iamcal.com Since May 2000

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• Hello!

i can seriously understand what you would reply to this, but not all guys are assholes ya know.

ok

Yeah. I appreciate the newsflash. Ta.

i like to smoke

i smoke kool100 newport100

/bangs head on desk repeatedly

The world is a scary, scary place!

The Introductions forum - don't you just love it?

Smoke? Guys?

"""!!!

Heck someone better do some approving fast!

Yeah, but not Erik or gregg.

Guys, some of them are complete ass holes, but from being a girl all my life, hopefully, chicks can be ass holes to. I don't see why girls make it look like the guys the criminal when it's usually the girl. Just because they are bigger, that's pathetic, come on now.

Hopefully chicks can be ass(sic)holes?

Or hopefully you have been a girl all your life?

Are you suspecting that you may have had some surgery whilst you slept at some point? Or just hoping that you can be really shitty to someone at some point in the future?

And what do you mean by "bigger". Taller? Fatter?

Bugger. (*&*&*&(*&*&(&

"surhery"

Can someone translate this thread into plain English for me please?

AP: I actually read all the other posts, thinking to myself "I didn't spot that enormous fuck-up first time, I must be slipping with the old eagle eyes, today".

Then I checked mine... :(

Doh! Must check before posting in future.

WH: Nope. You think it makes sense to me either?

Haha! You suck, Brockles! ;p

Thank all the things holy for that comma!

Some boy are stupid!!!!1 But the ones that u love and u r going out with! They r the ones that r really jerks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok I hate when guys talk about a girl only in terms of hotness. I know Im not hot but I wouldnt want to be known as the hot girl. I also hate how guys sometimes act way egotistical and macho around other guys. Sensitive geeky guys r the best

*paging Chay*

And sensitive geeky guys get the shit kicked out of them by those egotistical/macho ones. It's our primeval nature coming to the surface.

Sensitive geeky guys often find it impossible to undo bras (but then they shouldn't be wearing them in the first place).

Geekster, while I agree with you in principle I'm afraid we have millions of years of evolutiun to contend with.

Sensitive geeky guys r the best

Yeah but im spoken for
(thanks for the page though AP)

Oh and Warhead most of the geeky guys I know are stick thin and so wouldn't require "bitch-tit support"
(and also evolution)

They may be wearing them purely as a fashion accessory.

"And sensitive geeky guys get the shit kicked out of them by those egotistical/macho ones. It's our primeval nature coming to the surface"

Bill Gates kicks serious butt. Give me the sensitive geeks any day. Brains wins out over brawn in the long run. But mostly kindness, compassion, sensitivity, sincerity, maturity, decency,loyalty...these get my vote above all else. Soppy, but true.

"But mostly kindness, compassion, sensitivity, sincerity, maturity, decency,loyalty..."

Yeah, what you want's a woman.

Or a man in touch with his feminine side.

Bill Gates smells, apparently. I mean his personal hygene leaves a lot to be desired.

(This is just sour grapes on my part, btw.)

Why are those traits associated with femininity? That's bollocks. As bollocks as 'strength' being associated with masculinity.

He smells? Gross...

Okay, I'm adding to the list that a man shouldn't smell. That's just...yuck

We all smell, Uma, it's just that he smells mingy. Er, allegedly.

I'd hate to join at the end of the conversation, but Geekster, Alfie, and Uma are right. Sensitive geek guys are the best.

Ah, but don't be fooled, they can just appear to be sensitive until they've got into your knickers. Sneaky bastards.

(This isn't the end of this convo, btw.)

how many have you had in your panties?

Men? None. Women? I ain't telling. I am of the male persuasion, Kaila, in case you didn't know.

I know, it was a joke...

"I'd hate to join at the end of the conversation, but Geekster, Alfie, and Uma are right. Sensitive geek guys are the best."

Yeah but only one of those three is a fabulous sensitive geek guy

But there are others whose names were not mentioned.

Ok, Kaila - Ha, Ha, Ha, Haaaaaaaa...... - well how many have you had in yours? I don't mean simultaneously.

Alfie, you are fabulous. Warhead, would I sink so low as to say...

I dunno - guys tend to boast about these sorts of things (they always lie, of course).

well, maybe in a bit I may tell you, but until then, I must trot back off to work now and quit wasting company time and money.

I think it's very comendable if you can remember how many. Unless you have a good head for figures, that is.

Well, how can one person remember so many? I've run out of places to mark on my bed, so I've started making slashes on the wall.

