iamcal.com Since May 2000

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• Hello!

Analysis of IAMCAL members:

1)Unmarried & never likely to be

Too fucking geeky,nerdy,ugly as that fuckin trog you lot call a queen.

2)Days are spent in front of a monitor, with jam-jar glasses, magnifying glass in one hand, limp and little-used cock in the other.

3)At all costs avoid them when they enter rooms

Face it, who wants to be bored to death by some prat in a aran jumper, with a Beano comic in his back pocket and this weeks 'Windows for Wimps' manual under his arm.

4)All have nasty comb-overs to cover the pointy bits on their heads.Alternatively some have displayed the 'Damian' Complex, 666 replaced with 'XP'.

5)Mertons Anomie theory applies

Retreatists who feel like they are functioning but have fuck all to offer to the world. Are actually really good at living at home with mumsy when they are 60yrs old....mother likes her little boy to bring tea on a tray and then retreat to his room to download some more shit onto his unnaturally cluttered desktop. They have rejected the accepted values of society and alternatively,have glued their clammy, sweaty, little hands to a keyboard in protest at how 'nobody understands' them.

6) Are so socially inept they believe Cal is a person

Are unaware that the mind manifests situations and awareness of people when it is either starved of oxygen or the body is dying. Both explanation are appropriate here.

Now......please excuse me while i logout and shake off the momentary cellular stagnation my brain experienced while on this mind numbing site.

Were u bored when u wrote this.......u sound like someone who listens to Staind and hates his parents......dont hate them.....they mean well.

The fact that Staind crossed your chequered little lonely cell really says more about you then it does me. And its 'her' parents you sexist fool.

it's good to know how you feel about us...
but tell us about yourself now, we're all dying to know

Hey she's got a point. My cock is limp.

Shhh, she knows about calbot.

I will use all the fucking html i want!!!!!
DONT DARE TRY AND FOLLOW ME. I AM WATCHING YOU

HI

Its not your SQL!!!!!!

ive seen them all at neuron1 they are all dogs!!!!!

my bandwidths me own your not fucking footing the bill!!!! blood suckers

death to america! death to the west!

HALLA

lol cal doesn't exist anymore

systembreakdown = Lonely Cryin Only

right-o then.

where are the sudden wave of twats coming from?

ho hum

I agree with 'Systembreakdown'. He is my new hero.

What the....

"I agree with 'Systembreakdown'. He is my new hero."

Coming from someone who worships Big Brother, I'm not surprised ;)

I like the subtle hints to Mr. Breakdown's character in his post though. Seems he has a lot of issues and is basically describing himself but cannot deal with his intense feeling of inadequacy.

*whispers*

AP, Breakdown is a she.

Systembreakdown - what a pathetic lot of old, jaded cliches you list. You clearly are a person with no imagination and a major major inferiority complex. You are the 'sad' one for posting garbage like that.

Is cal not real?

I'm confused. I don't understand why he/she would say that for...

Yeah, and who says we're never going to get married...

Fuckwit!

Sorry FL, I was just going by Grim's "he is my new hero" thing.

"And its 'her' parents you sexist fool."

Um. that isn't sexist. If you're going to write like a sexually frustrated 14-year-old boy, people will assume you are one. Sexism isn't a issue here FFS.

I just went to the twats profile and looked at his/her website and it took me to a load of porn!!

Arsehole! I'm at work!!

>:(

mmm porn.

porns good

Has anyone seen the 'text sex thing' on tantalise TV?

I think most of us have used it alot actually, think of the porn



Don't be silly, my hair is too long for comb-overs, I mean I havn't been to the barbers in ages



True Microsoft is the spawn of the devil

I know cal is not a person, I've met him, he's a robot. Therefore the rest of what systembreakdown has said must also be true.

I am now going to commit suicide, I can't live with the insight this has given me.

Mmmm it would appear that the '14 year old boy' has generated quite a bit of discussion fodder. Subsequently, i am currently working on the 2nd Edition of my Analysis which will be based on how much you people analyse other people's analysis, paying particular attention to the overuse of the word 'twat' as a trend within your group.

Incidentally, Rosie is a blatant liar and obvious fantasist. My 'website' does not exist, its merely a product of my zealous imagination, just as the porn is a product of Rosies, who quite obviously needs a good seeing to over the photocopier.

earthworm, 09:13 29 May 2003 :
Yeah, and who says we're never going to get married...

The fear in that message said it all ;)

Kitten, the urge to inflict self mutilation is an added extra of this dismal place. Log out and stay healthy.

earthworm is getting married this year
and one day i shall be marrying Redmaiden.

surely you analysing our "over analysis" is even worse?

