iamcal.com Since May 2000

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• Hello!

Is he a complete twat or a very intelligent man?

In my opinion I think its all a bloody stunt and hes a total p*ick for prentending to do something so dangerous and stupid and pointless.

Lets have an I am Cal field trip up to old Davids glass box so that we can pelt him with bricks, eh..?

I think there is food pumped to him through the cables that hold him up

uk.news.yahoo.com/030909/80/e7vbi.html

It is a rather boring thing, he should show his arse off more and people should be allowed to punch him whilst walking past, and use their vehicles to knock over what is holding him up

I'm not sure what to make of him. He's a very strange man, that's for sure. :|

LOL! I like the idea of punching the twat... but i'd rather not see his dumb arse ta very much.

there must be glucose and shit in the water that hes drinking. I hate him. I think hes a loon.

did anyone know that MJ is his favourite fan?

i read on ananova this morning that he had also attempted to cut off his own ear, but then started crying infront of the press because it hurt so much

I saw that thing where he sliced off his ear. I'm sure that it was a trick. God - hes such a fool, it makes me cross.

Hes such an ugly b*stard. And that doesn't help his case any either. The Twat.

By all accounts in the three days he's been up there he's been subjected to eggs,golfballs,pissheads demanding entertainment,perky young breasts, a man with a drum at three in the morning and someone setting up a burger stand and wafting delicious food-smells in his general direction.

who couldn't resist throwing the eggs then, or at least the thought

Someone should try shooting the stoooopid mong. That would be a laugh.

HAHAHHAHAH!

I think he has lsd in his water

Him slicing off his ear thing was a joke, he walked back in shortly after and was fine

"Hes such an ugly b*stard. And that doesn't help his case any either."

ha ha ha ha, nice one Rosie!

How do we know that he hasn't sneaked any pringles or milky ways in his duvet? I don't trust that man - he has piggy eyes.

We don't know we have to trust the bloke who checked him

The big question is, is it art?

I mean, what's the point? If he was doing it to make a statement that the planet needs more trees or something, then I could see the sense in it. I think he just wants to get attention, he had a problem somewhere along the line and he just wants everyone to look at him.

What do you think he could possibly be thinking up there?

Apparantly he wants to know how his mother felt when she was dying. She hung on for ages you see and he read in her journal that she was worried about leaving him. He sat beside her told her not to worry that he was happy and fine and she had done all she could. She then died half an hour later. So they say.

He is doing it for enlightenment and to make loads of cash. I wouldn't do it myself and think he's definitely a bit up his own arse (next trick?) but I'm also intrigued. He'll probably regret it when he dies aged 47 cause he's partially digested his internal organs but you know it's a giggle ain't it.

As for most of his stuff being tricks, well he is an ILLUSIONist.

He will be thinking, hey look i GOT 2 tv STATIONS TO GIVE ME LOADS OF MONEY FOR SITTING ON MY ARSE AND NOT EATING (I could do with a diet anyway) Good job the american tv stations were not as gullable I got more money coming over here, HA HA HA AH AH HA HA HA Watch as I destroy the British economy and see how they dwindle under my magnificece as I say to the news and tv station "This is my art, Live with it or I will get you with my needles of HERRROINNNEEEEE"...

who said it was art? its about earning five million dollars. fair play to him, thats what i say.

He said it was art, he said "Its my art" all the way through the show that they filmed him getting into the box

I could be pursuaded to do such a thing, for 5 million bucks!

I would have to see the money first though, before making an idiot out of myself and justifying it by calling it art

I've just had a dump and it splashed up the side of the bowl. Is that art?



Exactly! Its not art, its bullsh*t!

Come on - lets go throw cakes at him..

..........................

I don't think you would want me to rosie the cakes would not make it to him :)

OK bg, you can throw the bricks.

rosie the cakes?

You gain nothing from your dump and nor does anybody else, aside form mild revulsion of course. If he wants to call it art then why not let him. I'd certainly say his other magic is an art form or at very least physical theatre.

He is finding out how far he can push himself, what his limits are, if he can attain enlightenment and entertain people at the same time. Doesn't make him deep or a hero or anything but it is entertaining. See the last 20 odd posts for proof.

nah, rotten tomatoes would be better

He is not entertaining in himself, we have to think up ways of making him entertaining ourselves with him, people will ignore him and forget about him soon, and in 44 days, if he is still alive no one will think about getting him out

Enlightenment? Pah! Hes a pain in the frigging arse. Why doesn't he go do charity work or adopt a dolphin or something if he wants enlightenment?

Thats what makes me think he maybe is doing it for personal reasons (as well as the cash). If he had said 20 days folk still would have been having these conversations. He went for more than double that though.