If I slash on the wall my wife gets really irritated.

ugh...

But that's better than my friend's husband. He'd sleep walk and piss in the wardrobe.

That's quite common...

(in every sense of the word, I guess)

it's good to know that you are close enough to share such info. But then again, I would probably tell my friends too.

Quite the opposite is the case. It's because I know none of these people that I can say these things.

ah, or do you only think you don't know them? Actually, I did that one time on b3ta, told the entire population something about my roommate, something totally disgusting.

which was?...

:D

you cant say something like that and not tell us the story! come on spill it! :P We are all waiting.

oh, a b3tan

sorry, my boss is making me read an awful book, so I couldn't reply straight away. Well, this is also disgusting in my part too. So, my roommate one night starts asking me all these questions about STD's and stuff, like bumps. She hasn't had sex with a guy in almost a year and she starts freaking out because she found a bump on her punani. So I say I know nothing about STDs and her best bet would be to look it up on the net. So she starts freaking out and makes ME look it up. So I'm reading all this stuff and looking at all these nasty pictures of different STDs, like cottage cheese and mold on guys and girls stuff, it's making me sick. So she comes in and looks at the pictures and she says "I don't know if thats what it looks like" and she just kinda stares at me, so I start freaking out, because she's looking at me like "Please, be a friend and look at my vagina and tell me I don't have an STD"...To Be Continued

Sorry, *boss breathing down neck*, moving on, so we sat around for like an hour and I would not look at her, because I knew what she wanted me to do. So I said WTF if I don't do it, she's gonna keep me up all night with fits of sobs, so I *cringe, cringe* looked at her stuff to make sure she seemed to be STD free. Okay, I have to go take another shower. Please don't revoke my approval over this.

Not all guys are assholes, you just have 2 pick the right one 2 b with.

r u guys still there?

I'm here. ADSL?

Obviously not. :/

i have a question for anyone who will answer y are guys such ass hole. y do they lead us on and then turn us down. and me i am not that ugle from what i hear u can see for ur self at dragonslair.roguedom.com i just need to know!!!...

You appear to be quite presentable. But you spell and punctuate like Jade Goodys stupider sister, Therefore you do nothing for me.

If you think I'm clicking that link you must think I'm a complete fucking, stupid, Canadian Bint. I can't let you know if your an 'ugle' cause I have no fucking idea what an 'Ugle' is.

Abe: "Jade Goodys stupider sister" = much chuckling.
Zero tolerance is so much funnier than being nice the whole time...or indeed, at all.

And - I'm braver than you, Avriiiiiiiiil. Cos Abe obviously followed the link to be able to form an opinion. Guess the subtlety of that fact escaped you. Still, you never struck me as the sharpest tool in the box.

Anvil Latrine reminds me of Shiny Twat that other famous canadian. I loved her song "Feels like a woman"

Shite posted that in wrong place. sorry. doh

um ok but that doesnt anwser my questin if u went to the link do u think i am pretty are not thats all i wont to know!!!! and home come guys are ass holes????please anwser my questions!

what do u mean i am presentable? so i am ugle to u?

Demon - Presentable adj : fit to be seen; "presentable clothes".
So, not a bad thing! As a general rule though, in order to be seen as attractive on here you have to
1. Be quite intelligent.
2. Have very good spelling and grammar.
3. Not talk in fucking L337 Speak....
And i can think of 2 of those points where you unfortuanately come up short. But in answer to your original question, you are quite attractive, and not "ugle" at all.
Of course I am assuming that by "ugle" you mean ugly, and not Unified Grand Lodge of England.

NIce response. In keeping with our accord, I merely applaud your spelling of 'unfortunately' as uniquely original, and essential to the comedic effect of that fine post.

Demon: Sweetie, you seem rather nice in the pics. Stop worrying. Guys, as you call these pre-pubescent boys, are ARSEholes because they are young, stupid, and trying to get laid. They just don't know how to do it with class, or in a way that treats the lady as an equal. As soon as they realise that girls like it too, and they just want to get laid too, they all calm down and everyone can have fun.

Ahh, wise words brock. I tell you what, "Unfortunately" Is one of the few words I still struggle with. Which gets annoying, and now I want to change it.

thank you for answering my question but, why are u so judge metal will words... i am told i am nice sweet and pretty... but i am tired of people seeing that.. should i change... and be the bitch i can be...

