Leslie Kirkman, Systems Analyst, 50-odd, Manchester.
Whos yours?
Posted by
cal, 12:21, 21st January 2003:
Alistair Henderson-Begg, Idiot, 50-ish, Still alive :|
John Wyman Monts, 52, Head Maintenance Supervisor, South Carolina
Posted by
chandler, 12:34, 21st January 2003:
Idiot, thats a little harsh isnt it?
Posted by
nibbler, 12:37, 21st January 2003:
Jim Feely, retired last year (mainly gardening now), 60 this year.
Posted by
cal, 12:45, 21st January 2003:
true. lying, cheating, adulterous cunt would be more befitting.
dang ...I take it that you and your father do not get along very well.
Posted by
chandler, 12:49, 21st January 2003:
oh ok fair enough
Sorry people, only started this thread because i was bored, didn't mean to bring on big downers.
Posted by
chandler, 12:53, 21st January 2003:
bad karma man. whooa
Let me tell you a joke i just made up to try and cheer you all.
Muslim cleric Abu Hamza (as seen on most newspapers today) is being interviewed by a local newspaper and the conversation comes round to his 'distinctive' appearance. "so Mr Hamza, i notice you walk with a limp, how did you come by that?" asks the reporter. "I was wounded by Infidels in the defence of Islam, Allah uh Ackbar!" shouts the crazed cleric.
"ah, and your hand, how did you lose that?" replies the reporter. "A devil Iraqi grenade claimed my hand and sent it on to the prophet!" states the scraggy bearded one. "i see" says the reporter, "and finally i notice you have a false eye. what happened to that?". "a bird shit in it" comes the unexpected reply. "Bird shit cost you an eye?" asks the disbeliving reporter. "Yes, first day with the hook"
Posted by
arsepuppy, 13:16, 21st January 2003:
Michael Orton, 65/66?, retired health physicist, now part-time ufologist and writer.
Posted by
arsepuppy, 13:16, 21st January 2003:
My mum used to be a bra fitter though. Best job ever?
Posted by
arsepuppy, 13:17, 21st January 2003:
Do I win the "oldest dad" round?
You win the 'most interesting sounding dad' award, i wish my dad was a UFOlogist.
Posted by
Sul, 13:24, 21st January 2003:
Terry Sullivan, 49, Fixes the machines that fix the railways (No idea what his job title is). Nice bloke, bought my laptop.
Posted by
Sul, 13:25, 21st January 2003:
oh and Kirkman, so making up a joke is the same as the just changing an old one slightly is it?
Err, yes. i bastardised the old pirate joke, it was a worthy cause though. Sullivan!
Posted by
Grim..., 13:34, 21st January 2003:
Geoff Squirrell, 49, Race Car Engineer and Pit Crew Mechanic for McLaren.
Coolest job? Possibly =]
Posted by
cal, 14:13, 21st January 2003:
does anyone have a pirate or ninja for a father?
Posted by
chandler, 14:15, 21st January 2003:
My father is a pirate. and my mother is a ninja. And i am a PiraNa
Posted by
chandler, 14:17, 21st January 2003:
yes
Posted by
chandler, 14:18, 21st January 2003:
or a Jyrate
John Ross, 53(?), no idea, sold my toys when i was 7 :(
Posted by
chandler, 14:57, 21st January 2003:
he's on tv now, can't pronounce his "R"s
Not sure about mine. He must have been called 'Alan' or 'Alastair', 'cos it's got "A. Soldier" on my birth certificate!
Posted by
chandler, 15:28, 21st January 2003:
boom boom
Posted by
arsepuppy, 15:31, 21st January 2003:
My nephew (Thallos) was nearly called Maximus. I shit you not.
Posted by
chandler, 15:41, 21st January 2003:
I beleive you, you are the one with the strange named female relatives right?
Posted by
chandler, 15:41, 21st January 2003:
mind you my sisters name is Shula
Posted by
arsepuppy, 15:42, 21st January 2003:
I used to have a pet chicken called Shula. 'Tis a cool name.
Posted by
Grim..., 15:50, 21st January 2003:
We had a dog called Chula (pronounced the same way).
It's an Indian name, is it not?
Posted by
chandler, 15:55, 21st January 2003:
really, a pet chicken? I shall tell her that! :D
My mum and dad got it from listening to the Archers on Radio 4 cos we are simple country folk.
Posted by
arsepuppy, 15:58, 21st January 2003:
Yeah. Got eaten by a fox, sadly.
Posted by
izb, 16:05, 21st January 2003:
You should have left the bag of grain on the riverbank with the fox.
Posted by
chandler, 16:06, 21st January 2003:
izb: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA very good. :D
arsepuppy: Oh and sorry to hear about the whole getting eaten by a fox thing.
I hope my sister doesnt get eaten by a fox, else my whole stance on the hunting issue will be tragically ironic.
Posted by
Rosie, 16:20, 21st January 2003:
My sister Vanessa reckons she saw an orange rat with a pigeon foot in her bedroom once.
(she was on medication at the time.)
Posted by
chandler, 16:23, 21st January 2003:
um, ok
Posted by
Rosie, 16:25, 21st January 2003:
My father fucked off on us......Wonder why, eh?
Posted by
Grim..., 16:32, 21st January 2003:
My folks are still married, suprising because they got married when they were stupidly young (my dad was 20 and my mum 18).
If I had done with my life what my old man had done, I'd have a 4-year old kid by now...
EEK!
Posted by
chandler, 16:34, 21st January 2003:
just out of interest how many people here do have parents who are still married? if it's not a personal question. which it obviously is.
Posted by
Rosie, 16:35, 21st January 2003:
Its strange - isn't it? My mum married my bastard father when she was my age now , 23, and was married to him for over 25 years. Then he decides to go and fuck his secretary.....
Daddy, 51 tomorrow, corporate finance banker.
and yes, my parents are still married and together.
Posted by
Redmaiden, 22:14, 21st January 2003:
Dad - Ray Dawes, 53, Systems thingamybob, dunno he just makes program things on the computer. He works for a company that makes the machines that makes cans.
My parents are still married, they've been married 30 odd years.
Posted by
arsepuppy, 08:30, 22nd January 2003:
Your dad works for Dixie-Narco?
Hmm, yeah I guess I am one of the lucky ones.
Posted by
Redmaiden, 23:06, 22nd January 2003:
What's Dixie Narco?
Posted by
arsepuppy, 08:39, 23rd January 2003:
It's
the vending machine company. Partly famous because Primal Scream named an EP after them and all the fanboys got all wet about it cos they thought it was a reference to narcotics, cos they're like *cool*, yeah?.
Anyway, it turned out that Bobby Gillespie got the name after getting a can of coke from a vending machine, dropping his change, and seeing the name on the side of the machine thought it would be a good name for an EP.
He's still a twat though.
Posted by
arsepuppy, 11:33, 23rd January 2003:
He's still a twat though.
That'll be Mr Gillespie, not your dad :)
Surely you are not saying that Bobby is an arse?
Posted by
chandler, 11:42, 23rd January 2003:
no he's a frontarse
Oh my...
I rather like Bobby....
Posted by
arsepuppy, 12:15, 23rd January 2003:
He does some good choons, but as a person is a bit of a shmuck. Especially the fact that he constantly spouts out 6th form level "right on" high-horse political shit despite the fact he has a huge collection of Nazi memorabilia. He's a twunt.
Posted by
Redmaiden, 22:34, 23rd January 2003:
sorry it's Carneau-Metalbox