Discussion » Kitty Wants To Know Who Would Win This Fight.......

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Posted by Kitty, 17:20, 30th October 2003:
 
We have a dazzling paper called 'Metro' which is read by countless thousands on their weary way to work each morning. A couple of weeks ago the question was posed 'Who would win in a fight between 100 duck sized horses and a horse sized duck' .......
Posted by chandler, 17:22, 30th October 2003:
 
the 100 horses would win. 100 horse working together could take down a monster duck
Posted by arsepuppy, 17:24, 30th October 2003:
 
Like fuck they would. The duck would peck them all to death before you could say "glue factory"
Posted by bored at work, 17:25, 30th October 2003:
 
Not sure about that! What if the monster duck trampled them into pate one by one in the style of Godzilla?
Posted by arsepuppy, 17:26, 30th October 2003:
 
I noticed you used the third person there...

Are you Grim... in disguise, Kitty?? ;)
Posted by Kitty, 17:26, 30th October 2003:
 
I'm not so sure about that.... one mighty flap of it's enormous wing could sweep the teeny weeny horses over a cliff to their ultimate doom
Posted by Kitty, 17:27, 30th October 2003:
 
you just couldnt trust 100 horses to get it together into attack formation
Posted by Victor Menendez, 17:28, 30th October 2003:
 
Did the Metro mention this was a cliff-top battle?

I suggest the only way to resolve this is a Poll. (don't forget the Apathy) ((or the Jesse))
Posted by bored at work, 17:28, 30th October 2003:
 
One monster Quack would scare the shit out of the horses! They would run a mile.
Posted by Kitty, 17:28, 30th October 2003:
 
lol not at all - unless he is masquerading as a gorgeous irish woman
Posted by Kitty, 17:28, 30th October 2003:
 
yeah lets do a poll
Posted by arsepuppy, 17:29, 30th October 2003:
 
Mmmm... Irish women...
Posted by Kitty, 17:29, 30th October 2003:
 
calm down puppy don't want you widdling down your leg
Posted by Sul, 17:30, 30th October 2003:
 
I wanted to do a poll but I never got her phone number :(
Posted by Kitty, 17:30, 30th October 2003:
 
lol
Posted by arsepuppy, 17:31, 30th October 2003:
 
(su) poll(ard)?
Posted by Victor Menendez, 17:32, 30th October 2003:
 
Wasn't Sue Pollard at the Flugtag?
Posted by arsepuppy, 17:33, 30th October 2003:
 
That was Brian Dowling.
Posted by arsepuppy, 17:33, 30th October 2003:
 
yeah she was
Posted by Sul, 17:34, 30th October 2003:
 
My stalker barmaid was a pol(l)ish chick. How ironic I ended up scouring every bar in SE1 looking for her.
Posted by Victor Menendez, 17:38, 30th October 2003:
 
And yet she was stalking you?
Posted by Sul, 17:46, 30th October 2003:
 
Yeah but she gave up and I realised I quite liked her so went looking for her. Another story of lost love from me. Awwww
Posted by bored at work, 17:56, 30th October 2003:
 
So you have never seen the pol(l)ish chick again? Ah well.
Posted by chandler, 20:52, 30th October 2003:
 
im sorry. but look imagine there were 100 little vicious tiny rats after you, you couldnt take all 100 of them on at once, you could kick a few, but they would engulf you.

same with horse sized ducks and 100 tiny horses
Posted by Sul, 20:57, 30th October 2003:
 
I agree with Chay. That's exactly how I see it.
Posted by Victor Menendez, 20:58, 30th October 2003:
 
I could take those Bitch Rats! (with the aid of science)
Posted by reitsma, 21:19, 30th October 2003:
 
ok, but that's rats.

the only thing that's menacing about horses is their size - and these ones don't have that anymore.

their teeth would be too small to do anything... they would all choke on one duck feather before they got into any peking hide....

plus if they got too hard to handle, the duck could fly away for a breather, then come swooping back in with a big QUACK!

duck, for sure.

man, imagine the sound of 400 little hooves going 'clip clop clip clop'.
Posted by chandler, 21:28, 30th October 2003:
 
THE HORSES WOULD WIN
it's been proven


by scientists

(also a giant duck would be too heavy to fly)
Posted by Redmaiden, 22:34, 30th October 2003:
 
whatever
Posted by cal, 08:12, 31st October 2003:
 
yeah - because everyone knows that heavy things can't fly

(a boeing 747-400 weighs 379,890kg)

fool
Posted by Grim..., 08:39, 31st October 2003:
 
Yeah, but to be fair, a duck, no matter how big, doesn't have four hooooooooge jet turbines =]
Posted by friday, 08:43, 31st October 2003:
 
Horses are flight animals, not fighters, unless cornered, so it is more likely that they would run away. I also think that the duck would eat them, considering the size ratio.
Posted by Sul, 08:50, 31st October 2003:
 
hang on. How are we measuring this? Height? Body Mass?

