Discussion » Cheese

This is a read-only copy. The forum ran on iamcal.com from 2000 until its database was lost in 2016, and this topic was rebuilt from copies saved by the Internet Archive's Wayback Machine. Some replies may be missing.
Posted by figroll, 19:00, 5th April 2004:
 
how long should wellies be woren before a plentiful supply of feet cheese can be harvested???
Posted by Uncle Moc, 19:08, 5th April 2004:
 
"woren"? I'm pretty sure that's german past perfect tense for "will have worn". Or something like that.
Posted by figroll, 19:10, 5th April 2004:
 
i knew i spelt it wrong . how silly
Posted by Brock, 19:15, 5th April 2004:
 
Is it not what Scottish people with speech impediments wear with their kilts?
Posted by figroll, 19:29, 5th April 2004:
 
dont know im irish not scots.
Posted by Sul, 19:31, 5th April 2004:
 
Can we get the stereotype police in just to be sure to be sure?
Posted by Brock, 19:35, 5th April 2004:
 
Oh. So Scottish people don't wear kilts in real life, then? Muppet.

Last time I heard they were actually quite proud of their national dress, and rightly so.
Posted by Sul, 19:46, 5th April 2004:
 
As Kirk once said: "Its not always about you Mr Brock. Now fuck off, die young, and fail."
Posted by figroll, 20:02, 5th April 2004:
 
a simple cheese question spoiled by the spelling of worn

its the world we live in

bring back national service i say
Posted by Brock, 20:04, 5th April 2004:
 
sul: Too late for the middle bit.

Todger-muncher
Posted by Brock, 20:05, 5th April 2004:
 
I just got the gag. MUST read posts all the way through. Still, good comeback btw
Posted by WarHead, 20:05, 5th April 2004:
 
If you'd have had some National Service YOU MIGHT HAVE LEARNED SOME GRAMMAR AND HOW TO FUCKING PUNCTUATE.
Posted by Brock, 20:07, 5th April 2004:
 
Yeah. Well known for their brains, squaddies.

And I would have expected a comma after "Service", Grandad
Posted by WarHead, 20:09, 5th April 2004:
 
You don't need brains for grammar and punctuation, just a Sergeant Major who shouts a lot.
Posted by figroll, 20:11, 5th April 2004:
 
i am trying to save on cyber ink by not punctuating
Posted by Brock, 20:13, 5th April 2004:
 
Doesn't work. Just means we all use loads extra up, by posting loads of abusive comments about you and your lack of it's correct use.

So sort it out.
Posted by WarHead, 20:20, 5th April 2004:
 
What he said.


And by the way, no one likes a smart arse.
Posted by figroll, 20:23, 5th April 2004:
 
Ooohhhh. Holding my handbag up to my chin.
Posted by Brock, 20:23, 5th April 2004:
 
That'd be me fucked then.
Posted by Brock, 20:24, 5th April 2004:
 
You're a figroll! You haven't got a chin! Or arms!

Fake!
Posted by WarHead, 20:28, 5th April 2004:
 
Your arse ain't THAT smart, Brockipoos.
Posted by figroll, 20:28, 5th April 2004:
 
Damn my cover is blown!
Posted by Brock, 20:29, 5th April 2004:
 
You ain't seen it, sweet-cheeks.
Posted by Geekster, 23:01, 5th April 2004:
 
Where in Ireland? Me fams from Kilkenny
Posted by WarHead, 23:04, 5th April 2004:
 
Please, no more Kill Kenny gags.
Posted by Brock, 00:07, 6th April 2004:
 
Goddamit! I only did one, and everyone ignored it!
Posted by Sul, 00:37, 6th April 2004:
 
I enjoyed it btw. But laughing at everything anyone says makes you look like a twat. Errr... you shaded cockmaster.
Posted by coca, 01:57, 6th April 2004:
 
IMPORTANT: everybody here is a fucked up loser who needs viagra just to keep w/ his or her hand.


signed,
Founder of Iamcal
Posted by coca, 01:58, 6th April 2004:
 
P.S. I love cheese!
Posted by coca, 02:01, 6th April 2004:
 
