Discussion » Plz Reply Need Help

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Posted by matrix fanatic, 20:57, 23rd June 2003:
 
hello people theres this boy i like in my class how can i get his attention?i need wicked tips and fast cause I WANT HIM to ask me out thankz xxxxx
Posted by Sul, 21:23, 23rd June 2003:
 
Firstly. Are you male or female?
Posted by beargod, 21:33, 23rd June 2003:
 
ask the boy out yourself
Posted by Grim..., 08:51, 24th June 2003:
 
Look like a dirty shag
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 08:53, 24th June 2003:
 
LOL
Posted by Ana, 13:32, 24th June 2003:
 
Simple as pie - walk up to him privately, and ask him out... problem solved :=:o)
Posted by jlittle, 13:40, 24th June 2003:
 
firstly, don't listen to anything Sul says ;)
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 13:50, 24th June 2003:
 
I agree with Ana, it is as simple as that.
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 13:53, 24th June 2003:
 
In fact, I have changed my mind...heres what to do:

Step 1: Take this young boy into a quiet room
Step 2: Show him your breasts.
Step 3: Ask him out.

Sure fired way of getting a boyfriend.

So says Foggie!
Posted by jlittle, 14:00, 24th June 2003:
 
Slight amendment.

Step 1: Take this young boy into a quiet room
Step 2: Show him your breasts.
Step 3: Let him fondle them, smile, then put them away.
Step 4: Ask him out
Posted by Rosie, 14:20, 24th June 2003:
 
Suck him off and swollow

Its always worked for me in the past.....
Posted by arsepuppy, 14:23, 24th June 2003:
 
I think I love you, Rosie ;)
Posted by Rosie, 14:27, 24th June 2003:
 
:D

Yeah, thats what they all say about 2 minutes after I've finished them off!

;)
Posted by cal, 14:35, 24th June 2003:
 
hehe. rosie is great
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 14:55, 24th June 2003:
 
God Bless Rosie and her 'ways'
Posted by Rosie, 15:35, 24th June 2003:
 
:D
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 15:42, 24th June 2003:
 
Rosie, would you still give the same advice if 'matrix fanatic' turned out to be 15 years old?
Posted by jlittle, 15:49, 24th June 2003:
 
probally!
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 16:04, 24th June 2003:
 
Yeah, i think so too.
Posted by Rosie, 16:29, 24th June 2003:
 
Of course i would! You have to start young in order to gain valuable experience in the field of oral sex. You're not just born with the ability of giving great head you know, you have to work on it!
Posted by Grim..., 16:29, 24th June 2003:
 
No, no, no.
You don't have to suck his cock - just look like you want to =]
Posted by Grim..., 16:41, 24th June 2003:
 
That way it doesn't matter if you (for Fog's suggestion) have crap boobs, or (for Rosie's suggestion) are crap at todger-tonguing.

How the hell do you spell Tongue-ing?
Posted by Victor Menendez, 20:58, 24th June 2003:
 
who cares you lunatic, what are you doing dragging the conversation away from Rosie's prowess?
Posted by 100% kitten, 22:03, 24th June 2003:
 
I know Cal is the master of recieving bizarre texts, but I switched my mobile on for the first time in a week the other day, and found that my (female) friend appears to have inadvertently sent me one which says "Just got home, I'm knackered. I can't believe you're only 21, you're that good in bed"!
I'm not quite sure how best to use this material for my amusement yet, but I'm fairly certain it will involve "Mrs Robinson".
Posted by 100% kitten, 22:04, 24th June 2003:
 
oh and sorry - you should get back to Rosie's prowess now ;)
Posted by November Eclectica, 00:51, 25th June 2003:
 
What does it matter if she is 15 or not? Kids know more about sex now then I did when I was that age. I agree with Rosie. Swallowing always seems to impress the men. :)
Posted by plindoe, 08:09, 25th June 2003:
 
Guys, guys , guys!

You forgot to mention getting the guy a can of lager after said incident.
Posted by Rosie, 09:05, 25th June 2003:
 
Another way to snare your man is to let him do you up the "don't you dare".

