iamcal.com Since May 2000

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• Hello!

What a load of bollox that is!!
Who is going to shoot that prick Ken Livingston first?

I quite like the congestion charge, i don't like ken livingston but i respect the mans courage in implementing an unpopular system for the greater good.

What greater good? And why should someone pay car tax then have to pay to drive in there own city?
Greater good for who? Certainly not the working class people!

SOCIALIST WORKER ALERT!

I dont drive so dont have to care about paying the charge. On my commute I always get a seat on the train so dont care in any cramped conditions. In fact, I dont have any gripes with it. I pay less on taxi charges in and around London now due to no waiting around in traffic.

No, everyday person alert.
I just dont think we should be dictated to by a scruffy joker who was thrown out of the GLC many years ago for being a prick.
He should never have been allowed in.
Typical clueless people once again voting him in, most of em probably read The Sun and get there world wide knowledge from that!

Actually I read the sun but get most of my world wide knowledge from newsround.

Besides, the more fivers that red ken can scam out of you poor saps who insist on driving, the more money goes to London Underground Limiteds budget and then into my enormous contractors bank balance. cheers!

there world wide knowledge?

there own city?

Yeah coz London Underground are doing a great job too arent they...??
How long has the Central Line been out??

So this CC is going to be put into transport yeah? We shall see if it ever turns into a decent service.

Doesnt the sun report on world wide subjects then?

I don't give a toss how good or bad LUL are as long as they keep paying me.

The CC is going to be put into speed cameras to save our children. and i think we will all agree that a speed camera on every corner is a good thing.

The sun can accurately match the correct inflection of there/their or they're to the situation.

well give them a chance. by law all this congestion charge money has to go into public transport. but you cant expect it to happen over night.

Of course the Sun does. The point is, who cares where someone gains their world-wide knowledge from, its got fuck all to do with what choices you make for a mayor of london.

Thats another pile of shite...speed cameras!

There should be more on minor roads and less on major roads.
What the fucks the point having a camera on a duel carriageway with no house either side? The only real reason is easy money, and less work for the lazy coppers to do.
Why not have them on side streets to save kids lives, its a joke!

Why would you care about speed cameras if you were a normal traffic law-abiding citizen like 95% of the countries population. its those dirty speeders who keep running over my mad aunt delilah's cats.

they should fit black boxes to all cars. and then work it out so that either it is gps or based on transponders in the speed signs. so that you get fined automatically if you go over the limit by more than 2 mph. and obviously take the speed limit off motorways.

if you are speeding then you are a criminal and deserve to be fined

"speed limit off motorways"

It's not a fucking racetrack! Accidents dont have to be caused by kids grabbing balls from busy streets. Blow-outs, bad weather, falling asleep at the wheel? What about those? You dont think that these will be a little more fatal when some cunt smashes into the back of your motor at 100 when you finally come to a stop after playing pinball with the central reservation?

German autobahns have a much lower accident rate than us. they dont have a speed limit

normal traffic law-abiding citizen like 95% of the countries population

this is only true if you also:

take the speed limit off motorways

else about 5% of motorists on the motorway are law-abiding.

(obviously it depends on the motorway - M25 doesn't count)

To be honest its not the speed cameras that piss me off as much as the traffic light cameras do.

I mean have you seen the timing of those fuckers!?
You approach them at normal speed then all of a sudden bosh! They change.....bollox!

I am not a speeder, apart from if I am on an open road (major) and dont have anyone around me, then I put my foot down and burn it.
Roof down, wind in hair....lovin it!

It's not a fucking racetrack!

The 70mph limit was put in a long time ago, when driving at 70 was a lot more dangerous. i wonder what the chances of death are like for crashes at 100 against crashes at 70 - of course, the autobahns do better than us.

my black box idea still stands. and people could be charged depending on how much they drive too. then if you dont use the roads you dont pay for them

Also there is the obvious danger of hitting 88 mph

then you get to your destination 30 years before you left home. that's gotta be a bonus. the petrol will be cheaper too.

chandler: i like that idea

back to the congestion charging - not good right now, since it's causing tube hell. loads more people on the tube and loads more people parking just outside the zone, causing parking-rage (i witnessed a bunch of drivers swearing at each other alot while queuing for a carpark in farringdon this morning - quite funny)

the petrol will be cheaper too

unless you go back to the wild west - then you'd need to use a train to get enough speed

Yep agree 70mph is old news....thats when cars couldnt go much faster!
If you crash at 70mph...your probably dead, if your crash at 100mph, your probably dead.....the difference?