Oh, and that's a nice pic of Angelina Jolie, Friday.
Posted by cal, 02:13, 6th April 2004:
 
you founded iamcal? what a cunt!
Posted by Geekster, 03:29, 6th April 2004:
 
lol @ cal
Posted by Uncle Moc, 15:14, 6th April 2004:
 
Maybe it just means he found it?
Posted by Brock, 15:41, 6th April 2004:
 
Down the back of the sofa, maybe.
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 16:00, 6th April 2004:
 
In the back pocket of his 'other' pair of jeans.
Posted by figroll, 16:22, 6th April 2004:
 
Between his toes covered in feet cheese perhaps????
Posted by figroll, 16:35, 6th April 2004:
 
The importance of punctuation. by Figroll

I'am off for a shit,shower and shave, in that order.

Notice the important use of the comma.
Posted by Alfie, 16:39, 6th April 2004:
 
...and bad use of a fullstop not followed by a capital letter and the dreadful apostrophe in I'am.
Not to mention the lack of a space after the "important" comma.

:P
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 16:41, 6th April 2004:
 
Nothing, and I mean nothing gets past Chay!
Posted by Alfie, 16:56, 6th April 2004:
 
Could put a comma after "nothing" Foggie.
Optional though. :)
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 16:58, 6th April 2004:
 
Yes, I know it was optional but thanks for the help. ;p
Posted by figroll, 17:09, 6th April 2004:
 
Thats it!!!! Im going back to school, i'll sort out my punctuation if it kills me. Now wheres my yellow pages? I need to find out where my nearest adult learning resource centre is.

Sounds like a posh name for a sexshop actually.

On second thoughts i just go to the sex shop and do some proper adult learning. Apparently all the books have pictures so thats a bonus.
Posted by Alfie, 17:15, 6th April 2004:
 
That's it! I'm going back to school, I'll sort out my punctuation if it kills me. Now, where's my yellow pages? I need to find out where my nearest Adult Learning Resource Centre is. (Sounds like a posh name for a sexshop actually.)

On second thoughts, I'll just go to the sex shop and do some proper adult learning. Apparently all the books have pictures so that's a bonus.

;P
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 17:17, 6th April 2004:
 
There seems to be a echo in here.

here
here
here
Posted by Alfie, 17:18, 6th April 2004:
 
The echo has better punctuation though.
Posted by figroll, 17:31, 6th April 2004:
 
I can be sesquipedalian sometimes though. (Hope i spelt that right)
Posted by Alfie, 17:42, 6th April 2004:
 
spelling is easier when you cut and paste the long words
Posted by figroll, 17:50, 6th April 2004:
 
How surreal. Is spelling similar to hanging wallpaper?

Teaching has advanced so much!
Posted by Brock, 17:53, 6th April 2004:
 
Chay:*cough*Yellow Pages*cough*
(It's a name)

And "Apparently all the books have pictures, so that's a bonus."

Double :p
Posted by figroll, 17:57, 6th April 2004:
 
Nothing gets past Brock. Where can i buy a set of eagles eyes you miss nothing. Grrrrr.
Posted by Brock, 17:58, 6th April 2004:
 
'I' and '..eyes, you...'
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn, 18:00, 6th April 2004:
 
◙
Posted by Abe Frohman, 18:03, 6th April 2004:
 
You don't need eagle eyes when you constantly wear x-ray sunglasses.
Posted by Brock, 18:05, 6th April 2004:
 
Ahhh, Kato! My trusty servant! I wondered where you were.
Posted by figroll, 20:37, 6th April 2004:
 
Thinking about it ive never seen eagles milk in the shops nevermind eyes. Do birds lactate???
Posted by Brock, 20:47, 6th April 2004:
 
Why would they lactate, you nobjockey. They don't suckle their young.

It's already in the egg, ie before the chicken.
Posted by Miki, 21:48, 6th April 2004:
 
Oh really ?
Posted by Brock, 22:00, 6th April 2004:
 
Um. I believe the word that I used was lactate, Miki. I.e. produced in the breast. The "milk" you refer to in that link is written in quotes because it is called 'Milk' as that is the nearest equivalent to it that is commonly found in the animal kingdom. It is a regurgitatory liquid that resembles milk in its useage with regard to the birds young, not in it's properties, or method of production.

