Discussion » Friday's Joke Before She Goes Offline

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Posted by friday, 12:35, 18th July 2003:
 
I just laughed and laughed out loud at this one, hope y'all enjoy it too!!

A big fat hairy lady went into a bar in a quiet country pub and putting up her arm, displaying the most disgusting hairy armpit shouted "which one of you handsome men is going to buy the lady a drink?"

Well, the guys there just looked at each other thinking, not me darlin, when one of them, from the end of the bar shouted "Barman! Get the ballerina a drink!!"

She drank it, hastily in her own charming way, then stuck up her arm again and shouted "which one of you handsome men is going to buy the lady a drink this time?"

Having now been let off the hook, the men just looked at the barman and then the drunk fellow at the end of the bar, when he then said "Barman! Get the ballerina a drink!!"

This went on a couple of more times before the barman went up to the drunk and said "Excuse me mate, I don't have any objection to you buying the lady a drink, but please, why do you insist on calling her a ballerina?"

He replied, "I thought it was obvious, but anyone who can lift up their leg that high, must be a ballerina"

boom boom!
Posted by arsepuppy, 12:36, 18th July 2003:
 
:D

I liked that.
Posted by beargod, 12:38, 18th July 2003:
 
oh crap, it took me while, with the not thinking about the hair and all
Posted by cal, 12:40, 18th July 2003:
 
friday is a she?
Posted by chandler, 12:42, 18th July 2003:
 
no it's a day
Posted by chandler, 12:42, 18th July 2003:
 
(the clue is in the word itself)
Posted by friday, 12:42, 18th July 2003:
 
Yep, code name Friday is FEMALE
Posted by friday, 12:44, 18th July 2003:
 
OH SHIT, was that meant to be a secret?
Posted by beargod, 12:44, 18th July 2003:
 
yeah your meant to be a he :P
Posted by arsepuppy, 12:45, 18th July 2003:
 
Hence the liking of pretending to be Lara Croft, I'd assume Chay.
Posted by friday, 12:48, 18th July 2003:
 
BG why am I supposed to be a he, and is that why you offered to show me your bum??
Posted by arsepuppy, 12:52, 18th July 2003:
 
They probably made some sort of "Robinson Crusoe"-based assumption. "Man Friday" etc.

Some people, eh?

:)
Posted by friday, 12:56, 18th July 2003:
 
Yeah right, some people! What about girl friday hey, hey, hey? What about it??

:-)
Posted by beargod, 12:56, 18th July 2003:
 
No Friday, I would have shown everyone my bum.

And I made the smily to show I was not serious
Posted by friday, 12:59, 18th July 2003:
 
Oooh, OK

*thinks still havent seen his bum, promises promises*
Posted by jlittle, 13:01, 18th July 2003:
 
you could always show us your bum friday? :)
Posted by jeff, 13:01, 18th July 2003:
 
i too assumed you were male.. man friday n stuff, also all the new people seem to be boys lately.. sorry..

so, woohoo! another girl... solidarity n all that :)
Posted by beargod, 13:02, 18th July 2003:
 
I think I know why now, Geocities don't seem to let you view piccis on their own, they have to be viewed on the actual page or something
Posted by friday, 13:13, 18th July 2003:
 
Thanks jeff!! (Funnily enough I thought you were male, until I saw ur profile!)
Posted by friday, 13:14, 18th July 2003:
 
I dont have a pic of my nice butt at the mo, maybe you'll get lucky another day
Posted by jeff, 13:15, 18th July 2003:
 
i deliberately mean to mislead :)
Posted by friday, 13:16, 18th July 2003:
 
It's a good one, I thought it was brill when I saw Gary's picture!!
Posted by friday, 13:18, 18th July 2003:
 
OK, going offline now. Have a great weekend!!
Posted by arsepuppy, 13:20, 18th July 2003:
 
bye!
Posted by Doctor Lucid, 19:20, 19th July 2003:
 
Hehehe.... everyone got well excited when they found out Friday was a girl..

