Posted by
cal, 05:26, 3rd August 2004:
June 2004
Samantha baywatchrulz247@yahoo.co.uk (single_n_lookin): hiya wanna chat cos i do asl plz
su: thank you for sorting out the fucking flickr group shit
jeff: happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me! happy birthday dear meeeeeeee! happy birthday tooooo meeeeeeee.... (i'm competing in the national most tragic individual awards and i think this will make me a shoe in!) (what the hell does shoe in mean anyway?) x
fuck england: england is fuckin shit and all the english bastards are just fat fucks and the all hav small dicks and they r all gay and they r all orange bastards
su: your tie is on crooked
tomsk: b3ta seems to be down, just thought I'd let you know
mark@darkskiez.co.uk: I found your site from the administrative contact for b3ta, please kick neuron.com into resolving b3ta again. I'm hung over and bored :P
Steve / emp: Your FOAF needs updating.
bain: hi cal, mum wants to know when you're getting back so someone can pick you up from airport/station/whatever ;]
9814922541: hi how r u?
Doc: At one time people thought that if a pregnant woman had bad or frightening thoughts, or if she encountered gypsies or a fish with a gaping mouth, she would have a baby with a cleft. We now know these stories are not true
Salman Rushdie (Doc): Cleft palate means that the hard and/or soft palate failed to fuse during uterine development. Essentially there is a hole in the roof of the mouth connecting the mouth and nose. The degree of cleft palate ranges from tiny holes to a large central fissure running from front to back of the roof of the mouth and affecting the upper jaw line (hare-lip). Sometimes both palates may be completely absent. There is a possibility that heredity is involved (e.g. due to short or broad facial shape in Persians and Exotics). Generally cases are random and due to abnormal fetal development in the womb, possibly due to metabolic disturbances, drugs given to a pregnant cat, to chemicals or radiation.
su: can you run down to the shop and pick me up a bagel?
+905554132921: DASDASDASD
+21263441293: hi
m-kay: What is this site hay :S ?
m-kay: your all shit ! .... fucking idiots cant you see that..--- dogs i hate dogs
unknown comic: what's the greatest thing aboot screwing twenty six year olds? There's twenty of them!
Tom Coates: My mobile's down and I've just realised that I'm signed in with AIM in about six different locations at the same time. It's tonight you want to crash right? You'll have to e-mail me or IM me now to get through and organise when to meet and stuff. Tom.
Brock (Doc): i'm gay i'm gay i'm gay oh isnt it SO funny that i'm gay? did i mention that i'm gay?
+359889215326: ortoijg
019-4275409: Hi,dear:)i love u
019-4275409: Hi,dear :) i love u
07909586244: hi, just testing this!
07909586244: i just wanna say that I LOVE YOU!!!
Brock (Doc): Pistol Packing Penis Pulverizers!!!! Man Hunting Horny Whores Looking To Score On You!!!
Rosie: Hey cal. Hope you are ok. I'm having a shitter of a day. I've got a total brainfuck happening. When are you coming home? Is it sunny where you are? I'm going to sit on the loo for a bit to waste some time before i can go home.See Ya. x
Venus Mack/MsVenMack@aol.com/2051270: Wat up Michael NEwayz do u get mad when tv shows make u look like a fool? Holla at ya gurl Venus
0423212298/ jcoha1@eq.edu.au/ Bambi_did_tha@yahoo.com: hi. im bored so who r u any way. can u please sms me i kneed more sms's.
Jeffld: Wassup!
anon: seizmabitee
905336671436: hey there
+91982652502327: Hi Jittu where are u ? what are you doning . Why always the mobile say swiched off. Venkat
01203326416: Dear Sudhir sir, How are you ? I am waiting for you come as soon as possible. Venkat
chocolate_banana_404@hotmail.com: Hiya. Iv got this new boyfriend, i snogged him in this nite club and have been talkin 2 him on msn 4 3 weeks. we are seeing eachother now but i dunno what to say to him when we go 2 the cinema! help
anon: hiya wanna chat
anon: hi lusy i want talk u
966507586694: hello
00966507586694: haye
July 2004
lippychick444@hotmail.com: LEE DAINTON IZ SERIOUSLY DE MOST FITTIST BLOKE ON EARTH. I ENT MISSED ONE EPISODE. HE'S THE MOST FUNNIEST PERSON AND HIS LAUGH IZ BRILL. IF I MET LEE ID FUCKIN GET DWN HIS BOXERS STRAIGHT THE WAY
hopper1172002@yahoo.com: waz going on all?
plzsmile2003@yahoo.com: hi. any female wanna chat?
03004159280: hi how r u
Julie: i like your dick
Dan Dog (Doc): I like the way you felt the need to specify that it was your cock you were wanking there, AP.
emmyobione@yahoo.com/08033602964: hi ,what's up with you.cheers
obi emeka/emmyobione@yahoo.com/08033602964: hi, what's up with you.cheers .
919886318761: Hi
Sol: I'm a cunt, I'm a void full of hot spunky cock - but in reality I'm an ugly cunt - so I'm a void full of foul smelling cheeze really, dont you just want to lick me. To see a list of all iamcal.com members with profiles, click here.
becky_555@hotmail.com: what is this
Lea: Cal-ifornia looooove!