So there. Up your bum. :p
Posted by Miki, 22:07, 6th April 2004:
 
ouch, not so rough! ;)
Posted by Brock, 22:11, 6th April 2004:
 
Shaddup, you lav it!

(Intended to be said in a comedy cockney style, before some fetid sheep-worrier tries to correct my 'typo')

:)
Posted by Miki, 22:12, 6th April 2004:
 
was it you who installed my BT phoneline the other day ?
Posted by Brock, 22:13, 6th April 2004:
 
Yeah. Plugged in a webcam in your shower too...


www.Miki_in_the_stark_bollocky_buff.com
Posted by Miki, 22:16, 6th April 2004:
 
yuk, I feel all dirty now *shudder*
Posted by Brock, 22:17, 6th April 2004:
 
Then, erm, take a shower?

It'll earn me £20 per hit!
Posted by cal, 22:18, 6th April 2004:
 
(domains names can't contain underscores)
Posted by Miki, 22:19, 6th April 2004:
 
blah, fell into my trap /dissapointed
Posted by Brock, 22:21, 6th April 2004:
 
Cal! Take your "I actually know what I'm talking about" accuracy and fuck off! Spoil my gag, would you?
Posted by Miki, 22:25, 6th April 2004:
 
I'm off to bed, don't peek Brock !
Posted by Brock, 22:32, 6th April 2004:
 
Nah. Seen it all before, and got the Jpgs to sel....er I mean prove it.
Posted by figroll, 22:41, 6th April 2004:
 
Brock the Platypus lays eggs and lactates. Ask one the next time you see a group of platypuses
Posted by Brock, 23:11, 6th April 2004:
 
It's not a bird, you fucking chud-monkey! It's a Mammal. So, therefore, hardly fits the category of 'Bird' does it?

So don't correct me, bitch. You have neither the knowledge, nor the punctuation. Unless the platypus is actually called "Brock", which I have to say would be unusual for a Ornithorhynchidae.

:p
Posted by figroll, 23:29, 6th April 2004:
 
Actually Brock its a monotreme. HA knew i would catch you out eventually. Brock 12 Figroll 1
Posted by Brock, 23:41, 6th April 2004:
 
Look it up, fuckface.

platypus
n : small densely furred aquatic monotreme of Australia and
Tasmania having a broad bill and tail and webbed feet;
only species in the family Ornithorhynchidae [syn: duckbill,
duckbilled platypus, duck-billed platypus, Ornithorhynchus
anatinus]

kiss my arse...
Brock - 13, figroll - loo-hoo-se-her!
Posted by figroll, 23:58, 6th April 2004:
 
mmmm Brock your post at 23:11 clearly states mammal not monotreme. Brock still 12 Figroll 2 + a bonus point.

Brock 12 Figroll 3 Ha
Posted by Perclissigi, 00:04, 7th April 2004:
 
Figroll - Don't be a cock, you'll never, ever win with brock. You won't even score.
It's like the fucking matrix here, he makes the rules. I gave up trying to beat him. I now spend all my effort trying not to get caught out by him.
Posted by Brock, 00:05, 7th April 2004:
 
"monotreme
Any of a small group of primitive egg-laying mammals, found in Australasia. They include the echidnas (spiny anteaters) and the platypus. (Order Monotremata.)"

You really are a fucking idiot, aren't you? You should learn to look something up, maybe before you go off all mouthy and smart arse. That's what the rest of the pedants do on this site.

Can you feel that one, can ya? Huh? Huh? Huh? This house is clear, I have exorciiiised the demons!

Now fuck off, give me my points back, and kiss my feet for good measure.
Posted by Brock, 00:07, 7th April 2004:
 
Perci: Mate! I don't make the rules! God makes the rules, obviously.

He just does as he's fucking told, that's all...

