4.20am on Saturday morning and the beerman is in deep slumber after watching the Ring movies all night long. Slowly drifting into conciousness I realised that the scraping noise in my dream is infact coming from the wall directly behind my head. Que beerman gettign all freaked out and thinking Sadoka (?) had come to get him!
As I gathered my wits I told my girlfriend there was something scraping in the walls. She told me I was mad and to go away. I got up and went through to the study. All three rats stared at me through the darkness, eyes seeming to say 'we know whats wrong' but in reality just saying 'feed us'.
My foray into the kitchen ws not so happy. There open like a vicous wound on the kitchen table was the door to the hamster cage. It had been shut at bedtime. But she does tend to chew on that clasp like crazy. The little guy, so perfectly named Marvin by none other than Cal, was gone.....
I put the cage down on the floor and placed a few strategic chocolates around. Set up nest boxes in both bathrooms and hoped for the best. My girlfriend was awfully upset.
About 6.45 I got up to go to work thinking it was 7.45. I opened the kitchen door tea towel in hand and came to face to face with.........MARVIN! She stopped mid stuffing chocolate in her gob, mentally screamed @OH FUCKKKKKKKK' and bolted. Beerman sprang into action like a tired man shaped gazelle, a tea towel went spinning through the air like a balled up piece of cloth before landing perfectly over the only hamster sized escape route. Marvin met my eye and we sized each other up. This was not going to be easy....
She dodged left and headed for the bin, claws clacking like mad on the floor. Beerman lept through the air and intercepted before a bid could be made for releative safety under the kitchen table. Marvin saw she had underestimated her opponent and retreated into a cardboard tube! CHECK MATE. Using my cunningly placed hands I picked up the tube at both ends and put it back into the cage. The offending door was tied shut and with mutal respect the weary warriors left the field of battle for well earned rest. This had been a day for heroes.
In recognition of her desire to be free and spirited attempt at escape Marvin was rewarded with a new cage on Saturday. It has four large tanks and about 6 or 7 metres of tubes spiraling and corkscrewing through the air to link them. She can make a complete circuit in about 2 minutes. We have lost the kitchen table now as this hamster palace takes up the whole thing! Total hamster piece of mind and bits were priced wrong so we got the lot for £100 instead of £130. Nice one.
What did I get I hear you ask? Hell, I don't need anything I can handle it. I tell you though, there is respect in that rodents eyes.
There's a rat in my kitchen what am i gonna do?
Theres a rat in my kitchen what am i gonna do?
I'm gonna fix that rat thats what im gonna do,
I'm gonna fix that rat!
Posted by
chandler, 16:49, 14th April 2003:
hahhahahahhahahahha ahah ahaha hahaahhaahah haa
ahem :D
very good... I am getting pictures in my head!!
send in a picture of the hampster cage...
That was awesome. Glad you caught her and placed her back in her home.
I used to have pet hamsters they're bastards, they do this all the time - there is a more cunning & dignified trap that I've used, you build a ladder out of books next to a bucket or similar that hamster can't climb out of, and put something very delicious in the bucket. They're not very bright.
but that was a very entertaining story :)