Discussion » Democratic Republic Of Congo

This is a read-only copy. The forum ran on iamcal.com from 2000 until its database was lost in 2016, and this topic was rebuilt from copies saved by the Internet Archive's Wayback Machine. Some replies may be missing.
Posted by chandler, 14:14, 28th January 2003:
 
"FROM:MRS. M SESE-SEKO
DEAR FRIEND.
I AM MRS. MARIAM SESE-SEKO WIDOW OF
LATE PRESIDENT MOBUTU SESE-SEKO OF ZAIRE?
NOW KNOWN AS DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC OF CONGO
(DRC)."

Hey hey, now i am being wooed by fraudsters! nice! I was feeling a bit left out you know.

Hey and Cal the reason I posted this was that the e-mails came along to badtaste@chaymation.co.uk

Theonly time I have ever typed this address is a few days ago when I asked for that joke that was edited out to be sent to me.

So your site has been trawled for addresses and now I can get several million pounds for helping in transfering money for arseholes.
Posted by Victor Menendez, 14:20, 28th January 2003:
 
thats a point. cal, can you post a link to that story from a while back about the bloke who strung one of these conmen along to the point where he said he had gone to africa?
Posted by cal, 14:21, 28th January 2003:
 
see - iamcal can make you rich!!!!
Posted by cal, 14:23, 28th January 2003:
 
victor: i can't find it :/
Posted by Rosie, 14:27, 28th January 2003:
 
Lol - I remember that one! hee hee!
Posted by Victor Menendez, 14:46, 28th January 2003:
 
Never mind, it was v-funny though.
Posted by Victor Menendez, 15:00, 28th January 2003:
 
I found it, just type "Africa" into your search box and its the one at the bottom, just re-read it. genius.
Posted by Sul, 15:02, 28th January 2003:
 
www.iamcal.com/topic.php?id=1359
Posted by angel_mouse, 16:06, 28th January 2003:
 
lol! fantastic. i liked the thing about 2 metre tall sons needing to feel special.
Posted by Victor Menendez, 16:14, 28th January 2003:
 
cheers sul, dunno how to do that link thingy bob.
Posted by cal, 16:42, 28th January 2003:
 
you don't have to do anything - just paste a link
Posted by ell, 19:35, 28th January 2003:
 
Cal, the search sucks.. can you add a filter option to search ONLY your blog posts? So much easier to find things then.
Posted by Victor Menendez, 08:59, 29th January 2003:
 
www.iamcal.com/topic_1793
Posted by Victor Menendez, 08:59, 29th January 2003:
 
hey it works, don't follow that topic, you'll get confused.
Posted by cal, 12:49, 29th January 2003:
 
ell: you're right. i've done an upgrade to the search page - what do you think?
Posted by Sul, 13:30, 29th January 2003:
 
its very pretty
Posted by chandler, 13:54, 29th January 2003:
 
slow day today
Posted by Rosie, 14:01, 29th January 2003:
 
Hey Chay! I wondered where you was. You must have been hiding....
Posted by chandler, 14:05, 29th January 2003:
 
yes. sort of working. I didnt post anything cos noone else had. I guess that is a vicious circle though
Posted by Rosie, 14:12, 29th January 2003:
 
I am having a nightmare of a day. Bloody customers. I hate the general public! All they do is moan, moan, moan.
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 14:14, 29th January 2003:
 
Who do you work for Rosie?
Posted by Sul, 14:14, 29th January 2003:
 
I'm always "sort of" working

I wrote this yesterday morning:

An Interview with Dan Sullivan by Dan Sullivan

Sul's Boredem Emails have been lucky enough to have been granted a chance to interview Dan Sullivan, AKA myself. Our interview takes place on a busy helpdesk within an MS Outlook 2000 'New Mail' window. Dan looks as though he is working very hard but anybody who knows him will know that this is not possible. On closer inspection it appears that he is typing a strange email that appears to be an interview with himself. He seems happy to answer our questions.