That's so cool.
Posted by cal, 08:28, 21st July 2003:
 
i think perhaps it's not quite as geeky as that

it's more that when you talk to someone for a while online, and then find out you had their gender wrong, it's quite a big upheaval, having to go back and rethink every exchange you've had. umm, yeah
Posted by beargod, 09:36, 21st July 2003:
 
I agree with cal
Posted by arsepuppy, 09:38, 21st July 2003:
 
Yup, me too.
Posted by Victor Menendez, 09:43, 21st July 2003:
 
I got excited.
Posted by beargod, 09:47, 21st July 2003:
 
I thought you were always excited Vic
Posted by Victor Menendez, 09:48, 21st July 2003:
 
no, im always exciting.
Posted by Doctor Lucid, 13:29, 21st July 2003:
 
Well, I guess. Although personally, it seems more like "Hey, x is a girl! That more than doubles our chances of getting it on with each other!".

Hopefully not in a pervy way, and certainly not directed at Freitag or anything like that. It's just, if yr not gay, you're probably not going to flutter yr eyelashes at someone you think is the same sex as you, but you're probably going to at least consider fluttering them at someone who isn't...

I guess this is one of the unforseen circumstances of a medium where
a) You can't immediately tell the gender of people you talk to
b) They're more likely to be a boy

Like, hey, I used to get hours of entertainment by logging into teen chat rooms and saying 55/m/somewhere when ADSLed. But then, I'm easily amused. And not 55.
Posted by Victor Menendez, 13:31, 21st July 2003:
 
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall for the first time.

They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by
two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back
together again.

The boy asked, "What is this, Father?" The father (never having
seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in
my life, I don't know what it is." While the boy and his father were
watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair rolled up
to the moving walls and pressed a button.

The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small
room.

The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small
circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to
watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to
light in the reverse order.

Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24
year old blonde woman stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the
young woman, said quietly to his son "Go get your mother."
Posted by arsepuppy, 13:35, 21st July 2003:
 
:)
Posted by friday, 15:48, 23rd July 2003:
 
Just logged in after last week. Hi everyone! So, Vic, you are exciting, hey?? And now I have got you all excited because Im a girl!!! That's large!
Posted by beargod, 15:49, 23rd July 2003:
 
whats large...OH ok then
Posted by Victor Menendez, 15:52, 23rd July 2003:
 
Sorry darling, only Rosie excites me on this site.
Posted by friday, 15:55, 23rd July 2003:
 
Why is that, because she comes from Staines?
Posted by Rosie, 16:17, 23rd July 2003:
 
"Because she comes from Staines"

Errmm..... Whats that supposed to mean friday? ;)


Vic: ♥
Posted by beargod, 16:19, 23rd July 2003:
 
cat fight cat fight
Posted by Rosie, 16:21, 23rd July 2003:
 
yeah! I'm up for that! BRING IT ON!

:D

*joke*
Posted by beargod, 16:24, 23rd July 2003:
 
can I watch and is it a bra and panties match :D
Posted by arsepuppy, 16:25, 23rd July 2003:
 
I smell a closet wrestling fan.... :)
Posted by Rosie, 16:27, 23rd July 2003:
 
Is it a bra and "panties" match? Wtf does that mean?

Do my bra and pants match or will I be wearing a bra and some pants for the match?

BG, your funny! :D
Posted by arsepuppy, 16:28, 23rd July 2003:
 
It's a WWE/WWF thing
Posted by beargod, 16:29, 23rd July 2003:
 
I am not closet I am totally open about it, plus bra and panty matches are very cool, except we should change the rules, to the fight should only happen when they have stripped each other down very sexily :)
Posted by arsepuppy, 16:29, 23rd July 2003:
 
Two women fight and the object of the match is to strip the other one down to their kecks. Or something.
Posted by Rosie, 16:29, 23rd July 2003:
 
Oh!
Posted by arsepuppy, 16:30, 23rd July 2003:
 
(I should shut up before I say too much.)
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 16:33, 23rd July 2003:
 
too late
Posted by Rosie, 16:33, 23rd July 2003:
 
Hee hee!