Most accidents are caused by crap drivers, crap drivers will be crap no matter what speed there at!

or you could use the other delorean, the one that the doc left there in the cave but that might cause problems with paradoxes

Just off subject slightly, at the end of part 3 the doc goes to see Marty in his new bitchin train. What I want to know is why he went to the furture to get a hover conversion first. Surely he's just showing off. "Look Marty, you've fucked the Delorian but I've got a flying train!"

of course that is the only reason. he's a damned show off.

and then he went off and started menacing toon town.

Ah, but at one stage, the doc (Emmett Brown, not Dre) converts the Delorian to run on rubbish (I refuse to use the word Garbage), prompting a certain forthcoming Rubbish tax.

P.S. dont worry, bobby hoskins will sort that doctor out.

he played yet another doctor in that Wit programme with the woman dying fo cancer. that was sad.

what if bobby hoskins is busy messing with the mind of Sam Lowry in Brazil

"What I want to know is why he went to the future to get a hover conversion first"

easy - the train could *only just* manage get get fast enough on straight, level track to travel through time, so the first thing to do was to take it to the future and get it sorted so that it would be able to travel again.

imagine, if he'd taken the train to 85 and not been able to get it to 88mph again - then they'd all be stuck!

And he was 'Pieces palameri' in the legendary "Things to do in Denver when your dead"

Why didn't he just increase the power running to the Flux Capacitor, thereby lowering the time-travel threshold to a speed easier to attain.

he didnt want to burn it out cos that would REALY suck

If he had gone back to '85 first I'm sure he would've been able to beef the train up so it could get up to 88 easily. They still had the flat, straight track and moreso as the bridge was finished. It was all to do with showing off.

[removed by cal]

I think that Livingstone is 100% right in introducing the charge, i'm glad that there is finally someone will the balls to do it.

Too many times I have seen arguments from people who complain about the charge when they can easily get to work using public transport.

All you are doing is destroying the environment for your own personal gain.. People like this as scum.

Amen.

"They still had the flat, straight track and moreso as the bridge was finished"

but they needed about 15 minutes to get the train up to speed and, as we saw, there were much faster trains using the track. there would have been no opertunity, even if the train didn't get smashed by another train straight away.

Plus, he never used the hover conversion to get back from the future to '85 as the train came in on the tracks. It all goes to prove that he could've gone to make sure Marty was ok and let him know that he was intending to do a bit of time-travelling before going off and poncing around in the future. Plus he could've inlisted Marty's help to beef the train up. And if his kids were born by then (I forget if they were born in the 1800's or not) they wouldve been able to listen to great 80s music.

james - whatever your views are, making personal attacks just makes you look like an idiot

the music thing is true. i hadn't considered that

who was james attacking?

could've gone to make sure Marty was ok

but he could go and check on marty any time, who cares if he waited 5 years or 10, for marty it would be as if doc had turned up right away.

"but they needed about 15 minutes to get the train up to speed"

Not after they beefed it up.

where we're going, we dont need tracks

does anyone feel this conversation has gone of the rails?

Boom boom

"for marty it would be as if doc had turned up right away."

Even if he did turn up straight away from Marty's POV he still knew that he had just thought that sorting his little train out was more important to seeing him. I know I'd be a little upset.

that was a different train wasnt it? just out of interest. cos the original one fell in a ravein.

Yeah, must've been a different train.

unless he got all the bits and put them back together

sod that! I'd just steal another one.

didn't he say that he'd rescused it from the ravine? i can't really remember. can anyone find the script online?

Biff had the right idea, steal the sporting almanac and make a killing at the bookies, damn that do-gooder mcfly!

yeah but biff was a dick

Marty: What the hell?

The three sonic booms are heard and a big train, similar to the one destroyed in 1885, appears. Marty and Jennifer are thrown backwards and land in some grass. The train has ELB written on the side and a familiar figure pokes his head out of the cab.....

Marty: Doc!

Doc: Marty!

Yes, it's Doc. He's wearing smart clothes from the 1890s, including a top hat, and has combed his hair.

Marty: (excitedly) Doc! Doc!

Doc: Marty! It runs on steam!

Doc opens the cab to reveal Clara standing next to him.

Doc: Meet the family. Clara, you know.

Clara: Hi, Marty!

Marty: Ma'am!

Doc: These are our boys!

Doc and Clara smile proudly. A young boy of about 10 appears at the doorway.

