Discussion » Friday Survival Guide

This is a read-only copy. The forum ran on iamcal.com from 2000 until its database was lost in 2016, and this topic was rebuilt from copies saved by the Internet Archive's Wayback Machine. Some replies may be missing.
Posted by friday, 06:58, 27th May 2004:
 
I am writing one, inspired by a recent email from someone in the states asking me if we have water and electricity here.

Can you think of some good questions that you might ask if you were to embark on a trip to Africa for the first time?

Clean, humurous results will go into my 'Friday Survival Guide'

Thanks!
Posted by Brock, 08:55, 27th May 2004:
 
Clean, eh?

/gets coat
Posted by friday, 09:17, 27th May 2004:
 
I was going to add a comment just for you Brock, but thought you would work that out soon enough.

I was right!
Posted by Grim..., 09:17, 27th May 2004:
 
Lions live in Africa, right?
Posted by friday, 09:23, 27th May 2004:
 
yep
Posted by Grim..., 09:29, 27th May 2004:
 
Well, that could be one - what happens if I come across a lion?


*snigger*
Posted by Brock, 09:32, 27th May 2004:
 
It'll bite your cock off.
Posted by Brock, 09:33, 27th May 2004:
 
...assuming it had no gaps between it's teeth, and so could get a grip on it.
Posted by Abe Frohman, 09:53, 27th May 2004:
 
Tell us again about how you aren't gay.
Posted by su, 10:18, 27th May 2004:
 
i want to know the best place to see elephants
Posted by WarHead, 10:22, 27th May 2004:
 
Have you tried the zoo?
Posted by su, 10:35, 27th May 2004:
 
yes but that elephant died 20 years ago :(
Posted by friday, 12:46, 27th May 2004:
 
su - in one of the national parks

Abe - never even remembered you suggesting I was

Grim - stand your ground - apparantly
Posted by Abe Frohman, 12:49, 27th May 2004:
 
Not you, friday. I was referring to Brocks fascination with cocks. And his inevitable 'No, you're gay' retorts when someone points it out to him.

the c**ksmoker
Posted by friday, 13:18, 27th May 2004:
 
:-)
Posted by Grim..., 13:41, 27th May 2004:
 
Friday - are you sure?

I've heard you walk toward it, looking at the space above its head, making lots of noise, shouting, clapping your hands or whatever, trying to scare it away.

Unless it's with it's cubs, in which case you do the same, but walk backward =]
Posted by su, 13:46, 27th May 2004:
 
i thought you got robert redford to protect you
Posted by Brock, 13:47, 27th May 2004:
 
Surely just wipe it off and apologise profusely, would be a good start.
Posted by su, 13:48, 27th May 2004:
 
or what about putting out a bowl of milk - all cats love milk
Posted by Saltation, 14:12, 27th May 2004:
 
Grim: but wouldn't it bite your arse then?
Posted by Brock, 14:37, 27th May 2004:
 
Only if it could dislocate it's jaw for a wider opening.
Posted by Saltation, 14:42, 27th May 2004:
 
his arse has a wider opening?
Posted by Alfie, 16:04, 27th May 2004:
 
with it is cubs?
with it is jaw?

im limiting my spelling nazism to the wrong they're their there and you're your yore, and it's its it is
Posted by Sul, 16:21, 27th May 2004:
 
Do you have topless double decker buses so the passengers can pet the girraffe at traffic lights?
How do you keep your pet giraffe off the sofa?
How much does an average giraffe leash cost?
When I ride my giraffe would I be wise to put blinkers on it so it doesn’t get spooked by double deckers?
Posted by Sul, 16:22, 27th May 2004:
 
Can you get the Stella in africa or would I have to drink some crazy homebrew?
Posted by Sul, 16:23, 27th May 2004:
 
What's the childrens TV like?
Posted by Sul, 16:23, 27th May 2004:
 
How many telly stations?
Posted by Sul, 16:24, 27th May 2004:
 
Age of consent?
Posted by Sul, 16:25, 27th May 2004:
 
Do you really need all those injections? They're just a waste of money aren't they?
Posted by Sul, 16:28, 27th May 2004:
 
