iamcal.com Since May 2000

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• Hello!

Oh hang on, I just had to wait longer. Silly me.

Okay okay....

I make that mistake all the time, try not watching it next time

Y'know, Abe, you go on about Uma's posts and then YOU start a load of stupid threads just to have a pop at her. I really don't know what your problem is with her, but could you exercise a little more tolerance?

Cheers.

In fairness, they were funny in the context that they were posted, and I think even Uma chuckled a little bit...

Anyway, he's just picking a fight with someone thousands of miles from him who couldn't possibly fight back, you know. It's not as if he's doing anything cowardly...

;)

I dunno, I thought some of it got a bit OTT. Maybe I'm wrong.

Yeah, I thought this :

"I once possessed a pornographic Snow White and the seven dwarves in which the dwarves taught her the 'tricks of the trade' and then Prince Charming tipped up and drilled her right where all but proctologists fear to tread.

So who are you in this performance again Uma?"

...was uncalled for and quite distasteful, not to mention that it's rather low to insult someone's gender just because one can't think of anything else to say. However silly and idiotic I may have been, I have not resorted to this kind of sexual intimidation, and quite frankly, it says more about Abe than it can ever do about me.

Exactly how did insult your Gender? Is this like when you irrationally accused me of Anti-Semitism? Why don't you claim i'm a Nazi war criminal while you are at it?

Can't think of anything else to say? You're the one who started that ridiculous 'seven dwarfs' thread WTF is that all about? At least when i make the point 'You are an annoying liar who spills everything in her head that passes for a thought onto this site with no regard for just how irritating it is to sift through dozens of your idiotic LOLOLOL type crap for the rest of us.'

Oh and tell me, what does it say about Abe?

Hey Uma? I get the slightest feeling that you may have pissed him off, there.

(And frankly, I can't see the gender insult either)

You were having a bit of a pop at him in that thread and he retaliated. You haven't got too much to moan about there, really. If you don't want to be abused, then don't start on one of the best insulters on the site.

In my humble opinion, and all that. Values of opinions may go up as well as down etc., etc.

Thank you sir.

*doffs cap*

But I'm not gay or 'owt.

Okay, fair enough, that anti-semitism thing *was* stupid. I apologise for that. That little story up there is offensive to me as a woman, as you intended it to be. If I have to point that out to you, then you're stupid. Insensitive, immature, and stupid.

Again, I fail to see the 'offensive to you as a woman' bit. Large helping of over reaction there. The habit of twisting a thread back to it's original meaning as a way of poking fun at someone after it has digressed from the subject is all part of the wordplay and enjoyment of this site.

It was hardly calling you a slut Uma. Take a chill pill. Worse things have been said in a much more direct way to loads of other people. I thought it was amusing, and intended to be a light hearted insult. Of which this site is jam packed with.

/shrugs

Much fun as it would be to keep chipping away until you have conceded every point, I'm bored. Cock off.

Nice try Abe, but I'm not buying it.

Brock : there's nothing light hearted about what he has said to me. He's been nothing but rude and mean.

Uma, a blind man on a galloping horse can see that you are a very annoying person, and if you can't handle Abe's rudeness or meaness just log off and phuck off.

who asked you?

LOOLOOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLLOOLOL

To coin a phrase.

Brocks got it right. We're a big bunch of piss-takers. The pornographic references used to be much more abundant around here and you just have to look at Nov for baiting and suggestions towards involvment in the business. Stop crying about it you big girl's blouse.

hehehe

I'm off now, I shall leave this thead in the extremely capable hands of my new personal heroine Janine.

one of your aliases I presume?

/claps for Janine. Way to go, girl

Uma: Reference light hearted or not. Try reading the stuff that me and Abe have been trading for the last month or so. If I was a fraction as touchy as you, i'd have either knifed myself, (or if a clearer thinker) gone down to Baker Street station and knifed the fat twat. So to speak.

An insult remains light hearted purely and completely in the context that it was issued. The way you interpret that insult in no way affects the vein in which it was meant. Basically, if you take a comment over seriously, then that is (in the nicest possible way, seriously) YOUR problem.

Has it occured to you that the reason this has got so daft is because you keep rising to the bait? If you don't like what he says, ignore him. What the fuck do you care what some bloke thousands of miles away thinks of you on an internet forum? Chances are you will never meet him anyway. Chill, Dude!

;)

talking of kettles, mine won't boil either. fucking limescale.

I don't need to be asked, I use my initiative.

Brock : hehehe okay! (but maybe I *do* know him)

;)

...interesting little microcosm, though eh?

I *do* have to go now, though, so I can't wait for you all to look up 'microcosm' I got loads of work to do! Grrrrr. mondays

Jesse...

