iamcal.com Since May 2000

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• Hello!

A nice thread for people to tell iamcal 10 about their lives since iamcal 9 shattered into tiny pieces and washed down the drain.

Stopped being an unemployed bum; am now an employed bum.
Moved up to Didsbury (Manchester) into a nice new flat.
Started a new job on March 9th (Architectural Visualisation and some TV work)
Looking forward to Reddy moving in sometime in the next couple of months.
Will be our two year anniversary on May 24th :)

Joined flickr and made some new virtual friends and acquaintances.
Tried to save the jobs of myself and my colleagues from going down the tubes following a nasty efficiency review. Successful so far, but next year could be the end of the line for life as we know it.
Went cold turkey on night time web-surfing in an attempt to get a reasonable amount of sleep.... and possibly a life. Limited success so far.

I moved from the tropics of Southern Africa to the blistery coldness of Newark, Nottinghamshire. Been busy decorating my new house and my new website. Swapped going out and socialising for broadband and staying in. Took the children at Easter to Skegvegas and spent far too much money on the 2p arcade games. Thoroughly enjoying the novelty of British summer time...

Don't get me wrong, I'm no owl hater, but occasionally you are sneaking aroud in the barn late at night, and an owl will come plunging at you with it's claws out right in front of you, and fighting the owl is the only real option. The last time I was sneaking around, a proper big barn owl launched itself at me, obviously believing I was a large mouse or another type of prey. I put up a good fight, and beat the owl against a large wooden pillar that no doubt was integral to the structure of the barn, but this didn't prevent the owl's claws sinking yet deeper into the skin of my arms. Much as I beat this owl against the pillar, it would not let go. I would not stop the frenzied thrashing of a man impaled. It would not the instinctive sinking of claws into agressor. It seemed like a no-win situation. Eventually I threw myself on the ground, yelping like a sick meercat. The owl seeming to sense victory, relaxed its claws for a moment. I leapt up, grabbing the owl with both hands, and bashed it into the pillar one last time. Whilst it lay dazed, I ran for cover, refusing to leave my farmhouse for two days. Within a matter of hours, the owl had retained all normal functions, and is now housed in my barn. Everything is back to the way it used to be. Has anyone else here had a similar fight with an owl? I would love to hear from you.

Fantastic!

Not an owl, but a cat. This, too, is a true story.

Where I used to live three was this long haired white cat that lived in one of the houses behind mine. It used to sit on the yard wall between the houses, day in, day out, come wind rain or shine. I rarely saw it move, it was either on the wall, or nowhere to be seen.

One day, it appeared in my back yard and seemed to be pretty chummy, and being a cat friendly person I went to stroke it. All was well until I got to its tail, when it suddenly span around and sank its claws into my forearm. It looked at me. I looked at it ... in disbelief. I didn't dare move for fear of it ripping its claws out of my arm, so I just had to wait until it finally retracted its claws and did a runner before I could boot it up the arse.

And the moral of that story?

Don't try and stick your finger up a cat's arse.

- broke up with mrs b six weeks ago (after 26 months)

- chopped the barnet off (no longer look like moc)

Still a photographer in Leicester, use up my spare time whoring and drinking. woo hoo.

Since iamcal has been down, I went to the bathroom and saw a vibrator with several attachments on the vanity. One was a cup obviously meant to fit over a man's penis. It took me all of a few seconds to have a powerful orgasm. I then had to clean up the cup attachment, and rejoin the others. Later, the guy told me he had left it out on purpose, listened at the door, and heard the motor. He was so matter-of-fact that it didn't bother me. I went out immediately and bought one of those things! Nice!

non

Not much.

Although I am getting married in August =/

I went all a bit fucked in the head for the best part of last year. Obviously shattered by the loss of iamcal v9. Returned to work early this year and all is going pretty good. I nearly lost my job and house in the process though. Still, at least I've had my first court appearence. Moody bastards in them places though; full of people who cant get decent work in Law. I am now happily self medicating through heavy cocaine usage and sleeping pills. It's all socially acceptable now, innit. On par with smoking.

The loss of iamcal has increased my productivity at work. I'll be much happier once I am less productive. I need to pawn off the work that I have taken on so that I can indulge in the conversations of iamcal.

You have my sympathies grim :/

Looking for a house to buy and a new job.
Still waiting for my first niece or nephew (a week late today).
Still waiting for New Zealandish chocolate.
All is well in my world.

the intent of the new zuland chocolate is there, it's just that i keep eating it :/

I never bothered with iamcal. Consequently its collapse had no effect on my life. It's fucking cold here though.

i'm american, and i don't ever post.



except now... and some other times.

(but it's fun to read)

*cough*zxenor.phreque.com*cough*

Started working for Research In Motion. Spend half my life on the opposite side of Canada to Cal, other half in London. Nothing else apart from that.

started a chocolate package for miki, kept eating the contents of the package.

sniffle
save some for meeee

chocolate package *snigger*

Since iamcal has been down I have turned 40, became a grandmother and started my own business.

