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• Hello!

Being a mechanic sucked arse.
BID WELCOME TO GRIM... THE SOFTWARE TESTER!

all hail grim...
there will now be a short(ish) period of grim teasing...
everybody ready?
lets begin...

;)

um, big phat cars brum brum 180 squillion miles per hour and and and um...

aghhh my hearts not in it

welcome back grimothy... :D

Did being a mechanic suck or did you suck at being a mechanic? ;)

or did he suck the mechanics and was forced to leave
(sorry)

Holy fucking shit that was lame Chayvid.

did they not let you keep the cars?

Chay: There were 'disagreements' over my pay - basically they didn't give me as much as they said the would.
Vic: I kept one of them :o)

does the one you kept have hooooooooooooooooge turbochargers?

Leave it!!!

We don't want to start an 'episode' ;)

ok :)

Chay: Yes - two of them! Woo-ha!

What's a turbocharger???


(forgive my ignorance on the subject of cars)

Turbochargers are under the gray bits.

oh, ok. I take it they make the car thing go faster, right?

and they do what? inject something into the engine to make it go super fast or something?

It's to do with exhaust fumes. Basically it makes sure exhaust gasses are released quicker. At the same time it ensures clean air is fed to the intake of the car, making the engine perform better.

Someone trip me up if I am wrong??

I think they take the exhaust gasses going at high speed and pump them into the pistons, meaning higher pressure in the pistons, if more gas in pistons, then more fuel can be put in, so a bigger explosion every time the engine ticks, making the car go faster.

Do you concur grim?

Heh

Not really, but close. Hang on, I'll type a nice laymans terms explination.

Correct sir, I got it slightly wrong. It does redirect exhuast gasses into the cylinder head / piston area. Grim should be explaining this if he was a mechanic. Pictures dont do justice if you dont understand?

Is that your Mitsubishi Lancer or is that wishfull thinking??

I Might not be a mech/tech person, but I dont know of many other Mitsu's with that lump under the bonnet!!!!!!!!!!!

Shit got it wrong! It says V6, does that make it a galant with a turbo?? possibly a galant vr4???

Cars need two things in their engine to run, petrol and a combustable material, normally oxygen.
Getting loads of petrol into the engine is easy, but the problem that people face is getting enough air in there with it, the more air, the larger the explosion.
This is how Nitros Oxide helps, pure NO2 is injected into the piston bay and the petrol can combust easier - don't believe silly films, NO2 doesn't actually burn, it's a combustion aid. Anyway, I digress.
A turbocharger is, basically, an air compressor.
Exhast gasses from the car power it, and it forces air into the engine at high pressure for the petrol to combust with.

zzzZZZZZZZZZZ

Rest assured that it does not put exhaust gasses back into the engine - there's very little oxygen in your exhaust gasses, it's all been burnt.

The car is a Mitsubishi GT3000.

So what i said was correct?

You did ask!!!!!

Oh right ok

nope

I second Chay's remark :)

damn you are right i did ask. aggghhhhh.

But then again, I did ask :/

Yup :o)

Damn F5

hahahaaha

Damn, getting it all wrong today!

Is it your Mitsu??? If so, do you have a large gold medallion to go with it?? (no offence meant, just something a Mitsu dealer I know said about the typical people who buy them).

Hmm, no, no medallion for me, and yes, it is my GT (although the photo of the engine isn't my one).

Hang on, typical people that buy them?
There's only about 100 in the UK, the typical people who buy them have normally been searching for years.
Maybe their medallion is some sort of magical scrying device?

They dont look that hoooooooge to me. My uncles got a hoooooooge air compressor for his bouncy castle business. If we hooked that up to his fiesta it'd rock. Right?

If you could hook it up to his Fiesta it'd definatly make it accellerate faster, but how would you power it?

FWIW, I'd much rather have my own bouncy castle than a poxy old car.

It wasn't my words Grim, to be honest I like them and am a fan of Japanese cars (despite my lack of Turbocharger knowledge).

I'd power it using petrol. It's a petrol powered compressor that runs on petrol to get it working.

That'd be pretty complicated - maybe running it as a supercharger would make more sense?

I'd power it with a Flux Capacitor of course. Duh.

88.8 mph????

I promise thats the last time I use it (question mark) more than once.