He will be entertaining when the second or third week kicks in. When he starts to pull his fingers and wring his hands. I want to see if he tries to attack the box or eat himself. He's as crazy as a loon.

Yeah- lets leave the sad sack of shite up there!

I mean enlightenment in a Buddhist sense.

He will not go crazy, he is high constantly he has trained his mine this way to fight off all hallucinations

friday: that picture you posted of him....is he in his jim jams?

No that is the same clothes he wore when he got in

they look like pjs.

Yeah but thats what you get with a stoned man him wearing stupid clothes

how do they know if he wants to get down?

If he turns into a skeleton whilst up there he gets down.

There is no monitoring equipment up there except the cameras, I expect if the worse comes to the worse they will see him and shoot him to put him out of his misery

uk.news.yahoo.com/030909/140/e7w9v.html

Vic first line, "his art"

Also Why is he supposed to be the modern day Houdini? I don't think he has ever escaped from anything and if he has, has not David Copperfield escaped from more?

uk.news.yahoo.com/030908/325/e7rxx.html

This should make you happy Rosie!

And this is the ear thing

uk.news.yahoo.com/030901/140/e7b99.html

Apparently the Guinness Book of Records turned it down as a record attempt because it's too dangerous and they don't want anyone trying to beat it!

Yep, and they don't do records of people hurting themselves

he's starving himself but he keeps applying lipgloss. now that's mental

Bah! he's no Terry Waite.

His tricks are shit too. My sister taught me the "bring a birdy back to life" trick when I was little. The people on his shows are generally in on the tricks and he has helpers to plant stuff (like cards behind windows etc.) And there was of course that levitation bollocks. The trick when done right looks cool but he then tried to up the ante. By being lifted by sodding cables just out of shot. Bloody charlatan.

and that one with the coins in the coffee cup where he is blatantly pushing the fake bottom of the cup with his hand to make the coins rise up. I mean half this stuff is straight from the Paul Daniel's Magic Set!

I've said it before and i'll say it again, Copperfield and Claudia Schiffer, Paul Daniels and Debbie Magee, now THATS magic!

nappies - oh I was wondering about that

I thought this was a good quote, on a banner, held up whilst DB was being lifted up into the air, from the BBC:-

"A fool chooses to starve himself and we all watch", the banner read. "One billion people have no choice and we ignore them".

yeah - thats about right. is he donating any of this money he'll earn to a suitable charity?

Did you not know he was donating 50% of the money he earns to Charity?

No and hello again jlittle.

I think he should do a stunt straight after of eating too much, that would be funny

KABOOM

well, at least some good is coming from all this bullshit then.

Actually it's not, I was bullshitting. Sorry bout that!

I'm still laughing about the nappies. Has he got a hole to post them through?

I got sent this by my friend Paul;

Here's an idea - we could get loads of microwaves, and modify them to emitting a beam of microwaves, which we could set up some distance from David Blane, and slowly cook him with them!

It would be utterly undetectable...

It would either cook him or give him cancer either way, it got to be good

Yes, it's really nice to wish Cancer upon a person - I really hope that you never get it beagod

Some sick comments on this board sometimes.

way to go right over the top james.

(who's beagod?)

Sorry James, I know how bad cancer is Its been all over my family, and has already scared me

somebody should diddle their wangle at him.

What is the difference to wish death on someone then to wish cancer on someone? I would have thought death worse. And plus he is already going to kill half of his body by doing this when he needn't

It's not nice to wish death upon someone, I agree - but in jest it doesn't sound as bad as wishing cancer on someone - if I were to wish cancer on one of your family members, in jest or not, would you be happy about that and think that it's funny?

Be careful you don't fall off that high horse now.


(oh i'm sorry, i just realised that could be offensive to Roy Kinearr's family)

Or Christopher Reeve.

Or Drew Kirk.

Exactly.

(who's Drew Kirk?)

From Neighbours.

Fell off a horse. Died. It was really sad.

Is that how he died. Bummer. Why was he on a horse?

ho ho ho, very funny. I'm terribly sorry that I feel it's wrong to wish a horrible desease on someone, appologises all round.

Didnt he work in some stables?

I am similarly offended by paintball conversations because thats how PJ (or Duncan) got blinded.

FRIKKKEN PAINTBALLSSS IN HIS EYEEEES!

who is PJ or Duncan

That's a joke, right?

Yeah, I'm not too happy about people talking about hot apples pies. They are no laughing matter. You can burn your toungue if you choose to ignore the "Caution - contents hot" warning on the wrapping.

I've burnt my mouth many a time and its caused dreadful stinging for hours after.

