Discussion » Wierdest Thing Ever

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Posted by Grim..., 17:48, 10th March 2003:
 
Okay, my girlfriend is in her final year of Theatre Studies at Uni.

She's in this play, right.
Now, they're performing on Tuesday (tomorrow) so they were rehearsing in a theatre on Saturday when I turned up, walked in quietly and sat near the back.

Now, in the script, it calls for my girlfriend 'to be taken against her will'.

So I'm sitting there, watching my girlfried getting laid across a table and 'done' by this guy that I don't know.

This, it has to be said, was a bloody strange experience.

And it gets worse.

After about 10 seconds of fighting it, the script says that she should start enjoying it.

Watching your girlfriend shagging (or, at least, pretending to shag) some guy you don't know, and being very vocal about it, and knowing that it's okay is soooooo wierd.

It get's worse!

Strange guy suddenly grabs her t-shirt and tears it off! Then some little director woman sitting at the front says "Paul, you have to tear the bra off at the same time!".

Fortunatly, Paul accomplishes this successfully on his second go.

So, there's me, and several other people, watching my half naked girlfriend fake an orgasm.

And I'm sitting there thinking "Um... Can you take your hand's off my girlfriends boobs please?" and THEN, worse, I start thinking that his hands must be smaller than mine because they don't cover up as much of her tits as mine do.

AND THEN!!!!

A guy sitting close to me leans over and says "This is the third time I've come to watch this and this part is the only reason."

!!!!!!!!!

So I punched him =]
Posted by chandler, 17:50, 10th March 2003:
 
hahaha
I assume you didnt punch him
Posted by chandler, 17:50, 10th March 2003:
 
what is the name of the play?
Posted by Redmaiden, 18:05, 10th March 2003:
 
ooh dear :-S
Posted by jeffld, 18:34, 10th March 2003:
 
That is very disturbing. I have had some hair curling experiences too.

I was dating this girl many many years ago.. (about 15 years ago) and I dated her for about a year and them she tells me that she is a lesbian. I was young and stupid. We never did have a physical relationship. I was too shy to bring it to the next level. She didnt have a car so she had me drive her to see her "girlfriends". I didn't know it at the time, but she was actually cheating on me the whole time. She would send me out to get food or cigarettes or something so that she could have a little interlude..

You would think that something like this would scar a man for life, but I'm ok. I've had several girlfriends since then..
Posted by beargod, 18:44, 10th March 2003:
 
Dude the play thing would make me go mad and kill the audience and everyone else in that room, And i would say die like Cage at the end of Face off
Posted by jeffld, 19:12, 10th March 2003:
 
You are a better man than me.

I would not be so open minded about my girlfriend being in a play like that.

As for punching the guy, I wouldn't have punched the guy. violence is not my thing, I'm kinda a wuss in that area.
Posted by Gary, 21:23, 10th March 2003:
 
I could probably watch it knowing that the whole thing was just two people acting, but seeing some other guy with his hands on my girls breasts and enjoying it (and despite the fact they were acting, I bet he was enjoying it), well... I think I would have a problem dealing with that...
Posted by Grim..., 08:52, 11th March 2003:
 
It was very strange - however I don't have that much of a problem with it.
The play is called, er, 313 Exercise Final, or something (in other words, it doesn't have a name).
As for the guy, what I didn't make clear above is that he was suggesting that the girlfriend was the sort of girl that would go out trying to get raped in order to get laid.
Night, then.
Posted by Victor Menendez, 09:20, 11th March 2003:
 
Good work grim!
Posted by arsepuppy, 11:55, 11th March 2003:
 
If it was my girlfriend I would be a bit freaked out, although I do appreciate the whole acting aspect and that, the possibility of the bloke enjoying himself would make me feel a bit odd.

Although I would be able to say to myself "Well I can do that all the time. And do other stuff too!" (like tickle her feet or summat, I don't know).
Posted by Victor Menendez, 11:58, 11th March 2003:
 
Although i have to say what kind of play is it where the necessary drama can't be achieved without a gratuitous 'Grims girlfriends tits out' scene, we are talking university drama here, not 'Naked Lunch'

P.S. when is the next rehearsal ;)
Posted by beargod, 12:00, 11th March 2003:
 
I would still kill people
Posted by RUSS, 12:03, 11th March 2003:
 
i dont think they should do that kind of thing in crappy student type theatres because all it is, is the man fondling your misses and obviously getting gratification and other students coming to look at her knockers! if it was in a big film or on a proper stage it may be fair enough but never would i let a lady of mine do that type of show in nowheresville. you was right to spank the geezer, but he was right to say it to, cause that is the only reason people would watch the show
Posted by incratia, 12:16, 11th March 2003:
 
I agree with Russ. No offense but if there was a play with nude men in it, i would go watch it & if they were fit men maybe i would go watch it twice!!!
Posted by plindoe, 13:07, 11th March 2003:
 
I would be funny about my misses being in it, but probably would bite my tongue and let her do it if it was going to futher her carear. BUT the guy next to me saying that would of had a 'plindoe knuckle sandwich', fucking perv, go buy some porn!

