Discussion » Marlboro Man Lives

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Posted by anotherdave, 11:51, 28th May 2003:
 
I need help to give up smokes.
Posted by Victor Menendez, 11:54, 28th May 2003:
 
Don't do it dave, nobody likes a quitter.
Posted by anotherdave, 11:56, 28th May 2003:
 
Thanks Vic. I'm happy to substitue my addition with another. Any ideas
Posted by chandler, 11:57, 28th May 2003:
 
redmaiden substituted smokes for Me :) so im afraid i'm no longer available dave :)
Posted by anotherdave, 12:02, 28th May 2003:
 
The cheap alcohol seems to help. I just pass out. I guess thats just swapping lungs for liver, insurence should cover a transplant for that
Posted by arsepuppy, 12:09, 28th May 2003:
 
Quitting's for losers!
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 12:15, 28th May 2003:
 
SMokes rollies for about 2 weeks, get fed up with them and move back to fags.
Posted by Rosie, 12:30, 28th May 2003:
 
get a nasty chest infection so that you cough up greeny-brown shit and it hurts like fuck when you breath in. Thats how I've stopped. ( not smoked for about a week now).
Posted by ilovebeerme, 12:57, 28th May 2003:
 
Think about the big fat (non-smoker) Philip Morris exec laughing at you for being pathetic. Taunting you not to pay for his holiday to Bermuda and then pissing himself when you fail. You could also visit the cancer ward. My friends uncle simply visited the doctor. After tests and stuff he was told he had cancer. A year later he's dead. He was 34. On the plus side he no longer smokes.
Posted by Sul, 16:57, 28th May 2003:
 
"Quitting's for losers!"

I'm quite fond of the line - "Rehab is for quitters!"
Posted by Sul, 17:07, 28th May 2003:
 
Oh and...

Dont do it man! Think of the economy you selfish bastard!
Posted by Redmaiden, 19:08, 28th May 2003:
 
Chew nicotine gum, gets me through the day. Patches fall off
Posted by Doctor Lucid, 20:30, 10th February 2004:
 
Vic! Just read your post;

"Don't do it dave, nobody likes a quitter."

LOL!!!!!!
Posted by Abe Frohman, 21:17, 10th February 2004:
 
Vic is dead.

But thanks.
Posted by WarHead, 22:45, 10th February 2004:
 
Take up serial masturbation instead. Exercise, pleasure, and harmless. Despite what people say, it's almost impossible to 'overdo it.' But remember to keep plenty of lube handy or yer willy will be red raw.


Oh, and try to be discrete. ;0)
Posted by janine, 15:43, 11th February 2004:
 
dave,if you are serious about wanting to stop smoking, read Allen Carrs easy way to stop smoking, published by penguine, it has worked for me and I smoked betwen 40 and 60 a day
Posted by Vikki, 17:30, 11th February 2004:
 
Try gettin a jar and keep most of the fags you smoke that day (including ash....like out the ashtray) put it in the jar then fill it up with water put the lid on a leave it over night. Then first thing in the morning shake it up and take a really deep breath threw your nose of it. I heard that works or at least puts you off for a while anyway i dunno, i aint tried it myself.
Posted by Doctor Lucid, 01:26, 12th February 2004:
 
That's a bit like drinking bong water to make you stop smoking bongs.

It just makes you boke.
Posted by angeldelight, 02:55, 12th February 2004:
 
get pregnant and you can quit instantly
Posted by Uma, 08:05, 12th February 2004:
 
Another trick : pick a date quite far in the future on which to stop smoking. ie "I will stop smoking on the 1st January 2005" You need *at least* six months. You have to say it over and over and over to yourself in that six months that that is the date you will stop. And tell everyone you know as well. Also say things like "Next year I will not be a smoker" The trick is to say it over and over and over because it's like programming your mind. When that day comes you will have brainwashed yourself into stopping smoking. Your subconscious mind doesn't know the difference between truth and programming. Anything that you tell it over and over and over it will eventually accept as truth. Try it and please let me know how it turns out! Good Luck!
:)
Posted by RUSS, 08:45, 12th February 2004:
 
you have a bit of a wait to find out!!!
Posted by Uma, 08:57, 12th February 2004:
 
I don't mind. I'll be here. Hello Russ!
Posted by RUSS, 09:13, 12th February 2004:
 
hi
Posted by Abe Frohman, 09:14, 12th February 2004:
 
Hi.
Posted by Uma, 09:17, 12th February 2004:
 
Hi Abe
Posted by WarHead, 09:47, 12th February 2004:
 
I will have sex every day of my life with nubile women half my age from 1 March 2004 and they will think I'm the best fuck they ever had. They will probably give me money as well. Lots of it.


If this doesn't work, Uma, I'm gonna hold you personally responsible.
Posted by WarHead, 09:56, 12th February 2004:
 
I will have sex every day of my life with nubile women half my age from 1 March 2004 and they will think I'm the best fuck they ever had. They will probably give me money as well. Lots of it.

I will have sex every day of my life with nubile women half my age from 1 March 2004 and they will think I'm the best fuck they ever had. They will probably give me money as well. Lots of it.

I will have sex every day of my life with nubile women half my age from 1 March 2004 and they will think I'm the best fuck they ever had. They will probably give me money as well. Lots of it.

I will have sex every day of my life with nubile women half my age from 1 March 2004 and they will think I'm the best fuck they ever had. They will probably give me money as well. Lots of it.

I will have sex every day of my life with nubile women half my age from 1 March 2004 and they will think I'm the best fuck they ever had. They will probably give me money as well. Lots of it.
Posted by Abe Frohman, 10:00, 12th February 2004:
 
wow, you appear to be brainwashing yourself. Do you read your Horoscopes too?
Posted by Uma, 11:04, 12th February 2004:
 
LOL! Warhead! *smacks him on the bum* You'd have to brainwash the nubile maidens too.

