iamcal.com Since May 2000

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• Hello!

Okay, so, what do you do? I mean, some of us know each others job titles, but what does that mean?
So, I'll start.
After moving jobs about 900 times (as Mr Henderson-Begg (or is it Dr. Henderson-Begg (Hons)) will confirm) I am now happily snug in the role of 'Head Of Software Testing' for a company whose name I won't tell you so that you can't look at their highly, highly embarrassing company website. We make time and attendance stuff - all very clever Personal Identification Field stuff, so I get to play with cool palm scanners and things.
That's me - who's next?

Since I have zero experience in the corporate programming world and am just now only a high school graduate, I am lucky to have any job at all, let alone this one.

As a summer job, I am working for a financial "technology" company. I am on a documentation team, converting foxpro banking software to pseudocode, so that when new development starts, they won't have to bother looking at the old rubbish.

I am grateful, however, that my first job is at a computer, and not behind a grill...

I work in tech support for a digital camera company, and right now I am scratching my head on how the hell to use an ibook :D

i'm technical director of a special web protects team. i build intranets and listen to radiohead

I do Sainsburys 1st/2nd line IT support... it sucks. I listen to whinging users.

At the moment, I try to set up a zine and get interviews from hip new bands. I also party. Think about "what it all means." And screw up my sleeping pattern so I'm nearly nocturnal.

Which is my way of saying - Hello, my name's Guy Parsons, I've finished school, not yet started college, and too lazy to get a job. Responsibilities = 0!

whilst studying IT at a uni in sydney, i work as a web developer in the e-bus department of an insurance company.
i do anything from site design and creation, to html creation, to site architecture and content creation, etc.

[edit]..silly me, i almost forgot. in my spare time, i am also first on call security for the school that i am living at, and empty the bins there too.[/edit]

Elliott Brady (IEE), Computer & Communications Systems Engineering Student extraordinaire, at your service. :)

To earn cash term-time, I work at a small student bar a stonesthrow away from where I lived last year... dunno if I'm gonna cope with the 10 min walk in Oct. :-S

I am an information architect. I help confused clients learn how to unconfuse their Web sites. I was hired at one agency in 1996 -- I have never quit, but during that time I have worked for seven different companies. (sigh... new management again? who is it today?)

Any job where you can tell the client what they want has to have perks.

Tho I know from experience "what the client wants" and "what the client actually needs / can be done" are diametrically opposed. :(

I'm the senior graphic artist for a small ad agency out here in Arizona. I design graphics, listen to Radiohead, and have an intravenous supply of Coke straight to my bloodstream.

it's offical. all the regulars are very cool

but matt.s, who do you work for, and where?

I work for a school of management as a PC Technician, fixing pc problems, sorting out backups of the servers and running the anti virus defence for all our computers.

I am contracting at the moment (it sucks, too much paper work). I've been through too many jobs, started looking now. I mainly work with ColdFusion and at the moment trying to get my head around using Dreamweaver MX.

too much paper work, too much money

contracting has it's upsides too

i do 1st / 2nd line for an insurance co. It's shit. Anyone wanna give me a new job?

woo cal,
not all contracts pay you tons of money, I'd prefer permanent any day.

i'm a university student who's primary employment is making cups of tea and cheese toasties for my brother and making manuals and letterheads for my dad's company (unpaid sadly). on monday i start work for a graphic designer who designs the chartered accountants monthly publication amongst other (boring) things and works from home (where they have a smelly dog and many children) and am being paid a token wage. It may be for a week, it may be longer. i hope it isnt longer.
i am horribly overdrawn.

Ditto. Setting up another illicit student bank account with a fat overdraft at *ahem*Fuck-a-Fresher Week is sounding more and more appealing...

I build backend stuff for web sites, maintain a few servers and look after all the existing legacy Cal PHP code. This has won me many medals for bravery above and beyond the call of duty. What was he thinking?

looking after my legacy code is a scary prospect. almost full time isn't it ;)

Ok, now a new question: What do you wish you could do? What's that secret dream job you're aspiring to? For me, it's some kind of mobile phone r&d for Nokia or Nortel.

I wish i could fly, right up in the sky!

i wish i could program websites and eat danish pastries.

oh look, i do!

I am a new media designer/developer, I wish I could design and devlop new media.

I am unemployed, I wish i could do anything.

cal: if you are a technical director do you have a host of monkey boys to do all the web production?
I'd like a host of monkeyboy/girls.

I work part-time at Safeway and I've just finished University gaining an honours degree in Computing. In my spare time I fight the plague of spam on the web by compiling a massive list of known spammers for people to download from my website. Not too sure what to do next however... maybe a Masters degree or maybe a 'proper' job...

