Discussion » I Need Some Quotes

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Posted by friday, 10:07, 16th June 2004:
 
Hello everyone!!

I am to do an opening and closing thought for a presidents installation dinner and I need some help.

Any one got anything good?

My friend is being installed as president of one of the training clubs I belong to, it's her second term as president.
Posted by Brock, 10:26, 16th June 2004:
 
What sort of quotes? Need more to go on!
Posted by Abe Frohman, 10:31, 16th June 2004:
 
I would imagine that, being in Africa, you don't want to be quoting Ron Atkinson.
Posted by Brock, 10:33, 16th June 2004:
 
hehe
Posted by friday, 11:30, 16th June 2004:
 
something inspirational I think, not sure, that's why I am asking

who is Ron Atkinson?
Posted by Abe Frohman, 11:37, 16th June 2004:
 
A naughty naughty man.
Posted by Sul, 13:21, 16th June 2004:
 
Opening - "Come on everybody clap your hands, now you're looking good, I'm gonna sing my song and you won't take long, we gotta do the twist and it goes like this." - Chubby Checker.
Closing - "Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a bitch." - Stewie Griffin
Posted by Lyn, 13:43, 16th June 2004:
 
I found this website for you Friday : www.coolquotescollection.com/cat/wisdom/...

I like this one :

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking, so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within, it's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Nelson Mandela
Posted by Lyn, 13:51, 16th June 2004:
 
and this one

The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them.

William Clayton
Posted by Lyn, 13:53, 16th June 2004:
 
Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

Ralph Waldo Emerson
Posted by Saltation, 14:24, 16th June 2004:
 
opening quote: "

closing quote, presidential: "you won't have old nixon to kick around any more"
Posted by Saltation, 14:26, 16th June 2004:
 
some good quotes here, could be worth browsing around: www.quotationspage.com/qotd.html

eg todays are good:
Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.
Oscar Levant (1906 - 1972)

Anyone nit-picking enough to write a letter of correction to an editor doubtless deserves the error that provoked it.
Alvin Toffler

The only people who find what they are looking for in life are the fault finders.
Foster's Law

Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some smaller countries are neutral.
Robert Orben
Posted by Uncle Moc, 15:39, 18th June 2004:
 
"I am king of the jerkos! Look at my clenched fist drama school, pupils!" - Abraham Lincoln, Inauguration Speech

"You don't get fat by eating butter. You get fat by eating too much butter. Look at me. I ate so much old greacy rancid butter, and now I'm fat and ill. Dear god I'm ill." - Lou Reed

"You know what they say, party lovers, you can't spell Weekend without Ken! But where's Ken when you need him? Prodding some floozy with his prosthetic penis!" - Winston Churchill

"Chin up, lad. Things could be a lot better. You could have your entire face burned off and have to mask the damage with a bowler hat and a white leather gimp mask." - Dick Van Dyke
Posted by WarHead, 15:44, 18th June 2004:
 
These are lesser known quotes, I take it.
Posted by Grim..., 15:59, 18th June 2004:
 
£100 for parts, £320 for labour?

I can't believe I'm the first person to make that joke...
Posted by Abe Frohman, 16:00, 18th June 2004:
 
What joke?
Posted by Grim..., 16:01, 18th June 2004:
 
"You don't get fat by eating butter. You get fat by eating too much butter. Look at me. I ate so much old greacy rancid butter, and now I'm fat and ill. Dear god I'm ill." - Lou Reed


Genius.
Posted by Grim..., 16:02, 18th June 2004:
 
/wanders into the 'gentleman' thread to be rude about Abe...
Posted by arsepuppy, 16:07, 18th June 2004:
 
I don't get the joke either :(
Posted by Grim..., 16:34, 18th June 2004:
 
Fools.
Someone with half a brain explain it to them...
Posted by arsepuppy, 16:41, 18th June 2004:
 
Oh I get it now.

"I need some quotes"

Shite joke, mind.
Posted by Sul, 16:46, 18th June 2004:
 
I got it. It's a quote for work innit. Like on a car or a radiator. Or a table that got scratched while you threw a wild paarty and needs an expert French polisher to sort it out before the parents get back off holiday. You've got the rest of the house in order, bought new goldfish, taken the bbq equipment out of the pond, taken the burgers out of the guttering, washed the dry cum off the stairs. You just need that fucking French polisher! Where the fuck is he?!



Fucking French
Posted by Grim..., 17:09, 18th June 2004:
 
That was a yellow pages advert, wasn't it?
Posted by Grim..., 17:13, 18th June 2004:
 
Wow, if you search Google for 'fucking french' iamcal.com doesn't even get on the first page!
Posted by Sul, 17:22, 18th June 2004:
 
Yes I was refering to the yellow pages advert. And the bbq equipment in the pond thing is a true story from when my dad decided to empty the pond a year after I had a party and found all our missing bbq equipment at the bottom of it. He blamed that for killing all his fish. I blame the fact that a few people fell in the pond several times as well as bits of burger and chicken drumsticks.
Posted by jeffld, 17:47, 18th June 2004:
 
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk

Do unto others before they do unto you

You're ugly and your mama dresses you funny

I did not have sexual relations with that woman

No, this suckers electrical, but I need a nuclear reaction to generate the 1.21 Jigawatts for flux dispersal

Damned if you do, damned if you don't

I'de walk a mile for a camel hehe keep your mind out of the gutter people

Oh great. I lost my train of thought...
Posted by figroll, 17:53, 18th June 2004:
 
Hello all.I been so busy lately hence the absence.

So my quote is "Ill be back" or "I'm back" or something like that.

Brock I'm sure you will drag me over the coals for lack of punctuation .............etc. But hey feck ive forgot how to type.No slagging my typing Brock cos the next time you get a shag ull prob have forgot how to do that too. :)
Posted by Brock, 18:59, 18th June 2004:
 
Tell me about it. Even masturbating is getting tedious.

I'm going to see what I can do about it tonight, as I am meeting up with someone later on if I don't get pissed and fall asleep under a table somewhere.
Posted by jeffld, 02:20, 21st June 2004:
 
"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked."

-- Bernard Meltzer.

I immediately thought of Syl for some strange reason.
Posted by Uncle Moc, 09:28, 21st June 2004:
 
Wow, if you search google for "washed the dry cum off the stairs", Iamcal is the first hit!
Posted by Uncle Moc, 09:29, 21st June 2004:
 
Cum, both wet and dry, was caked on
Posted by syl, 10:44, 21st June 2004:
 
Thanks jeffld...that is very apt.
Posted by cal, 03:06, 22nd June 2004:
 
" " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " "

hur hur hur
Posted by friday, 07:13, 22nd June 2004:
 
but I am still struggling to find the right quotes
Posted by Saltation, 08:57, 22nd June 2004:
 
start on the left, then go rii---ight to the other end
Posted by Brock, 20:38, 22nd June 2004:
 
Cal: Nice! I'm so pissed I didn't think of that!
Posted by Saltation, 22:13, 22nd June 2004:
 
nyah nyah, i did it first
:P
Posted by Brock, 22:18, 22nd June 2004:
 
Yeah, but Cal's funnier than you, fuckface!
Posted by Saltation, 15:57, 23rd June 2004:
 
only cos he put "hur hur hur" so you would know where to laugh