Dear god.

Fork in my eye.

"so I can't wait for you all to look up 'microcosm'"
um, what do you mean look it up? it's hardly an obscure word. :)
and the "small" adjective isn't really necessary :P

%^*&(%*^%£

That's your "superfluous" coming out again, eh?

Richard Tham!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"it's hardly an obsure word. :)"

Alfie - The word is "obscure".

cor, its like pedant central round here today..

it's

see?!

I need to post something here that won't make me look like a complete twonk.

Nope, can't think of anything.

WarHead, we get blastd fore takin' threds in2 the bedrum and nobody minds the peeeeeeeedantry

You are all very unsexy. Hmf. (except warhead)

I don't give two tuppeny turds. Let them be like that if it makes them happy. After all, I'm no stranger to Pedant City myself.

Either shut up or fuck off please uma

up yours jeff

Well, Jeff, that was clear, concise, complete, but not exactly correct.

...not exactly correct?

He didn't put a capital letter on your name. Or a comma after 'please.'

jeff is a she

its short for jeffica

Really? Golly. No offense, jeff. Most people I know called jeff are blokes.

...s/be jesse then. But still.

And I would absolutely refute the suggestion that we are all unsexy, that's for sure.

I am unable to comment further for legal reasons.

urgh this is getting very tiring, where's RedAndWhiteMan to sort this dumb cretin out?

ap - feck damn!

Yet you still edit in a shoddy attempt to save face :)

Ok lost the blonde girl again

???

Hang on, I'll rephrase.

Dear Uma,

I would very much appreciate it if you could either stop complaining about this site or fuck off. I believe most people here would prefer the latter suggestion, however the choice is entirely yours.

Please.

Regards,

Jeff

"however the choice is entirely yours"

exactly.

when did I complain?

In fairness, you moan about the way people that have been on this site for years are acting...

Oopsies. Should I have gone -------------->JOKE ALERT : please note this is a joke : "WarHead, we get blastd fore takin' threds in2 the bedrum and nobody minds the peeeeeeeedantry
You are all very unsexy. Hmf. (except warhead)" PLEASE NOTE THE ABOVE IS A JOKE

Jeeeeesus. And you call me uptight. (joke)
(joke)
:)

Uptown girl
She's been living in her uptown world
I bet she never had a backstreet guy
I bet her mama never told her why

I'm gonna try for an uptown girl
She's been living in her white bread world
As long as anyone with hot blood can
And now she's looking for a downtown man
That's what I am

And when she knows what
She wants from her time
And when she wakes up
And makes up her mind

She'll see I'm not so tough
Just because
I'm in love with an uptown girl

You know I've seen her in her uptown world
She's getting tired of her high class toys
And all her presents from her uptown boys
She's got a choice

Uptown girl
You know I can't afford to buy her pearls
But maybe someday when my ship comes in
She'll understand what kind of guy I've been
And then I'll win

And when she's walking
She's looking so fine
And when she's talking
She'll say that she's mine

She'll say I'm not so tough
Just because
I'm in love
With and uptown girl

She's been living in her white bread world
As long as anyone with hot blood can
And now she's looking for a downtown man
That's what I am

Uptown girl
She's my uptown girl
You know I'm in love
With an uptown girl
My uptown girl
You know I'm in love
With an uptown girl
My uptown girl

We built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll
Built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll
Say you don't know me, or recognize my face
Say you don't care who goes to that kind of place
Knee deep in the hoopla, sinking in your fight
Too many runaways eating up the night

Marconi plays the mamba, listen to the radio, don't you remember
We built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll

Chorus:
We built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll
Built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll

Someone's always playing corporation games
Who cares they're always changing corporation names
We just want to dance here, someone stole the stage
They call us irresponsible, write us off the page

Marconi plays the mamba, listen to the radio, don't you remember
We built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll

Chorus:
We built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll
Built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll

It's just another Sunday, in a tired old street
police have got the chokehold, and we just lost the beat!

Who counts the money underneath the bar
Who rides the wreaking ball into our guitars
Don't tell us you need us, 'cos we're just simple fools
Looking for America, coming through your schools

(I'm looking out over that Golden Gate bridge
on another gorgeous sunny Saturday and I'm seeing bumper to bumper traffic.

Don't you remember (remember)

(Here's your favorite radio station, in your favorite radio city
The city by the bay, the city that rocks, the city that never sleeps)

Marconi plays the mamba, listen to the radio, don't you remember
We built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll

Chorus:
We built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll
Built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll

Chorus:
We built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll
Built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll

(We built, we built this city) built this city (we built, we built this city) (repeats out)

ap? You're a weird guy, dude.