:)
Posted by t.m., 09:22, 25th June 2003:
 
Can I marry both you girls?

Anal should be for those special times ........... like Monday thru Saturday! ; )
Posted by November Eclectica, 14:11, 25th June 2003:
 
Anal is giving as a special treat.
Posted by Rosie, 14:13, 25th June 2003:
 
Hey there Nov! :D

I like your tattoo. Where abouts is it on your body?
Posted by arsepuppy, 14:13, 25th June 2003:
 
" Anal is giving as a special treat."

This should be the new strapline.
Posted by arsepuppy, 14:14, 25th June 2003:
 
I haven't seen the tattoo yet :(
Posted by Sul, 14:15, 25th June 2003:
 
HAHHAAHAHAA

An interesting use of words there Nov.
Posted by Rosie, 14:15, 25th June 2003:
 
HAHAHAHA I have!! I'm special!

Its really good. Must have hurt like hell!
Posted by arsepuppy, 14:16, 25th June 2003:
 
This beats the "Beargod/Countdown" line as "Best Iamcal Post Ever". It's brilliant :)
Posted by arsepuppy, 14:16, 25th June 2003:
 
Sorry Vic :(
Posted by Rosie, 14:17, 25th June 2003:
 
Do you think this person will actually take our advice?
Posted by arsepuppy, 14:17, 25th June 2003:
 
None of the women I've been with have let me done that as far as I can remember.....
Posted by November Eclectica, 14:19, 25th June 2003:
 
Takes a bow.

AP: Do I have your email address? If not then send it to me I will send you the picture or someone who I did send it to can post it.

Rosie: It is on my lower back and yes it hurt like hell. What is really good?
Posted by Rosie, 14:19, 25th June 2003:
 
Poor old you! Its the best. My b/f never wants to do it though. :(
Posted by Rosie, 14:20, 25th June 2003:
 
Nov: Your tattoo is really good!
Posted by arsepuppy, 14:21, 25th June 2003:
 
coc_oen@hotmail.com

I give this address out to employers and uni lecturers. Little do they know that "coc oen" is Welsh for "Lamb's Cock" ;)
Posted by November Eclectica, 14:21, 25th June 2003:
 
Thanks Rosie.

He never wants to do it ... what a shame.

My honey loves it.
Posted by Rosie, 14:22, 25th June 2003:
 
:*(
Posted by November Eclectica, 14:22, 25th June 2003:
 
AP: Check your email soon.
Posted by beargod, 14:22, 25th June 2003:
 
Nov I don't have a pic and you do have my email :(

And that was a good line :)
Posted by jlittle, 14:23, 25th June 2003:
 
I want to see a pic - can you put on cals ftp or something?
Posted by November Eclectica, 14:23, 25th June 2003:
 
What is your last name so I can look it up beargod.
Posted by November Eclectica, 14:24, 25th June 2003:
 
Like I said I can't post pictures, that is why i sent it out. I am sure that one of you can do it.
Posted by beargod, 14:25, 25th June 2003:
 
It is Brumfitt, but is not just use nov@beargod.co.uk
Posted by November Eclectica, 14:26, 25th June 2003:
 
I looked it up and I didn't have it beargod. Check your email though, it's on it's way to you.
Posted by Rosie, 14:28, 25th June 2003:
 
Nov, are you doing modelling? I went on to your site this morning and you were speaking about a photo shoot...?


Give us the goss..
Posted by arsepuppy, 14:28, 25th June 2003:
 
Cool! Did it hurt at all?
Posted by November Eclectica, 14:31, 25th June 2003:
 
I am doing some photos for my honey for his birthday. I will be wearing something sexy and may do one nude picture. No, I am not going to post them.

The person who is doing the pictures is a good friend and he has wanted to photograph me for a while.

He thinks I should model, but I am a little to scared to, so we are going to work on a portfolio.
Posted by November Eclectica, 14:32, 25th June 2003:
 
AP: It hurt but I got turned on by it. I like pain.
Posted by Rosie, 14:33, 25th June 2003:
 
Cool! Good for you. You will be famous and make millions!

