iamcal.com Since May 2000

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• Hello!

I'm aiming to have a social beverage after my hours of work tomorrow evening in the London area.

As planning things too far in advance dont work very well who would like to join me now?

(I cant promise any hardcore tramp action but I'll see what I can do)

I would do if I could be bothered

fuck ya then :p

ok

I might be able to make it. (no surprises there)

surely you're busy with your non-stop social life?

who me?

:)

yes you
"not me"
then who?
"Cal's too busy with his non-stop social life"

ah ok, we just knock around with the tramps.

Well if its just us three we'll have an almost decent chat up line. As we come from the north, middle and south of the country we can approch a bird and ask her "top, middle or bottom?"

This is the reason I'm single isnt it?

one of the reasons.

depends on the type of girl, if its a skanky one she will probably pick all three points of entry, at the same time

i am distrubed yet intrigued

well you get the middle one cal

Woohoo I get the bottom. Now that would be striking it lucky :)

Or striking it mucky.

Do you have to be skanky to apply ?
Oh London Folks, pity I'm not in London ...

Sul, may i remind you that if cal has "the middle" and you get the bottom then you will be either side of the girl. and well it doesnt bear thinking about

MIKI!!!!!! OMG

I cant believe miki said that. I mean I know shes Dutch but jeeeez.

:D

the mental image i have now is VERY dirturbing

It is rather rude

only if it happens, and since no-one is responging to the 'offer' I'm going home alone

yeah but no-one said no to the offer

Ignoring a girl is answer enough :D

hehe

O_o

Miki, you are seriously concerned that no-one is taking you up on your 4some offer? Are all Dutch girls this promiscuous (sp)?

she was saying to me that she would do it "with the right GUYS"

Respect to Miki :)

she was also telling me she was naked at work, but i think she was lying

she wasnt naked, she was wearing knee high boots

oh yeah for got them

I'm off home.

c u all later.

have fun those ppl who are out on the piss tonight.

xxxx

it's tomorrow night i think?

Yes it is.... I hope

So are we drinking tonight or what?

Damn-fucking-right bitch!

Where would we like to go?

london?

If it was south london I may, but may not

as soon as i move you have a piss up ;(

London it is. Where bouts in London? Its been ages sone I drank up near where you work Cal. Name a pub.

Beargod. How south exactly? I'm TATE territory SE1. Also known as STATE territory.

James: Yeah, it was planned that way ;)

sone? been drinking already? ;)

I don't know I am a cheapskate and can't be bothered to get into Lndon, well not too far. The train goes to Charring Cross or waterloo. and I probably won't go anyway, so make plans and if i fit in then i may come

fuck you then :)

Shit, London's not that far for me by train.

sul: no idea. don't ever go to pubs. i'm right near leicster square and covent garden...

ap: you coming then?

dunno, always a chance. Found out I'm not going to Leicester tonight so who knows? Chances are though I'll be too wrecked to come though. Friday night is binge night at the old Brothel.

Oh, I forgot you moved offices. West end it is then.

"Oh facking 'ell, we're goin' up west int we, oh facking 'ell"

Leicster Square weatherspoons? Cheap booze, probably packed, ideal don't you think?

fine by me.

sounds like a plan

i hope to be in the pub opposite my work in about an hour and 10 (or 5 mins after my boss leaves, whichever is soonest) what time are we talking about?

I dont finish til 6 and it'll take me around 15 mins to get there so 6:15 for me.

Cal?

I'll get to waterloo for six and hang around looking sinister then.

also, have you seen this? sul?

Eeek. I'm a slacker.

Ok then hang around waterloo looking sinister then

Callum?

Its scary how I am still catching up to you all

why dont you catch up to us in Leicester square you big nancy?

cos I am a country folk and London scares the bajeebus out of me

bajee bus - is that some form of indian takeaway transportation?

probably, I will try it later

Leicester square at 6:15 is good for me

country? i thought you lived in tonbridge! that's enough to scare anyone! ;P

true, I came from Heathfield though in the country of Sussex, I have only moved to Tonbridge, people in Tonbridge scare me

right, off to the pub, see you at six sul, six-fifteen cal, the rest off you who can't be arse to show *whatever*

Still dunno what I'm doing, but it will involve me getting wrecked.

come to london!