A grandmother at 40, goodness.
Did you suddenly feel the urge to start knitting?

or start drinking more?

You could aim to be a great great great grandmother by the age of 80.

I very nearly caught a pigeon yesterday. We lured it close with Jamaican Ginger Cake and then I grabbed it with my leather gloves. It panicked, flapped its wings about, and then escaped. I'm not sure what I'd have done if it hadn't got away. (Cue for Brock to make bestiality joke).

Since iamcolin has been down, I haven't actually had the internet very much, so haven't really missed much. Ha. It was actually because I didn't have much internet that it's been down. Ha. I am cal.

Hmm. Became performance poet. Got bloggue. Got taxidermy. Wrote great stacks of words about Freud and Woolf and Julian Barnes. Now I've got a 6 month holiday from school to be a bartender and practice my compulsive lying.

I love Julian Barnes' writing. FACT

Cool. My essay was about A History of the World in 10 1/2 Chapters, England, England, history, subjectivity and authenticity.

"A History of the World in 10 1/2 Chapters" One of my favourite books ever. FACT

Second only to Behind The Scenes at the Museum by Kate Atkinson

I like 'The Very Hungry Caterpillar'

i like 'where the wild things are'

Atkinson is pretty cool. I preferred Human Croquet. Her collection of short stories is cool as well.

Just finished reading a biography of Gordon Brown and Foucault's Pendulum by Umberto Eco.

Vic really does like the VHC. It's not the first time I've heard him refer to it as his all time favourite book. Seriously.

I'm just reading the last story in that KA collection today Doc.

Human Croquet is great too.

It's amazing to thing that Behind the Scenes was her first novel though.

O cool. Have you read Barnes' latest collection of short stories. Amazing. Depressing, but in a good way. Kate has the same degree as me.

Anyone know another famous person who likes the VHC?

redandwhiteman ?

Of course.

George W Bush

he was asked what his favourite book was as a kid. He said 'The Very Hungry Caterpillar'. Which didn't come out until he was in college.

Oh, of course!
He was reading it while his helpers were telling him about the Towers, wasn't he?

"Sir, the country may actually be at war..."
"Shut up, this is the good part!"

That was "My Pet Goat"

I don't think he enjoyed that one as much.

It probably brings back pretty crappy memories for him now =]

Yeah, he never did find out what happened to that goat.

No doubt some red-hot animal farm action.

And not the Orwell type either.

I expect the farmer has to wear oven gloves if he is rearing red-hot animals.

And by rearing I don't mean in the Brock and Abe sense.

Ha! Animals that cook themselves =]

hehe
:D

In the new "iamcal10" I'm definitely not heading in the vege argument direction. :)

Chay, you'll know more about this than me: My female mate is thinking of having a baby, but she's vege - should she try eating some meat while she's pregnant? She's worried that baby could be missing out on nutrients if she doesn't.

Well I wouldn't take advice from me. But as I understand it, it is perfectly okay to be a vege whilst preggers. But I think you have to keep a close eye on certain nutrient levels and perhaps have some supplements. I don' really know. A Google search will probably throw up some useful websites but asking at the doctor's would best for piece of mind.

an expert

family fun

a book

Consensus is "yes" with plenty of diet advice.

I see there are no auto links right now.
so I've made my own.

That's pretty much what I thought: If you don't, you'll need supplements.

My brother and his wife have just had a kid, it's called Jack Daniel Squirrell =]

If you don't eat meat you don't necessarily need supplements.
If you DO eat meat you might need supplements anyway.

Moral: Take supplements =]

and get some expert advice either way :)

Yes. Don't get drunk and ask your friends.

iamcal10 shall be here on in known as iamcalX

and each new version will cost you all $100 to upgrade, but for some reason you wont mind

(cal is not impressed with Tiger)

Tiger?

(Tiger is the name for the latest OSX version, Grim..)

I heard that when it's sunny the weather module casts light out into the desktop. Sounds good, but wouldn't pay to upgrade. Plus I don't have a mac.

Borrow one off Brock.

I may have to wash it first. The inside is all manky.

grim: > My female mate is thinking of having a baby, but she's vege - should she try eating some meat while she's pregnant? She's worried that baby could be missing out on nutrients if she doesn't.

humans aren't naturally veggie, and though the liver can work around a lot of dietary deficiencies, the alternate chemical pathways are typically very costly and very prone to bottlenecking on missing co-nutrients. eg. you can technically substitute flaxseed etc for fish oil, but if you have even slight nutritional deficiencies elsewhere, the entire conversion fails and you might as well have not eaten the seeds.
result: if she can stand it, a small amount of NUTRITION-DENSE red meat with lots of fat, especially fish oil, is likely to really really help the baby. it's very hard to get nutrition dense red meat in the UK: try http://big-island.co.uk or else get venison. it doesn't need to be expensive -- if you're not exercising much, you will be full after about half as much as usual.


cal: yeah, i'm sticking on panther for a while. it's still way more clunky than 8.6, mind. OS X is SUCH a disappointment compared to MacOS. it's just another bloody unix + filemanager, woo

Sal; Don't mean to be blunt, but that's rubbish.

