iamcal.com Since May 2000

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• Hello!

Hi ever since my parents split about 5 years ago i haved moved all over when i was in the 6th grade i was in about five different schools and it is really begining to suck well that time has come again where i will be moving and the reason for moving is a good one but just the thought of it chills my bones is there anyway that i can relax? i havent really been accepted very well in my current school is there any tips that can help me become more accepted in this new school? thanx alot ~~ME~~

Stop posting on here, start going out and making friends.
Instant popularity.

Tell that to Cal. Ha! And tell that to mostly anyone on this site

Cal doesn't post on here very much anyway

we can't go out cos we're stuck at work. What's your excuse?

Hey Brick? How much longer making fun of you do I have to do to get approved?

Meh.

Still thinking about it.

Bit fucking slow arent you!! Yes or no???

I smell trouble ahead ....

Yes, I'm a bit slow approving you.

And No, I'm not about to do it anytime soon. The more you ask, the less inclined I feel to do it. Cos I'm a cunt.

:p

Of course, this may provoke one of the others to approve you, just cos I won't, but we'll have to see.

Kids are so pushy these days, aren't they?

I'll have to show the little twat the back of my hand before long.

*grumble*

I agree, no fuckin patience.

I agree with the cunt part

Like you'd know what one was....

oh. Hang on.

I guess you'd remember, actually. It's only been a couple of months since you came out of one.

Well done, fuckball. you may want to try posting that again...

You really want to start a fight?

From Moitio's profile:

"14/m/Stockport, UK
Single, but can't be arsed getting a g/f "

Hahahahahahahahaha!! Can't be arsed to get a girlfriend!!! Hahahahaha.

Yeah. Ok, then.

Response to the original post:
You'll fit in if you smile a lot and be yourself, it's as simple as that really! If anyone says anything bad about you, just laugh it off that usually works.

Moitio, I've approved you. You seem to get Brocks tits.

Yeah, just be well wacky and zany. You'll make loads of friends like that.

Oh and do this;

Is he cramming that stick up Bashir's arse?

And is he grimacing with pain, or laughing? It's so hard to tell.

"I interviewed Diana, and she cried and everything! And now look what I am reduced to.... *sob*"

O and Brock... yea i will post it again

And fuck it up twice.

Well done. Maybe get a grown up to help you with the keyboard, you little fuck.

Guess you can't post images with sticky back tape and an old toilet roll. Blue Peter lied to you!

Fuck you. It's my shyt host

Unless, of course, you're saying I look like a little red cross. In which case you are not only a cheeky little feotus, but you are way off the mark.

Now go and play in the sandpit.

Head first.

refresh fuck face

Well done. At last you have managed to display Photoshop skills that even I would be proud of.

*sigh*

Sorry! I meant "that a 3 year old would be proud of".

oh. Hang on.

That is you...

Its kinda like a mohikan

That was a boring read.

fuck you. times it by 4.66(rec)

Stockport!!!!! Ha, ha, ha, haaaaaaaaaa.

Fucking Stockport. I HATE Stockport. Forget what he said about not being arsed about getting a g/f. He'll have to move before he qualifies.

moitio: You talking is bad enough. Talking to yourself, however, I will NOT fucking tolerate.

Grrrarrr. Scary.

Brick: Your talking is bad enough. But why do we have to hear it out your arse.

Because it is level with your head when you are sat in your pushchair, stumpy child. It must resonate down my body or something.


(Hey, Hanni.)

:)

Well I can't really make out the shit that comes out of it

Maybe I should bend down...

"Shooby-booby boooo, chuckums.... Shibby-boooo!"

Better?

No its as fucked up as you are

*sniff, sniff*

"Oh, how your words hurt..."

errr, nope. They mean jack shit. That was it.

like u?

Snappy comeback, feotus! That was great!

Reminded me of my childhood and such heady insults as "Yeah! So!", and "No. YOU are!".

/reminisces fondly

Not forgetting the deeply cutting and essential brilliance that was "My Dad's bigger than yours, and he's gonna kick your dad's head in!"

Twat.

Damn. Missed it again.
:p

Missed what, pinksocks?

no it's not, you lying cunt. you typed http://www.....

retard

I was going to float around making witty interjections into your arguement but alas I missed it.
Side : What images floating?

*argument

Second that. I grew up in Stockport, and it's a right shit-tip. You know there's something wrong with the place when the town's claim to fame is the second largest brick structure in Europe. As someone once pointed out, who else would use something so small (a brick) to build something so big (a viaduct for the train line).

