iamcal.com Since May 2000

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• Hello!

I just had a chippie for my lunch. Not good for me I know but I needed to soak up some excess alcohol.

Whats everyone else havin?

The usual.

which is?

Froot.

Today it's a gratefruip, a napple and a rather dodgy looking nana.

*Waits for the innevitable joke about dodgy looking nanas*

It's friday, so down to the local for burger and chips, and a pint of 'coke'.

Is that all you have for lunch WH?

Not had any dinner, drinking later.

Yeah Foggy, that's all. It's my attempt to eat healthily, at least some of the time. Plus there's no preparation, unlike sarnies.

We visited upon my lifestyle not long after I signed up here. I have the link here if you're bored and have nothing better to do.

meat curry and boiled rice. twas lovely

Meat? Can you be less specific?

/bored
/clicks link
/still bored

is it lunch time already?
I cant eat because i appear to have some sort of cyst growing on the roof of my mouth :/

cyst? Eeek!

could be an abcess. who knows. fucking hurts though.
hmm, since becoming 23 on wednesday i've thrown up and felt nauseaus the entire time, i've also had a crackingheadache, horrible period pain and now this wierd growth in my mouth... i think i'm trying to use up all my bad luck for the year in one go...

no, actually what happens is you turn 23 and you die. body explodes in a shower of defunct parts.

and hurry up, you're taking your time about it.

ah shit.
hang on, how's warhead still here then??

and me!

well, in fact about half the people on here, i mean that brick guy, he's so old he's gone bald...

I'm actually so damn young, I still haven't grown any hair from being a baby.

bitch

;)

if i gave birth to a baby as ugly as you i'd probably leave it in a supermarket... then remove my womb... and have the man responsible sterilised....

slag

Blimey, don't mix it with jeff when she's in pain. Pure vitriol.

And btw, i may just be a web-bot, sent here to keep you amused, and not in fact be a sentient human at all.

Whirr, whirr, click, click, short term-memory overoading, buzz, buzz, pht.

quick quick , more electrons for WH

I was left in the Supermarket as a baby, actually.

An elder from a tribe of love gods found me and raised me, training me in the ancient arts of their love-making skills. Apparently I did well with my training.

:D

sure they weren't shelf-stacker gods?

Nah. I'm shit at shelf stacking. They were definately sex gods...

i was raised by elevator gods

they had really cool uniforms with lots of braid and big epaulettes

is that how you spell epaulettes?

and does anyone care?

apart from my elevator god foster parents, of course. i'd ask them, but they just shout things like "GOING UP!!" and "THIRD FLOOR!!" from really close range so it's not a lot of fun or even enlightening

"Whirr, whirr, click, click, short term-memory overoading, buzz, buzz, pht."

If he's a robot, I reckon he was programmed in Japan...

unless, right, you didn't actually KNOW, at the time, what floor you were on or what direction you were going

&^%%$&)(

&$&%&&^£%$( again the other way *^*^()^%$^E

or maybe he's a really crap 4WD robot, that can't overland cos it's too crap so he just goes over-roading instead

we could call him The Hedgehog

run-over-roaders

WarHead <-> WarHedgehog ..... coincidence?!? i think not

god i'm bored

does it show?

hello? oh crap, everyone's gone and got a life.

i'm here by myself

hi sal

hi sal,

so, wotcha doin?

oh, not a lot. just sitting here having a conversation with myself

no shit!? really?? wow, what a coincidence, that's exactly what I'm doing as well!

no shit?! this is fantastic, amazing, what an incredible coincidence. hey wow, we should tell everyone!

i think we just did:

...

....

.

 .

.

ok, i am now SO bored i am not even here anymore
<pffffwwip!>

Phew - I thought he'd never go.

thank god for that... now where's the booze?

do you need to bathe that cyst in alcohol jeff?

Hello

What's up Alfie?

<pffffwwip!>

EVERYTHING should be bathed in alcohol AT ALL TIMES!

<pffffwwip!>

But it stings in some places.

I have a stinking headache. One of those ones when there is a storm brewing and it makes your head feel like people are pressing down on it.

Hopefully there will be a storm to clear the air.

I guess I could go take a tablet or something. The last tablet I took was nothing stronger than a travel sickness pill when I was 7 (which made me feel sick) So I not about to start pill popping now.

I'm off to bed, fingers crossed I feel better in the am.