Posted by
Sul, 12:38, 25th March 2004:
<RizBow[RF]> winmx if the song is popular (you can download same song
from multiple people simontaneously) , soulseek if its rare
<maddox> I get my mp3s from the store.. it's pretty nice, they already
have them burned on CD and they come with cases and booklets.
<RizBow[RF]> maddox: where?
<TribGuru> How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a light bulb?
<TribGuru> You don't know, man. You don't KNOW.
<TribGuru> cause you weren't THERE
Posted by
Sul, 12:49, 25th March 2004:
<@Exor[B-AFK]> yeah apparently a teacher in britain was arrested. on him
they found a pencil, eraser, ruler, protractor and compass. They said he was part
of the Al Gebra network, and that he had weapons of math instruction!
<@Exor[B-AFK]> HA HA.
* Exor[B-AFK] shoots self
Posted by
Gary, 16:35, 25th March 2004:
That third one is fucking brilliant! :D
Posted by
Alfie, 16:46, 25th March 2004:
of course in Britain the subject is Maths not Math. :)
Yeah but geeks speak in Septic-talk because they want to be computers and computers are American.
Posted by
Brock, 19:29, 25th March 2004:
Alfie: That should read as follows.
"Of course the subject is actually called Maths, not Math."
or
"Of course the subject is actually called Maths, but Yanks can't speak English properly because they try and pretend the language was all their own idea in the first place. Much like they do with everything else."
Posted by
Drago, 19:40, 25th March 2004:
it's actually "mathematics"...
which still makes the US dumb as shite, shortening the word but dropping the plural.
Posted by
Brock, 19:43, 25th March 2004:
Yeah.
The abbreviation of "pictures" is not "pic". It's "pics". Not hard to work out, is it?
Posted by
Alfie, 23:52, 25th March 2004:
They don't pretend that they invented the language. They still call it English (or American English) not just American :)
Posted by
Alfie, 23:53, 25th March 2004:
Brock
or Pix
;)
Posted by
Alfie, 23:53, 25th March 2004:
Maffs
Posted by
Brock, 00:13, 26th March 2004:
Alfie: It's not "American English", it's "Bastardised English", or at the very least "Fucking Wrong English, no matter what you call it"
Posted by
Alfie, 00:42, 26th March 2004:
to quote Eddie Izzard:
"They say erbs, we say herbs, cos there's a fucking H in it"
Posted by
Geekster, 02:19, 26th March 2004:
lol Eddie Izzard rocks! " I like my women like I like my coffee...in a plastic cup."
" Cake or death?"
Posted by
Geekster, 02:19, 26th March 2004:
oo oo oo can I be an honorary UK citizen? :P
Posted by
kaila, 03:17, 26th March 2004:
Eddie Izzard=ace
he kills me, he is soooo funny, it makes me laugh just thinking about him...he he he
Posted by
Grim..., 13:35, 29th March 2004:
Oddly, the correct name to use when talking all the numbers is 'number', as in:
'Today we will learn about number'.
=/
lol Eddie Izzard rocks! here are some other things he said!
"oh, rusty nails on a plank, it's like a sponge, only more jagged, and you wouldn't really want to rub it in your face in the morning!"
"mmm, so i threw the book at him, and his face burst!"
"good god, my god damn eyes, they're actually burning. oh heck. this is awful. somebody please gosh darn help me!"
"ohhh, a kindly giraffe. who looks uncannily like robin hood."
Posted by
Alfie, 15:39, 29th March 2004:
are you sure it wasn't actually you who said those things doc?
that sure sounds like crazy talk to me
Posted by
Brock, 18:38, 29th March 2004:
You ain't getting me in no plane, foo!
Posted by
Brock, 18:57, 29th March 2004:
Back to the original Bash.org. It is genius. The random page is a serious spare time killer...
#48893 +(275)- [X]
how frequently do chest infections kill asthmatics?
no more than once i would guess
-------------------------------------------------
#71954 +(157)- [X]
How To Know If a girl likes you
?
