Posted by
Brock, 21:22, 2nd February 2004:
Right. I have a kind of old flat. It has a fireplace in the bedroom, that has been sealed off with a big wooden board (4ft square). I live right in the centre of a medium sized town. There are a fair few pigeons in this town...
I think some of you may be starting to see where this is going.
I was awoken by a large bang at about 10ish on Saturday morning. I had a look around, saw nothing and ignored it, thinking it was someone in the flat below/outside etc. I was woken again on Sunday morning at roughly the same time by some more bangs and lots of scuffing/scratching, etc.
I have since determined that a stupid fat twat pigeon has fallen down my chimney and is now in the fireplace behind the board.
i am a bit of a softy, so don't want to wait till it dies and then get it out, so me and a mate from work have spent an hour and a half taking the bloody wall apart and taking the fireplace to pieces to extract the little fat bastard.
It culminated in us finally getting it down into my bedroom and trying to shoo it toward the window with a pair of blankets over us like cheap halloween costumes and giggling like a pair of 8 year olds! Very, very funny, but made us look like a pair of twats, sadly.
All's well that ends well, as the little sweetie flew to freedom a short while ago...
The people over the road must have wondered what the hell was going on!!
Posted by
tommorris, 21:27, 2nd February 2004:
That's almost as funny as when a bat tried to make a new home for itself inside the darkroom (well, loft) at my house.
Posted by
Brock, 22:59, 2nd February 2004:
I have to say (after a few calming drinks with the delightful barmaids at my local) that I have never jumped so much in my life as everytime the stupid arsed bird flapped about! We were trying to get it down from the little ledge just up the chimney (and almost out of sight) from the opening, and we were jumping out of our skins every time the bloody thing flapped it's wings!! It was so LOUD!
We kept collapsing in fits of laughter cos of how crap we were being, two 31 year old blokes vs a poxy bloody pigeon stuck in a chimney!
Still at least it survived and flew out the window with no damage. Rather it hadn't been hurt and all that, being a big softie with animals!
Posted by
friday, 14:53, 3rd February 2004:
ahhh come on Brock - you just told that story to the barmaids, to show your feminine side and try to win them over that you are like, really concerned with animals
;-) (joke - the story could be true!)
I say this because a good male friend of mine just bought a jack russel puppy and he says he is going to walk it around town with a big chain on its neck - so that all the girls go ahhh look at that lovely puppy - then he can get a chance to chat them up
Posted by
Brock, 15:24, 3rd February 2004:
friday: But the barmaids don't read the threads on this site! So how does that work?
Posted by
friday, 05:57, 4th February 2004:
I thought you told the story to the barmaids? Must have read it wrong!
Posted by
WarHead, 13:46, 4th February 2004:
Was Lynda a real shortarse, or was she just on her way up (or down) to/from a blowjob?
Posted by
tommorris, 19:43, 4th February 2004:
No, she is playing Gimli in a pigeon-based cinematic version of Lord of the Rings.