I live in Cheadle Hulme but the closest town is Stockport. Cheadle Hulme is an alright place. Not big, but full of scallies and that type of folk. And this is in the outher suburbs of Stockport. What is the world coming to??

I still support the team though :)

Full of scallies, eh?

hmmm.

Yea. I hate scallies. I hate their fucking guts.

Thay walk around absolutly pointlessly in the rain waiting for some small kid to walk past. Then they beg for money for the bus and spend the earnings in the shop behind them. Unless it's a co-op, then they just rob the place

*whoooooosh*

No, I disagree. I come from Cheadle Hulme too. It's alright for Stockport. Compared to the rest of the world it's the most soul-destroyingly dull suburban place I've ever been, full of cocky little shits who think they're "all that" *shudder*. I really implore you to move out as soon as possible. It's worth going to university just to see how much better other towns are.

As an aside, I'd like it noted that I've used two quotes and some italics in the last five minutes, having not done any html before. Expect further excessive use of html soon.

I am not going to move out soon. I think I'd much rather finish my education first. Cheadle Hulme at least compares to Edgerly and such places.

And have you ever used HTML before?

Edgeley is indeed a shithole of the highest calibre. That's my point though - living next door to that Cheadle Hulme is bound to look good.

I've done html for websites (I cheated though and used Netscape Composer), but I've not used any of the bells and whistles on here before. (Note another use of italics for that)

I've escaped to my dads for the weekend anyway. He lives in the country side. Good part about it is that there are no scallies. The bad part about it is that there is nobody...

I'm going now. I'll see you all later.

I know no-one else cares, and I doubt many people have read this far down through a discussion of Stockport's geo-demographics, but I feel sorry for moitio stuck in Stockport and am now more inclined to give him slack for being a bit of a tit sometimes.

Sorry Brock, but if you'd spent your childhood in Stockport you'd know what I mean.

bet there are bunny rabbits in the country side
bunnies are grand

Buuuunnnniiieeessss.
We Love Bunnies
Bunnnny Bunnny Bunnieeeessssssss
[repeat to fade]

I thought countryside was one word? That's two people in a row who've spelt it as two. Hang on while I check the dictionary...

Yeah, one word in there.

sorry too busy dreaming about the bunnies
that we love

I was more worried I was wrong than you lot.

I'll have to remember the bunny excuse. ("Sorry I burnt your dinner, but I was distracted thinking of bunnies. *wistful sigh*")

Oh yes. A lot.

Bunnies I mean.

How much we love them.

a lot of bunnies????

I think you can have too much of a good thing. Maybe about 10.

You can never get enough bunnies.

I think they get a bit creepy when there's more than 30. They just unnerve me for some reason. That episode of Father Ted where there's loads of bunnies freaks me out a bit.

You need to bear in mind, when considering the one or two word countryside debate, that Su lives in New Zealand. There is so much of it over there that they felt that just one word was insufficient to describe it. I believe they officially adopted the 2 word approach in June 1994.

Little bit of history for you. One of the main reasons Peter Jackson chose NZ to film the LOTR trilogy was because of him being so impressed that such a country side existed, and so merited 2 words just to transmit it's impressively beautiful wildness and vastness.

Detractors have tried to spread rumour that the 2 word approach was purely as a talking point, so that NZ was not referred to as "Those long thin islands near Australia". This is erroneous, and rather mean.

hanni - if you need to correct yourself, just click "edit". no need to post a message saying so :)

Yeah, it used to be called newzealand for quite a while as well. And then there was all that commotion with Auck Land.

before that it was moo zealand - what with all the cows and all

And then, briefly, it was glue zealand, when everyone just accidentally spilled PVA glue over everything they owned.

Then the sun came up and melted all the PVA.

don't forget the sheep
they were all fashioned from the PVA that wouldn't dissolve

Hah. Please keep this sheep away from direct sunlight and objects it may stick to.

Sheep... What's the point??? The one thing we've got enough of is sheep. Why clone them? There's too many! And now we're cloning rats. What is the world coming to?

I'll tell you the point: Mutton and Lamb. Why clone? Well have you ever had that one Lamb kebab that you thought was the best you've ever had? Well with cloning that sheep you could ALWAYS have a kebab that tasted that good. Lets not let all the good tasting sheep become extinct!

Lol.

Opps Soz

OPPPs Sorry

:D

Sorry

How is that "new start" thing working out for ya moitio?

Ah. Cheers Cal - I shall try that one next time :)

I don't know. I think I feel different.

And Alfie, I thought you hung yourself. There was me getting excited...

getting excited? you into that sort of thing? kinky.

who is this fucktard?

That's Alfie, he's been here for a while.