Quite simple: If she sits naked on your hand, and it feels like a horse is eating out of your palm, she likes you.
Posted by
Alfie, 19:52, 29th March 2004:
HAHAHAHHHAHAHAHHAHAAH that second one is great :D
Posted by
WarHead, 19:58, 29th March 2004:
Moi aussie. Worthy of a strap line ifevertherewasone. It's something that will stay with me until I forget it.
That site is genius!
But where are the quotes collected from? It doesn't seem to say.
<allcuishpa> they should do a crossover with tubgirl and goatse
<allcuishpa> "CATCH!"
<pengwuan> at least ian curtis died doing what he loved
<whitcomb> killing himself?
<pengwuan> precisely
<ManicV> sleeping pills are for pussies
<proto_> No no no, you take these orally.
<+shiachan> i am having the worse day for the past 3 years
<+shiachan> someone console me :/
* Edible hits shiachan with a gamecube.
<neott> stop();
<WorkLord> hammertime();
Posted by
Alfie, 20:09, 29th March 2004:
you submit them. i seem to remember me and grim submitted one, dont think it got in though.
So they're (essentially) made up then? As in "not real parts of conversations"?
Posted by
Alfie, 20:13, 29th March 2004:
"TRON" if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN
hehee
Posted by
Alfie, 20:14, 29th March 2004:
people submit them from IRC conversations, if they see someone being funny, or more often, stupid.
Posted by
Sul, 20:17, 29th March 2004:
I seem to remember young Bain got one on there at some point.
Posted by
Sul, 20:20, 29th March 2004:
I did condider that some are made up though. Some certainly come across like that.
There's some untapped comedy genius there though.
Posted by
Sul, 21:03, 29th March 2004:
Oh yes. That's undoubted.
Posted by
cal, 21:30, 29th March 2004:
it's irc logs mainly. i'm on there somewhere.
i can attest, alot of it *is* real
Posted by
jeffld, 00:51, 30th March 2004:
I am on the way to my maths class.
That just doesn't sound correct for some reason.
or..
The maths teachers pencil is on the floor.
hmm
Posted by
jeffld, 00:54, 30th March 2004:
your bandwidth are all mine.
Posted by
WarHead, 22:26, 30th March 2004:
#53179 +(388)- [X]
My girlfriend caught me sleep-wanking last night
lol, typo. i'm a post that to bash
Dude, that wasn't a typo.
Posted by
Gary, 22:37, 30th March 2004:
it's irc logs mainly. i'm on there somewhere
Indeed. It would appear so:
<Akito> Single men make up the vast majority though
* Akito loves being in the minority :D
<iamcal> you're not a man anymore?
Superb! :)
hammertime();
Best. Function. Ever.
Posted by
Grim..., 12:02, 1st April 2004:
Oooooooooh...
#70169 +(251)- [X]
<ripper> I told u I was hardcore
That's not especially funny...
Posted by
cal, 00:36, 2nd April 2004:
BEST BASH EVER
<n_> derf if you ever call me on the phone and ask for ops again
<derF> heh.. i'm lazy
Posted by
Alfie, 00:42, 2nd April 2004:
dont get it :(
you were behind him in line at the assvibrator store?
<Th3No0b> Im going to be the next hitler
<Th3No0b> Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
<RageAgainsttheAmish> why the clown
<Th3No0b> See? no one cares about the jews
<RageAgainsttheAmish> lmao
Posted by
cal, 01:16, 2nd April 2004:
<Nigel> How many babies does it take to paint a house?
<Nigel> Trick question. It really depends on how hard you throw them.
Posted by
cal, 01:19, 2nd April 2004:
Skyraider: you might be surprised how black clouds can be :)
MrPumpernickel: rgb: 0,0,0?
Posted by
cal, 01:21, 2nd April 2004:
<Sk1nn3r> I like teenagers becuse all you have to do is supersize thier dinner and they put out.