My choices:

1. Go to London. And get wrecked. (woo!)
2. Go to Oxford. And get wrecked.
3. Go to Leicester to see Mrs. Bumdog (otherwise I won't get to see her for a month. Although her dad's funeral is in a few days so she may need to be with her family and sort it all out)

So it's 1 or 2.

1111111111111111111111 etc,

what he said

Just think of the fun you'll have when people ask, "are you coming to Oxford?" and you say "No, I'm going to meet three blokes who I know from the internet and have never met before"

Thats always fun :)

Noone's asked us how it went :(

how did it went?

i lost this thread, but wanted to ask!

Does that sound odd?

i was wondering why nobody asked


it went well, i think. especially the bit where vic tried to make some guy smoke to use the toilet...

beargod: yes

smoke to use the toilet?

yup, you heard me

ok

Yeah. It went really well. We chatted like old friends. We're great together. We were like the 3 musketeers. Only better. And more pissed. And Vic tried to make some guy smoke to use the toilet...

..which is always good for a laugh

there'll be more iamcal.com action next friday if anyone wants to go

dont overdo it. I dont perform well in big crowds. But if we are having some hardcore iamcal action I'll wear my iamcal boxers. And T-shirt.

woohoo.


(err, i hope you're joking)

Yes. But I wont be after tomorrow night. :D

goddamn burgerking facists, its macd's for me from now on.

i'm pretty sure that macdonalds also have a no smoking policy

they do indeed

maybe so, it seemed a good idea in my drink-addled mind.

random fact: the distance from the doors to the counter of mcdonalds in st albans is further than in any other mcdonalds in the world.

Like you, I went out with people I'd met on the internet (b3tans) on Friday, which was nice.

One of them had some amoosing health warnings on his cigarettes along the lines of these, but better. he's sending me a link to his later, which I'll share if anyone's interested

nice

and yes - interested to see them

is there any particular reason why iamcal has become a rumbling juggernaut of annoyance?

yes cos someone said it

can someone dig up the thread?

but basically, the tag line changes every now and then, usually to something someone posted

i think it was vic who described the riddle thread as a "rumbling 700 post juggernaught of annoyance"

can't remember which thread it was.

it's a nice expression, but it's not how I'd describe it :)

think you can do better?

not the riddles thread, I don't think I've ever actually read that, I meant the site as a whole.

ahh, ok. how would you describe the site as a whole?

www.iamcal.com/topic_2362

and I think not, as my wittiest comments seem to be along the lines of *parp* and *honk* :/

As I lack wit of my own I have cheated & googlismed you (you've probably seen these before, but these never fail to amuse me) I think the first one describes iamcal most accurately, as threads about food always seem to attract immediate and passionate responses:
cal is for people that are serious about their diet
or perhaps:
cal is proud to bring you our exclusive line of diets for reptiles.
also rans:
cal is presented as an honest person but there are always illegal things he does
cal is wide and getting wider
cal is next win victim
cal is coming alive geez
cal is well
cal is a family club participating in social and car related activities
cal is a lesser ira man
cal is the second building on the left
cal is presented as an honest person but there are always illegal things he does
cal is a need
cal is the solution
cal is having some hard time right now
cal is a good way to learn
cal is on your left about 1/3 way down the block
cal is very bored when he is unemployed
cal is a refreshing approach to applying theory to real life ? it re
cal is
cal is self
cal is a blend of oils containing medium
cal is most effective when it compliments lecturers
cal is not only great on the field
cal is not presidential material
cal is not available at a store near you
cal is a humanized monoclonal antibody
cal is one half of the vitality pak®
cal is a liquid chelated compound for foliar or soil application
cal is pioneer in it education for children
cal is a victory for the good guys
cal is very important
cal is a child of the troubles
cal is under pressure to continue working for the irish republican army
cal is the king of mission bay again
cal is to be further developed as a teaching medium then it needs to be seen whether it can be realistically cost effective
cal is proud to bring you our exclusive line of diets for reptiles
cal is one of the most concentrated forms of calcium available in a tablet
cal is a way of learning
cal is identical to the purpose of traditional
cal is that most urban of creatures
cal is a ministry first and foremost

