Discussion » If you didn't have to

This is a read-only copy. The forum ran on iamcal.com from 2000 until its database was lost in 2016, and this topic was rebuilt from copies saved by the Internet Archive's Wayback Machine. Some replies may be missing, and its dates are approximate.
Posted by su, around 2005:
 
Be where you are today, doing what you are doing today
where would you be be today, and what would you be doing?
Posted by RUSS, around 2005:
 
in a random pub,driking beer
Posted by RedAndWhiteMan, around 2005:
 
At home, in bed.
Posted by RedAndWhiteMan, around 2005:
 
Err, Fighting Crime. Yeah, Fighting Crime.
Posted by su, around 2005:
 
Saving the world from clowns

they are evil
Posted by Brock, around 2005:
 
I don't mind being here. It's having to post here from work that pisses me off, and not in a pub with a WiFi laptop in a Doc-stylee. That'd be a better alternative.

Then my posts would get progressively harder to read and potentially funnier throughout the afternoon. AP posts some funny shit when he's pissed.

What say, Vic? We can rob a computer shop, find a wireless-enabled pub and fight over stupid arsed log-in names all afternoon, as we drink till our livers get out and slither home of their own accord.
Posted by su, around 2005:
 
can i take photos?
Posted by Brock, around 2005:
 
Yeah. Go on then.

I'm not getting my 'meat and two' out, though. I know what you're like with your 'candid' photo's, su.
Posted by WarHead, around 2005:
 
Do you have a camera?
Posted by WarHead, around 2005:
 
Hmmmm, lemme think.

Probly in a bus shelter with a few tinnies of Strongbow and a few like minded 'friends.'

And smelling of old pork pies.
Posted by WarHead, around 2005:
 
Or ....

perhaps I'd be a professional public transport loony.
Posted by su, around 2005:
 
'meat and two' now that, is an attractive turn of phrase.
Although 'trouser snake' is possibly the most lame description i've ever heard
Posted by WarHead, around 2005:
 
Flask and oranges.
Posted by WarHead, around 2005:
 
Now I come to think about it, I wouldn't mind being a changing room attendant at Anne Summers.
Posted by Victor Menendez, around 2005:
 
Sounds good Brockles, but there's no point buying the laptops, we'll just go and mug the probably not hard to find, Doc.
Posted by Brock, around 2005:
 
Genius twist there. How many stumpy little long haired fucks can there be in Brighton with forks sticking out of their eyes?
Posted by su, around 2005:
 
won't he recognise you from your needle like penis and run away
Posted by Brock, around 2005:
 
Yeah, but I have longer legs, and it's needle-like size is hardly likely to slow me down or trip me up, is it?

I can out run that freak, I would bet. He'd look like Mr Benn - all legs and no progress.
Posted by su, around 2005:
 
so it's the size of a needle?
needles are teeny tiny
Posted by Brock, around 2005:
 
I meant these needles

:D
Posted by su, around 2005:
 
that is one deformed "flask" you have there
Posted by Brock, around 2005:
 
Yeah, but think of the girth...
Posted by su, around 2005:
 
If that is the package, you claim to posess (Not that we have ever had any supporting evidence to prove it) i think it would make running rather uncomfortable. So yet again my vote is on the Doc

Pluse Doc has Dolores, Sexy, and Salman to act as his boyguards
Posted by Brock, around 2005:
 
Oh no! I foresee me and Vic beaten up by a hairy dwarf wielding multiple personalities.

Pah!

Vic can kill people with his bare hands, He used to be in the army. I laugh in the face of Doc's defenses.
Posted by su, around 2005:
 
were you really Vic?
Posted by Victor Menendez, around 2005:
 
I'm not fucking with Uncle Moc though, He's got a gun.
Posted by su, around 2005:
 
Salman can slay you with words
Dolores can get her boyfriend (lou from naighbours) to bitch slap you
Posted by Victor Menendez, around 2005:
 
I'm not worried about Salman, I'll just shop him to the Ayatollah.
Posted by Brock, around 2005:
 
Yeah!

/me points over Vic's shoulder at Su

This is like being at school again. Standing behind the hard kid, and just agreeing with him at the appropriate moment.
Posted by nov_eclectica, around 2005:
 
I would be at home with my husband. Cuddling, kissing and making love. I am going to be gone for two weeks and he won't be with me. Guess I need to log in all that love making before I go.
Posted by Victor Menendez, around 2005:
 
Hey, if you were going to be gone for four weeks, you'd be.....




wait for it......


Gone 'till November.

/coat
Posted by WarHead, around 2005:
 
That silence you can hear is the sound of a thread, killed stone dead.
Posted by Andy, around 2005:
 
Attempt to rescue thread:

I'd be downstairs drinking tea and playing on the Xbox rather than stuck on my computer working in my room.
As I'm on here typing this, I'm obviously not actually working any more so maybe I'll cut my losses for today and pack it in. There's a whole weekend left yet to do work.
Posted by WarHead, around 2005:
 
Bolleaux - I have to be here at seven o'fucking clock in the morning to let the air conditioning men in. Where's the justice in that.
Posted by Brock, around 2005:
 
Yeah. The irony. What with you being so cool anyway, WH. Your life sucks, dude.
Posted by WarHead, around 2005:
 
Ah yes, but I am a grumpy old man and therefore resigned to having a life that sucks. It's a 'feature.'
Posted by Foppy, around 2005:
 
I'd be in a drain somewhere, looking for an exit after being lost for three or four hours.
Posted by Saltation, around 2005:
 
i did that 2 weeks ago. THIS friday i was at a stately home for a wedding and apple scrumping around noon then on the turps from early afternoon. a good friday.
Posted by Meatwood Flack, 23rd November 2007:
 
and now my hands are all covered in bruises
Posted by Sul, 23rd November 2007:
 
Anywhere, banging away at Kylie's chuff.
Posted by Redmaiden, around 5th December 2007:
 
chuff AHAHHAHAHA
Posted by Saltation, around 5th December 2007:
 
i must admit, it's not kylie's tits i fancy so much as her lovely wild chuff