Ideally I would like a job that invloved me being able to get up at 12, watch ER, work in my flat without putting anything more than boxershorts on until 4 where I would watch CBBC. I would go out when I liked and work when I see fit, normally at 2 AM when nothing is on the telly. I would like this job to be well paid and invlolve some form of IT... I'm quite versatile.

Anyone got any ideas?

or I would like to be a screenwriter which is pretty much the same

I develop websites for travel and leisure companies. In reality I spend most of my time on b3ta potatoswapping kittens and lying to clients about project overruns.

I also often smoke a little puff in the office as I stare out of the window at life streaming down Brighton's streets toward the beach.

I eat too many danish pastries

That sounds exactly like my day sul, apart from the money bit.

gary: you forgot to mention that you did exactly the same course as me

MonkeyArmada: no monkeys at all i'm afraid

fishbear: woo for danish pastries

I design for web and printable stuff down here in Brazil. I listen to music all day. All kinds of music, from samba to sigur ros...

I just started a new job as a senior interface designer for a online communications company who do maily corporate , investor related websites, annual reports etc. People here talk a lot about THE BRAND PROMISE - so far I've tried to avoid that term in most of my conversations .. : )

think outside the box
win win situation
value add
strategic fit
put it to bed
revisit
synergies
big picture
upside
ball park
results driven
take it offline
bottom line
thing that goes
fast track

it's wank words bingo

How about:
The Ball's in your court.
Your in your own time now.
My tea's a salad.

touch base

we designers like the term 'juxtapose' very wank.

touch base! i haven't heard that phrase since i left my last agency. ahh, the good old days ;)

designer also like 'clean and not too busy' = = = no real text just a photo and a claim in 16p hevetica next to it

do you work in my office?

prolly not, or you'd be using 16pt courier :D

ooh, wankwords bingo! I will play it today on a two-hour conference call. Usually before a meeting, the design director and I pick words like "peacock," "gusset," or "lugnut" and whoever uses them first in front of the client gets points. Bingo will be a refreshing change of pace.

happyamelie: If you don't work with cal, you must work with me... It is discussions about THE BRAND PROMISE that make games like wankwords bingo so appealing.

msmissy: that game's also called "monkey-tennis", and the phrase monkey-tennis scores the most points. i used to play that game in english classes at school!

And wank-word bingo is also called Bullshit Bingo. My word list is quite small though, I'm obviously not management material.

Ah, monkey-tennis. The fact that it has a name makes it all the more legitimate. Maybe we should have a monkey-tennis tournament -- like Wimbledon, only without Pete Sampras and his unibrow.

a monkey tennis tournament would be cool - but you need a "playing field" of unaware people. like middle-managers

No-one has mentioned 'Singing from the same hymn sheet'.

My dream job would be to own a night club.
I am also a DJ (in my spare time).
Cal : I work for a company called Tensor, in Hail Weston.

wow, that's bad

I know it's going off the subject a bit, but my town centre has been given a face-lift. ( They have planted a handful of trees and erected a hugh metal swan.) Today is the grand opening ceremony with none other than Penelope Keith starting the festivities!

Are you all jealous?

Would anyone like me to get her autograph for them?

;-)

ooh ooh ooh!

maybe not ;)

i am also a member of the great unemployed!

recent(ish) grad in comp sci, looking for a foot in the door, currently all doors seem to be fricken welded shut. tight.

where did you study?

i studied at salford uni, m/c uk

got a 2.1

but still remain unemployable, dont it suck?

on the plus side i am going to zambia to work at my dads school for a month.

work as in not getting paid thou, atleast its experince

You sound like an employable bloke,come and work for me.

yeah, cheers chris, but you aint got no job either, and youve been attending the dreaded 'JC' building!

No christmas card for you then.

hey - i went for an interview at salford for a software engineering bsc.

My title is Research Associate: which in turn means that I do a lot of information pulling for my company and also mantain/format a resume database, I also do techincal editing, formatting and work on huge proposals all the way through production and mailing the damn things out.

I love my job, but fear it is coming to an end and soon. Need to start getting my resume out.

My dream job would to be a high payed Model. But me thinks I am not pretty enough.

Is this the point where we tell you how pretty you are?

Nope .... I don't do stuff like that. To much of a Tom-Boy

You can ask others if you like .. but I don't brag about myself.

The model thing was a joke .. and those who know me well ... are very aware of that.

I've seen your photo, Mmmmmm Nice!

*blushing* mmmmmmm .... thanks.

Booo! New topic of the day needed! Booooo!

If only to spare Nov further blushing (tho I'm pretty sure she's enjoying it really) =]

pah, she engineered the whole thing!

maybe the new TOTD should be "just how cute is nov?"

I don't believe in jobs. I hope I never get one.

I'd rather be broke and bored than rich and overworked.

Rich people don't have jobs Uncle