Discussion » Padlocks

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Posted by friday, 13:43, 21st April 2004:
 
I have been reading about lock and key parties. Men get keys, women get locks.

Have any of you ever been to one? I was thinking of organising one here for a laugh.
Posted by friday, 14:40, 21st April 2004:
 
obviously not
Posted by syl, 14:48, 21st April 2004:
 
I have not even heard of that...but it sounds like a good idea!
Posted by Brock, 14:56, 21st April 2004:
 
But surely you would have to be in the same place? Or am I taking the "key into lock" analogy a little far?
Posted by syl, 15:02, 21st April 2004:
 
I'd have a feminist padlock party and switch it around :)
Posted by friday, 15:21, 21st April 2004:
 
Brock the idea is that you get 50 girls and 50 guys in a party at the same time trying each others locks / keys - supposed to be a great ice breaker
Posted by Brock, 15:39, 21st April 2004:
 
50 girls with padlocks. Me, and a skeleton key.

Now THAT is a party...
Posted by friday, 15:53, 21st April 2004:
 
promises promises :-)
Posted by Brock, 16:01, 21st April 2004:
 
Yeah, baby!
Posted by Grim..., 16:05, 21st April 2004:
 
Get these 50 women, padlock them up, then fuck off with your 50 mates to the pub for BEER AND FOOTY!

HELL FUCKING YES IT'D BE A GOOD PARTY!
Posted by Brock, 16:09, 21st April 2004:
 
I can see your point about the beer, but I'd rather be cavorting with 50 women than watching football ANY day.

I wouldn't even mind if up to 5% of them were stinkers if there were that many available to play with.
Posted by Sul, 17:28, 21st April 2004:
 
I saw something on it on a breakfast program the other day. The bird was just wandering around looking awfully rejected.
Posted by Brock, 17:30, 21st April 2004:
 
1 bird rejected out of 50? Which lucky lady got the spit-roast action then?
Posted by jeffld, 18:25, 21st April 2004:
 
I've heard of nuts and bolts parties. similar concept.



I don't remember what gender gets what though. I'll bet the men bolts and the women are nuts.
Posted by Brock, 18:33, 21st April 2004:
 
In my experience, all women have turned out to be nuts, so I would have to agree.

The men tend to bolt as soon as they found out the women are nuts too, so the success of the party is in question, I suppose.
Posted by syl, 19:16, 21st April 2004:
 
hahahahahaha!
Posted by Brock, 19:19, 21st April 2004:
 
Talk about 'on cue'...

;)
Posted by friday, 07:16, 22nd April 2004:
 
The padlock idea is supposed to be less intrusive that the nut and bolt thing and I think that stands true.

As for men that bolt, they are not men, they are mice.

Those guys obviously haven't met many sophisticated women, so bolting is excused.

cue discussion on why women are better than men or vice versa - hell why not?
Posted by syl, 07:56, 22nd April 2004:
 
1. Women are better drivers (poking Brock)
Posted by Brock, 09:44, 22nd April 2004:
 
That would explain the massive number of professional and competition drivers that are women then, I guess, yeah?
Posted by Grim..., 09:50, 22nd April 2004:
 
And the fact that the first Woman pilot that NASA ever let fly one of thir spacecraft wiped out over Texas =]
Posted by Brock, 09:52, 22nd April 2004:
 
Yeah! Women suck!

which has to be a good thing :D
Posted by friday, 10:07, 22nd April 2004:
 
Grim - bet she wasn't 'driving'
Posted by Brock, 10:09, 22nd April 2004:
 
No. The silly cow just touched one of the buttons. That was enough for a ball of fire.

Bless.
Posted by Brock, 10:13, 22nd April 2004:
 
"What does 'self-destruct' mean?"
Posted by Brock, 10:13, 22nd April 2004:
 
*click*
Posted by Brock, 10:14, 22nd April 2004:
 
*BOOM*
Posted by friday, 10:20, 22nd April 2004:
 
Grim is Brock?
Posted by syl, 10:39, 22nd April 2004:
 
Ha! Fess up

2. Women are better lovers
Posted by Brock, 10:42, 22nd April 2004:
 
friday: No he isn't, you cheeky mare!!! I am me. Whereas Grim... is Grim...

Duh!
Posted by Brock, 10:46, 22nd April 2004:
 
syl: What do you mean? When there are just women involved? Surely the ability of one lover is directly related to the ability of the other?

You can't be good in bed with a girl that lies there like a sack of spuds, can you?
Posted by Grim..., 11:14, 22nd April 2004:
 
I thought I was Brock.

Oh well.
Posted by Brock, 11:22, 22nd April 2004:
 
Back to the rank and file for you, boy.

Sorry to dispel your illusions of grandeur.

;)
Posted by syl, 11:39, 22nd April 2004:
 
"You can't be good in bed with a girl that lies there like a sack of spuds, can you?"

true

3. Women are less violent than men
Posted by Brock, 11:41, 22nd April 2004:
 
True.
Posted by Grim..., 11:50, 22nd April 2004:
 
I'd disagree with that.
I wouldn't say they are any more violent, but outside nightclubs and in rough estates you get plenty of fights between women.
Posted by friday, 12:13, 22nd April 2004:
 
"You can't be good in bed with a girl that lies there like a sack of spuds, can you?"

Brock - you mean that if she lies there you can't make her move?