Posted by
cal, 01:23, 2nd April 2004:
Girl: i like falling asleep with cold pillows by the way
SkibblesMcCheese: That's nice
SkibblesMcCheese: I like bunnies and marshmallows
Girl: well, i'm just lettin ya know so that you can have some cold ones ready for me after our extensive sex fest
Girl: i figured you'd be polite and do that for me
Girl: haha
SkibblesMcCheese: What am I supposed to do, put them in the fridge?
Girl: no, i usually stick mine in the freezer right before i go to bed
SkibblesMcCheese: Seriously?
Girl: for real
SkibblesMcCheese: That just bgave me a stiffie
Girl: hehe
Girl: why?
SkibblesMcCheese: I don't know... just imaging you sticking a pillow in the freezer... it just kinda made me hard, that's all
Girl: bending over to stick it in the freezer?
SkibblesMcCheese: Uhhh... yeah! That was it
Girl: what would u do if you came upon a scene such as that?
SkibblesMcCheese: Do you have clothes on in this scene?
Girl: hrmmm...
Girl: that's a good question
Girl: but... that's up to you
SkibblesMcCheese: So no
SkibblesMcCheese: In which case, I would build a campfire and roast some of those marshmallows
SkibblesMcCheese: It would get pretty chilly with that freezer open
Girl: shaddup!!
Girl: i wanted u to like, come up behind me and grab my hips and just pull me back into u with ur dick hardening against me... but hell, if you wanna make fucking marshmallows... i suppose i can settle for that
SkibblesMcCheese: I really like marshmallows
Posted by
jlittle, 09:18, 2nd April 2004:
[01:03am] ·ct· last night
[01:03am] ·ct· my girlfriend walks out of the room to goto the bathroom
[01:03am] ·ct· and she walks back in
[01:03am] ·ct· and i start feeling her tits
[01:03am] ·ct· and she turns on the light
[01:03am] ·ct· and its not even her, its my mom
[01:03am] •Necro• ...
Posted by
bain, 12:42, 2nd April 2004:
"I seem to remember young Bain got one on there at some point."
Maybe possibly true >.>
<Akito> Single men make up the vast majority though
* Akito loves being in the minority :D
<iamcal> you're not a man anymore?
*cough*
"BEST BASH EVER"
Yeh, i've had a similar thing done to me once. I think ody phoned me at some stupid hour in the morning just bcos his host had changed and he couldn't get his ops ;[
More quotes involving me ;[
;[
;[
;[
;[
;[
;[
*i love how i always manage to fuck up with <'s ;[*
^*&^&*(%&*%*&
Posted by
Grim..., 13:53, 2nd April 2004:
And a few more, I believe...
#45690 +(126)- [X]
*** Joins: Vicious (WayfaringG@ffchat-36391f10.dial-access.att.net)
<Vicious> -_- alright, what smart ass banned me?
<Chubbzilla> uh gk
<Chubbzilla> did you try to get on using java?
<Vicious> well first my MIRC wouldn't work
<Vicious> then I tried that
<Chubbzilla> ah well
<Chubbzilla> i banned java att.net a few days ago
<Vicious> oohhhh
<Vicious> ok
<Vicious> that's cool then~
* Chubbzilla wasn't banning der gk, just java lamers
* Vicious huggle
* Chubbzilla huggle + luffluff
<Prometheus> .msg chubbzilla heh, she totally doesn't realize that no one likes her
<Prometheus> er
<Prometheus> whoops
#8372 +(54)- [X]
<Hito> Golden showers, fecal, fisting, bondage, S&M, cock-pumping, beastiality, dead people, babies, women, children, men, stuffed animals, trees, etc.
<Chubbzilla> ¤¦Hito¦¤ nice weekend planned
#48604 +(14)- [X]
<Chubbzilla> omg
<Chubbzilla> MSN just offered me txt porn
<HKR|VC> !
