Discussion » Letters

This is a read-only copy. The forum ran on iamcal.com from 2000 until its database was lost in 2016, and this topic was rebuilt from copies saved by the Internet Archive's Wayback Machine. Some replies may be missing, and its dates are approximate.
Posted by Sul, 21:06, 30th October 2002:
 
I just sent Mr Rolf Harris the following letter:

www.pressingbuttons.co.uk/l...

I hope he replies :D
Posted by Victor Menendez, 21:13, 30th October 2002:
 
Shouldn't rolf be tying that kangaroo down? sport.
no sign of two little boys either.
Posted by Sul, 00:45, 31st October 2002:
 
ROLF ROCKS! Leave him the fuck alone! And TLB is one of the best songs ever written!
Posted by cal, 08:46, 31st October 2002:
 
hahaha - that's fucking genius
Posted by ilovebeerme, 08:52, 31st October 2002:
 
You should win the turner prize
Posted by Grim..., 08:54, 31st October 2002:
 
Hmm - do you think Rolf will have the technical know-how to open a .pdf?
He is old, you know...
Posted by Sul, 11:04, 31st October 2002:
 
I sent it by snail mail. I have also sent letters to Heinz and KP. Oh and an email to Interbrew. It's my new hobby.

I'll upload them all soon.
Posted by Rosie, 12:01, 31st October 2002:
 
The minimal use of colour is what attracts me to this.

It is indeed a fine work of art. ( you should put the price up to at least 25 quid sul!)
Posted by Sul, 15:00, 31st October 2002:
 
Please also see:

www.pressingbuttons.co.uk/l...
www.pressingbuttons.co.uk/l...
Posted by cal, 15:16, 31st October 2002:
 
heheheheheehhehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

they are soooo good. if you get replies, i hope you'll post them up here
Posted by Grim..., 15:42, 31st October 2002:
 
I am going to write to Wheat Crunchies, because on the back of the packet they give you an address and ask you to "Share your Wheat Crunchie Experience"...
Posted by cal, 15:50, 31st October 2002:
 
you should all email innocent drinks: dejavu@innocentdrinks.co.uk

they want to know about things you really like. infact, they are lovely people and you should all just say hello: thisiswhatIthink@innocentdrinks.co.uk
Posted by Rosie, 15:52, 31st October 2002:
 
Tell us about your Wheat Crunchie experience then Grim.... Was it an experience with the spicy tomato flavour??
Posted by Sul, 16:04, 31st October 2002:
 
"Cal from www.iamcal.com told me to say hello

Hello

Thanks

Dan Sullivan
Art dealer to the stars"
Posted by Sul, 16:06, 31st October 2002:
 
Wheat Crunchies rock so hard its unbeleivable!
Posted by cal, 16:12, 31st October 2002:
 
erm, thanks sul
Posted by Sul, 16:19, 31st October 2002:
 
np ;)
Posted by Rosie, 16:22, 31st October 2002:
 
i would write a letter to whoever makes monster munch and ask them to put them back to their original size.
I would also contact whoever makes the little variety packs of cereal, and ask them why the hell they include crappy boxes of,for example- Honey Nut Shit, and why don't they sub the crap nut ones for Rice Crispies - that everyone likes.
Posted by Rosie, 16:25, 31st October 2002:
 
My argument would be that by freeing up the cupboard space used by boxes of Honey Nut Crap, you could replenish the void with some of thier better, more popular products. Ie: Rice Crispies, Sugar Puffs and Ricicles.
Posted by Grim..., 16:28, 31st October 2002:
 
And why don't they make variety packs bigger, so a normal human could enjoy a decent sized breakfast without mixing two together.

And Starburst should be told to fuck off and call their sweets 'Opal Fruits' again.
Posted by Rosie, 16:31, 31st October 2002:
 
Yeah! What is all that "Starburst" shit? Their the same fucking thing as opal fruits, aren't they?

Can you still get Nestles Lucky Charms - "They're magically delicious"......?
Posted by Sul, 16:37, 31st October 2002:
 
Stop fannying around and write to them then!
Posted by Rosie, 16:39, 31st October 2002:
 
OOOOoo! - You're being rather pro-active today,sul.

Whats up?!
Posted by Sul, 16:47, 31st October 2002:
 
I just want to start a spate of consumer feedback things getting bormbarded with funny letters, thats all.
Posted by Rosie, 16:51, 31st October 2002:
 
I think its a really cool idea.I definatly like the letter suggesting hot tins of spaghetti and stuff. You may get a load of vouchers for your efforts!!!!

You should make a chart of what you get back from these companys. You might even get a years supply of hot coffee for coming up with new inventions!

We could have a competition of who gets the best feedback from these companies.....!!

:-)
Posted by ilovebeerme, 16:53, 31st October 2002:
 
Are you allowed to 'doctor' products and then complain?
Posted by Rosie, 16:54, 31st October 2002:
 
No! Thats cheating.

(I once found a pubic hair in my cream bun)
Posted by cal, 17:03, 31st October 2002:
 
err, yumm
Posted by Sul, 17:04, 31st October 2002:
 
euphemism?
Posted by plindoe, 17:35, 31st October 2002:
 
oh ym god, your a fucking genius, pissed myself reading them, i hoop you do get a reply and not fobbed off as a lunatic, keep em coming (or going as it should be, whatever)
Posted by Redmaiden, 19:09, 31st October 2002:
 
nooo rolf doesn't shag chickens or whatever you've depicted him having sexual intercourse with *shocked*
Posted by Sul, 19:20, 31st October 2002:
 
Are you blind? its a kangaroo! And I didnt draw it. That seriously was Kerry's entry in a small inner-office drawing competition. It won her a fiver!
Posted by Sul, 19:53, 31st October 2002:
 
Oh and here are 2 emails I sent I manged to print them off but didnt save them so until I get around to retyping them they're in this 1 PDF. Obviously the first one was a ripoff of what matt posted a couple of months back but hopefully he doesnt mind.

www.pressingbuttons.co.uk/l...
Posted by Bex, 21:53, 31st October 2002:
 
My housemate Sarah found a hair in a bourbon so wrote to complain. Royal Mail sent her letter back saying the address didn't exist.