Maybe then, women are better lovers?
Posted by Brock, 12:15, 22nd April 2004:
 
Some women wouldn't move if you crammed a cattle prod up their arse, mid-scuttle. Seems to be something to do with being too self-concious or uptight to 'let go' to the moment.
Posted by friday, 12:17, 22nd April 2004:
 
try central heating
Posted by Sul, 12:19, 22nd April 2004:
 
Ready Brek?
Posted by friday, 12:20, 22nd April 2004:
 
yeah that gives a good orange warm glow all over - good advice there Sul
Posted by Grim..., 12:22, 22nd April 2004:
 
Ugh - I hate Ready Brek.

%$£"^"$£^$^%^£$%
Posted by friday, 12:25, 22nd April 2004:
 
shows how long I haven't eaten it and hence not recognising the spelling mistake
Posted by Sul, 12:30, 22nd April 2004:
 
I did wonder but couldnt be arsed to look it up

£!$"^%"$^"%^$&
Posted by Uncle Moc, 13:17, 22nd April 2004:
 
READY BROCK???!!!

so to these girls wear chastity belts or something?
Posted by friday, 13:19, 22nd April 2004:
 
I think they would need to incase Brock appeared with his cow pokers
Posted by Uncle Moc, 13:22, 22nd April 2004:
 
Is that what they call his alter egos these days?
Posted by Brock, 13:35, 22nd April 2004:
 
friday, stop obsessing about my cow poker...

You're starting to fidget and grin, you dirty minded girl...
Posted by Grim..., 13:40, 22nd April 2004:
 
I read that as 'Fidget and Grim' =]
Posted by jeffld, 15:48, 22nd April 2004:
 
Sure fire way to upset women, ask the eternal question.

Is it that time of the month
Posted by Brock, 15:56, 22nd April 2004:
 
"Ahhhh. Is ickle grumpy-face on the blob?"

/flurry of angry blows
Posted by Grim..., 16:00, 22nd April 2004:
 
"Fucking hell! Is it period time again?"
Posted by Brock, 16:08, 22nd April 2004:
 
Still one of the best expressions I have heard...

"Never trust anything that bleeds for 3 days and doesn't die."
Posted by jeffld, 19:28, 22nd April 2004:
 
In my experience, apologizing to women is usually a lesson in futility, but I'll do it anyway.

I'm sorry to all those women that were offended by my last post in this thread.
Posted by Perclissigi, 19:31, 22nd April 2004:
 
Apologising to women: get used to it...
Posted by Brock, 19:35, 22nd April 2004:
 
Or die lonely.

With full testicles.
Posted by jeffld, 21:17, 22nd April 2004:
 
3. Women are less violent than men


you never met my exwife....
Posted by friday, 07:59, 23rd April 2004:
 
I was going to suggest that you men with your women frustrations should seek online sex; but I came to the conclusion that sex offline is much more fun
Posted by syl, 08:32, 23rd April 2004:
 
Hear hear
Posted by WarHead, 08:52, 23rd April 2004:
 
Yes it IS, when you're getting some, but when you're not, on-line is an interesting diversion.
Posted by friday, 11:55, 23rd April 2004:
 
I think it's really hilarious to get asked if you want cyber sex on the second line into an IM when you haven't typed anything yet or know the person
Posted by WarHead, 12:00, 23rd April 2004:
 
The SECOND line? These guys you meet are sure slow.
Posted by Grim..., 12:17, 23rd April 2004:
 
Well, if your on dial-up you don't want to waste money chatting, just get in there.

Grim...:Hi
Friday:Wanna fuck?
Grim...:Hell ya!

If only real life was more like that =]
Posted by Alfie, 12:21, 23rd April 2004:
 
Real Life:

Grim...:Hi
Friday:Wanna fuck off?
Grim...:Hell! :(
Posted by Grim..., 12:23, 23rd April 2004:
 
Exactly.

Or perhaps:

Grim...:Hi
Friday:Hi
Grim...:What the fuck am I doing in Africa?
Posted by Brock, 12:23, 23rd April 2004:
 
You can surely be more forward on that sort of thing, though. Unless you can actually become a cyber-slut, and catch cyber-crabs.

They'd be like the aliens on "Space Invaders"
Posted by friday, 13:21, 23rd April 2004:
 
*snigger*
Posted by WarHead, 13:51, 23rd April 2004:
 
Nope, I always wear a cyber condom.
Posted by friday, 14:27, 23rd April 2004:
 
what the hell does that look like?
Posted by Brock, 15:17, 23rd April 2004:
 
Rubber gloves. Just not pulled on all the way, to leave the little bobbly-hat bit.
Posted by syl, 15:27, 23rd April 2004:
 
Yours fits in a rubber glove, eh? (thumb or pinkie?)
Posted by Brock, 16:17, 23rd April 2004:
 
Cyber condoms would go over your hand, doofus, cos you either type, or use a mouse.

"Joey"
Posted by friday, 16:18, 23rd April 2004:
 
maybe he is not using his fingers to type?
Posted by Brock, 16:19, 23rd April 2004:
 
ewwwww
Posted by arsepuppy, 16:25, 23rd April 2004:
 
"Joey"

Arf!
Posted by syl, 16:49, 23rd April 2004:
 
What is the 'joey' joke?
Posted by WarHead, 16:50, 23rd April 2004:
 
FFS - a cyber condom is VIRTUAL, innit!!!! I just TELL HER I'm wearing one and she tells me not to flush it down the virtual bog afterwards as it clogs up the virtual soilpipe.

Obvious.
Posted by arsepuppy, 16:51, 23rd April 2004:
 
Joey Deacon?
Posted by Alfie, 16:51, 23rd April 2004:
 
Baby Kangaroos
Posted by WarHead, 16:54, 23rd April 2004:
 
Mind you, she goes into a virtual fit if it virtually bursts.