<Chubbzilla> what the fuck is the world coming too
<Ruu> MSN isn't nearly as bad as ICQ
<Chubbzilla> no, but this is liek
<Chubbzilla> first one ever
<Chubbzilla> bcos i got the new msn messenger liek, an hour ago
<Chubbzilla> it has great new features, liek txt porn
* HKR|VC downloads
Posted by
Sul, 14:12, 2nd April 2004:
OMG! Just like the ones in his links. Thats
amazing!
I see the beginning of a new meme...
"Grim... repeats what others have said a bit earlier yet posts it as new content"
Just like the Google April fools link yesterday
;)
Posted by
Grim..., 15:54, 2nd April 2004:
I didn't spot those links - they were a bit hard to spot, to be fair...
Posted by
Alfie, 16:38, 2nd April 2004:
bowling for a pig, to be fayre
Posted by
Brock, 12:59, 3rd April 2004:
Hard to spot if you were looking the other way...
;)
Posted by
reitsma, 02:24, 6th April 2004:
<grl_05>hi guys
<integrating> hey baby, i wish i were your derivative because then i'd be tangent to all your curves
<FifthElement> i wish i were your integral because then i'd be the area under all your curves
*geek joke!*
:D
Liking it.
Posted by
cal, 02:13, 7th April 2004:
<PigsCantFly> SO MY MUM WAS LIKE "CLEAN YOUR ROOM" AND IM LIKE "NO WAY FACIST" IM THE PUNKEST
<@K0ffing> THEN I SAID I'M 12 NOW MUM I CAN STAY OUT AS LONG AS I LIKE AND SHE SAID GO TO YOUR ROOM SO I STABBED HER WITH MY LINKIN PARK PEN
<PigsCantFly> D00D MY MUM SAID SHE DOESNT WANT ME SKATING IN THE HOUSE BUT I WAS LIKE NO WAY HITLER AND I KICK-FLIPPED TO INDY GRIND ON THE CAT
Posted by
cal, 02:19, 7th April 2004:
<ToastyX> :b
<Powerlord> Hey toasty, what is the ascii code for the upside down P?
Posted by
Alfie, 11:30, 7th April 2004:
hahaahaa
Posted by
Sul, 11:37, 7th April 2004:
hahaha
Posted by
Sul, 14:28, 15th April 2004:
<zurt> When the moon hits your eye like a big piece of pie that's amor'e......... When you're hit by a jug in a South Auckland pub....... that's a mao'ri
Posted by
reitsma, 00:09, 16th April 2004:
it seems we have the same taste in bash quotes, sully.
i emailed that quote to my friends yesterday.
:o)
Posted by
Alfie, 00:37, 16th April 2004:
hhhheehehehee
Posted by
Ana, 14:24, 16th April 2004:
Haha :oD
I especially liked that one by retisma.
Posted by
reitsma, 23:54, 25th August 2004:
one for all you lovers of france:
CNN is reporting that Lance Armstrong may be stripped of his 6th Tour de France title.
In a random check for banned substances, three were found in Armstrong's hotel room.
The substances banned by the French that were found in his hotel room were as follows: (1) Toothpaste, (2) Deodorant, (3) Soap
The French officials also found several other items which they had never seen before, including a testicle and a backbone...
Earlier reports that French Government officials attempted to surrender to Armstrong as he entered Paris were apparently erroneous.
Posted by
Brock, 00:09, 26th August 2004:
Hahahaha
fucking french
[neo_alex] my maths teacher who looks like gandalf set us a fucking hard half yearly exam
[neo_alex] i was just expecting him to go "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"
Posted by
Jason, 05:16, 26th August 2004:
#34198 +(207)- [X]
I doubt my getting fired from the Dairy Queen is a bellwether of recession, but it sure is a bellwether of I stuck my wang in the butterscotch.
Posted by
Foppy, 19:57, 26th August 2004:
Math scares me. Maths scare me. Mathematics horrifies me because I can't think of an extended word for scare...except horrify. What was I talking about again?
