Discussion » I Love Rachel Stevens..

This is a read-only copy. The forum ran on iamcal.com from 2000 until its database was lost in 2016, and this topic was rebuilt from copies saved by the Internet Archive's Wayback Machine. Some replies may be missing.
Posted by the don, 23:12, 26th September 2003:
 
Did anyone else watch her on the Jonathan Ross show? Beautiful girl with a smashin personality. That Jeremy Edwards or whatever his name is, is one lucky swine!
Posted by Redmaiden, 18:09, 28th September 2003:
 
erm fuck off she's another boring bint who looks like all the other girls in the charts
Posted by friday, 08:22, 29th September 2003:
 
whose rachel stevens? is she shakin stevens relative?
Posted by Pauly, 09:55, 29th September 2003:
 
No, she's the one from S Club, voted 2nd best looking woman in the world by FHM a couple of years back.

Red: Ha ha ha yeah right.
Posted by Sul, 09:58, 29th September 2003:
 
Im not a fan. It was always Hannah for me. Cal will agree.
Posted by Victor Menendez, 10:04, 29th September 2003:
 
I converted to Hannah when she cut her hair shorter, but i still have feelings for Rachel.
Posted by cal, 10:07, 29th September 2003:
 
sorry, it's hannah all the way.
Posted by frankie, 10:19, 29th September 2003:
 
I've always been on the side of Hannah. Rachel's a bit freaky looking and what's with all those stupid ribbons?
Posted by arsepuppy, 12:04, 29th September 2003:
 
*Ahem*

Tina. ;)


(Rachel is so dull. A bit "Debenhams Perfume Counter")
Posted by Pauly, 12:07, 29th September 2003:
 
Any of them would do, as long as they didn't break into "Reach"...
Posted by Sul, 12:10, 29th September 2003:
 
AP: Take it back, mate! Before the rest of the world sees! Ive respected most of your opinions and agree with the Rachel comment but Tina mings mate. Almost as much as Jo!
Posted by arsepuppy, 12:11, 29th September 2003:
 
I winked, innit
Posted by arsepuppy, 12:11, 29th September 2003:
 
Jo looks like Buzz Lightyear IMO
Posted by Sul, 12:12, 29th September 2003:
 
sorry. Missed the wink :( I just get all worked up in S Club discussions
Posted by cal, 12:13, 29th September 2003:
 
I wouldn't mine hannah singing reach :)
Posted by chandler, 12:16, 29th September 2003:
 
more like "retch"
Posted by arsepuppy, 12:17, 29th September 2003:
 
BURN THE HEATHEN!!
Posted by Sul, 12:18, 29th September 2003:
 
HANGING'S TOO GOOD FOR HIM!!
Posted by Victor Menendez, 12:19, 29th September 2003:
 
pah, Bradley's where its at and you all know it. especially now he's gone for the Compton gangsta look.
Posted by Victor Menendez, 12:51, 29th September 2003:
 



oooohhh
Posted by arsepuppy, 12:55, 29th September 2003:
 
Hannah + Short Hair = Dr Albright off "3rd Rock From The Sun"

*shudder*
Posted by Victor Menendez, 13:15, 29th September 2003:
 
Thats a point, who's more attractive, The Chick from third rock or Kelly from Married with Children?
Posted by Pauly, 13:36, 29th September 2003:
 
Miss Applegate every time!
Posted by turtel, 15:55, 10th November 2003:
 
Hey.... Rachels the best.. She is looking good, singing good, and sounding good.... Rach`s in the house!! :-)
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 15:55, 10th November 2003:
 
Shut up fool!
Posted by turtel, 15:55, 10th November 2003:
 
ooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhh, can`t get enough......
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 15:57, 10th November 2003:
 
Cant get enough what? Slaps round the head? Kicks up the ass?
Posted by arsepuppy, 16:12, 10th November 2003:
 
She's not in my house.
Posted by arsepuppy, 16:13, 10th November 2003:
 
Although I think the Yiddish Pop Pixie is worthy of a good seeing to.
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 16:15, 10th November 2003:
 
Lovely paps but probably a littel short on good conversation.
Posted by arsepuppy, 16:17, 10th November 2003:
 
Probably makes a killer bagel though.
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 16:20, 10th November 2003:
 
bagel? Eh..whats that apart from something I toast with cheese.
Posted by Sul, 16:21, 10th November 2003:
 
(yiddish joke)
Posted by arsepuppy, 16:21, 10th November 2003:
 
She'll be a nightmare in 20 years though.

"Stop kvetching!"

"Eat! You have arms like sticks!"

"Yetta's Moishe is a Doctor??? Oy..."
Posted by Sul, 16:26, 10th November 2003:
 
HAHAHA :D
Posted by Coppers, 16:29, 10th November 2003:
 
Fillet of fish for my vife?
Posted by arsepuppy, 16:31, 10th November 2003:
 
Gefilte fish, dude.
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 16:35, 10th November 2003:
 
eh? What? I dont get the joke! :o(
Posted by Coppers, 16:36, 10th November 2003:
 
That's the stuff. I was just thinking of the Jewish bloke ordering for his missus in an old McDonalds advert. Oy ve!
Posted by Sul, 16:36, 10th November 2003:
 
she's a jew innit
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 16:37, 10th November 2003:
 
ah.
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 17:19, 10th November 2003:
 
Nup, still dont get it. ;o)
Posted by WarHead, 23:36, 10th November 2003:
 
Lovely paps but probably a littel short on good conversation.