Whilst we're on the subject of pants, I've got my new underwear on today. I bought it yesterday. Unfortunately the bra was in the sale and it isn't really my size. But it was 6 quid and its only a little bit tight!...

I was determined to squeeze into the fuckers!

I've got an eye for a bargain me , eh?!
Posted by beargod, 16:34, 23rd July 2003:
 
insane, does it not hurt?
Posted by Rosie, 16:37, 23rd July 2003:
 
No, it doesn't hurt. Its not cutting me or anything. Its just the top part of me that keeps popping out!
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 16:37, 23rd July 2003:
 
and thats not a bad thing
Posted by beargod, 16:38, 23rd July 2003:
 
nope, do we get to see nipples then, if we see you ? :)
Posted by Rosie, 16:39, 23rd July 2003:
 
well, it is when your wearing a tailored shirt and when you turn to the side it looks like you've got 4 breasts.

:(
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 16:40, 23rd July 2003:
 
4 breasts! Cool..
Posted by beargod, 16:40, 23rd July 2003:
 
That will make vic a happy man :)
Posted by arsepuppy, 16:41, 23rd July 2003:
 
2 more and you go to a fancy dress party as an eggbox.
Posted by beargod, 16:41, 23rd July 2003:
 
as long as I love iamcal.com is written on them
Posted by Rosie, 16:46, 23rd July 2003:
 
AP: When I was little I went to a fancy dress party as a bonfire. The costume consisted of a brown curtain tied round my neck with me sewn inside and leaves stapled to the bottom of it. It took about 5 seconds to construct. I don't think my mother could be arsed!
Posted by beargod, 16:48, 23rd July 2003:
 
does she not like you rosie?
Posted by arsepuppy, 16:48, 23rd July 2003:
 
Cool! :)

My mum cut a hole in a binbag once and put it over my head for a halloween party costume. People laughed :(
Posted by Rosie, 16:51, 23rd July 2003:
 
BG: I was a right little shit when I was younger. She was probably getting her own back!

AP: I can sympathise mate!
Posted by Doctor Lucid, 16:58, 23rd July 2003:
 
And to think, everyone disagreed with me when I was commenting on the "Wow, Girls!" nature of some of these threads.

How easily this descended into the "Bra and Panties" theme. How easily my other post descended into a "What sexual act will get me approved."

This is what happens when employers don't let their staff look at porn at work!
Posted by beargod, 17:00, 23rd July 2003:
 
Yes thinking about naked Rosie, is all due to no porn at work :)
Posted by Rosie, 17:03, 23rd July 2003:
 
Naked Rosie looks a mess at the moment - I've got to trim my bush as its getting a bit nasty looking and my toenail polish is chipped.

Also, my legs need waxing.
Posted by Rosie, 17:05, 23rd July 2003:
 
i'm off.

Speak to you all tomorrow

:D

x
Posted by beargod, 17:11, 23rd July 2003:
 
Oh we love you anyway rosie Bye bye
Posted by friday, 09:20, 24th July 2003:
 
Rosie, just logged on now. I said Staines because I was born in Ashford, so am familiar with the area, so if it meant that Vic gets excited about you because you live in Staines, then I had something to add!

"Yeah but I was born in Ashford"

No competition, unless its in a warm pool of mud, with just thongs and cameras, oh yes plenty of cameras. What do you say then Rosie? We could make a mint out of the website we could create!!!!!

*joke*
Posted by beargod, 09:26, 24th July 2003:
 
I think it should be real and not just a joke :)
Posted by friday, 09:30, 24th July 2003:
 
OK, waiting for Rosie to hear her views!!!
Posted by beargod, 09:36, 24th July 2003:
 
I am rosie, no really I am :)
Posted by Rosie, 10:04, 24th July 2003:
 
I'm stoney broke at the minute, so I'm up for it!