Grow up dude.

Rosie doesnt need a good seeing to over the photocopier, she gets her monkey smacked on a regular basis apparently.

oh and we've missed you soooo much "systembreakdown"

(what a coool username btw, you're such a Krazy Kid!)

(twat)

Chandler when i want your opinion i will ask for it, although i rue the day i would ever need enlightened by someone who uses the word 'dude', particularly to a woman. 'One day' doesnt quite cut it....it remains to be seen ;)

'Twat' again Chandler?! Not dude? Not Bill and Teds Excellent Adventure speak for little bing-a-ling?? Im not in the slightest bit interested in Rosie, her monkey or her personal photocopier/vibrator....but Redmaiden wants to pay some particular attention to your interest in it.

oh you're a Woman. oh so the operation was a success then? did they let you keep your bits afterwards? how lovely for you.

i use dude in an ironic way. You probably don't know what that is. (It's nothing to do with Ironing in case you were confused)

i used twat again in an ironic way because you mentioned our love of the word.

Grow Up

Thanks Chandler...i can see the donor scheme strongly benefitted you, but they were supposed to postion my 10" cock on your crotch not your forehead.

sigh

kids eh, no respect these days

When all else fails, Chandler assumes the 'tut, tut kids these days....eh bah gum....werent like that in my day' stance. Wrong again Chandler, over 21 here. Youre right about one thing..i have no respect for someone who can associate any type of irony to the use of the word 'dude'. The only irony i can detect is how inappropriate it is for an adult to think they can use it and be taken seriously.

that is the irony, i don't expect "dude" to be taken seriously. Just as "kids eh" isnt supposed to be serious. but i see i'm arguing semantics with an idiot so i'll leave you to your increadibly meaningful life.

Looks to me like you are the only one who understands you. Later dude

Allow me to interject here:

Chay - don't your admin powers allow you to ban idiots like this?

oh goody! does that mean you are coming back? when you realise there is noone in the "real world" that will even speak to you. when you are so lonely and starved of attention that you need to feel something, anything, even if it is hate, cos hate thats just the flip side of love isnt, yeah feel the hate in the room, it makes you feel so alive.

no, that's cal's domain.

Oh well, just a thought. :)

"Incidentally, Rosie is a blatant liar and obvious fantasist. My 'website' does not exist, its merely a product of my zealous imagination, just as the porn is a product of Rosies, who quite obviously needs a good seeing to over the photocopier. "

Woman my hairy porn obsessed arse.

My thoughts exactly, ILBM, my thoughts exactly. :)

With your permission, i'd like to take systembreakdown under my wing and try to do some good for the world. it can be done, just look at my work with mickywullclanger/thegush once he was just as simple and idiotic, but now he is a valuable member of society! i can help

(twat)

Chris Kirkman's Twat Convertors

Fucktards invading your conversations?
12 year olds annoying the shit out of you?
People bringing conversations of the matrix/dirty sanchez to new levels of inanity?

Then we can help

If we dont do it we'll guarentee a double-decker bus does.

not me, I just ignore the cunts

I bet that system was writing this whilst waiting to go see 2Fast2Furious with his bling bling mates!

OMG! I hope the plot's as original as the first one!

Anyway my mum says I'm cool as fuck.

And my mum says that if she was 20 years younger she'd marry me, so there :p

Yeah your mum said that to me too. At least I think thats what she said ;) . Wait this isn't the insult Sul thread is it?

I wouldnt worry about it ilbm. She says it to all the boys. ;)

why do people like systemofadown or whatever the fuck he/she was called post on here? fair enough, each to their own and it may not appeal to all taste's but but why not just piss of and leave those of us who enjoy these sights to it? (twat)

i love this bit:

"Chandler when i want your opinion i will ask for it"

hmmm.... sure thing, system... because, we asked you for your opinion, didn't we?

Systemshithead, you are a twat.

:D

"1)Unmarried & never likely to be

Too fucking geeky,nerdy,ugly as that fuckin trog you lot call a queen."

Julian Clery isnt ugly ;/

"2)Days are spent in front of a monitor, with jam-jar glasses, magnifying glass in one hand, limp and little-used cock in the other."

Given the amount of porn found on the internet these days, you are clearly wrong with that last point >:D

"3)At all costs avoid them when they enter rooms

Face it, who wants to be bored to death by some prat in a aran jumper, with a Beano comic in his back pocket and this weeks 'Windows for Wimps' manual under his arm."