Bah =]


"£$%^*(£$%^&*£$%^

Yes you are Grim... its a capital "A".

Yeah, I spotted that.
You're next, IP boy!

God, Opera is crap at viewing this site. You've basically got to navigate around and hit CTRL+F5 on each page.

Long live IE =/

You said you wouldnt tell anyone about my impotence problem. :'(

=] only Grim... uses that twaty smiley

twaty?

3 't's in 'twatty'.

And three 'hurs' in Hur, hur, hur.

Your spelling is bloody awful at the moment, Chay.

I thought the arbeit/albeit fuck-up was bad enough....

Someone else on here uses it too, I remember seeing it.

There not on much, though.

It's just a smilie.

If you want me to switch to :o) or :) or something then I will.

Bain used a similar one once.

Please don't use ' :o) '

Why?

:) looks too squashed up in this font.

What about :-) or : ) ?

I'm not going to comment on the use of smileys.

But if I did, I'd say how they make me want to boke up all my internal organs into a big bloody heap and then stub a cigarette out in the middle of them.

You stay sat on that fence, Doc. I'm sure they want your opinion, but you stick to your 'middle of the road' guns...

:)
:)
:)
:D

bain uses :] and ;] alot

The basic smileys are ok, I think, but the more obscure ones, and ones that are supposed to mean something, but bear no resemblance to a visual representation of it suck badly.

That, Mr Henderson, was why I don't like the o_O thingy. 'WTF' makes more sense if you want to abbreviate, to me. I just choose not to abbreviate.

"bear no resemblance to a visual representation"

are you fucking blind? you don't need to tip your head sideways. it's two fucking eyes. twat

Two eyes and a twat? I've not seen that smiley before.

you obviously haven't been looking on colondee.com ;)

awww, tried searching for twat and it's not there. (Story of my life some may say)

www.colondee.com/279/

Genius.

O_o O is the wide open eye _ is the mouth o is the slightly squinted eye. Hardly rocket science Brock

I love the irony of moito initially telling us all to go out and have lives when he is in fact a 14-year old programmer.

o_O


^^ LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MR THOM YORKE!!!

Hur, etc.

"are you fucking blind? you don't need to tip your head sideways. it's two fucking eyes. twat"

get a fucking grip! When have you seen someone confused by something and so decide to squash their fucking nose flat, and make one eye twice as large as the other?

Fark orf. Not in theslightest is that obvious. It doesn't even look like two eyes, such is the disparate size between the two. Unless you and Alfie look like some sort of quasimodo-looking motherfucka's (2nd reference today)...

i still stand by my comments

I would tell you to kiss my arse, too, Cal. But seing as this is your site, I shall respect your authority and standing within this community and merely say:

"Slurp my Butt"

I'm with you, Brock, this time. Here's one for you:

|
.

Obvious, see. Brock (a long, thin thing) standing proud over a small dot whose point was poorly made (or some shit like that).

Got to say, cal, with a URL like "colondee.com" I'd be staying well fucking clear. Sounds terrifying to me!

See, you're thinking of coloninvaders.com

They aren't connected at all. Abe Frohman doesn't run the colondee one.

An appreciated word of caution there, thanks. How's colon invaders open then?
"It began one dark night. It began with a man too long without sleep to stop the other geezer jamming a shaft up his arse?"

Abe, you cunt! You run Coloninvaders?! And I still have to pay! That's just bang out of order.

Yeah. We know you pay for the coloninvaders, Sul.

And then some...

Pffft. When I got my first credit card they phoned me up a few days later to make sure all the online transactions were mine. I told them it was all porn and they understood. - FACT

It was nice of them to check though...

Do you get frequent flier miles? Did you use it to buy a super absorbent mouse mat?

Thats a bit of a lie. It was my second credit card.

Porn's got me in so much debt...

Women get you into debt too.

At least it doesn't take you 4 months to kick porn out of your flat, from fear of losing your deposit though...

Yeah right, you've obviously never tried to cancel a subscription to college fuck fest.

Why would you cancel?

Poof.

Because it was costing far too much and they dont update as much as they say. Lying fucks.

(that wasnt a lame pun)

Wow - I've had a narrow escape there. Thanks Sul.

Here is cal doing a typical WTF, in this case it's "WTF are you staring at? Never seen a guy in a flowery hat before???":

note the mouth and lack of nose

BOWCO. That is cool. Never met him, but I'm sure I'd recognise him in a crowd.

www.kiddiepornsnuffmovie.com

Alfie: A seamless defense there. And there was me thinking that you would put up some fucked up photoshop image in order to prove your point.

Guess I must be an old cynic.

Carbonite uses =] as well.