Doc: Jules!...

Jules is followed by his younger brother, who's about 7 or 8.

Doc: And Verne! (to his sons) Boys, this is Marty and Jennifer.

The boys wave, and Marty and Jennifer wave back.

Marty: Doc, I thought I'd never see you again!

Doc: You can't keep a good scientist down. After all, I had to come back for Einstein, and, well, I didn't want you to be worried about me.

Clara gives Doc a parcel.

Doc: Oh. I brought you a little souvenir.

Doc sits on the cab steps and gives Marty the parcel. Marty opens it and finds it's a framed photo of him and Doc at the 1885 clocktower.

Marty: It's great Doc. Thanks.

Jennifer: Doctor Brown?

Jennifer takes out the erased fax from her pocket and gives it to Doc.

Jennifer: I brought this note back from the future and...now it's erased!

Doc: Of course it's erased!

Jennifer: But what does that mean?

Doc: It means that your future hasn't been written yet. No one's has. Your future is whatever you make it. So make it a good one. Both of ya!

Marty: We will, Doc!

Doc: Stand back!

The train doors close.

Doc: All right, boys, buckle up!

Marty: Hey, Doc...where ya going now? Back to the future?

Doc shakes his head and smiles.

Doc: Nope. Already been there!

Doc and family wave at Marty and Jennifer, and they wave back. Then the train's wheels lift up - it's been hover converted! The train flies off, turns around and heads towards the camera before breaking the time barrier.

Cut to a black screen, it's.....

THE END

I am scum, I like burning fossil fuels - my car does about 10 to the gallon, its noisy, backfires with all that wasted fuel draining thru the exhaust. I like it.

But hang on, my car is 34 years old.... I dont contribute to the modern motor manufaturers, who burn a fuck load more fossil fuels than I can. I dont willingly give them money for a peice of metal with rubber bits.

Still, I can live with being scum. Its all about thinking things tru before making an informed decision.

Autobahns work because Germans have a better sense of lane disciplin than your average scum in the UK.

That does look like a random string of thoughts?

No worse than most of the shit being posted at the moment.

no one has congratulated me for typing the end of the third back to the future film, by hand, from memory.

you ungrateful gits

Well done chay, you da man whoops etc.

fuck me you done that from memory, you are indeed, the man!

yes from memory. I remembered that copy was CTRL+C and that paste was CTRL+V

:P

from memory? i hope you're lying

cheat!

hahaha oh how I laugh. *grins manically*

"Jennifer: I brought this note back from the future and...now it's erased!"

so why could biff bring an alminac thingy all the way back to 55 without it erasing?

Now that is a spectacularly good point!

well I wouldnt go that far. but I am pretty spectacular I reckon

The whole thing was that Marty had learnt his lesson, that's why the note got erased. The almanac however had the reults of many sporting events in which none of the players (or influences in their lives) would have known to be able to change they way they lived or changed the game.

Where was Jean-Claude Van Damme to sort all this out eh?

I couldnt remember what the note said. so i didnt know whose it was or what it said.

It said:

2 eggs
Lynx Africa (not Alaska)
6 cans of Kestrel
Tabs
Budgie Sandpaper
Apples
Cabbage
Tampax for Mum
Anusol

I cut and pasted this from the script as well.

Fucking hell, if he's drinking Kestrel at that age no wonder hes got parkinsons.

Of course you did

thats a bit nasty Vicky.

and at that age he was well into his twentys

That reminds me of that Ali G quote, "Muhammed Ali is a great man but he's never been the same since he went on that 'Parkinson' Chat show"

Jean-Claude Van Damme was in a jungle in strict martial arts training to avenge his brother

Whats the point of being a Timecop(tm) if you are late for important events?

i dont know, you cant count on anyone these days

appart from the ghostbusters

Who you gonna call?

RAY PARKER JUNIOR!

lol

well, considering the above(well, mainly just the topic, so not a reply to the great back to the future posts etc), I should post

this. Im quite happy with the charge actually, I dont have to pay it and I get around london more easily now. :)

nice work :)

except i keep reading it as "Fings" like "Things" rather than like Fines

me too, but I thought I should keep the myashalumbabumba G in there for continuity.
reversing my opine of the congestion charge only one day later, bastard cunting feckers on my train have now quadrupled, and its' still half term. woe!

you should have swapped the g and the n around so it doesnt read as fings, instead figns... THEN it would have been funny. but only then.
this was funny too

Hehehe... both of those images are superb! :)