iamcal.com Since May 2000

• Happy new year!
• Newbie topic - May 2016
• Newbie topic - April 2016
• Newbie topic - March 2016
• Newbie topic - February 2016
• Newbie topic - January 2016
• Newbie topic - November 2015
• Newbie topic - August 2015
• Newbie topic - July 2015
• Newbie topic - May 2015
• Newbie topic - April 2015
• Newbie topic - March 2015
• Newbie topic - September 2014
• Newbie topic - December 2014
• Newbie topic - October 2014
• Newbie topic - August 2014
• Newbie topic - July 2014
• Newbie topic - June 2014
• Newbie topic - May 2014
• Hello!

Any good margarita recipes, or anything involving tequila??
I'm looking to get trashed tonight.

Ingredients:
1 bottle of tequila, a shot glass.

Preperation:
1.Fill glass
2.Drink
3.Repeat steps 1-2

Well, that's how *I* would do it :P

Well, I think I like that idea!

I think AP is the Barman...

IF you do it my way i can assure you, you will get trashed. No doubt about it!

Grim... - That was a long time ago sadly, well long enough for me to forget the useful stuff. Which is usually about 5 minutes these days :(

Which reminds me, I'm going to need that £50 back that I lent you, ap. Can you post me a cheque tonight?

Good lad.

Who are you?

I'm your next of kin. Written that Will yet?

Touche

HAHAHHAHHA!

Actually, scrap that. I really don't want a lifetimes supply of girls hair products, stuck together pron mags and a bucket of fag butts. I can live without them.

Nah... I'm giving the pron to yer nan.

These conversations always go downhill rapidly. Still no mention of any good margarita recipes....

Good margarita recipies eh?

Make a flat circle of dough
Cover in tomato puree
Sprinkle with mozzerella
Cook for a bit.


Hang on.... that's not right....

I would take any recipe that makes you happy drunk, which usually only involves Bud Light strangely enough.

"To drunken oblivion and beyond!"

The key to being happy drunk is not to drink too much. Everyone follows that little curve of merry --> happy --> really fucking happy --> crying/calling your ex/spewing/etc.

hey, I've only touched base with two of those (one time each) and NEITHER were my fault.


no, really they weren't!

Really? hmmm, i must drink too much too often then.
It -couldn't- be that I have a habit of getting miserably when i drink too much.....

The problem is that people don't listen to me when I say don't talk to me. Then comes the crying. Or when I say okay, I've had enough. Then comes the spewing. Thankfully I've only cried once, and only puked once. But I did cry like both my parents were hit by tractor tailers, while the credit card companies were taking all my stuff and I walked in on my non-existant boyfriend sleeping with my best friend-like anything bad that could happen did-type of cry. Those types of cries are the worst.

*hug*

I've cried when I was pissed. But only when I ran out of Jack Daniels. :(

I've only been the cryer once but have witnessed this cry many times. It's quite pathetic, but, why is it always the girls that cry like this? Just once I'd like to see a dude crying his eyes out 'cause he spilled a beer or something.

aww *hug* that's so cute

Ok, Christmas day, 2001.
I worked that day in a pub, and then went home for xmas dinner, and then went back to the pub for our staff xmas party. I ended up getting so hammered that i drank a whole bottle of amaretto, then spewed it back up and started crying about every fucking thing. While being sick. Not nice.
The only thing that made me laugh was this girl who fancied me (she was SCARY!) wanted me to tell her why i was upset, and i didn't want to (i had no reason for being upset really) but then another girl came in and started looking after me and i was talking to her. This pissed the girl who fancied me right off. After i got my act together a little, i walked out of the bathroom to find the girl who fancied me crying, so i pointed at her and laughed so hard a fell on the floor. I'll tell you what, *I* don't understand what goes on in my head when i drink!

And cute is my middle name ;)
(well, unless i'm really fucking drunk...)
/Looks at post above..
That was a pointless fucking story wasn't it?

Ok since we are sharing, about 6 of us went camping, and I was tore up, this was about 2 years ago I was ready for bed. So I went to lay down and my "friend" said, No, come back out we are having fun. I just wanted to go to bed, but noooo, I have to go back out there because she is fucking stupid. So I go back out there and this dumb guy that we were friends with sez he has to talk to me about something. So we go back to this room in the cabin, and he starts saying all this stuff about how he knows I like him but he likes me like a sister. I'm like what the fuck? I didn't even like him so I'm confused and the next thing you know I'm crying like, you know, the world is gonna end. I don't even know why I was crying I hated the guy. I should have laughed in his face

Hmm...
These things are complicated though! (Trust me... read some of the things i've said about Jen...)
Anyways, i need to go and fix my back. I'll be back, just need to float in a warm bath for half an hour, otherwise i'll be in pain for the next week.

By the way. I'm very upset that you all either missed or ignored my Buzz Lightyear/drinking joke.

I was rather proud of it.

