Discussion » Sledgehammer Of Plot!!!111

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Posted by arsepuppy, 12:26, 30th September 2003:
 
Anyone see 'Stenders last night??? The Big Return of Dirty Den?? It was a fucking genius piece of shite writing, using the MIGHTY SLEDGEHAMMER OF PLOT!!.

1. It opens with Sharon walking along the canal where Den was shot carrying a bunch of flowers like the ones where the gun was. Some kids run up to her and start making shooting noises... See what's happening here??? BANG GOES THE HAMMER!! DRUM THAT FUCKER HOME!!!

2. In the Queen Vic, Sharon is talking to Pauline and the conversation inevitably the subject of Sharon's 'dad' comes up Sharon gets upset....

Meanwhile at the scriptwriter's office...

Writer 1: How do we build up Den's return? Should we slowly build it up with subtle Shakespearian foreshadowing??

Writer 2: Nah, I think everyone should talk about Den, like Poochie off the Simpsons or summat

BANG BANG DEN DEN

3. Phil Mitchell talking to Sam about not trusting "The Watts Family". FFS. Dennis isn't a Watts, neither (technically) is Vicki. Why would he say this???? WATTS!11 YOU SEEE????? IT'S DEN'S SURNAME!!! HE's COMING BACK!!!

4. When Sharon and Dennis partake in some incest lovin' they knock over a picture of Den. THE CAMERA FUCKING FOCUSES ON THIS

5-50odd. Mentioning or making reference to Den all the fucking time.


They should have just had a black screen up with large white letters saying: "DEN COMES BACK IN [countdown in minutes]" for 28 minutes, and then have him just walk into shot, thumbs aloft.
Posted by Sul, 12:29, 30th September 2003:
 
The beginning bit at the canal was hilariously bad. I actually laughed at it. :D
Posted by arsepuppy, 12:29, 30th September 2003:
 
Me too :D
Posted by chandler, 12:31, 30th September 2003:
 
arsepuppy, so Eastenders is absolute shite, and it's taken you how long to work this out?
Posted by Victor Menendez, 12:31, 30th September 2003:
 
I didn't watch it but having applied my patented 'Vanessa Feltz Theory' to Charlie Catchpole's review of it in the paper this morning, i concluded that it must be shite.
Posted by frankie, 12:32, 30th September 2003:
 
I had a conversation along those lines whilst watching it. Although there was less swearing. But did you expect anything more now really?
Posted by arsepuppy, 12:32, 30th September 2003:
 
Fuck you Chay!
Posted by arsepuppy, 12:33, 30th September 2003:
 
The swearing represents anger and frustration.


The monkey represents sharing
Posted by chandler, 12:35, 30th September 2003:
 
hahahahaa
Posted by Gary, 14:07, 30th September 2003:
 
Eastenders is shite beyond belief! Give me Emmerdale anyday... :P
Posted by arsepuppy, 14:10, 30th September 2003:
 
OH MY FUCKING WORD.

EMMERDALE?????

*thudzilla destroys Tokyo*
Posted by Gary, 14:17, 30th September 2003:
 
Ahem, notice the :P, AP.
Posted by chandler, 14:20, 30th September 2003:
 
maybe you should have used ;)
Posted by arsepuppy, 14:23, 30th September 2003:
 
Or even ;P