That won't matter when she's got her gums around yer plums.
Posted by Redmaiden, 23:42, 10th November 2003:
 
LOL!!
Posted by WarHead, 23:52, 10th November 2003:
 
And the same applies to this young lady.



And would you let this young lady play with yer old man like this?

Posted by chandler, 23:55, 10th November 2003:
 
i turn my back for 2 minutes and iamcal turns into a copy of loaded. :/
Posted by WarHead, 23:58, 10th November 2003:
 
Is this good or bad? Shall I remove the offending items?
Posted by chandler, 00:01, 11th November 2003:
 
well it's not really that sort of forum but then im sure other people wont mind
Posted by cal, 08:09, 11th November 2003:
 
who is it? "kelly" someone the filename suggests
Posted by RUSS, 08:55, 11th November 2003:
 
kelly brook, ex big breakfast presenter. not to sure about the bent over one though altough it is probably her aswell. i don't think rachel is jewish, but she is definately a midget. she must be about 5 foot tall if not smaller.
Posted by ilovebeerme, 10:14, 11th November 2003:
 
i like winona ryder. She can come over my house and nick stuff anytime she wants.
Posted by WarHead, 23:29, 11th November 2003:
 
Dunno who the bent over one is. I just found her while looking for summat else. Trim little figure, don't you think?
Posted by Redmaiden, 23:40, 11th November 2003:
 
trim? no plastic figure
Posted by ilovebeerme, 09:03, 12th November 2003:
 
plastic? Her breasts look to have a pretty natural droop when bending to me. She isn't too skinny. Looks pretty good actually.
Posted by hparnell, 12:04, 12th December 2003:
 
how old is rachel stevens? i thought she was 23 but some half wit saysd she's 17.
Posted by Grim..., 13:37, 12th December 2003:
 
What's that smell?

=]
Posted by Brock, 18:39, 12th December 2003:
 
Ok, I'm a bit behind with all this.

Can I refer to the picture of Kelly Brook a second? How can she *possibly* walk down a flight of stairs without snapping her spine, such is her chest to waist size ratio.

Makes my eyes water to think about it.

No, wait. That might be sweat running down off my forehead.

*snigger*
Posted by Victor Menendez, 21:11, 12th December 2003:
 
Tis true, she's almost as well proportioned as Princess Jasmine.
Posted by spark, 21:16, 12th December 2003:
 
YOU GUYS ARE SICK
Posted by spark, 21:20, 12th December 2003:
 
yOU GUYS ARE SICK
Posted by Brock, 22:10, 12th December 2003:
 
twat.
Posted by Mr.Nishi, 18:00, 13th December 2003:
 
1) We aren't all guys

2) Perving is natural

3) So frikking what

Oh and Kelly Brook was also in Smallville, as Lex's bint and I think she is doing more stuff over there as well.
Lets face it they are all very nice eye candy, but importantly are they any good in the sack/against a wall/etc, and also can they hold a conversation penis?
Posted by Brock, 20:00, 13th December 2003:
 
And do they use their hands...
Posted by wallaby, 13:29, 14th December 2003:
 
i'd like to ejaculate in all of their vaginas, on home video.

thank you, please.
Posted by Mr.Nishi, 21:25, 14th December 2003:
 
hey who did that to my post....oh wait it was cal I guess, how dare you break down my walls of sensitivity that I have tried to construct...wait it isn't working is it ahh well....also i wouldn't of said hands, just lips, tits and clits.
Posted by Sassy, 21:39, 14th December 2003:
 
Are there any girls out there?
Posted by Tesseko, 22:46, 14th December 2003:
 
Sassy it is very possible, why does it matter?
Posted by cal, 23:41, 14th December 2003:
 
roughly half of everyone isa a girl

does that answer your question?
Posted by rachel, 13:20, 24th June 2004:
 
well i must say it is very amusing to see that grown men and women actually contribute to such a sad website rachel steavens wouldnt look at any of you twice and anyway have u seen the girl without her slap! ud be kicking her out of bed! and who actually votes for f.h.m, there are much better looking girls in the world with personalities to match who dont need stylists and makeup artists to make them look half decent!me being one of them1 thankyou and good night
Posted by rachel, 13:21, 24th June 2004:
 
sad sad men!
Posted by Brock, 13:35, 24th June 2004:
 
So people aren't allowed to have an opinion on someone unless they have a fighting chance of sleeping with them, then?

Twat. No-one said "I reckon that I could sleep with Rachel Stevens", just that they thought she was attractive.

And I am quite sure that you are fitter than all the women in FHM when they haven't got any make-up on.

Hahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahaahahahahahha!!!