I can't spell nuisance. Usually. If anyone cares.




I'll get me coat.

Demon: Er.... What? Judge metal? Is that Judge Dreads boss? You ask if you are ugly, and then say people tell you that you are 'sweet and pretty' all the time. You aren't making a lot of sense, honey.

Be a bitch. It's much funnier, trust me on this one! You don't get laid as much though.

:(

Judge Dredd ?

Don't worry WarHead, I can't spell minuite.

"Why are you so judge metal will words"?

What sound does a tree make when it falls in the forest?

"Aaaaagh! I'm falling!"?

"one of you bastards help me! That conifer just took my purse"

"What sound would you make if you were to attempt to eat salad cream with no lower jaw?"

*slurp*?

Thanks for the heads up...

Rag Doll has been a girl all her life! I'd hope so too...

then y would this guy that i have like for about 7 months why wont he give me a chance?

Have your breasts developed yet?

Into what?


Blimey - here's another candidate for a training bra.

Well she was asking why this guy wont give her a chance, I was just wondering if her breasts have developed past the 'swollen' stage. If not, then we have our answer.

Don't judge everyone by your criteria. I quite like the boyish figure, meself. On a girl, that is.

What? You prefer a lady to have nae tits? Honestly?

So you like butch lesbians then?

I didn't say I 'prefer' it, I just said I quite like it. I wouldn't turn a lady down because she was lacking what Pete'n'Dud would refer to as 'Busty substances.' And not all titless females are butch lesbians, at least not all the ones that I know.

I didn't say they were, I was talking more about the boyish figure/look comment you made and there's nothing more boyish than a butch lesbian =]

Perhaps Warthead just prefers the more gamine lady.

The BL's I've seen have been like trawler stokers and scare the crap out of me. If you found me a nice girly one I'd try to turn her. After all, we all know that a lesbian is just a girl who hasn't had the right shaggin' yet, don't we lads?

I actually managed to get one to try the 'dark side' for a night. She was sort of Bi-curious, just not from the normal perspective.

Did she later describe the experience as somewhat resembling a cervical smear test?

No. But she did say that a woman had never stopped her walking properly the next day, before.

;)

I said it was the same as going with a lesbian, anyway. There were 2 c*nts involved, after all.

Stopped her walking properly the next day? What did you do, keep throwing yourself on the ground in front of her while begging her to let you have another go?

Nah. Stabbed her in the leg with my needle like penis.

LOL@Warhead

hahahahahahahahhahaha

that is all

needle like penis huh? that's an image that will linger.

no i have a nice size i wear a 34b thank u... and i am getting a but to.

since we are comparing try a 36 D, but I think I'd rather trade with you.

why? kaila! i wish i aleast had a 34c it would be a lot better for my body maybe i think i have my own site so u tell me......

are you taking the piss?

If I have to ask then you probably are.

no y???? how gross nasty!

Why do I get the impression that d36756556756678bmmoonnnnnnn will be the sort of seriously fucked up girl that is so paranoid about her appearance that she has a tit-job at the age of 18? Or has an eating disorder AND a tit-job so she looks like a letter'P'.

Chill out. You're making me tired. You're just a kid, and kids get worked up about stuff. Get over it and stop worrying.

how old do u think i am? of course i am a girl that worries about what she look like i eat normal.

It's a shame you're not a girl who worries about education eh?

i am 18 and i go to college and i love me schooling

"my schooling"

u girls need to find better men, like me

i have a question, do girls enjoy giving blow jobs

:)

no guys are losers and freaks

oh yesh like you da. dah you are like retarded your name should be da retard

read Ffs. Brock and I had a lovely conversation letting everyone know. Yes, most girls enjoy giving blow jobs.

think of it this way - would you stick something in your mouth if you didn't enjoy it

will they be paying me?

I swear tears of laughter are rolling down my face.

ok y are we taking about sucking? my oppion is it depends on the girl what she likes to do,also it this same as asking a girl if she likes to get lick.....

"Hey girl, you like get lick?"

i love it i like to please as will as please the other person

i like to smoke
i smoke kool100 newport100

Bless "little miss" and the Party fever paul sitting on a heap of balloons trev and simon story happening jive, some fiend washed my hair in the sink. with beer. ahhh.. and then at one point i was running around with a tray of meat going "tray of meat! tray of meat! oh. floor of meat!".

ok willwill if that was suppose to me funny. it wasnt it was BORING!try again something alittle better and it didnt make any since.

i thought it was funny. shall we have a vote?