Maybe it is because it is my misses, but every woman that is stared at in porn movies/jazz mags is someones daughter/wife/girlfriend, so are we not all as bad as the prick? (not defending him, he still woulda got twated!)
Posted by arsepuppy, 13:09, 11th March 2003:
 
good point.
Posted by Victor Menendez, 13:10, 11th March 2003:
 
Not a good point, Grim, its your duty to go back to that play and turn it into the fucking wild bunch.
Posted by RUSS, 13:11, 11th March 2003:
 
but that is porn and this is theatre "darling"
Posted by RUSS, 13:12, 11th March 2003:
 
yeah lob chairs and everything!
Posted by Grim..., 13:32, 11th March 2003:
 
It's not "nowhereville", and it's not a shitty student play - it's sold out all 300 tickets ranging in price from £5 to £35.
I'd also like to point out that I thought it was fucking good (even taking what happens into account) - it's not like she's done it before (I think).

I guess the simple reason is that I trust her, but it was very strange.

And to Russ and incratia: I'm assuming you haven't read the whole thread when you say that you agree with the bloke sat close to me, or I will find out where you live, come around to your houses, and tear your fucking faces off.
Posted by Grim..., 13:33, 11th March 2003:
 
Ah, but Incratia's a girl, so I can't do that :o/

You and me, RUSS ;o)
Posted by RUSS, 13:39, 11th March 2003:
 
you and who's army, sir ?

a dual at dawn with pistols is all that can resolve this ;-)

apologies for misunderstanding.
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 13:39, 11th March 2003:
 
I have read the whole thread and:

I wouldnt have a problem with my g/f doing this but i wouldnt go and see it. I also agree that the person next to Grim needed a good skelp.

Thats all.
Posted by Grim..., 13:44, 11th March 2003:
 
Why wouldn't you go and see it?
She was bloody good, I was proud of her.

Russ!
Come on then son!
Sod your girlie pistols, let's get our fists bruised!
Karate, Tae Kwon Doe or Kickboxing, you choose, I'm graded in all three =]

Okay.
Posted by Victor Menendez, 13:48, 11th March 2003:
 
RUSS, do you need a champion?
Posted by RUSS, 13:51, 11th March 2003:
 
i'm to good at all these, you can fight my number 1

go for it vic!

anyway pistols is a gentlemans fight
Posted by Victor Menendez, 13:55, 11th March 2003:
 
Lets go then big boy!
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 13:58, 11th March 2003:
 
Because i would get all green eyed, and i hate that...so to save myself from that, i wouldnt go. I am not saying that i wouldnt be proud, just that i wouldnt like to see my g/f with her tits out and some geezer fondling them.

but that is just me.
Posted by Josh Wank, 14:18, 11th March 2003:
 
Sorry but I would not have my bird sitting on a table with her tits bobbing up and down in the air with some pr*ck rubbing em and meanwhile having a boner on.....surely she could have asked for it to be a little less graphic?? Or maybe she likes the fella and doesnt mind him rubbing her tits??

I mean if they are at Uni together then maybe they already know eachother pretty well....I dunno....
Posted by Victor Menendez, 14:19, 11th March 2003:
 
looks like we're off the hook russ.
Posted by RUSS, 14:20, 11th March 2003:
 
hmmmm
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 14:21, 11th March 2003:
 
oh-ho
Posted by Josh Wank, 14:21, 11th March 2003:
 
no seriously, I mean I am 100% certain that if my GF was asked to do that at Uni she would refuse....I mean each to there own and that but it depends on whether the girl herself is comfatable about having her tits rubbed by another person (not her BF) in public. And if she is comfatable with it then I would be even more worried, but again thats just my view.
Posted by beargod, 15:12, 11th March 2003:
 
I don't think i would like it, but some people do, some people even get off on their girlfriends being fondled, like tracy shaws hubby, he goes and watches it and asks people what they think of her body.

