Happily i left work and walked with a spring in my step to Vauxhall station after a shitty day in work, five mins later, a putney-bound train arrives and i promptly board, I find myself a seat on the other side of the old-slam door train and sit down by the door. After a few moments the train sets off and i read my copy of the standard, I soon notice a draught and looking around for an offending open window i notice that the door i am sat next to is actually not closed correctly. Being a public spirited chap (and not to mention a bit stupid) I decide, in a moment of startling fuckwittedness to open the door and slam it. Without hesitating to think this through properly i promptly open the catch and WHAM! The wind grabs the door from my feeble grip and slams it all the way open against the side of the train. Pandemonium eurupts through the carriage as people leap up to defend themselves against the suicidal al-quaeda type i obvously am. I swiftly apologise and begin to think of a plan, Swiftly discarding the idea of leaning out over the oncoming track and trying to wrestle the door closed against the wind,I sit gazing at the cold and dangerous track whizzing by. I decide that the only thing to do is to sit there like a lemon until the train arrives at Clapham Junction. So there i sit, with people staring at me in contempt as i pray another train doesnt come the other way. the open door noisily banging against the outside of the train every so often, until we ghost into Clapham Junction and a whole platform of people wonder which idiot opened the door mid-journey.
The moral of the story?
I am a fucking clueless idiot.
On the flipside though, I got Futurama series 3 and Brewsters Millions on DVD.
Posted by
Brock, 17:40, 2nd February 2004:
LMGDAO!!
Posted by
Sul, 17:44, 2nd February 2004:
Hahahaha! You knob. I know someone who will not get on a slam door train because that happened to them once. Shit scared they are.
My futurama series 3 DVDs were taken in by my sister this morning after the lovely amazon folk delivered them. I shall pick them up on my way home along with some lager and fags.
I am indeed a clown, And there were a few people on that train who probably will not get on a slam door train with me now.
Posted by
Sul, 17:54, 2nd February 2004:
I bet 99% of the people on your carriage start a dinner time conversation with the phrase "You'll never guess what this stupid cunt did on the train today".
Hehehe :)
Posted by
Miki, 17:54, 2nd February 2004:
LOL :D
Posted by
jeffld, 18:03, 2nd February 2004:
You maybe an idiot, but that is still an excellent story.
I have a story, but not nearly as interesting:
One day I was driving one of my fathers trucks to a job and one of the front wheels came off and I saw it rolling into the entrance of a gas station and it ran into the Garage door. I'm sure it must have made a hell of a noise when it hit.
I was going pretty slow. About 25mph (don't ask me what it is in kilometers) then I felt the truck lean over and so I put on the brakes and the truck rolled to a stop leaning on the brake rotor. Fortunately noone was injured.
My father was in another truck following me and we managed to get the truck fixed. It was just some loose lug bolts. We had lost all the lug bolts on the one wheel so we took one off of each of the other wheels so that we could at least pull the truck off the road.
This happened a long time ago. I was just a teenager then.
Posted by
WarHead, 23:28, 2nd February 2004:
Hmmm. I have a train story too.
Many, many years ago I was catching the train from Mcr Piccadilly to Stretford and as I got on to the platform the train was already there, so I jumped aboard.
Off we went. Stopped at Oxford Rd, as expected .... but not at Deansgate, which puzzled me, and then the damn thing didn't stop at Old Trafford, Warwick Road, Stretford, or any station until Altrincham.
I got of there and told the ticket inspector what had happened, and he told me I'd got the Chester train by mistake, but not to worry, just go over the bridge and get the next train going back.
I took him at his word, the silly sod, because the next train back was the Chester-Manchester train which ALSO didn't stop at Stretford. I had to go all the way back to Oxford Rd again.
I made damn sure that the next train WAS the local that stopped at Stretford.
And it was a bollock freezing winter day.
Posted by
reitsma, 00:39, 3rd February 2004:
i've got a generic train story:
there's a sticker on every train in sydney that says:
"At night, travel near the guard's compartment marked with a blue light"
Vandalists / decorators like to adjust the sticker to read:
"At night, rave neat the guard's compartment na ked with a blue light."
:o)
genius.
Posted by
arsepuppy, 10:22, 3rd February 2004:
I got my head stuck in those slding door things on the old 'sprinter' trains once. it started moving and everything.
Posted by
tommorris, 12:29, 3rd February 2004:
The funniest thing is being at London Bridge (or another big station) and directing drunks on the wrong train.
"Is this the ...hic... Romford train mate?"
"Yeah mate"
As it pulls off and he's on the non-stop to Southampton, you sit back and giggle quietly to yourself. Much fun.
Posted by
RUSS, 14:09, 3rd February 2004:
remind me not to bump into you when i've had a few!!
i think i'm the worlds worst pissed traveller as it is!