iamcal.com Since May 2000

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• Hello!

Poll:

• Yea
• No
• Tham, buddy, tham!!!!!!!!!!!!! (13 exclaimation points)
• st-albans-eating-disorder-choir / apathy
• Jesse
• Billy Kennedy
• Charlotte Gibling!!
• .
• .
• .

well, i know it just a old tradition, but hey, i bought a stamp today, well, i say a stamp but i actually mean nine stamps because i had to buy three quarters of a book just to get one lame second class stamp. so i send you, stuff? yeah?

o hey. so yeah.

you put your names here. and you post your address to tea at ausi . com, yea. only the first cause i may need to send some post.

Hmmmmm..


I smell set-up!

Someone is overdosing on the caffeine today

"only the first cause i may need to send some post."

not sure exactly what i meant there. I mean; not all. just some.

I'm worried yet intrigued. You send me something and I'll send you a Plasticine pipe. I fucking mean it!

I ain't giving him my snailmail addy - he might send me 10 tons of fresh manure.

hmmmmm *weighs this out*

10 tons of fresh manure will cost more to send than the proce of the stamps he bought.

it's like it was made for doctor lucid, isn't it?

i've sent you my address :)

Do you really think a little detail like that is gonna stop him??? I'm not willing to take that chance.

You people scare me.
You people terrify me.
Really.
(especially doc)

I like that bunny though, that's very, very cute :)

Is someone taking the piss?

Doctor Lucid is a twat

Sorry, Rosie, I may be missing the subtlety there. What exactly are you saying about Doc?

;)

:D

He's being nasty about me - so he started it.

"I've got a fork up my frikkin bumhole, I'm so frikkin wacky"

:S

arf!

He must be off being all strange and cool somewhere as he hasn't yet replied with some witty remark.

Nah. He's looking one up in a book somewhere. You give him too much credit.

*snigger*

Ah docs just jealous 'coz everyone likes what you send, even if it's stale vitamins. (haha!)

Any luck getting hold of Vic? I mean, any luck tracking him down Rosie?

not yet Uma. I will call him soon. maybe on Saturday. He mustn't want to talk to me coz I've emailed him yesterday as well.

I will find him though!

...er check out the new strapline!

:/

Should we write some verse to tempt Vic back to the site? (it might make him so mad that he'll retaliate?)

I'll start:

Abie, babie, please come back
We miss you like a flu-attack

thats not going to tempt him back!

didn't sul find him and said he wasn't around ?
or was he joking ?
Sul, 23:21 31 March 2004 :
Its ok people. He found himself in the lake district. He'll be back next week as long as my bail cheque clears.

Miki thereby proves that she pays a whole lot more attention than Uma.

Gold Star to Miki. Ruler across the arse cheeks for Uma.

Now you really have me excited Brock

Yeah - I can vouch for that.

the lake district? but that's where gordon and helen cunningham have gone.

i think the dr is on his way to st albans

BUT MR C IZ DED INNIT!!!1

No. Abe is in the lake district. Don't think she cares where Doc is!

The lake district is lovely this time of year, whereas Abe is a cad, and a bounder all the time.

Doesn't mean we don't still love him though. I mean wub.

WarHead, you bastard!

I have it on good authority that my parents were lawfully wed.

You make me crazy....

♥

Honestly, I just try and post people some stuff, and I get cussed bad by Rosie.

I wasn't mocking you. (or Moc ing you) I just have a surplus of the 'little blue ones'.

(not valium, second class stamps.)

(viagra) YOU don't need viagra!

Oh!

This picture ended up a lot bigger than I'd planned. But look, it's a bourbon, but filled with white!

It's all blurred...

Yea... quite harsh really.

Did you fill it yourself? Perhaps in a lonely moment?

That would explain the blurring.

"Honestly, I just try and post people some stuff, and I get cussed bad by Rosie.

I wasn't mocking you. (or Moc ing you) I just have a surplus of the 'little blue ones'"


Ummm...

Reminds me of when I still had my glasses, and sat on them in the boat, and had to feel my way around the campsite. Tripped over all the tent-pegs and went into the wrong tent where people were er...busy

That has to be the worst excuse for voyeurism I've ever heard.

Try again.

You haven't heard mine yet.

Brock, I've been on here so long and you still don't know me. I don't need an excuse. I just ASK remember? No, seriously that happened to me because couldn't see. I was like -8.5/-9 until i had the lazik eye surgery. I stumbled in there and I still didn't twig what was going on (I'm slow and near- sighted) until i stopped for a few seconds and heard the NOISES! I hadn't er...heard those noises before...but i still knew what they were
/i was SO mortified. Really.

Key part: "I'm slow"

At least I admit my Short-Cummings

I was innocent in those days, at least I'm not a tramp like you, arsepuppy! BTW, I'm allowed to diss myself, does not give you permission to do it as well.

tramp?

e e cummings?

It's ok, you can diss me. As long as you leave the word 'menopause' out of it. Being sensitive about my age and all. It's not nice. ;)

Do you have bad memories of it, then?

"Ruler across the arse cheeks for Uma"

If you only knew what a nice image that is.

It's enough to make a grown man cry...

;)

They don't make rulers that long, silly.

More distances like that, a trundle wheel would be more appropriate.

You haven't seen my bum. You couldn't be that blessed.

Today's news:

"JOHANNESBURG (AP) - Reports released today have said that the isle of Madagasgar, off the East coast of the African continent was, bizarrely, never an island, just a big bit of Uma's bum which had stuck out oddly out the bottom of her skirt after a VPL / "Bacon Slicer" type mishap"

Not my words, but the words of the Associated Press.

Big bum ;p

Madagascar. But I'm pleased you can spell Joburg. I don't wear skirts. Only dresses and pants, so it couldn't have been me. What's VPL?

Visible Panty Line.

It can sometimes cause "4 bum cheeks syndrome" a bit like the way some bras can make you look like you have 4 tits.

I had a four tits gag, but it could have backfired horribly, so I'll let it go.

:(

Only if you wear the wrong bloody size. That's the kinda gal you go out with eh? No class. My bum is so hard, even if I did that you wouldn't see the pantyline

...tell it Brock

Nah, I don't go out with girls like that (anymore).

"My bum is so hard"

What? It's gone leathery after all the wear and tear?

It doesn't sag like yours

Yeah, ap, your arse sags so much it covers up most of your neck...

you've got me there :(

Mine is like two unripe melons

It only jiggles just a little when i walk

I would really like to see some pictorial evidence of this.

Can you e-mail me some?

Two man-hand sized melons

"It only jiggles just a little when i walk"

Those are your 'Emma Freuds', dearie.

And the boys are drooling too much to talk

"Emma Freuds"
please explain? havent heard that term...

Haemorrhoids

'Farmer Giles'
'Grapes of Wrath'
'Purple Bungee Jumpers'

Piles.

I didn't know how to spell that, and rather than get jumped on, I had to go and look. I couldn't find it in the online dictionary, so I googled "Arse grapes" and it found it straight away!

Hahahaha!

HA!!HA!!HA!!!HA!!! Those are lovely!

'Farmer Giles'
'Grapes of Wrath'
'Purple Bungee Jumpers'

those are bloody marvelous. Are those just pommy terms or is it me that's been living under a rock again?

ARSE GRAPES! hahahahahahahahaha! (sorry. I don't get out much)