I'm bored so I'm entertaining myself with some karaoke.

Man, I was hoping it was a cryptic quiz of some sort.

I had B, O and S. I was hoping the answer was going to be Bruce Springsteen.

Billy Joel and Starship?

Christ, that's bored. I assume from that you must have already passed the 'pulling fingernails out for a laugh' stage?

Try soaking rusty pins in piss and then sticking them into your eyes. Always brightens up the day and gives you something to think about, that.

Note to self: Joel not Ocean you dumbass.

Take my advice folks, Think before you post

take me now baby here as I am
pull me close, try and understand
desire is hunger is the fire I breathe
love is a banquet on which we feed

come on now try and understand
the way I feel when I'm in your hands
take my hand come undercover
they can't hurt you now,
can't hurt you now, can't hurt you now
because the night belongs to lovers
because the night belongs to lust
because the night belongs to lovers
because the night belongs to us

have I doubt when I'm alone
love is a ring, the telephone
love is an angel disguised as lust
here in our bed until the morning comes
come on now try and understand
the way I feel under your command
take my hand as the sun descends
they can't touch you now,
can't touch you now, can't touch you now
because the night belongs to lovers ...

with love we sleep
with doubt the vicious circle
turn and burns
without you I cannot live
forgive, the yearning burning
I believe it's time, too real to feel
so touch me now, touch me now, touch me now
because the night belongs to lovers ...

because tonight there are two lovers
if we believe in the night we trust
because tonight there are two lovers ...

Patti Smith. (googled, sorry!)

Sul: Twat!

Thats me

You just know he's looking for something really obscure now, don't you?

Young Parisians are so french, They like Patti Smith.

Nah, I was thinking of that song cos Mr Springsteen wrote it.

In the day we sweat it out in the streets of a runaway American dream
At night we ride through mansions of glory in suicide machines
Sprung from cages out on highway 9,
Chrome wheeled, fuel injected
and steppin' out over the line
Baby this town rips the bones from your back
It's a death trap, it's a suicide rap
We gotta get out while we're young
`Cause tramps like us, baby we were born to run

Wendy let me in I wanna be your friend
I want to guard your dreams and visions
Just wrap your legs 'round these velvet rims
and strap your hands across my engines
Together we could break this trap
We'll run till we drop, baby we'll never go back
Will you walk with me out on the wire
`Cause baby I'm just a scared and lonely rider
But I gotta find out how it feels
I want to know if love is wild
girl I want to know if love is real

Beyond the Palace hemi-powered drones scream down the boulevard
The girls comb their hair in rearview mirrors
And the boys try to look so hard
The amusement park rises bold and stark
Kids are huddled on the beach in a mist
I wanna die with you Wendy on the streets tonight
In an everlasting kiss

The highway's jammed with broken heroes on a last chance power drive
Everybody's out on the run tonight
but there's no place left to hide
Together Wendy we'll live with the sadness
I'll love you with all the madness in my soul
Someday girl I don't know when
we're gonna get to that place
Where we really want to go
and we'll walk in the sun
But till then tramps like us
baby we were born to run

If there's anything you need
All you have to do is say
You knew you satisfy everything in me
We shouldn't waste a single day

So don't stop me falling
It's destiny calling
A power I just can't deny
It's never changing
Can't you hear me, I'm saying
I want you for the rest of my life

Together forever and never to part
Together forever we two
And don't you know
I would move heaven and earth
To be together forever with you

If they ever get you down
There's always something I can do
Because I wouldn't ever wanna see you frown
I'll always do what's best for you

There ain't no mistaking
It's true love we're making
Something to last for all time
It's never changing
Can't you hear me, I'm saying
I want you for the rest of my life

So don't stop me falling
It's destiny calling
A power I just can't deny
It's never changing
Can't you hear me, I'm saying
I want you for the rest of my life

I was born in the wagon of a travelin' show
My mama used to dance for the money they'd throw
Papa would do whatever he could
Preach a little gospel
Sell a couple bottles of doctored brew

CHORUS:
Gypsies, tramps and thieves
We'd hear it from the people of the town
They'd call us gypsies, tramps and thieves
But every night all the men would come around
And lay their money down

Picked up a boy just south of Mobile
Gave him a ride, filled him with a hot meal
I was sixteen, he was twenty-one
Rode with us to Memphis
And papa woulda shot him if he knew what he'd done

Chorus

I never had schoolin' but he taught me well
With his smooth southern style
Three months later, I'm a gal in trouble
And I haven't seen him for a while
I haven't seen him for a while

She was born in the wagon of a travelin' show
Her mama had to dance for the money they'd throw
Grandpa'd do whatever he could
Preach a little gospel
Sell a couple bottles of doctored brew

Chorus

Falling for you
Did you ever see me
Watching from periphery
I was playing another game
I hoped you catch on all the same.