Pfft. *nix manual i think you'll find.

4 and 5 I'll skip bcos I dont understand D:!

"6) Are so socially inept they believe Cal is a person"

HE IS REAL! I HAVE SEEN HIM WITH MY OWN EYES!!!!

;____;

(twat)

and if he isn't a real person how would this site have been made?

I've seen him too \o/

I've seen him more.

:|

true.

Maybe that makes me more socially inept?

maybe that makes you his brother?!!?

Maybe !

*wins*

\o/

blerg? :D!

I'm a child

dude stop it, its not clever. Do you actually have any friends cos it does not seem like you have a very good friend making attitude you should go see if you can work on this, try it here dude

why are you here if you don't like it???
GO AWAY!!

hey russ, hows plumbing?

very good thanks matey, its hard work when i am working but it is job and knock as they say, which means to say once you're finished you're job for the day you can go home, me and my plumber are done by midday-1 o'clock most days so it is nice.
it will be a long time before i am a millionaire though, but i am nearly there

systembreakdown is cool. she has totally disrupted the status quo in this mindless twat (also known as minge , flange cunt muff flaps slice slit baps and of course chandlers face) obsessed cess (notice the assonance?) pool of a chat room that you 'monkey fucking rentboys' call home. as for the semantics debate, chandler , having studied english at degree level , i think that you will find that actually explaining your irony defeats the purpose entirely.

having studied english at degree level
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.
.
.
.
.

Aaargh, fools, Sul's right- don't feed the troll, it's what it wants.

im gonna petrol bomb vic out then his 'wings' that he keeps taking people under will be burnt to a fucking crisp. cunt cuntcunt cuntcuntcuntcuntcuntcunt

I'm upset now guys. Why why why do I always come back to find that I have missed the good arguments :( It's so unfair!!!

Really though, I think a new section needs to be opened for people to bitch in. That way then can have a rant in their own personal space and none of us have to listen to their pathetic dribblings. I mean, for gods sake there are far more important things to worry about in life than what other people talk about on web sites. If you like it join in, if not then pass on by, but surely someone who is claiming to be mature must see the pointlessness in posting insulting comments to a bunch of people they are likely to never meet.

There you go, rant over, just wanted to add my two pence worth.

systembreakdown. what can i say? just tell your parents that i'm sorry that they couldn't afford the abortion.

Poor little rich kid, your parents could buy you a computer.

whenever i read this topic i think: "is (s)he trying to imply that the east is full of social inept retards"

hmm

Systembreakdown...you are a sad git.
That is all I have to say!

I find this funny
"And its 'her' parents you sexist fool."
When her first post suggests all members here are male.

exactly Rach, i think there is a hell of a lot of bad karma going on here. If systembreakdown is so opinionated it would be nice to know a bit more about where he/she is coming from instead of just leaving the profile bit with this awe inspiring bit of rhetoric, "Mind yer own fucking fizzness!".

One can only stand and shudder in the face of such greatness...

steve that was like a month ago! agghhh dont resurect threads that were dead! otherwise they hang around again. and more people end up reading this shit.

the bad karma from this one was gone and forgotten but now you've brought it back!

and we will all comment and it wil be here forever

woohoo! I rule! Besides it was already knocking about on the recent discussions side bar, thats where i do my looking for topics so it was someone elses fault, get your facts right mate.

Anyway, beargod will be getting married too!

dude it would not have been in the side bar since the 9th of June

"Anyway, beargod will be getting married too!"

Really BG?? Congratulations!

cheers ap, I have no idea where that came from :)

gobbo, innit.

true very true, maybe I should ask him, oh I think I know why he said it now, but then again at this moment in time the house is gonna come first then the marriage then the kiddies Neil and Jessica.

My god. I missed all this. If I'd been here, I'd have warned young Systematic Breakdown that she ought to steer away from monstrous generalisations.

What was quite entertaining was;

Response 1; "Shut up! Twat! I have a life!"

Response 2; "Ahhh! You're a twat." (I mean, you can't fault the logic).

Response 3; "That's really funny. Now go away and write something else funny and stop milking it. It wasn't that good. Go. Leave."

So yeah. I think the most offensive part of this whole thread was "thegush" muttering about studying English at degree level and the correct usage of irony. And boy, there sure was a lot of it. "Notice the assonance!" I laughed so much I nearly fell off my chair.

So, you couple of mardy 'teenage' (and I mean that in the nastiest sense of the world) upstarts, stay the hell away! This is my bloody petri dish full of a mock-community. Don't go sticking your dirty fingers in!