lot are never gonna meet me, so it doesnt matter I've told you, does it?

I think I will keep any future problems to myself as I'm afraid I may have pissed off some people.

Lets talk about some thing different.

Did anyone see that film about giant bugs last nght?
Posted by chandler, 12:59, 8th October 2002:
 
You havent pissed us off! We found it funny (not your discomfort, just the fact you are so open about it!)

No I missed Starship Troopers cos I was watching the Office and Coupling. but I recorded it.

Was it any good?
Posted by ilovebeerme, 13:24, 8th October 2002:
 
Why bother with Starship Troopers?

Just watch Bush's latest speech.

Would you like to know more?
Posted by Rosie, 14:08, 8th October 2002:
 
That film was pants!

It made me laugh alot.

Especially the bit where the mans brians got sucked out.

I watched the office last night and it was very good.

Ricky Gervias is quite like my boss - unfortunately!
:-)
Posted by chandler, 14:36, 8th October 2002:
 
I think the film was supposed to be "satirical" ie, it was bad.

The office is fantastic. So is Coupling, on before it. I was actually laughing out loud at Coupling, The Office makes me cringe! but in a good way!
Posted by Rosie, 14:45, 8th October 2002:
 
Did you watch that peter kay thing last night about the bloke who sells porn out of his ice cream van? It was really funny!!! My fiancee didn't think it was, but i was crying my eyes out!
Posted by cal, 14:48, 8th October 2002:
 
i watched some of the office and peter kay. both quite good. seen starship troopers a gazillion times - v. good
Posted by Rosie, 14:53, 8th October 2002:
 
I am having such a bollocky day.
How is everyone elses day going?
Posted by cal, 14:57, 8th October 2002:
 
my day is going quite well. might go to the cinema tonight - chris?
Posted by ilovebeerme, 14:59, 8th October 2002:
 
Oh and rosie my girlfriend says:

Trim with scissors, bathe in warm water, shave with light small strokes, bathe and repeat. Moisturise.
Posted by chandler, 15:03, 8th October 2002:
 
Rosie: Yes! that Peter Kaye Thing was great. someone had told me about that ages ago, but I only saw it last night! Mr Softee Top! and the evil SEÑOR WHIPPY! absolute genius
Posted by Rosie, 15:05, 8th October 2002:
 
ilovebeerme: Cheers for the tip! :-)

Cal - you should go and see that film with robin williams in it. He developes photos in a shop and goes all physco over this family hes seen photos of. I can't remember what the fuck its called or if its out yet - but it looks good.
Posted by ilovebeerme, 15:08, 8th October 2002:
 
One Hour Photo. Looks real good. Robin Williams is awesome as a scary guy. Not as sinister as he was in Jack though.
Posted by chandler, 15:09, 8th October 2002:
 
Which one is Insomnia? is that the film we are talking about, I havent had a chance to see it yet
Posted by Rosie, 15:11, 8th October 2002:
 
Thing is with Robin Williams is that I just keep thinking of that crappy "Mrs Doubtfire" film and him parading around with a rubbery nose and false tits.
Posted by ilovebeerme, 15:12, 8th October 2002:
 
Insomnia is Robin Williams with Al Pacino. Set in Alaska, permenant daylight, insomnia, murder....wackiness ensues.

One Hour Photo is Robin Williams being sad and lonely, then scary and pervy, then scary....wackiness also ensues.
Posted by chandler, 15:19, 8th October 2002:
 
oh right. I was confused between the two. Both sound quite good.

Robin Williams is great in Jack and Good Will Hunting
Posted by nico, 15:32, 8th October 2002:
 
Call me a sad bastard for watching it but I could hardly breathe for laughing by the end of Parkie last Saturday. I know he's mad but he's a very, very funny bloke; pairing him with Stephen Fry was just asking for trouble.
Posted by Grim..., 15:34, 8th October 2002:
 
And Mrs Doubtfire =]

Hang on... How did we get from Muff shaving to Robin Williams?
Posted by Rosie, 15:36, 8th October 2002:
 
They are both cunts.
Posted by Rosie, 15:37, 8th October 2002:
 
Sorry for my bad language.
Posted by cal, 15:54, 8th October 2002:
 
you will be.

insomnia is good. robin williams plays a very good bad guy. shall have to see one hour photo soon
Posted by Rosie, 15:57, 8th October 2002:
 
AWWWWW - Don't tell me off cal. I didn't mean it.
Posted by chris, 16:04, 8th October 2002:
 
He was good in Insomnia but a little too likeable in places - i put that down to the writers, and loving Mork and Mindy.

One Hour Photo looks fucking scary...
Posted by Rosie, 17:02, 8th October 2002:
 
I LOVE MORK AND MINDY - it was so cool!
Going home now - c u l8r.
xxx
Posted by cal, 17:12, 8th October 2002:
 
see - this is how it starts. conversations about intimate body parts, kisses in messages and then comes the naked thread. i've seen it all before ;)
Posted by chris, 18:06, 8th October 2002:
 
mork and mindy does indeed rock, i hope i never lay an egg though.
Posted by ell, 23:49, 8th October 2002:
 
One hour photo looks class, but let's not forget RED DRAGON THIS FRIDAY! woo!
Posted by cal, 08:10, 9th October 2002:
 
(or the previes on thursday)

me and chris went to see lilo and stitch last night. it's fucking ace.
Posted by chris, 09:27, 9th October 2002:
 
it was fantastic.... i think we laughed too loud though.
Posted by cal, 12:14, 9th October 2002:
 
people kept looking at us funny
Posted by chris, 14:53, 9th October 2002:
 
people always do.
Posted by Grim..., 17:39, 9th October 2002:
 
I was gonna say - that was nothing to do with the laughing.