I thought the Flux Capacitor was an intregal part of the time travel device, not the engine.
Mr Fusion powered the engine, surely?

so your petrol powered air compresor would get the petrol in your main engine going faster? AAaaahhh right Ted, im with you now....:D

And a supercharger is likea turbo that doesn't stop spinning???

Am I nearly there grim?

Gobbo: No, it would allow more of it to burn =]

Wow, that unnecessary bit of attention to detail is a bit, well, gee....Nah, forget I said anything ;)

Jeez, i thought it would be obvious. Plutonium fires the Flux Capacitor, Super-Unleaded powers the car, you go forward to the future, utilise future-technology to convert the car to run on bits of garbage (americanism) powering the Flux Capacitor. return to this time and hey presto, A Flux Capacitor powered bouncy castle compressor.

BAW: Superchargers are much the same as turbochargers, but their compressor runs directly (normally belt-fed) from the engine. The downside of this is that some of the engine power needs to run the supercharger, which makes them less efficient than their exhaust-powered brothers.
There are two reasons that Superchargers exist.
The first is that they were easier to build, and, although turbocharges were not a new idea, it became possible to build them only in about 1940. Superchargers have been around for much longer.
To understand the second reason, you need to understand turbo lag.
Turbo lag occurs when you change gear, or are running at low revs.
Because of the low revs, there are not many exhaust gasses coming from the engine, so the turbocharger only spins slowly, thus it doesn't get much air into the engine.
This never happens with a supercharger as long as the engine is running.

The Mitsi actually uses hybrid chargers, which basically means that at low revs they run off the engine, while at high revs a centrifugal clutch disengases them from their drive and they run purely from exhaust fumes. Not only does this get rid of turbo lag entirely, but it enables the car to clear it's exhaust gasses from the engine quickly enough at low revs.
Loads of power =]

*marks on wrists reappear*

Good, hurry up and die.

:(

And...(and this is me trying to show off my non-existant mech skills) when you first release your foot off the accelerator the revs are still high and so there is very high pressure in the piston even though there are not explosions in the piston, the piston coming upwards in the cylinder is trying to push against oxygen at very high pressure, so it cannot push up very much, therefore it slows down and possible slows the car, this is why on high powered turbos you have a dump valve, it opens up the cylinder to release the pressure so the piston may push up into it.

Very good =]

Push pedal, car goes.

Open door, state destination, car goes. The rest irrelevant.

Personally I prefer Honda's approach, silly cams, high revs, no turbo, High CC to BHP ratio. Thinking about it though, strapping a turbo to my civic could have some interesting effects! What do you reckon Grim?

getting in may be handy too

give me a landrover any day, tough, sounds good, you can stick all your friends inside and drive around the bush and when you have an accident, well, not much happens really, thats why I have one (an old one, not the new kind)

you can also climb over it, dance on the roof, sleep in it, tow horse trailers and lots of other things...

And if you shell out on the new Wolf variant of the venerable 110 defender, you can shatter the UK speed limit whilst having the security of weighing three quarters of a ton.

Thanks grim :)

Landies rock =]

BAW: Is it a Type R?
If so, sell it before the fact that you have to red-line it to get good accelleration of it;
a) Bores you, and
b) Tears the car apart.

Whats that Porsche Cayenne all about? It looks like a 911 on stilts!!!

Whats that Porsche Cayenne all about? It looks like a 911 on stilts!

Whats that Porsche Cayenne all about? It looks like a 911 on stilts!

Whats that Porsche Cayenne all about? It looks like a 911 on stilts!!

GRIM... HATH SPAKE!! ;)

Poor me, bad punctuation = punishment.

911 on stilts eh?
i reckon they would have fallen over much quicker if that had been the case

sorry...

Whats that Porsche Cayenne all about? It looks like a 911 on stilts!!

is 911 on stilts a bit like disney on ice?
sort of a radical freeform dance interpretation of the horrors of terrorism

yey, my last day on here for a while and i've managed to be the victim of verbal abuse!

just my luck

Or the crap journalism cliche:

"like [such-and-such] on [insert drug here, normally 'acid']"

banana splits on crack

46 terraced houses on trinoxihydrocetalene

thora hird on calpol

banana stilts on crack

Ho, ho.

Like [Being} on [Ilkley Moor baht 'at]?

That reminds me. I spent a fortune on therapy and I still have wet dreams about Myra Hindley....

(not really, just incase any Sun hacks are reading)