Everyones different but i would stand by the door and srab everyone whilst they are leaving.
Posted by Victor Menendez, 15:20, 11th March 2003:
 
Another pitcher steps up to the mound, grim prepares to take a big swing.
Posted by Grim..., 15:32, 11th March 2003:
 
It's alright.
Being a 13 year old I know that Josh there has never had a girlfriend or seen a real pair of tits so it's okay.
He'll understand one day.

Or should I find his house and hurt him?
Posted by Victor Menendez, 15:34, 11th March 2003:
 
OOOFFFFF, home run!
Posted by RUSS, 15:37, 11th March 2003:
 
i dont mean to be rude, i am trying to build a mental image of the scene, has your misses got big knockers/nipples?
Posted by arsepuppy, 15:38, 11th March 2003:
 
This is turning into a big "who can dig themselves a deeper hole" contest. I'm saying nowt.
Posted by jlittle, 15:44, 11th March 2003:
 
I have to say, Although I don't directly agree with Josh's post, I would certainly not feel great if my bird was getting groped by another male, in the name of acting or not.
Posted by beargod, 15:51, 11th March 2003:
 
That is what I meant, by killing, I seem to be obssessed with killing today,

you could invent a door that has cutting things on it that will kill people when they walk through it.

Although if it wasn't my girlfriend I would be watching and maybe enjoying the play if it is as good as you say it is. I like plays.
Posted by Grim..., 17:28, 11th March 2003:
 
Russ - yes she does.
Bumdog - No-one's digging a hole, I posted to let you know it was a really strange experience, not that I had to kill anyone. The only people things that piss me off is people suggesting the woo-man must be a slag or something for this to be going on.
BearGod - It's very good, and quite scary.
Posted by angel_mouse, 19:54, 11th March 2003:
 
a little late on this post. as usual:
grim: its theatre- dont read any deeper in to it.
Josh Wank- by name by nature. go away.
Posted by Gary, 20:07, 11th March 2003:
 
Josh Wank- by name by nature. go away.

Ouch!
Posted by angel_mouse, 20:53, 11th March 2003:
 
gary: have you not read the rest of this thread?!? actually, i take that as a compliment, so cheers.
Posted by Gary, 00:05, 12th March 2003:
 
Actually, I have read the thread. All of it in fact. Don't read anything other than humour into the "Ouch!" though, I should have put a smilie on the end of it - I thought your comment was rather funny! :)
Posted by chris, 00:08, 12th March 2003:
 
Gary, you are the most misunderstood person here my friend ;)
Posted by Gary, 00:19, 12th March 2003:
 
So true, Chris, so true! ;)
Posted by chris, 00:26, 12th March 2003:
 
you all see how useful smilies are?
Posted by Gary, 00:38, 12th March 2003:
 
Indeed.
Posted by Victor Menendez, 09:11, 12th March 2003:
 
Careful gary, we have information suggesting that 'chris' might be cal in disguise.
Posted by Josh Wank, 09:46, 12th March 2003:
 
Hmmmm some people comments about me really do hurt me, really they do! ha ha ha

Look I can say what I like and I personally wouldnt have my bird getting her bangers out and loving it on a table in front of everyone....I mean when she walks round the Uni all the fellas must be giving it "Hey theres that bird with the big tits, she loves it" Come on we all know its true. Everyone (blokes) does it!
Im not trying to be a wanker I am just telling it how it is.....thats just the way I am.

Grim, I like the comment about finding my house, thats quite funny!

Angel mouse....dont ya like my name?? I thought it was quite good, oh well.....
Posted by Victor Menendez, 09:53, 12th March 2003:
 
Yawn
Posted by Josh Wank, 09:56, 12th March 2003:
 
Come on Victor, are we all meant to agree with eachother on here and lick eachothers balls? I thought this place was somewhere where everyone airs there views and everyone is judged fairly, unless they make outrageous comments - which I am not!
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 09:56, 12th March 2003:
 
yadda yadda
Posted by Victor Menendez, 10:03, 12th March 2003:
 
Blah Blah
Posted by Josh Wank, 10:04, 12th March 2003:
 
pathetic losers!
Posted by Victor Menendez, 10:06, 12th March 2003:
 
Snore
Posted by Josh Wank, 10:08, 12th March 2003:
 
Right I am boring so I will go now, and leave you very interesting people to keep making friends over the internet.....OH DEAR!!

Good luck boys, you never know you might actually fall in love or something....
Posted by Victor Menendez, 10:09, 12th March 2003:
 
Tum Te Tum etc.
Posted by Gary, 11:35, 12th March 2003:
 
Careful gary, we have information suggesting that 'chris' might be cal in disguise.