If its height then are we going up to neck height or from foot to head? Makes a bit of a difference.
If its body mass then the horses will be quite large and the duck quite small (in giant duck terms) as theyre quite a fat fucker of an animal.
Posted by chandler, 09:10, 31st October 2003:
 
cal, if a giant duck could fly (using scaled up versions of a ducks wings) why arnt there flying animals that big. a duck couldnt just be scaled up and be expected to still be able to fly.
bones in birds are too light after they get to a certain size, so if the ducks bones and body were light enough to fly then he would be so weak that the horses would trample him
Posted by chandler, 09:10, 31st October 2003:
 
the duck would lose and you all know it
Posted by Sul, 09:17, 31st October 2003:
 
Horses are smarter than ducks too. They'd be much more tactical than a stupid giant duck.
Posted by Grim..., 09:29, 31st October 2003:
 
Bullshit Bennet (name the film!), the duck would peck the horses to death - horses have no good offensive moves.
Posted by cal, 09:42, 31st October 2003:
 
you've obviously never played dink smallwood (ace computer game). the giant ducks are pretty tough.
Posted by Sul, 09:44, 31st October 2003:
 
Fucking hell Cal! That was a computer game! THIS IS REAL LIFE!!!
Posted by friday, 09:56, 31st October 2003:
 
I was calculating on a duck the size of a horse and a horse the size of a duck.......?

The duck would win!!!
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 10:00, 31st October 2003:
 
But if the duck was the size of a horse and the horse the size of a ... horse...eh, then the armadillo would win.
Posted by chandler, 10:22, 31st October 2003:
 
"I was calculating on a duck the size of a horse and a horse the size of a duck.......?

The duck would win!!!"

Its 100 little horses!!!! not just one! :D
Posted by chandler, 10:24, 31st October 2003:
 
the horses could kick the duck. like death by 1000 tiny cuts. this would be death to the duck by 100 tiny little kicks.

sure it would take a while and the duck might kill maybe 37 of the horses but it's a sacrifice the horses are willing to make for the greater good.
Posted by friday, 10:31, 31st October 2003:
 
BUT it depends where this fight is because a horses natural instinct is to RUN
Posted by Kitty, 10:38, 31st October 2003:
 
Glad to see the debate still raging! In the ultimate battle for conquest, I'm fairly confident the duck would win. Although the horses would be nippy little buggers and could probably get quite a few bites & kicks in, the enormous duck has height and weight advantages along with those powerful wing sweeps that would make 'road pizza' of the midget equestrians.
Posted by Sul, 10:47, 31st October 2003:
 
Surely a duck's instinct isnt to just stay there and wage mighty war against the tiny ones. Nope the duck would try to run away. But only being able to waddle the horses would trip it up easily. Then roll it over onto its back. Using about 20 of them to keep him still and the other 80 to slowly bite him to death.
Posted by friday, 10:49, 31st October 2003:
 
equines
Posted by Sul, 10:51, 31st October 2003:
 
equeens - the onestop online shop for gay men
Posted by friday, 10:56, 31st October 2003:
 
quick commercial break there Sul?? ;-)
Posted by Sul, 10:58, 31st October 2003:
 
I was hoping to make some extra cash before tonight :)
Posted by chandler, 11:02, 31st October 2003:
 
has anyone seen the news this morning.

talk about coincidence!
Posted by chandler, 11:03, 31st October 2003:
 


So me and Sul were right.

we rule

:P
Posted by chandler, 11:03, 31st October 2003:
 
(there arent 100 there, the others are round the back apparently)
Posted by Sul, 11:06, 31st October 2003:
 
LOL :D
Posted by friday, 11:08, 31st October 2003:
 
so how comes they all look the same then Chay?
Posted by chandler, 11:10, 31st October 2003:
 
well you dont get duck sized horses so the scientist that made them actually made one duck sized horse and then cloned that one, cos he thought it was easier. hence they all look the same.

(if i had a day to spend on it there would be 100 different tiny horses)
Posted by chandler, 11:12, 31st October 2003:
 
the scientist made the duck sized horses cos he knew they were the only thing that could kill the horse sized duck he made the previous week
Posted by chandler, 11:13, 31st October 2003:
 
bloody scientists
Posted by Grim..., 11:14, 31st October 2003:
 
Hang on, there's no real feeling of scale in that picture - how are we to know that it's not 100 ant-sized horses vs a duck sized duck?
Posted by chandler, 11:15, 31st October 2003:
 
as long as they are relative its ok.
Posted by chandler, 11:15, 31st October 2003:
 
are you calling the BBC liars?
Posted by Kitty, 11:18, 31st October 2003:
 
yes I'm gonna call the BBC liars! I've searched all over the net and cannot find this newsflash anywhere! you wouldn't be trying to deceive me with technology??
Posted by Grim..., 11:24, 31st October 2003:
 
CHAY! DID YOU SHOP THAT PICTURE?