Nah wiyyy man, I'm bleeedin' in both mi eeeee's

er jlittle, no its not a joke

I I I'm not your stepping stone!
(your stepping stone)

our radio, our radio, our radio ROCKS!

friday - it was a stupid kids show that was on about 10 years ago. It was awful.

LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE

I cannae see mon!! DUNCAN!! I cannae seeeee!!!!

And Drew was considering starting his own stud farm out in Oakie, but his job was a mechanic. Tradgedy, real tradgedy.

(see what I mean by everyone being 'tetchy' now?)

Friday, PJ and Duncan were character's from Byker Grove, then after PJ went blind, they left the show, became Ant & Dec, had a lame 'pop' career, presented kids tv very well, then presented saturday prime time tv very badly. Again, tradgedy..
They did go back to Byker Grove a few year's back for Geoff's funeral. He died in a fire. So no fire jokes please.

Stud Farm?

Is that where the crops are men and he sells them to females?

No its where they raise big strong sexy male horses and then sell their jizz :)

thx Rosie, thougt I was missing out on something for a minute

thx Frankie (lol at jizz)

A friend of mine has several stallions at her stud farm, all home bred, but then she sometimes imports semen from europe to introduce new lines. Apparantly and dont ask me how, the semen dissappeared from the fridge and ended up in the grooms porridge, so that was the end of that project, until new "jizz" was ordered from UK

He he he Jizz like what chay puts in his hair so it doesn't stick up

friday - it must be great living where you are. Are you surrounded by animals? Do you live on a farm or something?

I'd love to have a load of animals to look after. Who here was going to buy a pigmy goat? Was it jlittle?

PJ went all freekin loopy man after ee went al blind an that. Joomped aff a great big bridge so ee did. Eeeeeee what a spuggie.

I am surrounded by animals, big hairy-arsed LUL engineers mostly.

Lavishly Underdecorated Labia?

Largely Unused Loophole

LOL!

I'd love to move out to the country and keep chickens and grow hay and stuff.

I can see myself mincing about in the garden picking runner beans with my sun hat on.

Only the sun hat on?

depends on the weather!

Mincing? like in the Book of Isaiah Chapter 3 verse 16?

Moreover the LORD saith, Because the daughters of Zion are haughty, and walk with stretched forth necks and wanton eyes, walking and mincing [as] they go, and making a tinkling with their feet:

:D

:D

LOL!

Theres a dehydrated sponge in the shape of a frog in sainsburys Vic. Shall I get it and post it to you?

When I saw it, it made me laugh so much i had spit coming out of my nose!

HELL YEAH!


That bitch sul is still stalling on sending the Elvis ashtray he promised me :(

I'll try and get it tonight. Its f*cking excellent!

*i knew you'd like it!*

Errr, PJ and Duncon were out of Biker Grove - they are now called Ant and Dec - they present Pop Idol 2 and also presented I'm a Celebrity Get me Out of here - they also have (or at least had recently) a Prime time TV show on Saturdays which the name of escapes me - many people have said that Pop Idol this year would be crap without them, although i'm not a fan of the show anyhow, so I can't comment on that.

They presented Something before Byker Grove, Why Don't you, They also presented Pop Idol, had a kids tv show on CITV after or maybe before SMTV, and they have done lots of things.

They are funny sometimes and are good presenters together

Rosie - It is great living in Africa and I used to have lots of animals but these days I spend my time in my office.

Biker Grove I remember the theme tune, but I never watched the programme.

Why dont you just go and sit down and watch your tv, do something less boring instead, early rapping, it inspired eminem

wasn't that Why Don't You?

yep I loved the irish version, coz i liked the way they said film like, filum

Rosie I menntioned why don't you up there

"and also presented I'm a Celebrity Get me Out of here"

oh what relevance to this thread!!!

Sorry - I've had 2 cans of red bull and my brain is buzzing.

Fork in Eye

This is why we shouldn't mention diseases or injuries on here. It just causes too much bloody bloodshed.

Oh, on that note, I revised the "Blistered Eye" song.
It's now called "One Side will mock another"

Hey you!
I will blist you in your one eye!

Blister! Blistered eye!

Lest it see more, prevent it. Out, vile jelly!
Where is thy lustre now?

Hey you!
I will blist you in your second eye!

Blister! Blistered eye!

(guitar solo)

Good night, ladies; good night, sweet ladies; good night, good night.

Blister! Blistered eye!

Eye!

Doc did you ever fix your eyes and your neck?

I love you Doc.

My right eye actually really really hurts. Every time I inhale smoke I feel like it's going up into my right eye rather than into my lungs. It's bloody wierd.

Cheers Beer lad. You're not so bad yrself.

Why dont you get youe eye removed from your lung then?

Cause, a punctured eye is the lesser of two evils compared to a punctured lung.