:D

I could be your assistant or something.
Posted by November Eclectica, 14:34, 25th June 2003:
 
Yeah if I make it as a model. :)
Posted by Rosie, 14:35, 25th June 2003:
 
HORRRAAHHH!! No more selling headsets for me. I'm going to work with Nov.
Posted by beargod, 14:36, 25th June 2003:
 


Ill be your agent :)
Posted by November Eclectica, 14:36, 25th June 2003:
 
Thanks beargod.
Posted by beargod, 14:38, 25th June 2003:
 
s'alright :)
Posted by November Eclectica, 14:40, 25th June 2003:
 
My friend took that picture with her phone at work.
Posted by ilovebeerme, 14:46, 25th June 2003:
 
LMAO! Not read this thread before! Somebody comes asking for help with a potential relationship and the jist of the advice offered is swallow his jizz and let him fuck you in the ass if he's good. Classic. We rule.
Posted by beargod, 15:00, 25th June 2003:
 
I'ts not a bad pic for a phone
Posted by Sul, 15:00, 25th June 2003:
 
Message from Vic:

Bah, the iamcal girls are talking about arse-fucking and I cant join in. God hates me :(
Posted by arsepuppy, 15:02, 25th June 2003:
 
Why can't he join in??
Posted by beargod, 15:02, 25th June 2003:
 
Where is vic and why can he not join in?
Posted by Sul, 15:06, 25th June 2003:
 
His works proxy is playing up and wont let him on the site
Posted by beargod, 15:10, 25th June 2003:
 
that sucks
Posted by Rosie, 15:10, 25th June 2003:
 
I'm missing my Vic.

Sul: tell him he can do me up the tunnel any day of the week!

:D
Posted by Sul, 15:11, 25th June 2003:
 
LOL Ok :D
Posted by November Eclectica, 15:13, 25th June 2003:
 
I am missing my foggie. he is busy with work and can't play. *pout*
Posted by ilovebeerme, 15:15, 25th June 2003:
 
"he is busy with work "

Well if he doesn't get to the best spot some other guy will be shouting 'Bishooo' in no time :D
Posted by Sul, 15:20, 25th June 2003:
 
Rosie: He says, "ask her what she's doing tonight"
Posted by Rosie, 15:37, 25th June 2003:
 
Sul: tell him I'm free tonight. Ask him what he's up to.
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 15:49, 25th June 2003:
 
Nov, I am back!

Nice Tat! :D

And very nice comment about anal as a special treat..I actually laughed out loud.
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 15:54, 25th June 2003:
 
Also, has the poor kid who started this post ever came back? We will have corrupted her..this guy she likes is in for a great time. Lucky wee git!
Posted by Sul, 15:55, 25th June 2003:
 
Rosie:

Tell her i'm packing my KY and lucky Zebra-skin thong right now.
Posted by Rosie, 15:58, 25th June 2003:
 
Sul: I can't wait! One Up The Bum, No Harm Done.

:O
Posted by Rosie, 15:59, 25th June 2003:
 
The person who started this is probably having wild sex now. And its all thanks to us. Are we great or what?!
Posted by arsepuppy, 15:59, 25th June 2003:
 
Never mind the glitter, do it up the shitter.
Posted by Sul, 16:03, 25th June 2003:
 
"I can't wait! One Up The Bum, No Harm Done."

Tell that to the goatse guy :/
Posted by arsepuppy, 16:06, 25th June 2003:
 
??
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 16:08, 25th June 2003:
 
Goatse guy?
Posted by Rosie, 16:08, 25th June 2003:
 
Sounds interesting....
Posted by Sul, 16:10, 25th June 2003:
 
oh god no! You have the internet and noone's got you to see the goatse guy?