"cal is wide and getting wider"

HAHAHAHA

"sul is available here sorry"

chay is a beast having hands and feet
chay is still asleep
chay is hunting the savage killer of two young boys from his own tribe

:D

there is only one for redmaiden:

redmaiden is being held captive in the dreaded hr "training" room

:S

chay has man tits

look how exciting I am! A heaving mass of contradictions!

kate is a lightlike being of art with dark flaming eyes and strong
kate is the proverbial ''one woman rock band ''
kate is controlled by other characters' actions towards her
kate is a spy
kate is available for instant download
kate is a disaster waiting to happen
kate is not your average super model

I'm going to stop getting overexcited about this and do soe work now, honest.

"100% kitten is really called kate"

100% FACT

it's not a secret ;)

d-oh! I'm meant to be working aren't I?

it was until JUST NOW!

pep just said you live in milton keynes - does she speak the truth?

I live in st albans

im about 2 miles outside milton keynes right now 100% kitten.

ahh. not quite the same, but still down my way. there's quite a string st albans presense here :)

(arsepuppy, moc/lucid, jeff, robbie, etc.)

I've never been to St. Albans. I'm from Wales

yeah but me and Donnie are still the coolest

string?

i just woke up :)

Sul, you'll never believe what happened after we stopped talking last night ;)

ap: are you sure?

Yeah. I know Jeff from Uni. I've met a lot of the Stalbans lot though.

What happened Donnie?

er, not sure i should say in the room man, its kinda wild!

tell me

Does it involve denise?

maaaaybe...lets just say, i might of left my phone in her bag ;)

she stole it then? Rock on man, that is wild!!!

$£%£%^£%$£%%

there's about 4 b3tans who live within a few hundred yards of me, too.
edit:
well, in fact there are 4, but one of them is Mr kitten.

This is shit, i cant meet anyone for a beer!

sure you can. You just have to go on a long train ride.

she didnt steal it

remember when the three of us were talking, and i asked her to look after it while i went to the gents?

she got a call about 1 am ;)

Yeah! great! One of these days i will get digs in London and then i can have a beer with you all.

I'd offer you my sofa but its currently being occupied by my crazy ex.

is she nice looking?

"she got a call about 1 am ;)"

WOW Man, That's fucking mental!!!1

:/

They arent ex's if they ain't crazy!

My ex stays in London and she isnt crazy.

the rest just requires imagination :)

"redmaiden is being held captive in the dreaded hr "training" room "

which actually happened because that's from my blog

:S

human resources bah!

So whats the plan for tonight then?

none of your fucking business!

Drink my kids sullivan!

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaaaaaaaaaa

im sure he will, after cal takes his turn

Come on Iamcal'ers, get a grip. whos coming out to play?

aaaannnnyyyyywwwwaaaaaaaayyyyyy

I finish at 4:30 today. What about our other party goers?

I cant!

I can't. I've got a cold and need to go to bed ASAP before I pass out.

:(

pffft!

Just us then.

What time you wanna meet folks?

i'm not sure yet, my mate is coming down from Manchester and i'm not sure how to invite him for drinks with a group of people i met on the internet.

&^(&%(^&%^&()^&^

From Manchester? Wow! Watch me make Chay laugh like a fool

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhahahahaa

I can't. i live in Manchester

Whoops, time for more time-tomfoolery.

well done my most excellent friend

Ta.

Right, i'm off down the pub, someone call me and tell me whats happening.

I'll be in waxys little sister at 5. Be there or be somewhere else

who is waxy?
thats gross
unless his little sister is like in her twenties
but still why would you want people watching
:S