Posted by
Saltation, 16:31, 27th August 2004:
Maths
argh!
Posted by
jeffld, 17:16, 27th August 2004:
Yes. There is some frustration concerning the pluralization of math.
Geometry or Algebra or Calculus etcetera.
Posted by
Saltation, 22:40, 27th August 2004:
actually, wasn't being pedantic, was responding in kind. have not yet ever seen any good argument for math versus maths that stands up to the remotest inspection
Geometry and Algebra and Calculus, oh my
Posted by
Sul, 14:17, 29th August 2004:
Well there's also the argument (one that I've just thought of so am throwing into the argument hat) that it should be "Math's" as it's a contraction of "Mathematics".
Posted by
Saltation, 09:18, 31st August 2004:
And a good argument it is too there uncle sul, with the only possible negative aspect being the risk of people then thinking an entire branch of human knowledge belongs to a biblical character.
Actually, if that encourages mainland america to try it out, maybe that's not a bad thing.
Posted by
Brock, 10:44, 31st August 2004:
Sul is correct. It is Math's, strictly speaking.
Calling it 'Math' is just wrong and so obviously so. After all, americans call it that so there was your first clue...
fucking yanks
Posted by
Brock, 10:50, 31st August 2004:
fucking french
Morning, Vic.
Posted by
Alfie, 12:24, 31st August 2004:
Could someone explain why they think it is Math's ?
Who does it belong to?
Cambridge:
"Definition
mathematics FORMAL [Show phonetics]
noun [U] (UK maths, US math)"
OED:
"maths
• noun short for MATHEMATICS."
Posted by
Brock, 12:27, 31st August 2004:
They spelt 'wankers' wrong there though, Alfie.
Right after it says 'US'. They spelt it m-a-t-h! Ha!
Posted by
Alfie, 12:28, 31st August 2004:
:D
Posted by
Alfie, 12:30, 31st August 2004:
I'm just not happy with a word ending in "s" being contracted like that as it looks more like someone is saying it belongs to someone.
Posted by
Brock, 12:34, 31st August 2004:
Yeah. I didn't like the whole "Contacts'" thing on flickr, either. Cal bitch slapped me about it though.
It just looks
wrong!!!11
Posted by
Alfie, 12:37, 31st August 2004:
i think that even if the "math's" thing is technically correct (I'm not sure it is) it looks wrong. We contract telephone to " phone ", although officially it's " 'phone ". If the dictionary says maths then I'll go with maths.
And if the dictionary jumped off a cliff then I would follow it.
Posted by
Alfie, 12:38, 31st August 2004:
I don't understand the Contacts thing either?
What is the reasoning behind that one?
Posted by
Brock, 12:43, 31st August 2004:
It says "Photo's" - then "Your Contact's".
The fact that it is Contacts (plural) and posessive means it gets all skewy. I thought that t he posessive article was dominant, but apparently not, the plural dominates, hence you drop the last 's'.
Looks, and sounds (if you say the fuller version in your head) wrong. That was my main objection. Cal found the proof before I had time to capitulate.
The bastard. I blame his mighty 22" screen for speedier searching on 25 sites at once.
Posted by
Brock, 12:46, 31st August 2004:
It also says Photos instead of Photo's ('Photographs' contracted etc.), but apparently that is in the vernacular now, so I conceded a draw.
Very gracious of me, I thought.
Anybody other than me and Alfie giving the slightest bit of a fuck about this SPAG stuff, then?
Posted by
WarHead, 13:27, 31st August 2004:
No, I couldn't give two tuppeny (twopenny??)turds!
Posted by
WarHead, 13:53, 31st August 2004:
You want me to give you a fourpenny one, I said a fourpenny one, son?