*sniff*

you get right on that, besides you smell funny. ;)

Besides, it's not complicated he's stupid and cocky, and gay. He smells funny too

Sorry, I missed it, but it made me LOL and I never type that, EVER, so you should be happy! he he that was funny!

The post timing does rather make it look like I took 24 minutes to think it up, though. Bugger.

It was more like 12. I'm clever, see?

I see

:(

(why do I get the feeling you would be smiling benignly and patting my head if you were here?)

Cus she would ;)
I feel SOOOOOOO much better now!
So Kaila, how's the job-hunting going?

*puts on chay hat*

cocktails.about.com/library/recipes/blma...
www.drinkalizer.com/drinks/margarita.php
www.texascooking.com/recipes/fmargaritas...
etc etc..

google - its a lot fucking faster than iamcal.

And significantly more accurate. Though less funny, of course.

tagline:

iamcal: a lot fucking slower than google (but significantly funnier)

I would buy that for a pound.

ok heres a good recipie take a whole watermelon, cut a hole the center large enough to fit the neck of the bottle down in it and dig out the pulp open bottle put upside down in hole. refrigerate entire watermelon over night. Take out of fridge, cut the top layer of the rhine off blend watermelon with some crushed ice and enjoy. I also add strawberries into the blender. frozen strawberies work well

/salivates

new strap line!

note to self: must get funnier

yaaay a new strapline from me :D
%^*$&^(£&)()&(*)*()&* excellent (not time travelling, just air guitar)

Hang on a fucking second! Surely that's MY strapline?

o, o , O, the last time i was to drink, o, this garbled account, So much in any event, me and my friends were outside on the streets, and we stole this car of this Greek man who continued to start more. The valley gave him the cycle of the pedal of a child in the exchange, which we stole of this kid with an artificial arm. Thus we lead length in this car, and then before we know that what continues there is this noise of moaning cumming of the boot, and thus the microphone and Benny reach more and raises the lid, and there is this half of the type died inside there, and it is lie right on his of return, and thus to obtain a paranoid bit, and thus there two large bag salt on back sits, and to obtain salt and pour on type, and to cover in salt and to undulate his distribuerer salt in order to try to stop microphonous and Benny to pour substance on him, but to keep to pour and I to frighten I to try to stop and I to make a variation road conveys everywhere, and like "hé Jason what to make you", and I like "you to destroy standard in boot", and then to stop making, but too late, and there a standard death in boot and already covering in salt, and thus delivers to look like full salt with a standard death in, and thus to start outside, and valley there right to waste on half a bottle antifreeze, and to beat him with direction coils lock, and to bleed both ear, and I there with my head between my knee because I to be able not to believe what to produce, and only this morning I to awake and observe small TV while to eat a basin its oyster seller, and now I in one to steal car with a standard death to cover in salt and one my friend drinking on antifreeze and to bleed ear, and I nonsure if that because to strike him or because to drink antifreeze, and I just there complete freaking I to carry out outside, and then that car still to move, and thus any beginning to shout, such as moving with approximately butt sixty thousand per hour and this entirety loading kid directing us there, and then to strike this truck, and microphonous head except Window, and to fall again into car and to bleed, and look at narrowly and there this large notches in its head, and microphonous just to give a kick to the top its heel and to laugh and laugh and no to know us what to have to make or something and Benny thus acid to just waste to stripe roof convey, like wanting to leave as in Jurassic park or something and I there and all to shout except microphone which to laugh and I to feel like side my head to have to burst and I to draw on hand brake and to push speed in reversed and whole engine to raise before car and to come through cap and broken windshield and to run smoothly and round and round and then to stop and there vapor and smoked everywhere and I to leave car and my leg to shake and there blood in my eye and I just to carry out and I not to know where I just to carry out and carry out until I not to see where I v I just to carry out and I to finish upwards on this tiger skin cover in this old man house and there and to carry out of leather trousers and I to hold on his leg and to say to protect and I sure and hot and safe and to protect and part to turn and rotation and I just to hang his leg and any good. i am the jason character in this dialogue.

I so can't be arsed to read that...

no-one's making you, sonny

love you, Doc!

xxxx

ahhhahaha!!!111!!!1

Sorry. but this account is of a whole episode from when i was JAson.

no brock, jess came up with a line about google, you came up with a line. I combined and reversed them to refer to iamcal :P
bwahahahaaaaaaaa etc

if anything its jeffs

Alfie: Fuck you. I'd stamp on your throat if you were here, you fuck-scum bastard.



No offense, like.

violent

Nah! It's more toward red than that...

if i knew what that means...

VioleNt, not violet Brock, you wombat.

hahahahahahahahaha

I'm glad you knew what the hell he was on about 'cause I had no clue.

tiz the English sense of humour, I think. And a certain twist of the imagination. Being bonkers helps, as well.

I'm sure it does.

still, you guys kill me, everytime I come on her you keep me laughing.

edit: come on herE

*snigger*

LMAO - PLEASE do NOT edit the original.