I'm not going to link to it. And I sure as hell wouldnt advise going searching for it while at work.
Posted by beargod, 16:11, 25th June 2003:
 
I don't know either foggy
Posted by arsepuppy, 16:12, 25th June 2003:
 
Is this a goatse.cx thing??
Posted by arsepuppy, 16:13, 25th June 2003:
 
Does he have sex with goats or something??
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 16:14, 25th June 2003:
 
He shags goats! No way..I aint looking at that.
Posted by Sul, 16:17, 25th June 2003:
 
yeah its the goatse.cx thing. And he may have had sex with a goat, I'm not too sure on the size of goat genitals.
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 16:18, 25th June 2003:
 
nope, i aint looking.
Posted by arsepuppy, 16:19, 25th June 2003:
 
What is the goatse.cx thing anyway? I've heard of it, but dunno anything about it.
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 16:19, 25th June 2003:
 
yeah right
Posted by arsepuppy, 16:19, 25th June 2003:
 
Did his arsehole cave in or something??
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 16:20, 25th June 2003:
 
that was the weightlifter whos ass fell out.
Posted by Grim..., 16:22, 25th June 2003:
 
www.goatse.cx .

Don't look at it while at work!
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 16:23, 25th June 2003:
 
I feel sick.
Posted by Sul, 16:24, 25th June 2003:
 
you looked?
Posted by arsepuppy, 16:24, 25th June 2003:
 
"I can't wait! One Up The Bum, No Harm Done."

Tell that to the goatse guy :/

What happened Sul?? TELLLLL MEEEEE!!!!

*shakes Sul*
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 16:24, 25th June 2003:
 
yes, I did *hangs head*
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 16:27, 25th June 2003:
 
Just the pics though..you tell the story
Posted by arsepuppy, 16:31, 25th June 2003:
 
What is it Foggy??
Posted by beargod, 16:32, 25th June 2003:
 
I like the warning, if you find this pic digusting don't look at it :)
Posted by Sul, 16:33, 25th June 2003:
 
AP: Its a bloke stretching his already mightily stretched arsehole, ok? Happy now?
Posted by Rosie, 16:35, 25th June 2003:
 
OMG!
Posted by arsepuppy, 16:35, 25th June 2003:
 
ok.
Posted by arsepuppy, 16:35, 25th June 2003:
 
That's sodding rank, btw.
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 16:35, 25th June 2003:
 
You could park a car in his ass!
Posted by arsepuppy, 16:36, 25th June 2003:
 
Did a goat stretch it?? With its head??
Posted by Sul, 16:36, 25th June 2003:
 
possibly. I'm unaware of the story behind it.
Posted by Sul, 16:40, 25th June 2003:
 
I like the thought that it was some sort of accident. Like "Oh fuck, I've fallen over in the bathroom and the toilet just slipped up my arse"
Posted by arsepuppy, 16:45, 25th June 2003:
 
You should watch those goats, you know.

Posted by arsepuppy, 16:46, 25th June 2003:
 
"Be Vegetarian - Instead of eating ass, why not cram objects up ass"
Posted by Sul, 16:52, 25th June 2003:
 
that goat scares me
Posted by arsepuppy, 16:55, 25th June 2003:
 
It's saying "Sulllll I waaaant to stretch your buuuuuuumm!!" Then it'll drown you in a bath of colostomy juice, like the picture above.
Posted by Rosie, 16:57, 25th June 2003:
 
EEEEWWWWW!!!

LOL!

:D
Posted by Sul, 16:58, 25th June 2003:
 
*shudder* Thats exactly what I though it was saying
Posted by November Eclectica, 18:13, 25th June 2003:
 
I am at work so I can't look. *pout*
Posted by cal, 11:18, 26th June 2003:
 
you *so* don't want to. also not sfw:

www.tubgirl.com/



(sites purely designed to send unwitting people too. pretty sure goatse is faked)
Posted by beargod, 11:21, 26th June 2003:
 
OK that is a "I need a toilet neer" moment
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 11:21, 26th June 2003:
 
Cal!

That is fuckin revolting!
Posted by Sul, 11:23, 26th June 2003:
 
Bearing in mind Ive never been to tubgirl.com, if I did go could I expect some kind of fountain action going on?
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 11:24, 26th June 2003:
 
yes
Posted by Sul, 11:31, 26th June 2003:
 
then I dont need to go

Tub + Girl + "That is fuckin revolting" = An image that will haunt me forever