DID YOU?
Posted by chandler, 11:34, 31st October 2003:
 
no
Posted by Grim..., 11:55, 31st October 2003:
 




£&^*&^%
Posted by Grim..., 11:55, 31st October 2003:
 
Er... Oops...

*^%$&^(*&%*$
Posted by chandler, 11:56, 31st October 2003:
 
what the fuck!
Posted by chandler, 11:56, 31st October 2003:
 
what did you do!
Posted by Grim..., 11:59, 31st October 2003:
 
Nothing, I fixed it now...
Posted by Grim..., 12:00, 31st October 2003:
 



Biatch.
Posted by chandler, 12:02, 31st October 2003:
 
okaaay
Posted by Kitty, 15:22, 31st October 2003:
 
Hmmm that all seemed to end abit violently.......Kitty thinks will have to suggest calmer topics for discussion in future.
Posted by arsepuppy, 15:39, 31st October 2003:
 
Hang on... the duck's real, right?

For some odd reason, I thought it was a big rubber duck :/
Posted by Sul, 15:41, 31st October 2003:
 
One key away from a fucking great typo there mate ;)
Posted by Mr.Nishi, 15:50, 31st October 2003:
 
Wait we ahve the final solution to this problem...Google Fight

And I think ou'll agree that it is the right result....Also we* would make sure that each of the horses were different as how do ou name 100 identical duck-size horses?


*As evil scientists that would do this
Posted by Mr.Nishi, 15:50, 31st October 2003:
 
Wait we ahve the final solution to this problem...Google Fight

And I think ou'll agree that it is the right result....Also we* would make sure that each of the horses were different as how do ou name 100 identical duck-size horses?


*As the evil scientists that would do this
Posted by Kitty, 16:13, 31st October 2003:
 
I offically pronouce the horse sized duck the winner!!!!!!!
Posted by arsepuppy, 16:17, 31st October 2003:
 
In your face Chay, you big hippy!
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 16:22, 31st October 2003:
 
Ducks are only good for one thing - eating.
Posted by chandler, 16:29, 31st October 2003:
 
yeah
Posted by Mr.Nishi, 16:32, 31st October 2003:
 
as are horses...well with a good sause.

And baby ducks are great for walking by with girls cos you can be all "Ahh how loverly" and they will be "Humm a sensitive guy, I like to sleep with gus like that." well that's the theory
Posted by arsepuppy, 16:33, 31st October 2003:
 
It works, that one.
Posted by Kitty, 16:40, 31st October 2003:
 
so I take it you have managed to pull a bird using a bird then?!
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 16:40, 31st October 2003:
 
Lesbo action?
Posted by Kitty, 16:42, 31st October 2003:
 
lol
Posted by Kitty, 16:42, 31st October 2003:
 
not exactly what i was implying but funny all the same
Posted by Kitty, 16:44, 31st October 2003:
 
but on another tangent......why are men obssessed with lesbians? Any self respecting right-on sister(s) wouldn't entertain men anyway!
Posted by Mr.Nishi, 16:49, 31st October 2003:
 
Well kinda...it has worked..once, a little. I have used girlfriends as leverage to get other women to fancy me and then 'moved on'.

It's the unobtainable thing, and that women can do stuff to women that men can't and we get jealous:-(
Posted by Kitty, 16:50, 31st October 2003:
 
lol
Posted by chandler, 16:50, 31st October 2003:
 
"women can do stuff to women that men can't"

what can women do to women that men cant?
Posted by Kitty, 16:51, 31st October 2003:
 
probably get them to orgasam for a start! ba boom!
Posted by cal, 16:53, 31st October 2003:
 
look attractive. have babies. etc.
Posted by chandler, 16:59, 31st October 2003:
 
no, the question was not "what can women do that men cant" but "what can women do to OTHER WOMEN that men cant".

babies would be out of that list Cal.
Posted by chandler, 17:04, 31st October 2003:
 
basically all i was saying to Mr.Nishi that as regards
"women can do stuff to women that men can't and we get jealous:-("

speak for yourself!
Posted by cal, 17:31, 31st October 2003:
 
my answer still stands - women can provide other women with babies
Posted by chandler, 17:48, 31st October 2003:
 
but we can provide them with stuff to make their own babies
or moisturiser if they dont want babies
Posted by Redmaiden, 20:27, 31st October 2003:
 
LOL @ moisteriser *yummy*
Posted by chandler, 20:46, 31st October 2003:
 
;O
Posted by Mr.Nishi, 13:17, 1st November 2003:
 
Haha, thats a very ecellent argument...or a protein rich meal I guess aswell

Chandler:- I would never presume to speak for anyone else on here, that would make it a bit boring/futile. I should put gay men on there as they are just much better at the whole comforting thing and the other bits that i personally suck at.