Not!
Posted by Grim..., 13:41, 24th June 2004:
 
Plus it seemed to take you six months to read this thread.
It's a wonder you ever get to number 1 in FHMGW, but then I suppose that most of it is pictures...
Posted by Saltation, 13:20, 25th June 2004:
 
I reckon that I could sleep with Rachel Stevens

oh wait, brock said noone could say that
Posted by arsepuppy, 15:31, 25th June 2004:
 
I also reckon I could sleep with Shakin' Stevens too.









Hang on....
Posted by Abe Frohman, 15:34, 25th June 2004:
 
'Aint got time to fix the shingles, 'aint got time to fix the floors!
Posted by Sul, 16:53, 25th June 2004:
 
Cat Stevens would've been a better bet before those Muslims got him.
Posted by Grim..., 16:56, 25th June 2004:
 
Hi Sul, how's your head today?
Posted by Sul, 17:57, 25th June 2004:
 
Fine thankyou.
Posted by Saltation, 19:34, 25th June 2004:
 
mine too is super nifty but does anyone think to ask, oh no
Posted by Abe Frohman, 19:47, 25th June 2004:
 
I fear you are missing the point salty, Grim is wondering about Sul's blowjob technique.
Posted by Saltation, 20:02, 25th June 2004:
 
mine too is super nifty but does... oh, wait
Posted by xfilesxfiles, 16:35, 11th July 2004:
 
i wish i could have been the one that played with her toes!!!
Posted by xfilesxfiles, 16:36, 11th July 2004:
 
i'm gonna lick her toes and sniff her soles!! mmmmmmmm!
Posted by Uncle Moc, 23:59, 11th July 2004:
 
O, you wish you could be that one! Sole-less heathen!
Posted by Sul, 00:56, 12th July 2004:
 
Something smells fishy.
Posted by su, 13:31, 12th July 2004:
 
someone took their shoes off, that's why
Posted by mike85, 17:19, 15th August 2004:
 
Hey,i just stumbled across this site by accident but ive got to say i think u're all really funny, keep up the good work!!p.s rachel stevens is hot but shes only 5'4", did u know that?
Posted by Sul, 18:05, 15th August 2004:
 
I heard that because she's so small all those other dancers in the "Some Girls" video were added after so they could digitally make them all smaller. Same sort of thing goes for when she's on top of the pops. I saw her doing that LA-Ex song and it was like watching Thumbelina getting tied up by a few fleas.
Posted by Salman Rushdie, 18:25, 15th August 2004:
 
Yeah, but kylie is 4'11". And she used to be on Neighbours.
Posted by lau, 19:45, 15th August 2004:
 
There's no way she's 5'4". I'm 5'2" and when I saw her at TRL she was smaller then me with her in heels and me in trainers. She is so tiny it's crazy. But perfectly proportioned and quite possibly the most gorgeous woman alive.
Posted by Alfie, 20:13, 15th August 2004:
 
"like watching Thumbelina getting tied up by a few fleas."

hahahhahaa
Posted by Saltation, 09:58, 16th August 2004:
 
"
Posted by Grim..., 13:46, 16th August 2004:
 
Shania Twain is also Super-Tiny - 4'11" apparently.
Posted by WarHead, 13:49, 16th August 2004:
 
But perfectly formed.
Posted by Saltation, 14:10, 16th August 2004:
 
anyone else see a fantastic opportunity here??

all these hot uberbabes. all micro babes.
well
the solution is obvious


world's
hottest
lesbian
dwarf
jellywrestling
league

EVER


hot 5foot on 5foot lesbian action, that's what we want to see.
Posted by cal, 18:07, 16th August 2004:
 
the demand must be huge
Posted by Saltation, 21:06, 16th August 2004:
 
"Five pounds on Kylie!!"

"Not from this angle."
Posted by amander, 16:06, 25th August 2004:
 
hi rach i love all your new songs why carnt u do more like them
Posted by Brock, 16:07, 25th August 2004:
 
She's not here, muppet. It's not a "Contact Rachel Stevens" forum, it's a "Dirty old/not so old men lech at people like Rachel Stevens" thread on a sensible person forum.

Why are you here?
Posted by Brock, 16:10, 25th August 2004:
 
Oh, and in answer to your question, she can't do more of them because she has no talent and has to wait for other people to write them for her.

There's a bit of a backlog at the moment, because her 'chosen' writers have a huge workload on. Apparently Marks and Spencers and John Lewis both want new lift muzak. What are the chances, eh? Miss Stevens is well behind those two in terms of importance, I can tell you.
Posted by Saltation, 22:27, 26th August 2004:
 
she's inersant!

www.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30500-132...

"Erecting ... bums on seats when the ... are opening is proving too difficult."
Posted by WarHead, 09:05, 27th August 2004:
 
The event would also have starred Darius Danesh.

But the paper says that while Rachel's show has been scrapped, a classical concert and comedy night in the nearby Philharmonic Hall are still going ahead.


Hur, hur. I don't think we need say more.
Posted by Saltation, 16:32, 27th August 2004:
 
No. We don't

*resists urge to say more*

*proud*