;p
Posted by figroll, 00:10, 7th April 2004:
 
Grrrrr. Brock never will I lower myself to such demeaning tasks. Kissing hairy feet no thanks. Yuck and go wash them.
Im keeping my 3 points too. Ha
Posted by Perclissigi, 00:11, 7th April 2004:
 
Hehehehe.
Fair enough Brock. Although i was referring to ((*^&*^^%^&^ and all that.
Posted by Perclissigi, 00:11, 7th April 2004:
 
Ooooh! I'm impressed you got the correct "too" there, figroll!
Posted by Brock, 00:18, 7th April 2004:
 
I don't need the time travelling powers of the 'most excellent edit' to beat such miniscule challenges, Perci. Surely you know better.

Especially when I was right all along, and figroll sucks dog-cock for cash at the local street corner.
Posted by Perclissigi, 00:23, 7th April 2004:
 
But you have been known to utilise the "most excellend edit" to swing an arguement in your farour before.
Posted by figroll, 00:25, 7th April 2004:
 
Brock if im kissing anyones feet it will be Cals feet so i can be a member. Raspberries to you. I suck them off for free actually its a hobby not a job.
Posted by Brock, 00:31, 7th April 2004:
 
I generally use the MEEtm only in battles with Abe, and maybe Alfie. But that's all part of the game where they are concerned. In a straight argument, I generally prefer to use no other-worldly weapons or advantages.

I have my honour, after all.
Posted by Alfie, 00:41, 7th April 2004:
 
"I have my honour, after all."

Nah, we went back in time and removed any honour you may or may not have ever had.
Sorry about that.
Posted by Brock, 00:45, 7th April 2004:
 
Gaddamit! I wondered why it hurt to pooh the other morning.
Posted by Alfie, 01:25, 7th April 2004:
 
That was just Abe, "giving you a little something extra" when we stole your honour
(I think he took your bum cherry too)
Posted by cal, 01:31, 7th April 2004:
 
figroll is approved :)
Posted by figroll, 02:03, 7th April 2004:
 
Nice one cal. Have a jaffa cake. Thanks. :)
Posted by WarHead, 13:46, 7th April 2004:
 
A Jaffa Cake with a bum cherry on top.
Posted by BADGER OVERLORD, 00:57, 12th April 2004:
 
Woah where am I? Oh no I think I'm about to get lynched for the unacceptable crime of bad grammar. I'm innocent I tell you, you'll never take me alive ... never!!
Posted by tommorris, 10:56, 12th April 2004:
 
Best website ever.
Posted by Mzz Phatt Azz, 16:59, 12th April 2004:
 
Brock you need to FUCK OFF! Cause I know about every body is about wanna kill yo ass. So put your head between your legs and suck you dick!! You make me so dam sick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by Mzz Phatt Azz, 17:01, 12th April 2004:
 
I bet Brock has chesse and do not wanna tell thats why hes hateing so dam hard
Posted by Abe Frohman, 17:14, 12th April 2004:
 
Our badly-educated friend here has a point, I wanna kill Brocks ass (In a non-sexual way)
Posted by Perclissigi, 17:31, 12th April 2004:
 
Don't you mean "poorly educated", Abe?
Posted by Abe Frohman, 17:49, 12th April 2004:
 
Who's poorly educated Abe?
Posted by Brock, 10:09, 13th April 2004:
 
Mzz...whatever his stupid arse name is, can probably kiss my hairy arse.

I can't even be arsed to work up a quantity of bile to abuse him with, so peurile and pointless his comments are.

Ho hum.

Abe: Bring it on, bitch. You don't scare me, with your comedy beard.
Posted by BADGER OVERLORD, 19:19, 13th April 2004:
 
Too right Mr. Brock, this Mzz chap does appear to have some kind of mental deficiency. Perhaps he has chosen the wrong forum on which to sprinkle his nonsensical moon dust, but it also seems to me that you are the biggest smart-arse that ever lived... BEEATCH!!
Posted by BADGER OVERLORD, 19:25, 13th April 2004:
 
P.S. methinks you neglected to correct said defective because his/her S.P.G. is so bad that you didn't understand a word of it. FOOL.