Who's leg do I have to hump to get a dry martini around here?
Posted by Abe Frohman, 23:51, 27th May 2004:
 
Don't forget questions like:

What's with the proliferation of AIDS and overpopulation?
Are those fucking Catholics to blame?
Posted by su, 23:55, 27th May 2004:
 
where do all the cute men hang out?
Posted by Sul, 23:59, 27th May 2004:
 
round my place... we sometimes have orgies :)
Posted by Abe Frohman, 00:01, 28th May 2004:
 
What's with the big paws?
Posted by Sul, 00:02, 28th May 2004:
 
got any bread?
Posted by friday, 07:09, 28th May 2004:
 
ha ha! Sul, you're on a roller there! That's just the kind of questions I wanted! (the giraffe ones)
Posted by friday, 07:11, 28th May 2004:
 
I actually got asked the other day, how much the vendors on the street charge for a bag of chips, from a guy who was here a long time ago. Guess he wanted to work out how much everything else was going to be from that??
Posted by friday, 08:43, 28th May 2004:
 
www.geocities.com/fridaysurvivalguide/
Posted by cal, 19:31, 28th May 2004:
 
"Is it true there is no Internet access?"

the irony of this question being on a web page about malawi is genius
Posted by Brock, 20:04, 28th May 2004:
 
Yeah. Visions of Friday, with a laptop on her head, travelling for 14 days (because she keeps getting stranded or her car nicked like in the other questions), so she can go to the next country to plug into a phone line...

Would make checking e-mail and updating the Malawi websites a bit of a ball-ache, eh?
Posted by friday, 08:33, 31st May 2004:
 
Yeah Brock now you can see how hard it is for me to post, update my sites, send email etc.....
Posted by su, 12:00, 31st May 2004:
 
wow you do all that just for Brock ;)
Posted by Brock, 17:40, 31st May 2004:
 
I'd expect nothing less, personally.

:)
Posted by friday, 07:57, 1st June 2004:
 
and in return I get, what, exactly, come on tell me, so I can see if it's really worth the effort...
Posted by su, 08:37, 1st June 2004:
 
oh friday
asking what he wil 'GIVE' you
is a mistake of diasy stalk proportions
as i already have all his money
Posted by Brock, 09:09, 1st June 2004:
 
You tell me what you really want, friday, and I will endeavor to provide.

I am a very accomodating bloke, really. Try me.
Posted by Abe Frohman, 09:13, 1st June 2004:
 
Do you want a Zig-ah-zig-ahhh, Friday?
Posted by Brock, 09:17, 1st June 2004:
 
hehehe
Posted by friday, 10:54, 2nd June 2004:
 
*blushes*

What is a Zig-ah-zig-ahhh?

*blushes again*
Posted by Abe Frohman, 10:59, 2nd June 2004:
 
Dunno, something Spice Girlsy.
Posted by WarHead, 11:03, 2nd June 2004:
 
It was what a lyricist wrote when he/she ran out of ideas when writing 'Wanna be.'
Posted by Brock, 11:14, 2nd June 2004:
 
/watches Abe back slowly away from revealing too much Spice Girl lyrics knowledge
Posted by Abe Frohman, 11:20, 2nd June 2004:
 
I think it's code for 'be megastars for a year or two, then slowly piss all your money away on divorces and breast implants whilst becoming a joke amongst your peers, spending the last of your fame as ruthless media whores desperately trying to drum up interest in yourself'

Quite liked 'Spice up your life' though.
Posted by su, 11:24, 2nd June 2004:
 
i loved the spice girls movie
Posted by Alfie, 11:25, 2nd June 2004:
 
O_o please tell me you are kidding su
Posted by su, 11:30, 2nd June 2004:
 
i loved how super 'righton' they were by helping their ethnic pregnant gal pal
Posted by Brock, 12:00, 2nd June 2004:
 
I may have just lost all respect for su...
Posted by su, 12:05, 2nd June 2004:
 
and plus it was sooo cool how they all lived together on a bus
Posted by Brock, 12:19, 2nd June 2004:
 
Spice Gypsies, if you will.
Posted by su, 12:23, 2nd June 2004:
 
the aliens were neato
Posted by Saltation, 14:34, 2nd June 2004:
 
Spice Travellers