Discussion » Life, Love And Suicide

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Posted by Incandescent, 06:44, 21st March 2004:
 
Hello, my name is Monique, I am 16 years old and already I feel I want to die. The world in which we live is for the most part being destroyed and the beauteous lands that existed before mankind’s evolution are all but gone. Mankind - The race of men is not kind. We are a brutal, destructive, abusive people with very little compassion in our hearts, even for the brethren of which we live amongst. We wish to consume all that we come across. We are a disease that is infecting the earth, a parasite on the backs of billions of mammals called humans. We infect each other with our hatred and our lies and pains to try and find ourselves some happiness. And those people that remain pure are shot down where they stand, if we cannot have happiness neither can they. How is that fair? I don't know if anyone will ever read this I don't much care. I am putting my opinion out to be heard while I still have enough passion to do so. I fought with my boyfriend today. It wasn't even a fight. It was merely me upsetting him, and making him miserable. I feel I am becoming one of those parasites I spoke of. Infecting the people I love. Bacteria is medicated and killed. Why can't I be??? I love my boyfriend very much, his name is Jeff and he is two months younger than me, but what does older or younger matter? He is also a grade below me. Does that make me perverted? I don't think so. We have known each other forever. We moved into the same street when we were four. Here in Adelaide, before that we both lived in caravan parks in S.A. and before that we were both born in Townsville, QLD, suburbs apart.. and moved down here at the age of 2 or so. It's like we were meant to be close together all out lives. We have been friends for about 4 years now. And we started dating at my 16th birthday party.. The influence of alcohol helped us to convey our true feelings for each other, I have never been happier, or not that I can recall. I love him so much, words can not do it justice, and yet I hurt him, torture him and make him sad, those are my bad days, on a good day I make him laugh, we cuddle, maybe have some fun.. But those days are becoming few and far between. I hate it. And yet as horrible as I am to him, he loves me unfathomably, and refuses to leave me, he protects me, and makes me happy, he is my safety net so that I do not hit the ground when I fall from flying.. He’s my oxygen when I am drowning.. He is everything that makes life worth living for.. And yet I am bringing him down, further and further into my own encompassing darkness. I don't want him to have to hurt anymore.. But leaving him would just about destroy him.. Should I stay on and suck away his soul to maintain the little happiness we have together.. Or leave him in ruins to rebuild himself.. And perhaps move on with his life. It’s so hard. I hate humanity for it's greed and it's hatred.. and by stating this.. i prove.. that i am no better than Suddam Hussein, Hitler, or the Devil himself. I am a hypocrite to my own advice... oh well.. We’ll all burn out one-way or another.
If anyone reads this and is curious to hear more from me, my email is nique_frogz@hotmail.com feel free to write whatever you want
Posted by sal, 09:06, 21st March 2004:
 
have you ever considered a frontal labotomy? I hear you can do it using spoons.
Posted by Brock, 09:09, 21st March 2004:
 
Nah, the spoons thing you're talking about is 'getting pregnant', innit.
Posted by tommorris, 13:50, 21st March 2004:
 
No, seriously: you ought to get advice - the Samaritans www.samaritans.org/ always have an open ear. Or try one of these: directory.google.com/Top/Health/Mental_H...
Posted by Sul, 14:03, 21st March 2004:
 
"...and he is two months younger than me, but what does older or younger matter?" Hehe
Posted by Rag_Doll, 18:46, 22nd March 2004:
 
I don't have the patients to read the first comment above, maybe I will later. But what in the world... two months younger than me, ha, I'm a bit confussed, oh well.
Posted by arsepuppy, 18:54, 22nd March 2004:
 
Burning out? At 16?


GYAC.
Posted by Doctor Lucid, 19:01, 22nd March 2004:
 
What, all broken up at seventeen?
Posted by Alfie, 19:02, 22nd March 2004:
 
Rag Doll, don't have the patients?
are you a failed doctor?
Posted by arsepuppy, 19:19, 22nd March 2004:
 
www.popex.com/cgi-bin/obvious?doctor

Bad Luck Chay... Obvious joke, minus 50 points.
Posted by Abe Frohman, 19:20, 22nd March 2004:
 
err
Posted by Alfie, 19:31, 22nd March 2004:
 
It wasn't a joke. It was a less than subtle comment regarding rag doll's malaprolapse
Posted by Alfie, 19:33, 22nd March 2004:
 
www.popex.com/cgi-bin/obvious?A_TOSSER_P
Posted by arsepuppy, 19:35, 22nd March 2004:
 
I know, I just wanted to use popex's "QI" thingum.
Posted by Alfie, 19:37, 22nd March 2004:
 
fair enough :D
Posted by Brock, 19:42, 22nd March 2004:
 
"malaprolapse"

LMGDAO!!

Didn't see that first time...
Posted by jeffld, 20:33, 22nd March 2004:
 
pfft
Posted by cal, 21:06, 22nd March 2004:
 
jeffld: yes
Posted by Alfie, 23:07, 22nd March 2004:
 
jeffld: someone has stolen all your vowels
Posted by Sul, 23:22, 22nd March 2004:
 
That bitch Vorderman no doubt.
Posted by Alfie, 23:45, 22nd March 2004:
 
or Vooordeeerrreemaaaanee as she is now calling herself.
Posted by Brock, 23:53, 22nd March 2004:
 
She calls herself "slutpiece for you to abuse" whenever she is at my place.

Whatever floats your boat, and all that.

;)