Posted by
Sul, 11:52, 16th February 2004:
Well I was running late. When I got down to the station they'd cancelled the 07:40. "Oh crappedy crap", I thought using my rather profane vocabulary. When I got my ticket the man in the office said, "You could catch the Gravesend train and get the fast from there". It seemed like a good idea. It seemed like a very good idea. Not only was it a good idea but it would be a mini adventure for a Monday morning. A change from the norm. Something to chat about during coffee breaks. As I walked down the opposite side of the platform I mused about how my co-workers would react to my tale of one-upmanship. I looked across the to the opposite platform, scanning the 30 or so waiting commuters. On their phones complaining that their train was cancelled. I stifled a little laugh as I thought what fools they were. In a few minutes I'd pass them on my super speeding train, perhaps pulling a childish face with my my tongue protruding from my mouth. What were they going to do? I was going at 70Mph. Not even a really offended cheetah would be able to catch me.
The train showed up. I got on. It pulled away. I was officially embarking on the first steps of my magnificent voyage. It felt strange. By golly it felt strange. I was heading east when I should be heading west. I was going in the wrong direction to get in the right direction faster! If I had told someone what I was doing at that moment they would have laughed me off as a madman. "You're crazy!", they'd shout, "you're crazier than crazy Brian who lives in crazy castle upon crazy mountain in crazyville! That's how crazy you are!". I felt like a modern day Columbus. They said he would surely fall off the end of the Earth. He and his men were idiots to believe the world was round. But they did believe. Just as I believed in what I was doing. I was a modern day Columbus. A radical. Going against the grain. I'd be hailed a hero when I proved the non-believers wrong. I'd laugh in their faces. Like this - "MWAHAHAHA". Got that?
After all this thinking I was surprised to find that I was at Gravesend. I was ready to move on to stage two of this profound journey. I got off the train and looked at the boards. My eyes darting for the next train to London. Where was it? Did I need to change platform. Could I possibly run over the bridge? I was still a little groggy from lack of sleep. Running didn't seem possible but if required I'd do it. I'd do it not only for me. I'd do it for the sake of every commuter. Every person who'd ever missed a train by seconds. Every man, every woman, every child who had no choice but to use a rail system run by monkeys who fail to make the grade to be paraded around at London Zoo. I'd do it for the sake of humanity. I'd do it for the dream! If need be, I'd run my little socks off - for the dream.
My eyes were beginning to hurt. My brain quickly joining them. Humming the same painful notes. It couldn't be true. The next train to London was leaving at 07:52? That couldn't be right. If that were the case then the train I just got off of was that very train the departure boards were touting as the next train into London. Not only was it that train but it wouldn't get me there any faster than if I had waited with the others on the train platform. Careful checking showed that the boards were correct. There was no faster way. I looked to the sky and saw my dream drift away. Once again I had failed. My beliefs raised before my eyes and shattered by the hammer that is the rail network. Just like every Monday morning. Carrying the pieces of my broken dignity, I boarded the train. I sat back down in the same chair that carried me and my hopes into Gravesend. It was now to carry me back. Instead of the great expectations I was piecing together minutes earlier, I would now be trying to piece together that dignity formerly pointed out to be broken. Just up there, see? I looked at my faint reflection in the dirty glass window. "One day", I thought, "one day I'll be looking into a very similar dirty window and a hero will be staring back at me. I'll show them. I'll show them all."
And I will.
Was it a slam-door train?
Never mind, I'm off to London Bridge, which, I am reliably informed, Is falling down, falling down.
Posted by
friday, 12:35, 16th February 2004:
excellent
Posted by
Sul, 12:36, 16th February 2004:
No it wasnt a slam door train. It was one of those ones that go *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *whoooosh* *clink* *clunk*.
I hope London Bridge is back fixed by this evening. I wont be able to get home otherwise.
Posted by
RUSS, 12:43, 16th February 2004:
it must have tken you nearly all morning to write your story!
Posted by
Sul, 12:54, 16th February 2004:
Yeah pretty much. I've been working too. Honest, Guv!
another one for the book..
Posted by
tommorris, 13:47, 16th February 2004:
If you need a reclusive old miseryguts who has a pretty sharp eye for punctuation, spelling and grammar, I'm here and my editorial services are dirt cheap.
Posted by
Brock, 13:51, 16th February 2004:
Can I join the editorial team? I'm bored to death of this crap where I work...
Posted by
friday, 15:42, 16th February 2004:
I am entering a writing contest very shortly and I don't think I have all the know how on correct punctuation - especially for a competition - maybe if I post my story here, you can pull it apart for me?
Posted by
friday, 15:42, 16th February 2004:
and then help me put it back together again?
Posted by
Brock, 15:43, 16th February 2004:
I'm game. Post away, or e-mail me direct might be easier if you want?
Anything to liven my life up...!
I'm home now, London Bridge is working again. (apart from one of the escalators, which wasn't my fault)
Posted by
Uma, 16:55, 16th February 2004:
Sul, you have missed your calling. Really.
Posted by
jeffld, 20:11, 16th February 2004:
I've used that technique before on the Chicago elevated trains. Except in my case it was getting on the southbound train to go south a few stops so that you could get a seat on a northbound train!
My girlfriend at the time thought I was crazy because she didn't understand why I wanted to get on the southbound train until I explained that if we travelled a few stations to the south, there would be plenty of empty trains and we wouldn't have to fight the crowds to get a seat.
Whenever there is a big event in Chicago, such as the "Blues Fest" or the "Taste of Chicago" All the suburbanites go to Grant Park to enjoy the festivities. A lot of them take the Elevated train because it is much cheaper and easier than parking in the city.
Posted by
Sul, 20:34, 16th February 2004:
Oh but it worked for
you didnt it. Tsk
Chicago has Elevated trains? Cool, London should have those too. Think of it, not more
crappy underground air, you could choose, underground, overground, bus. So many more options,
less crowded (Fucking Northern Line)
woooooo
although the billions of pounds it would cost to build MAY be an issue...
Posted by
Sul, 20:53, 16th February 2004:
The DLR is sort of the same at points.
Posted by
Sul, 20:53, 16th February 2004:
I've always liked the DLR. It's like a rollercoaster. So much fun. :)
oooh yeah! that but up by poplar :) fun!
Not that i know the London transport system at all...
Posted by
cal, 11:34, 17th February 2004:
the dlr is fun - it just needs to go alot faster. and have loops