SBE: Hi Dan how are you?
Dan: Fine thanks, and you?

SBE: Great thanks. So what have you been up to so far today, anything interesting?
Dan: Nothing amazingly interesting. Explained how to install a mouse extension cable, deciphered someones long and drawn out drivvle to find out that all they wanted was a password reset.

SBE: Sounds like a fun packed life you lead Dan. Explain to us exactly how your days are filled.
Dan: Well, on a work day, I wake up normally around 6. I then decide wether I want to go to work or not. The usual answer is no. I give it 10 minutes and then reasses my time off to in-work ratios and make a snap decision on wether I care if I get the sack or not. Sometimes I do, sometimes I dont. If I go to work I usually catch a train and get to work for 8. I spend the next 8 and a half hours talking to witless morons who fail to be able to use a plug socket, let alone a computer. In this time I will drink on average, 4 cans of full-fat coke and 5 cups of tea. My happiness threshold generally drops when I am forced to talk to anyone and rises again when anybody leaves me alone. Sometimes I speak to somebody nice although this happens extremely rarely and most of the time I find I'm talking to myself. After I finish work I will normally go to the pub. Not much happens in the pub that I can remember, some memories will normally include asking barmaids out although this has had a tendency to lead to bad things including stalking, sackings, marriage and leaving the country. After about 6 pints I'll start my journey home. This will possibly include singing a song to somebody's voicemail. Usually Tashas as I have feeling that deep down she appreciates the attention. After getting indoors and falling to sleep I'll start the routine over again. If, however, I have the day off work I will usually watch Magnum PI, Columbo and various other television productions all day. Sometimes phoning people and making cups of tea.

SBE: Wow, that's amazing. How do you manage to do anything else
Dan: I don't

SBE: Oh. So what would you say you're greatest acheivment was?
Dan: Coming to work today, I was sooo happy with myself although noone else seemed joing in with my delight. Some people just don't recognise the small things.

SBE: Indeed. So do have any plans for the future. Any ambitions?
Dan: I plan to set my TV recorder up so I can record Magnum and Columbo everyday.

SBE: Anything else?
Dan: Like?

SBE: Well you must want to do something other than record 80's detective dramas in your life.
Dan: Not really.

SBE: Well I think that's it, thanks for your time.
Dan: Not a problem, take care.

And that's it. The first interview with a truly profound man. A man full of greatness. A man of full complexity. A man full of... it.
Posted by Rosie, 14:19, 29th January 2003:
 
Foghorn - I work for a company called GN Netcom.
I sell telephone headsets.

Sul- :-/
Posted by Sul, 14:20, 29th January 2003:
 
I get bored
Posted by Rosie, 14:24, 29th January 2003:
 
I am bored.
Posted by Sul, 14:25, 29th January 2003:
 
interview yourself
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 14:25, 29th January 2003:
 
And you are getting customers complaining about heir headsets? Jesus!
Posted by Rosie, 14:25, 29th January 2003:
 
i need a wee but i cant be arsed to get up.

What should i do???
Posted by Rosie, 14:26, 29th January 2003:
 
My customers are not moaning about our headsets.
They are moaning about me!
Posted by chandler, 14:27, 29th January 2003:
 
just let go
Posted by chandler, 14:27, 29th January 2003:
 
it'll soon dry
Posted by Rosie, 14:28, 29th January 2003:
 
I could do but then i might start to smell, and that wouldn't be nice.


I'm crossing my legs.
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 14:29, 29th January 2003:
 
Well i suoose you could do:

a) Cross your legs
b) Just pee
c) Get up and go
d) Pee in a bottle under your desk

And the choice is yours
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 14:30, 29th January 2003:
 
Well i suoose you could:

a) Cross your legs
b) Just pee
c) Get up and go
d) Pee in a bottle under your desk

And the choice is yours
Posted by Rosie, 14:30, 29th January 2003:
 
Does it do your body any damage holding in your wee? I guess it might do your bladder good - strengthing the muscle, maybe....
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 14:33, 29th January 2003:
 
Why did that happen? I didnt type that twice...