Yay, voting!

I am still shaking my head about the "By blow jobs, do you mean sucking?" confusion of DEmOn1234567890BiTcH 200000000-whatever the fuck she's called, is having.

What else would it be? Oh, maybe we meant pulling a guys trousers down and literally blowing on his cock like a reticent birthday cake candle!

"It won't go out, it won't go out!!!!!!! I'm blowing so hard I can't breathe, and I can see spots! But it's still stood up, all proud and throbbing, looking at me with it's one eye!!!! I'm no good at this sex lark!"

*Sheesh*

(I, for the record, thought Doc's post was funny. But don't tell him I was being nice. I have a reputation to upkeep)

now, that was funny

yeah yeah whatever ur just mad because u cant get blow, or u can but havent had a good one like me

I THINK THAT GIRLS GO OUT WITH THE BIG FLASHY AROGANT FOOTBALL TRACKSTAR RAPIST MOTHERFUCKERS, WHO FORCE SEX ON THEM WITH NO ORAL SEX GIVEN TO THE FEMALE, AND THEN LUMP ALL US NICE GUYS IN WITH THOSE ASSHOLES.
I THINK THAT IF A GIRL ISN'T GOING OUT WITH ONE SHE WANTS TO SO ALL THE OTHER GIRLS ARE IMPRESSED EVEN IF IT MEANS GETTING THE SHIT BEAT OU OF HER CONSTANTLY PHYSICALY AND\OR MENTALLY (MORE AND THEN OR), AND THAT WHAT I MOTHERFUCKING HATE THE HOLY HELL OUT OF ABOUT WOMEN.
THEY'E TOO NARRCISTIC

Whoops :D

WooHoo! My first confirmed kill.

BIG FLASHY AROGANT FOOTBALL TRACKSTAR RAPIST MOTHERFUCKERS

but why must there be so much game play? why are the sexes portrayed as being so different\, when really they are trying to create the same ending through different means and if you can see this then you two (or more ) can be very happy and live very fullfilled lives.

are they trying to create the same ending?
some people want to settle down and some don't, others want kids
the list goes on.

finding a compatible person who wants the same ending you do is hard.

Are you including 'facial money shot' in your ending list?

Because if so, you are so right...

I hate when a guy becomes so comfortable being around you that he starts treating you like one of the guys- burping, farting, etc. Just because you enjoy being around each other doesn't declare basic manners around women null and void

I've got to say thinking about the original message I always thought that women were attracted to the popular guys, not so much as their muscle, their cars, the size of their wangs, etc. But the question for us guys is how can we become popular (if we're not already unlike me)? If girls are turned on by as you say "geeky" guys, then why don't you flock around them? I have always tried to be different, to attract women, not by fitting in, but by fitting out per say. I don't want to be a khaki-wearing, etnies-sporting, guy, nor do I feel the need to be a du-rag wearing guy with a jersey and a pimpin' bling bling! I wear whatever suits me. The only question I have is if women can understand and perhaps appreciate what I choose for myself? The main reason why guys try to do what they do by acting a thug, being tough, smooth-talking, dressing like they do, etc. is simply to pick up the women. It is instinctive for all male species and it dates back since heterosexual creatures first walked this Earth! The male birds will try to attract the female with their colorful feathers and exotic mating calls and dances! Some males of this human race however, try to push the boundaries of this way of thinking. I am 14, a freshman in high school right now and from what I've seen this has gotten none of us anywhere! Perhaps it is because you females are immature in seeing past our personal attire? If many of you think like you say you do, then why can't you engage with us outsiders? Is it fear, or embarrassment, or repulsion? Please be honest with me! I would like the truth.

foozlemymoose@hotmail.com (don't ask about the e-mail adress)

P.S. If women can't appreciate the clothes I wear, is having long hair okay? E-mail me if you would like to chat.

*yawn*

Well written (aprt from the occasional glaring americanism), but come on. You are 14. People haven't even grown up enough to know what they want or even how they want to be. You are ,despite what you may feel and what you want to be, still a child. Just wait a few years. it'll all settle out in the end.

I am massively different from the person I was even up to 16 years old. When you are 10 years older, you will wonder what the hell you were getting so worked up about. Oh, and for reference, I had long hair till I was 22. It never did me any harm with the opposite sex.

(I particularly liked the e-mail address, by the way. It made me laugh)

Dunno what's come over me. I'm being constructive and helpful, even though I suspect they may never read it...