:)

Ps: did you go to school in Ashford?
Posted by beargod, 10:09, 24th July 2003:
 
see see I can perve more cos rosie is letting me :)
Posted by friday, 10:11, 24th July 2003:
 
Hi Rosie, I went for a short while to Abbotsford, dont know if its still called that?

ps great, now just to arrange time and venue, which may be difficult, because I am in Africa!!
Posted by Rosie, 10:26, 24th July 2003:
 
What are you doing in Africa friday?
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 10:29, 24th July 2003:
 
Hunting?
Posted by friday, 10:37, 24th July 2003:
 
Enjoying the sunshine and cruising around in a 28 year Land Rover called Grandma, oh and working a bit as well as writing a novel
Posted by Rosie, 10:39, 24th July 2003:
 
Cool!

:)
Posted by friday, 10:40, 24th July 2003:
 
So are you from Staines or you just live there? I remember the big shopping centre, I was there when the Queen opened it!!! I think its called the Elmsleigh Centre?
Posted by Victor Menendez, 10:41, 24th July 2003:
 
Are you Wilbur Smith?
Posted by friday, 10:42, 24th July 2003:
 
No darling, I'm Lara Croft
Posted by Rosie, 10:47, 24th July 2003:
 
Friday: I am from Staines. And the Shopping Centre is still called the Elmsleigh. You were there when the Queen opened it? What year was that? They have added a new part to it now called The Two Rivers. Its got brand new restuarants and larger shops like Currys and Staples,etc.
Posted by friday, 10:53, 24th July 2003:
 
Eh, I cant remember, but its written on the plaque on the fountain, inside, if that is still there? I moved from Stanwell to Somerset in 1985, donkeys years, hey?
Posted by Rosie, 10:56, 24th July 2003:
 
No, the fountain with the naked swimmers isn't there anymore. There was a big campaign to try and get it moved to the new part of the shopping centre - but it never happened! Shame really.

1985? - Not really donkey years ago!
Posted by beargod, 10:58, 24th July 2003:
 
Your shopping center has a part named after a village in The Wheel of Time, cool I wanna go
Posted by friday, 11:00, 24th July 2003:
 
so what happened to the naked swimmers? I remember thinking they were beautiful

*waiting for some bright ass to suggest that this should be the venue for the mud fling contest*

*snigger*
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 11:01, 24th July 2003:
 
Wonder is Perrin, Rand and Matt all live there?
Posted by chandler, 11:03, 24th July 2003:
 
1985 is becoming donkeys years ago. i mean thats nearly two decades ago
Posted by Rosie, 11:04, 24th July 2003:
 
I don't know what happened to them. They have new statues but they aren't as good. I remember thinking that it was great - my mum and I used to throw pennies into it when we were shopping.

*you were meant to do this. it wasn't just us throwing coppers around - the money went to charity or something!*
Posted by beargod, 11:05, 24th July 2003:
 
That would be cool to meet the guys and Egwyn, shes supposed to be very hot :)
Posted by friday, 11:06, 24th July 2003:
 
me and my mum used to say that the cleaners probably took all the pennies
Posted by Rosie, 11:13, 24th July 2003:
 
Ha! Probably!

Staines has got really busy - what with the new shops and new cinema. ( the ABC got shut down and is now river side flats!) All the pubs have been turned into wine bar type places, there are no proper pubs left.
Posted by friday, 11:18, 24th July 2003:
 
Do you remember the jewellers near the town hall who used to advertise his prices in old currency?
Posted by Rosie, 11:38, 24th July 2003:
 
Yeah! Baileys! I live over the top of that shop now, 2 floors up! The town hall is right out side my bedroom window.
Posted by chandler, 11:39, 24th July 2003:
 
spoooooky!
"do you remember that shop"
"i live over the top of that shop"

weird! :D
Posted by Rosie, 11:40, 24th July 2003:
 
Chay: :P

X
Posted by friday, 12:07, 24th July 2003:
 
wow, strange indeed, small world etc
Posted by Doctor Lucid, 12:18, 24th July 2003:
 
Okay, I was about to denounce you all as filthy perverts, but actually it's just Rogie and Frietag realising a series of uncanny coincidences, whilst Baregoad lusts after them both.

Posted by beargod, 12:20, 24th July 2003:
 
I lust after any woman, who wants to take off their clothes :)