It's not Math's. That dictates ownership (as in "maths book" is a book about maths, "math's book" is a book belonging to someone called math, which is a stupid name or someone with a lisp). Maths is a accepted contraction of mathematics but mathematics itself isn't the plural of "mathematic". Just as physics isn't the plural of physic. Otherwise we'd also study chemistries and biologies.
Posted by
su, 14:00, 31st August 2004:
does anyone else ever wonder if Brock has shifted from pedantry right over to full blown insanity?
:D
Posted by
Brock, 14:07, 31st August 2004:
emp: It would be apostrophised (I may have made that word up, but haven't time/can't ber arsed to check), because it is the contracted form of 'Mathematics'. Apostrophes have many uses, not just as an indication of posessive objects.
This would be correct of 'Maths' was not considered acceptable.
Su: Bottom to you!
:)
Posted by
su, 14:09, 31st August 2004:
thank you Brock, but no thank you
so very kind of you to offer tho :)
Posted by
Brock, 14:13, 31st August 2004:
/bows deeply and with a flourish
When you feel moved to change your mind, I shall offer anew.
Posted by
su, 14:17, 31st August 2004:
well it sounds as if you are taken now
so i shall have to do without
just when i changed my mind and all
Posted by
Brock, 14:21, 31st August 2004:
I wouldn't refer to me as 'taken', I assure you.
That day is a
long way off, as I am sure I have alluded to in the past...
Posted by
Alfie, 14:34, 31st August 2004:
"The fact that it is Contacts (plural) and posessive means it gets all skewy. I thought that t he posessive article was dominant, but apparently not, the plural dominates, hence you drop the last 's'."
but the contacts belong to you.
Amy's glasses
Martin's shoes
Chay's contacts
It isn't the contact that owns me. It belongs to me.
and contacts isn't a contraction of anything.
Martin's shoes' look nice is clearly wrong
"Chay's contacts' are reliable" is also clearly wrong.
"Chay's contacts's are reliable" is also clearly wrong.
"Chay's contacts are reliable" is the only one that makes sense.
Posted by
Alfie, 14:35, 31st August 2004:
I agree with Cal on "Photo's" not being right any more though.
Posted by
Brock, 14:36, 31st August 2004:
Dude - It relates to the photographs (plural) that belong to the Contacts (plural).
I have nothing to do with this particular example.
Posted by
Brock, 14:37, 31st August 2004:
Too many plurals spoil the broth.
Or something.
/head blows up.
Posted by
Alfie, 14:39, 31st August 2004:
An apostrophe is NEVER used when the –s simply indicates the plural form of a noun.
Contact is considered to be a noun in this sense.
Posted by
Alfie, 14:40, 31st August 2004:
Oh I just read the actual post on flickr. Yeah sorry, I get it now. Cal is very much in the right.
Contacts' Photos is right
Chay's Contacts' is wrong but that's OK because I made that example up!
Posted by
Alfie, 14:44, 31st August 2004:
note to self: read about the argument before wading in and getting the wrong of the stick.
Posted by
Alfie, 14:44, 31st August 2004:
note to self: stop mixing metaphors
Posted by
Brock, 14:45, 31st August 2004:
Yeah. That's the end that I stuck in the doggy pooh.
:p
Posted by
su, 14:52, 31st August 2004:
well if brock had linked to it, you would have been better informed.
I was sure I left high school years ago, but all these english lessons (in which I received a glorious A) are doing my head in!!!
Posted by
WarHead, 14:55, 31st August 2004:
Well, anyway, 'AM' or 'morning' is superfluous, so ner.
...dog with bone.....
wrong thread also, I think
:o)
Posted by
WarHead, 14:59, 31st August 2004:
.... Brock with sheep ....
;o)
Possibly wrong thread, but there's more pedantry going on in here than there, so why not?
And now I have to get some work done.
Later, Dudes and Dudettes.
Posted by
Brock, 15:04, 31st August 2004:
Had to happen one day, WH. Unlucky.
Posted by
WarHead, 15:37, 31st August 2004:
What? Work?