Hmmmm. I feel strange. I think I may have just been 'nice' to someone.

:/

ban yourself, quick

so girl's we all know that guy's are ass holes.atlest all the guy's that i whent out wit.i haver not yet found a guy that is nice and down to erath and that is not a ass hole to me or my friend's .OR a guy that dusent wont sexcomon girl's weall know that they just wont sex and then that's it then they say next

Try using some punctuation. It makes it SO much easier to understand what you're trying to say.

I've had a really bad fucking night. I don't need twats like you making it worse.

*banned*

So sue me. She's obviously a fucking idiot.

:)

no thanks
don't want to sue you today

i have a headache ;)

ah no, unban her, that was absolutely hilarious

Hmmm. Now I am in a less pissy mood (and not searching a river by torch-light for my mate who went staggering off down there whilst super-pissed for "some fresh air"), I can see that there may be some humour in that idiot, as advocated by Doc.

I shall un-ban, and if she hasn't lost interest, will sharpen my fangs for when she comes back...

You're easy!

And your point is?

Doc did point out that we do miss out on some amusing abuse if we just ban them outright, and he does have a point. We should at least have the fun that we want from them, then ban their arses when they get tedious.

exACTly

Did you find him?

Yeah, eventually. Gave the twat a right mouthful for disappearing and worrying us all to death. He'd gone to sleep under a bush, then went home. He drove actually, for which we all gave him massive abuse last night. Next time we go out, I'm locking his car keys in my flat. That'll learn him to get a damn taxi.

Nearly got fired once for taking my boss's carkeys and refusing to let him drive home. Well, while he was drunk he threatened to fire me. I said, Well, see if I care, at least you'll live long enough to do that then won't you?

"Nearly got fired once for taking my boss's carkeys"

I'd have fired you if you'd stolen my trousers.

hehehe

/me lines himself up for a pre-emptive *whoooooooooosh*

hehe

Uh..

hoho :)

*whoooooooooosh*

knew I'd need that!

I know I was just insulted but I don't understand how. Oh well...*whoosh*
Brock, must you put so many oooo's in the whoosh? We've spoken about this.

It had to go a long way to South Africa. And you deserve at least another 5 for being so stoooooooooopid...

So yes, I must.

I only just got it meself. I must be having a slow week.

Hmmmm. I smell an edit to remove the fluffy bunny bit off the bottom...

You sly old dog.

:D

So far I am ugly and stupid. Anything else? Hell! This is masochist Heaven!

say it out loud, syl. and think: combats

(a variety of flying fox trained by the army to operate radios)

(no wonder I keep coming back for more. More!)

I thought you were another doc. Are you Knew?

Salti-dog: I like that.

Arsepuppy? BTW, where is arsepuppy? Haven't seen him around...

Grrrrr ..... wuff, wuff.

I am a sensetive, geeky guy!!!

Any takers? ;-)

-Sam

*sensitive

Isn't that code for homosexual?

s/he posted under "where all the cute guys at" first...

CLASS reply there, btw, vic.

nope

it's 13375p33k for g33k @ h34rt

Doc may only have two of those smile-face-pixel things.

But today I used the second.

OO_

@ Salutation: what you wanna know about me?!

-Aki

well, looking at your other posts, here's what i know about you so far:
covering insecurity with pretentiousness, self-obsessed/self-righteous, social rather than rational with high social needs you're intellectually repressing, flailing at evil preconceptions you then go a long way out of your way to create then reinforce...

nah, i don't think i really need to know much more

oh wait.
one thing you CAN tell me.
did you really come on this site to see how fast you could annoy how many people?

a bit from column a, a bit from column b ;-)

*click click*
*whirr*

Saltation- Do you really analyze people to that extent whom you don't know? Any thoughts about me? Your skill is being questioned.

Salamanders shouldn't be allowed to be flight attendants. They could get pond-juice in people's coffee.

that's a doc line. but it's not doc

true all guys ain't ass holes but the ones who aren't are always gay but i hate it when guys lead you on in to thinking that they love you when they don't realy

Yeah, that's a bummer alright.

Hey, I love you baby!

Bastard stole my line!

Actually, I stole it from the Simpsons. So there you go.

Wiggum: Are you trying to stall us, or are you just senile?
Grandpa: A little bit from column a, a little bit from column b.

Go on Sally, analyse me!

i secretly AM you

(don't look behind the curtain)