God, i am lost today
Posted by chandler, 14:33, 29th January 2003:
 
its not good for your bladder. strains it, then you might wake up in 5 years time and find you need to wear special pants.
Posted by Rosie, 14:34, 29th January 2003:
 
OH CHRIST!!!!! I'm off for a piss then....
Posted by Rosie, 14:38, 29th January 2003:
 
I'm back.


It was good.
Posted by chandler, 14:43, 29th January 2003:
 
i'm glad. are you empty now?
Posted by Rosie, 14:44, 29th January 2003:
 
Hey -I have a question...

I want to send Nov a postcard but i can't go to the post office. I have 3 first class stamps on my desk. can i use these and just put the post card in the letter box in the normal way? Or do I need to go to the post office and get a special ticket or something????

Pls help.
Posted by chandler, 14:45, 29th January 2003:
 
dont think it needs a special ticket
but it would need more than one stamp.
not sure how many

www.postoffice.com
Posted by Rosie, 14:46, 29th January 2003:
 
Cool! Thanks.
Posted by cal, 14:48, 29th January 2003:
 
hahaha
Posted by Rosie, 14:49, 29th January 2003:
 
Whats funny cal?
Posted by Rosie, 14:51, 29th January 2003:
 
I thought everyone was sending nov a postcard...
Posted by chandler, 14:54, 29th January 2003:
 
yes, i should but i havent yet cos im too lazy
Posted by Rosie, 14:57, 29th January 2003:
 
I might make one out of a stuck down envelope....
Posted by chandler, 15:00, 29th January 2003:
 
i might make one out of toilet roll tubes and sticky backed plastic
Posted by Rosie, 15:01, 29th January 2003:
 
LOL! I might make one out of a slice of bread.
Posted by chandler, 15:10, 29th January 2003:
 
toast would be better - stronger, easier to write on?
Posted by Rosie, 15:15, 29th January 2003:
 
Toast would be a better idea i suppose.

I don't think it would be appreciated though.

I might just stick to a postcard of the town hall.
Posted by chandler, 15:17, 29th January 2003:
 
:D
Posted by chandler, 15:17, 29th January 2003:
 
toast doesnt go mouldy it just gets harder and harder, so it would be good
Posted by Rosie, 15:23, 29th January 2003:
 
But what happens if it rains? Bread would soak the water up - Toast however could crack and break and the stamps might get broken off.
Posted by November Eclectica, 15:24, 29th January 2003:
 
That would be funny to get in the mail.

Rosie~ Thanks for thinking of me.

Cal~ Stop being lazy and send me something.
Posted by cal, 15:26, 29th January 2003:
 
rosie: i laughed at a message from way back up there. by the time i posted it, there were alot more replies

nov: yeah, sorry. i am shit
Posted by Rosie, 16:01, 29th January 2003:
 
When I visited the depths of hell on monday (eg : Bayswater) I saw a postcard that had a picture of a tit that had been painted up to look like a mouse face. It had whiskers coming of the nipple and everything!
Posted by Sul, 16:03, 29th January 2003:
 
I walk past that postcard everyday, it's lovely.

(well maybe not THAT postcard but the same picture)
Posted by Rosie, 16:07, 29th January 2003:
 
Its a good picture! I wish I'd bought that now for Nov!
Posted by November Eclectica, 16:49, 29th January 2003:
 
You must get me that picture, that would be awesome to have on display at work. *smile*
Posted by Rosie, 16:52, 29th January 2003:
 
Hee Hee! I'll see what I can do!!
Posted by Grim..., 18:16, 29th January 2003:
 
Hey - I posted that =]
Posted by November Eclectica, 19:25, 29th January 2003:
 
Grim- you posted what??
Posted by ell, 04:17, 30th January 2003:
 
Sweet search, good work Cal :)