Really?! It can't be Cal because his first post in this thread started with a capital letter. :P

But the second post, however, doesn't. Hmm... you might be on to something there, Victor! :o
Posted by Grim..., 12:20, 12th March 2003:
 
(Two posts late)
::drums fingers::
(sorry)
Posted by arsepuppy, 12:51, 12th March 2003:
 
Grim... - I didn't mean you digging a hole, just that some of us were with our responses. They could easily be taken out of context and all.
Posted by ilovebeerme, 12:57, 12th March 2003:
 
Anybody who says "and I personally wouldnt have my bird getting her bangers out and loving it on a table in front of everyone" needs help.
Posted by beargod, 13:01, 12th March 2003:
 
tahts a good point, i thought bangers were sausages and not breasts?
Posted by Grim..., 13:31, 12th March 2003:
 
I heard of Baps and boobs, whaps, melons, and tits, gazoonga's and mammas, but never Bangers...
Posted by ilovebeerme, 13:35, 12th March 2003:
 
you missed hooters :)
Posted by Victor Menendez, 13:36, 12th March 2003:
 
And Puppies (with little wet noses)
Posted by arsepuppy, 13:42, 12th March 2003:
 
Ding-dongs?
Posted by Victor Menendez, 13:43, 12th March 2003:
 
Dirty pillows?
Posted by arsepuppy, 13:44, 12th March 2003:
 
Top bollocks?
Posted by arsepuppy, 13:44, 12th March 2003:
 
Shirt potatoes?
Posted by arsepuppy, 13:45, 12th March 2003:
 
Boy pleasers?
Funbags?
Posted by plindoe, 13:47, 12th March 2003:
 
jubblies?
Posted by arsepuppy, 13:48, 12th March 2003:
 
norks?
Posted by arsepuppy, 13:48, 12th March 2003:
 
lulus?
Posted by arsepuppy, 13:50, 12th March 2003:
 
I knew someone who called them "chin-rests". Of course, it relied on the whole "a woman is like a violin" metaphor.
Posted by arsepuppy, 13:50, 12th March 2003:
 
...which doesn't really work
Posted by Victor Menendez, 13:53, 12th March 2003:
 
not really, but still.

Hooters?
Posted by plindoe, 13:55, 12th March 2003:
 
hemispherical emenances?

(forgive my shite spelling)
Posted by arsepuppy, 13:55, 12th March 2003:
 
Copper's Hats
Posted by Victor Menendez, 13:56, 12th March 2003:
 
happy sacks?
Posted by arsepuppy, 13:56, 12th March 2003:
 
Monkey Eyes
Posted by Victor Menendez, 13:56, 12th March 2003:
 
Slate layers nail-bags?
Posted by arsepuppy, 13:57, 12th March 2003:
 
Watford Blancmanges
Posted by arsepuppy, 13:59, 12th March 2003:
 
Leather Earmuffs (for the discerning Granny Banger)
Posted by beargod, 14:01, 12th March 2003:
 
thats where the banger comes from
Posted by cal, 18:54, 12th March 2003:
 
that's quite a list:

Baps
boobs
whaps
melons
tits
gazoonga's
mammas
hooters :)
Puppies
Ding-dongs?
Dirty pillows?
Top bollocks?
Shirt potatoes?
Boy pleasers?
Funbags?
jubblies?
norks?
lulus?
chin-rests
hemispherical emenances?
Copper's Hats
happy sacks?
Monkey Eyes
Slate layers nail-bags?
Watford Blancmanges
Leather Earmuffs

can anyone add to it? "breasts" perhaps?
Posted by Grim..., 19:50, 12th March 2003:
 
Ooh! Ooh!

Mammeries
Wobblers

I always thought happy sacks were balls.
Dirty-pillows comes from the book Carrie.
Posted by Redmaiden, 19:52, 12th March 2003:
 
bubbies

a fashionable term used in Victorian times I do believe
Posted by plindoe, 08:40, 13th March 2003:
 
Rack
Tittoirs
pillows
Posted by RUSS, 08:44, 13th March 2003:
 
bristols
Posted by arsepuppy, 09:19, 13th March 2003:
 
Depeche Modes
Posted by Victor Menendez, 09:21, 13th March 2003:
 
How did we miss 'Jugs'?
Posted by arsepuppy, 10:19, 13th March 2003:
 
Terry Nutkins's Safety Cups
Posted by chandler, 10:20, 13th March 2003:
 
hahahahaaa
Posted by plindoe, 10:26, 13th March 2003:
 
Indeed RedAndWhiteMan, erm I mean Vic, how did we miss 'Jugs'?
Posted by Victor Menendez, 10:26, 13th March 2003:
 