Falling from view
Did you ever touch me
Floating through your potpourri
I thought I felt your fingers once
After waiting all these months

But I was wrong so wrong
That was just another song you wrote for another girl
And I hoped the day could be
When you’d write a song for me

But it never came
I thank you all the same
But I’ll go now so you won’t know how much I’ve

Fallen for you
Pointless trying to be a man
Boy’ you don’t know if you can
I thought I knew you well enough
But your walls are still too tough

But I was wrong so wrong
That was just another song you wrote for another girl
And I hoped the day could be
When you’d write a song for me

But it never came
I thank you all the same
But I’ll go now so you won’t know how much I

Thought about you all the time
Walking round the Guggenheim.
Like a rhyme in my mind
There you are in my car’
But we don’t drive very far.
To the beach out of reach
Next to me... my fantasy

Falling for you
Did you ever see me
Watching from periphery
I was playing another game
I hoped you catch on all the same.

Arse! I've just overtaken old Vic on the posting stats. Time for a new login name methinks...

Abe: 80's revival merchant! Christ that's a blast from the past!

Ignoring AP's 70's moment. He is so near ultimate tedium, I fear for the boy. Should someone send a crossword or something around for him before he flips?

I spent most of yesterday in an old pub playing Scrabble. Senility beckons.

..I also invented a game which involves a drinking straw and two ashtrays, one of which must be full. You have to pick up the fag ends from one tray by sucking through the straw and dump them in the empty ashtray. I accidentally sucked up some ash at one point and nearly choked.

No no no
You don't love me
and I know now

No no no
You don't love me
as I know now

Coz you left me
Baby
And I got no place to go now

No no no
I'd do anything to stay boy

No no no
I'd do anything to stay boy

Coz if you asked me
Baby
I'll get on my knees and pray boy

Dawn Penn was Antonio Fargas in drag - FACT

WOW!

Who is Antonio Fargas?

Huggy Bear, innit.

Snoop Dogg?

Les Baxter in All My Children, innit

In Drag:

www.reggaenode.de/summerjam/sjam2001/daw...

Normal attire:

www.collectinghollywood.com/scrapb33.jpg

isn't "she" more like Luther Vandross with short hair?

Brock, or should I say, Richard Tham!!!!!!!!!!!!!, you have made two "PIN IN MY FRIKKIN EYE!!!!222" references today.

May I point out to you that I have been eye-gouging with a fork for the last 1 and three quarter years, and your pin-eye threats are getting dangerously close.

MEAT TENDERISER IN MY FRIKKIN ARM!!!!!$$$$4444

I am after your dubiously held crown, Dr Bitch/Lucid.

Get new catchphrases! I shall swallow you whole!!!!

One for the girls.
(and the enlightened boys)
(and the boys who wish to be enlightened)

And Abe :S
(all said in the jolliest manner)see----------->:)

ho ho ho!

www.newyorkmetro.com/nymetro/news/trends...

...also posted here :

www.flickr.com/launch_intro.gne

come visit!

Im sure i read something about that last October.

Next the newyorkmetro will be telling us stuff like "masterbation DOESN'T make you go blind :O"

Feminist says pron is bad. Well fancy that.

newyorkmetro headline "bear shits in the woods"

"pope is a catholic EXCLUSIVE"

ha ha ha! did you read the *whole* thing, or did your knat attention-span give out on you? ;)

Yes i read it last year.

"Her husband never even sees another woman’s hair.
She must feel, I thought, so hot."

:/ with writing like that who needs a full frontal lobotomy?

gnat silent g not silent k

thanks....

think gnothing of it

hahaha!

...I do, however, watch pron. OCCASIONALLY!
I think it's f...king hilarious!

fucking hilarious?
is the when someone is having sex with multiple girls called Hillary?

...especially the weird music in the background. It cracks me up every time (no pun intended)

"haha"

"Oh.....If only my womb hadn't dried up :("

AND blown away!

bla, nothing wrong with pron

doesn't that music make you laugh, though? am i the only one who thinks it's funny?

Shock. The dutch girl approves of pron! Is it national curriculum yet, Miki?

sex ed innit ;)

the music does make me laugh, but there are degrees in corniness :)
there is better quality out there and some companies make more 'woman friendly' pron then others :D

I beg your pardon?

Dr Bitch?

(Good cuss! And well researched!)

I prefer Doc Doc Doc Doc Doctor Beat.