Loads of books and information on the animals we sell. ALL the animals we sell that is. Up to date and current publications too, none of these 70's hamsters :). A couple of Internet terminals with links to info pages about rats, chipmunks, hamsters etc. Also big boards with info and pictures on pets sold from our shop. Contact details of owners who don't mind chatting about their pets.
Staff who actually know how to dress themselves and don't drool. A reading area where you can have a coffee and find out about what you plan to buy. Presentations shall be given here about the animals we sell and how to care for them with special presentations every so often,, you know for the kids. Lions and tigers and bears O my! However, the presentations shall be legal and done by proffessionals and vets and not idiots.
A minimum cage size of about two feet square (for dwarf hamsters) cause if thats to big then you get no pet. Sorry. Also a small partitioned area at the back where you can have a cage built to your own spec. Again staff with the know how so for example you get a wire floor for your Chinchilla which is essential but you don't get a wire floor for your rats which will lead to them losing toes and dying.
Decent toys and stuff for the animals. You get these in the states so why not here?
Animals set up in big cages so people can see how they should live and what they need (my rats have volunteered for this). You can even bring your kids in at a pre-arranged time and let them help me clean the cages so they can see what it will be like.
Animals that are sexed properly.
Nice one.
And we'll sell dinosaurs and have topless playboy bunnies to masterbate you as you pay.
Posted by
cal, 16:01, 25th March 2003:
sounds like a nice place to work
Well it would be if it wasn't for the insane robot security guard and the pits full of punji stakes smeared with human faeces.
Can I buy Goat-dogs from there too?
Posted by
Sul, 18:36, 25th March 2003:
I'm not sexed properly :(
Posted by
Grim..., 08:41, 26th March 2003:
Do you sell Arse Puppies?
Yes we have many goat-dogs and arse puppies. I think you'll forget about them when you see our latest fancy product though.....
Small Dogs with Giant heads and Giant Dogs with Small Heads!
Yes folks thats right, everybody's best friend now comes in a new mis-sized head variety! What could be more fun? Laugh as your Yorkie drags it's massive head along the ground and chortle as your Great Dane has trouble drinking. Fun for all the family.
Optional 'three leg' upgrade is available for even more hilarity. Watch as your monoplegic mutt streaks across the landscape it's back leg a blur of left to right action. All for the bargain price of £59.99.
Shop smart, shop s-mart.