What are your thoughts on people who snoop through your emails, journals etc?
Posted by
chris, 14:38, 5th August 2002:
people don't... well, at least people i know don't.
someone could re release a Genesis track, but as "I know what I like in your inbox"
I mean your personal email.
My friend email today to tell me that his reaktionship is over because his girlfriend snooped through his emails and found somethings that she didn't understand, so she left a note on his pillow and left.
Why do people find it necessary to snoop through someone's stuff.
No, he wasn't hiding anything. He is a very forward upfront person and that is why it bothers me that she did that. The stuff she found was very old and way before her time.
Posted by
Rosie, 15:45, 5th August 2002:
I think that sometimes you need to have a good old dig around in your partners personal belongings. Its not being sneaky- its being safe....
Posted by
Sul, 15:54, 5th August 2002:
no rosie... its being sneaky
I agree with you Sul.
If you don't trust your partner then you shouldn't be with them.
We all need a private place for our thoughts, memories and it isn't fair to have them invaded because the person is just plain out being a snoop.
Nothing worse than a paranoid partner, your mate's well rid of her.
Posted by
Rosie, 16:09, 5th August 2002:
NO! If you are in love with someone, why would you want to hide anything from them? UNLESS you are hiding something shit. IE; Hotel receipts, other girls undies, phone numbers, etc....
So therefore its not sneaking its looking after number one. If you don't find anything shitty then it means the other person is being true.
See?
If you love someone you respect their privacy.
If you love someone you trust them.
Love is not about looking out for number one. Love is loving someone uncondtionaly despite their past and their flaws. That is love.
Posted by
Rosie, 16:29, 5th August 2002:
Answer me this...
If you thought your partner was cheating on you, would you not drive past his/her house just to make sure there was n't another car parked up the drive? Or if he/she said they were working late but you did n't quite believe them, would you not call to make sure they were actually at work?
If you answered YES then its the same as snooping.
But snooping is not a bad thing. Its making sure your not being dumped on.
My answer to all of these is NO, I would do none of the above.
Plain in simple if I thought they were cheating and I ddidn't trust them then we wouldn't be together.
Posted by
Rosie, 16:44, 5th August 2002:
You have never been cheated on by someone then.(?)
Posted by
chris, 16:55, 5th August 2002:
Snooping is bad and wrong, the only people who snoop through my personal stuff are Cal and Bex.
Posted by
Rosie, 16:57, 5th August 2002:
Snooping is only wrong if you are bad at it and get caught.
If you are clever and can get away with it, then why not?
Posted by
plindoe, 17:27, 5th August 2002:
if you dont snoop then you are gonna get cheated on, its unfortunatly human nature to try and do something you shouldnt do if you know there is a strong chance of getting away with it.
Posted by
zxenor, 17:33, 5th August 2002:
subjective vs objective relationship privacy...hmm...
Posted by
Grim..., 17:35, 5th August 2002:
I snoop, therefore I am.
Yes, I have been cheated on, but that is why I am not with them. There are other ways of telling that you are being cheated on vs going through someone things.
If you are close to someone and that intmate then you will know when they are lying.
I can tell when my man lies because he can't look me in the eye and he always smirks when he is lying. You learn to read body lanauage.
Posted by
plindoe, 18:07, 5th August 2002:
problems there thou, is that people can lie really well, like a professional liar.
then you would be buggered coz you would think everything is hunkydory when he is out cheating on you left right and centre!
so it really is a bad dilema to be in, do you wanna think you cannot trust them and snoop, and if you find nothing you can trust them, but you cannot because you have already doubted them, or do you go on aimlessly trusting them, when really you shouldnt!
I go by my gut feeling.
I know when I am being played, maybe because I am older and wiser in relationships then I used to be when I was young.
We are all going to have differnt view points on this. But since you a asking what ifs ...
Then what if someone snooped through your things? How would that make you feel?
Posted by
plindoe, 18:13, 5th August 2002:
i know what your saying, it wouldnt be nice either way, not trusting some1 or some1 not trusting you, especially if you thought that some1 was the right1!!!
like i said 1 hell of a dilema!
personally i dont snoop, have in the past, but dont now. if people abuse my trust then screw them, they aint worth being!
Snooping today, boiling Fluffy on the kitchen stove tomorrow, mark my words
Posted by
ell, 23:57, 5th August 2002:
I'm not sure I agree with snooping, but it's in human nature to be suspiscious... I have done some snooping in the past, and it'd be foolish of my to think that I won't ever have some moment of weakness in the future and do it again. I'm sure I wouldn't be happy if I found someone had been snooping round my stuff (on a related note, this is what
encryption is for, people) but I'm not so holier-than-thou to tell someone to get lost for good if I caught them snooping, "because I can't trust you anymore"
Posted by
plindoe, 00:38, 6th August 2002:
going on a little bit, trust is a very funny thing. Yes i trust that, no matter what, my cat will shit on the bedroom floor(when its allowed in the house mind you!), but do i trust someone not to do something that, as mentioned just b4 is human nature', then to say i will never trust them again!
god lets just end this thread b4 will all need therapy!
Posted by
ell, 06:31, 6th August 2002:
I'm pretty sure most of us here already therapy. If you feel you don't then stick around for a bit longer. :)
Posted by
cal, 08:58, 6th August 2002:
"like a professional liar"
I was about to ask what a professional liar did, but then i remembered that liar and lawyer are synonyms.
snooping
is wrong. just because someone's not cheating on you doesn't mean they don't have things that they don't want you to see. it depends upon your level of involvement - if you're married, living togther, kids, etc. then it's more acceptable, but up to that point you need to keep things to yourself.
if you think you need to be checking whether someone is cheating on you, then you don't need to be with them. find someone you don't feel you need to check up on.
Posted by
ell, 00:16, 7th August 2002:
..and failing that, be sure you'll
never need to snoop.
Posted by
Sul, 01:23, 7th August 2002:
this is what encryption is for, people
Thats why I write my diary in my own patented encryption technique(my handwriting. I'm currently in talks with HSBC for using it in the new version of their internet banking) and under a secure layer(my duvet. HSBC werent so intersted in that):)
But as Ell said, its human nature to be suspiscious and paranoid but its a completley different thing to act on it, its called control and as said before if you go over the line and have to act on it you shouldnt be with that person. nuff said!
Posted by
cal, 08:44, 7th August 2002:
sul: yes, completely
ell: err, thanks. you're oddly obsessed with that site...
I am glad that I picked a topic that has gotten so much attention.
Posted by
sal, 18:29, 7th August 2002:
Ell's friend has one, he borrows it when he's feeling lonely :P
Posted by
ell, 00:16, 8th August 2002:
Cal: I reeeeeaaaallllly wanna buy someone one as a joke, but I've already pointed out the site to everyone I know, so the surprise is ruined. :(
Posted by
ell, 00:17, 8th August 2002:
Plus, if you were to recieve a large but lightweight package from me in the post, wouldn't you be suspicious?