P.S. I'm nubile, but I'm not half your age. That OK?
Posted by Uma, 11:10, 12th February 2004:
 
Don't scoff. It isn't woo-woo stuff!

www.nlp.com/about-nlp/whatnlp.html

Welcome to the New Age my Children!
Peace, Love and Flowers
Reverend SM Moon
Posted by WarHead, 11:17, 12th February 2004:
 
P.S. I'm nubile, but I'm not half your age. That OK?


One out of two is close enough for me.
Posted by Uma, 11:29, 12th February 2004:
 
Hooray! A hit! P.S. your assesment of me was rather on the money, old chap! It's true I'm not getting any. Sucks, doesn't it? (not that you'd know, you're married)
Posted by Doctor Lucid, 00:24, 13th February 2004:
 
Oh my god.

You're not getting any? Is that why you're posting on iamcal?
Posted by WarHead, 13:14, 13th February 2004:
 
Well she won't get any here either, will she?

And please don't make any assumptions about how much I get either. Been married for over 25 years so you can work out the implications for yourself.
Posted by Uma, 13:22, 13th February 2004:
 
Yeah, I guess so! Well, then that makes two of us. Plus I think Brock mentioned it as well, so that's three! We should start the 'not getting any' club. No, Doc, that's not why I post here. I post here because I enjoy it, it's fun. I enjoy everyone's company and besides that, it's very funny mostly.
Posted by RUSS, 13:23, 13th February 2004:
 
for some people thismeans they get plenty for others, not so. so it is hard to make assumptions based on 1 fact. FACT
Posted by WarHead, 13:48, 13th February 2004:
 
Good point. Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not telling you all my personal stuff, so you'll just have to use your imagination. This will be easier for some of you than others.
Posted by Brock, 15:08, 13th February 2004:
 
/knowing wink at Warhead.

Like your point, there, young man...
Posted by Uma, 16:36, 13th February 2004:
 
Warhead, where are you?
Posted by WarHead, 16:44, 13th February 2004:
 
Manchester.

Next question please.
Posted by Uma, 16:46, 13th February 2004:
 
Oh, yup, sorry you said you were busy.
Posted by WarHead, 16:49, 13th February 2004:
 
Did I? I don't remember. I have been very busy and very pissed off being busy, but it's nearly packing up time so WGASA?
Posted by Uma, 16:50, 13th February 2004:
 
Yer, you seem pissed off! Eep. Why? Can I kiss it better?
Posted by WarHead, 16:52, 13th February 2004:
 
Meet me behind the bike sheds and we can discuss it at length. ;0)
Posted by Uma, 16:54, 13th February 2004:
 
I am so there, warhead!
Posted by Uma, 16:55, 13th February 2004:
 
What's WGASA? (for the blondes amongst us) ie me
Posted by WarHead, 16:55, 13th February 2004:
 
If you're good I'll let you sit on my crossbar.
Posted by Uma, 16:56, 13th February 2004:
 
HOORAY! (promise?)
Posted by WarHead, 16:57, 13th February 2004:
 
WGASA = Who Gives A Shit Anyway. I believe there is a damn in Africa named the WGASA Damn. I'm sure I've posted this info before, but it may have been a while ago. If you do a Google search for WGASA I'm sure you'll find it.
Posted by Uma, 16:58, 13th February 2004:
 
Thanks. What I lack in brains I make up for in...er...
Posted by WarHead, 16:58, 13th February 2004:
 
Certainly. There's nothing quite like having a young lady sitting on your crossbar. Am I right or am I right?

Do you think you'll be able to get your leg over?
Posted by Uma, 17:01, 13th February 2004:
 
I am doing my darndest, aren't I?

P.S. do you think intelligence is inversely proportional to libido?
Posted by WarHead, 17:04, 13th February 2004:
 
I hope not, cos I'm a genius, I am. No, I can't be, cos I've still got a lidibo. Perhaps I'm thick after all.
Posted by Uma, 17:07, 13th February 2004:
 
Nah, clever people are definitely the horniest!
Posted by WarHead, 17:09, 13th February 2004:
 
So, it was a trick question then. You really think that intelligence is not inversely proportional to libeeeeedo.
Posted by WarHead, 17:11, 13th February 2004:
 
Uma, why are you at work so late? It's after 5pm here and I'm about to jump ship.
Posted by Uma, 17:11, 13th February 2004:
 
Well, I said "what I lack in brains I make up for in..." and I think you assumed I meant 'other' talents (which I do have, of course, in great abundance)
Posted by Uma, 17:12, 13th February 2004:
 
I must also go...but I was having too much fun talking to you.
Posted by WarHead, 17:14, 13th February 2004:
 
*Blushes* What would the neighbours say?
Posted by arsepuppy, 17:15, 13th February 2004:
 
does 'annoyance' count as a talent?
Posted by Uma, 17:16, 13th February 2004:
 
Besides the traffic home is a bitch, so I rather miss it. Road rage is *rampant* here, and I'm the main culprit.
Posted by Uma, 17:16, 13th February 2004:
 
Do I annoy you too?
Posted by WarHead, 17:17, 13th February 2004:
 
Take no notice, he's just jealous.

Right, I'm outa her. Later dudes and dudettes.
Posted by Uma, 17:19, 13th February 2004:
 
Ciao, warhead...have a good one!
Posted by arsepuppy, 17:24, 13th February 2004:
 
:D
Posted by WarHead, 20:04, 13th February 2004:
 
I wonder if anotherdave has managed to give up smoking yet.....