Uncle Moc: iamocmocmocmocHey -I've just put a photo up of my arse!
twolitresofcider"hotmail.com: hiya any1 wanna chat hit 334
+971507849478: k,h,h,jhj,m,j,h,h
Lea: AAA! Cal, I'm here. Sorry, I was in a long meeting. I'll message you more details in a sec.
Lea: Cal, Brett will pick you up at the Ramada at 4:30PM then he'll drive to the south side to pick me up and then we're off to WEM. How's that sound? His cell phone number is xxx-xxxx.
babak: hi
anon: i love you
jomulowayi@hotmail.com: yea
charlotte_joanne_bffe@yahoo.com: how old were u when u did ur 1st song
Amit amit@yahoo.co.in9872481152: Hello are YOu
jen: yo cal hope van is fun and the new batchelor pad is as cool as it looks!
Ed (Doc): so i grabed my pint glass and jug of fosters
Ed (Doc): so i jammed a pizza flyer round the doorframe
Ed: there was this huge fucking brass spider
Jeol: Cook some noodles in boiling water, pour off the excess water, and let the noodles cool off. Then make a penis-size hole in the pasta, which should be fairly stuck together at this stage. Then away you go. The wet pasta should be enough for a lube. Caution: Don't be too eager with this one to avoid burning yourself, the pasta must have cooled enough so you could hold a finger inside it without any problem. And please, don't serve the pasta to your family afterwards!
moitio (Joel): I just started recently experimenting with some of really creative jackin' suggestions on this site. I must say that the pasta/pasta was OUTSTANDING. Didn't take all that long to cook up the pasta. Suggestion: don't really need to cook up all that much pasta. Loved sticking myself in the very warm pasta/vagina. Felt an awful lot like being inside my wife. Came really fast. Sure I'll be cooking up more pasta in the future.
billy (zxenor): mom, you're late! soccer practice ended. pick up by fountain in 10min
Thebreadman (Joel): Nothing says erotica like a naked woman surrounded by bread
kelly: well you recive loads of txts on ure fone and it coasts how u get rid of them
0125838280: hai
alam: nice to meet
alpha775@hotmail.com: reply. kiss for you. DMG Officer
faceman (Doc): BA Baracus's brother told the Faceman his friend wuz trying to beat the crazy wolrd record of 19 masturbations (the darn Faceman know it's not but You Foo know what Mr.T mean) in a day, but so far only managed 13...and that crazy wuz at his prime, now it's Helluva like 5 apparently..but Hannibal reckon Murdock could beat it...Foo!
08155292428: gdf
bikermach: hello all
Saltation (Doc): www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=GMRLH8B&key=TSR
Chay (Doc): i mean what i tell people is what are u suppose to touch if they ain't got an ass!!!!
pommygrannit: sat on my rabbit
Lea: WAAA! I didn't even make 3rd place. ;_; Kim made 2nd place, which was good, but I couldn't even get 3rd place. What a burn!
azrim: im a scandinavian .
Axl (Doc): I am 14, a freshman in high school right now and from what I've seen this has gotten none of us anywhere! Perhaps it is because you females are immature in seeing past our personal attire? If many of you think like you say you do, then why can't you engage with us outsiders? Is it fear, or embarrassment, or repulsion? Please be honest with me! I would like the truth.
Grim..., (Doc): yeah you giggle, its like anxiety laughter, because oh fuck you are alive, for the fucking love of god you are alive, and it tastes like rice pudding, delicoius perfect rice pudding and there is literally gallons of it around you
Stalker: oooh... weird text send thingy ma jig ;-)
chimexo2004@yahoo.com2377775002: JUSTINE LOVE CLARIS YES OR NO
Dr Lucid (Vic): I aM VIcoR!""$45
0732082658: hi are u at work miss u c u soon luv monique
ego0: yo i wanna make a quick easy dusscussion board. Any tips? thanks
elina: Honya's sad - her Flikr site isn't working.
elina: Ha - Honya's fine now. Flikr is fine.
Vigo (Doc): Cal went all the way to Vancouver, / Where he prolapsed himself with a hoover, / Brock's penis was sharp, / Sul drank like a carp, / And Vic told Rosie he'd "soothe her".
37744200637: tung prove
Rosie: Hey cal! Hope u r well. I met Vic and I think he's great! :D
anon: fdsjnfdsjcxnhpşxcıhohğpdacıghohpcxdıugccvytdipğjvpşncutgjğlfdjlghcıffpjhx
Eddie (Doc): Sul and Brock are kind people but both are pretty sick. But really funny if Brock refused to give your boyfriend a blowjob an he asked why, he could just tell him to do it himself. hehe
kaminimannarg@yahoo.com: i miss you
kajal roy: i am 28yeares old
Ab: They allege Brock "was designed to entice and attack children" and that he took the boy to his home and forced him to record a video singing his praises.
+97339880084: Slatkei i am sens sms from my computer :) I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH!!! Prikin' dirthday of Elissa 11/12/1972 like me only years diferent. Amut alek amut feek Walla! If you take my messages please make for me miss call in my worke +70957834266.
+79032618250: Hi