It's all lies. Lies I tell you....Lies!
Posted by cal, 00:07, 1st November 2002:
 
i think i love sul
Posted by reitsma, 04:08, 1st November 2002:
 
those letters are brilliant sul - the heinz, minicheddars and stella are all fantastic.
:o)
very cool stuff.
Posted by Sul, 13:44, 1st November 2002:
 
"i think i love sul"

HA! IN YOUR FACE BEX!
Posted by Grim..., 14:05, 1st November 2002:
 
Sul: Obviously the first one was a ripoff of what matt posted a couple of months back but hopefully he doesnt mind.

OI!
Posted by Sul, 14:14, 1st November 2002:
 
At least I admitted it.
Posted by Sul, 17:26, 1st November 2002:
 
Reply from innocent drinks:

"Hello Dan,

A big hello right back to you and cal.

Wishing you both a joyous weekend.

All the best,


Row
A would-be great friend to the stars"
Posted by Gary, 17:55, 1st November 2002:
 
* wipes tears from eyes *

Those letters/e-mails all rock - fantastic! :)
Posted by cal, 23:48, 1st November 2002:
 
Told you innocent were ace
Posted by Redmaiden, 00:00, 2nd November 2002:
 
kangaroo? hmm
Posted by Sul, 13:30, 3rd November 2002:
 
All sitting quite nicley here: letters.pressingbuttons.co.uk

KP wrote back, I'll upload the reply on tuesday
Posted by cal, 16:55, 3rd November 2002:
 
oooh - i want to know what they said :D
Posted by ell, 03:29, 8th November 2002:
 
Sul, you are a god amongst men.
Posted by Grim..., 09:17, 8th November 2002:
 
Come on Sul, what did they say?
Posted by Rosie, 12:25, 8th November 2002:
 
WHERE HAS SUL GONE?
Posted by Sul, 13:45, 8th November 2002:
 
Sorry been off work, I'll sort it all out tomorrow
Posted by Grim..., 16:17, 8th November 2002:
 
You Ill mate?
Posted by Sul, 16:58, 8th November 2002:
 
Not been sleeping. Nothing serious.
Posted by Grim..., 17:49, 8th November 2002:
 
I have actually been medically certified as an Insomniac, so I know what you mean.

I currently get up for work at 7am, work until 6-9pm, do computer stuff or go out from 7ish to 11ish, come home (or carry on) with computer stuff from 11 until 1am, get into bed and read for about 2 hours, then sleep for 4 hours and get up again.

This has been going on for about four months now and my body's dealing with it quite well - however I'm worried that it'll give up and break soon.
My doctor says it's nothing to worry about.

I've got sleeping pills but if I take one I still don't get to sleep until about 3am but then I can't get up!
Cheers doc! =]
Posted by Sul, 13:36, 10th November 2002:
 
KP and Heinz have responded. I have scanned and uploaded. Please see:

letters.pressingbuttons.co.uk

now you all know my address so you can all petrol bomb my windows :|
Posted by reitsma, 21:52, 10th November 2002:
 
cool!
i loved the heinz reply - very detailed response!
so, did you get any cool brochures with it?

nice work sul!
:o)
Posted by chandler, 23:20, 10th November 2002:
 
Hey I complained to Heinz about some soup that was not to my liking last week and they just sent me a £3 Heinz voucher. and I only have to buy ONE heinz product when I use it. So one can of soup and the rest on chocolate and crisps I think. mmm mmm
Posted by 100% kitten, 23:32, 10th November 2002:
 
comedy genius!
Posted by 100% kitten, 00:03, 11th November 2002:
 
what was in the leaflets? Common childhood misconceptions of flatulence explained?
Posted by Sul, 14:49, 11th November 2002:
 
The leaflets were entitled:

Gettting Creative with Sandwiches
Heinz: Your Guide to A Good Diet
Heinz Salad Cream: Serving Suggestions
5-A-DAY The Heinz Way
The Heinz Sauce Collection
Heinz: Meals with Heinz Baked Beans
Heinz Pizza-Pleasure
Heinz Microwavable Potato Slices
Weight Watchers from Heinz: New Range of Products

And

The Bean Story
Posted by chandler, 14:51, 11th November 2002:
 
Is that like ToyStory but with beans cos that would just suck
Posted by Sul, 15:01, 11th November 2002:
 
I dont know. I havent read it yet. Will let you know.
Posted by cal, 15:02, 11th November 2002:
 
the reply from mcvities was a complete fob-off. impressed with heinz though
Posted by chandler, 15:02, 11th November 2002:
 
you praise them and get leaflets
I abuse them and get money off

There is a lesson here somewhere but not sure it is the right message
Posted by Meatwood Flack, around 2nd March 2010:
 
I wish these were still up here. I have no idea what Sul wrote to Rolf Harris but I'm sure it was good.
Posted by syl, around 2nd March 2010:
 
rolf

He's kinda hot.
Posted by che, around 2nd March 2010:
 
I saw him in town on Saturday