Yawn.
Posted by Sul, 10:28, 13th March 2003:
 
And knockers, how'd that get missed
Posted by Sul, 10:41, 13th March 2003:
 
Stonkers
Posted by plindoe, 10:47, 13th March 2003:
 
Whoppers!
Posted by arsepuppy, 10:47, 13th March 2003:
 
Jizz Targets.
Posted by chandler, 10:49, 13th March 2003:
 
oh dear
Posted by toughseedstakeroot, 10:50, 13th March 2003:
 
udders?
Posted by plindoe, 10:51, 13th March 2003:
 
Coffee Stains (although that is refering to the nipple part)
Posted by plindoe, 10:51, 13th March 2003:
 
Burgers (again, as above)
Posted by RUSS, 11:01, 13th March 2003:
 
digestive biscuits
Posted by arsepuppy, 11:02, 13th March 2003:
 
oh dear

hehe. Had to drag it into the gutter somehow ;)
Posted by arsepuppy, 11:03, 13th March 2003:
 
Coffee Stains (although that is refering to the nipple part)

Surely you mean the areola? (the pigented skin around the actual nipple?)
Posted by plindoe, 11:06, 13th March 2003:
 
Nope I mean the bit you suck on baby!



(sorry for going to the gutter again!)
Posted by plindoe, 11:08, 13th March 2003:
 
(Mostly) Useless lumps of fat men get so much enjoyment out of!
Posted by arsepuppy, 11:08, 13th March 2003:
 
Damn straight.
Posted by Grim..., 17:35, 13th March 2003:
 
Tits rule.
If you're feeling blue, boobs can always cheer you up.
Posted by jeff, 20:44, 13th March 2003:
 
*looks down at my boobs* nope, that didnt work. does that only apply to guys then?
Posted by beargod, 21:13, 13th March 2003:
 
Yep looking at your tits I can say I am much happier
Posted by jeff, 22:23, 13th March 2003:
 
you havent seen them... there isnt much to see... and i have an odd rash at the moment...
Posted by Redmaiden, 23:05, 13th March 2003:
 
my tits cheer me up :-D
Posted by chandler, 23:44, 13th March 2003:
 
your tits could cheer me up to.
Posted by Redmaiden, 00:52, 14th March 2003:
 
anytime
Posted by chandler, 09:10, 14th March 2003:
 
yay
Posted by arsepuppy, 09:54, 14th March 2003:
 
Tits Rock!
Posted by arsepuppy, 09:54, 14th March 2003:
 
Rocks Tit!
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 09:56, 14th March 2003:
 
tits are fabulous!
Posted by Victor Menendez, 10:01, 14th March 2003:
 
Its fun to charter an accountant!
Posted by Grim..., 13:37, 14th March 2003:
 
Tits are Blue!
Posted by arsepuppy, 13:39, 14th March 2003:
 
One Love.... For The Mother's Pride!
Posted by ilovebeerme, 13:42, 14th March 2003:
 
I love tits me.
Posted by arsepuppy, 13:46, 14th March 2003:
 
We all love tits.....errr....us.
Posted by bored at work, 14:18, 14th March 2003:
 
I prefer minge (sorry)
Posted by chandler, 14:26, 14th March 2003:
 
heehee
Posted by arsepuppy, 14:27, 14th March 2003:
 
Minge is good when clean. Dirty minge tastes like arse sweat smells. This is a problem which I find mostly affects blonde girls.
Posted by Victor Menendez, 14:36, 14th March 2003:
 
*bump*
Posted by chandler, 14:36, 14th March 2003:
 
yay
Posted by chandler, 14:37, 14th March 2003:
 
making up for your bad behaviour vicky?
Posted by Victor Menendez, 14:47, 14th March 2003:
 
not for you, you hate me (bitch)
Posted by arsepuppy, 14:47, 14th March 2003:
 
tits! yay!
Posted by arsepuppy, 14:48, 14th March 2003:
 
I do apologise to all blonde girls as well. Sorry you lot!
Posted by Vegita, 00:40, 18th June 2003:
 
thats freaking.. I can deal with my gf performing for the sake of school, but anything out of line and I'd pitch a tent with their organs
Posted by Grim..., 08:51, 18th June 2003:
 
Oh good, this again =/
Posted by jlittle, 09:06, 18th June 2003:
 
u still with the same bird Grim?
Posted by Grim..., 13:56, 18th June 2003:
 
Yes - have been for six years now...
Posted by jlittle, 14:06, 18th June 2003:
 
thats good then