Alfie will back me up, I think.

http://www.vegsoc.org/info/preg.html

http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/pregnancy/pregnancynutrition/1313874.html

http://www.ecomall.com/greenshopping/vegpreg.htm

http://www.vrg.org/family/adatranscript.htm

http://www.andrews.edu/NUFS/Vegetarian%20Diets%20During%20Pregnancy.html
That last one seens a pretty scientific one. Some of the others look like they were written by hippies.

I would back you up Doc, but I will not be drawn into this argument again.

Basically I don't want to be in a position where Salty's comments cause a rise in my blood pressure that undoes all the health benefits of my vegetarian lifestyle.

Wow! It's great to see the site back again, and many familiar users posting. Good job with the site, Cal - very nice! :)

In the time since the site has been away I've done many, many things (including building myself a new machine). However, by far the best thing I did during this time was finally escaping the clutches of Safeway for a better-paid job at Capgemini, which I'm enjoying immensely! :D

rubbish? tosh

but i'm not saying it's not possible to be vegetarian. it's just bloody hard unless you're willing to really work at it. and given how sensitive the baby's development can be during pregnancy, along with the very low nutrition levels in uk vegetables (50-98% drop in vitamins since 1948), seems kinda a big risk to take with someone else's life, is all.

oh cal, while i think of it, i discovered today not to use 'cp' on Mac OS X. use 'ditto --rsrc' instead. i was moving usernames around and thought i'd discovered some neat defragging, then looked a little closer. i'm tossing up about aliasing cp to ditto in my .login...

and what the hell tar is doing is anyone's guess

I have no idea what you are talking about salto.

As for tar, tar wraps multiple files into one file. Kind of like the way that PKZIP does, but tar doesn't do compression. Use Gzip for compression. Gzip and tar are often used together.

i think salt's talking about resource fork copying, and how cp and tar work with OSX specific file-y bits.

are you using HFS+ or UFS? (i use UFS and have no problems, but i never touch systemy stuff like user folders. and i only use the command line)

*WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH*

@Gary, looks like we are colleagues then :)

Yay! :)

Hello again Gary!

Alfie; you're probably right.

Sal; I just found the idea of these pregnant women desperately searching for these tiny cubes of nutrition dense red meat quite an entertaining one. I'm such a bad vegetarian. Not that I eat meat, just that I'm malnourished. I've had less hot dinners than.. um..

Hey, Doc. :)

oh yeah and i've been a bad little girl on flickr and if i'm unlucky i might get reported to the staff.

ooooh what did you do ?!

bad sue

i proposed that brock become the thought police for flickr

bad bad sue

sick sue

I don't get it :(

Link!

Yeah, linky!

why, don't you want brock deciding what is right and wrong?
punishing all who think wrong?
treating girls who think right?
punishing boys who think right?

i mean it's a win win situstion, and really he'd be awful good at it.

Yeah, but think what it'd do to his ego?

I have become an auntie today :D
my brother + wife had a baby boy this morning

Your wife?

Auntie Miki :D

aunty miki :D

uncle gobbo :D

which would be scarier
uncle brock
uncle able
uncle vic
uncle moc
uncle apathy
uncle jesse


bring back polls

Bring back polls!

Congratuulations Miki! Good vicarious child producing!

Ell, that's uncanny. I just did a very similar poll related post in "Feature Wishing List".

Shorely I'm already an uncle, and thus have had more practice.

I would vote uncle brock is the scariest and uncle moc is the best :D

doctor lucid and uncle moc are one in the same?

what the?

You're thinking of Doctor Record.

Or Lucy Moc, I forget.

i'm sure cheesysexygirlprincess could sort it all out for us, if only she was here

I miss RedAndWhiteMan.

Would love nieces and nephews. Going to sabotage siblings contraception.

No, Uncle Moc is Doctor Lucid's uncle. Hence the name.

This confusion all broke out when Cal and Sul came out of the closet.

. . . as the same person, I mean.

Do you mean Cheekysexygirlprincess1337?

What up bitches?

I thought chris was cal's boyfriend

And why don't you still think that?

well brock is cal's bit on the side, so i guess he has room for a boyfriend as well

sorry to hurt your feelings vic, but I meant the chris that came back from Ireland

err, that's who I meant, cal and I are just good friends.

sure sure
it's ok, we all know cal's dropped you for a better looking toyboy
i know it hurts, but you still have brock

Yeah, Brock's my silver medal.

And you're my wooden spoon.

Although, to quote the magnificent Sul "I'll be the big spoon, bitch"

If anyone mentions Button Moon I'll inflict Doc-style pain.

Spoon in your Frikkin' eye?

vaguely re veggie: v.interesting notes herein re changing mineral needs at key points of adolescence

"Races react differently to dietary salt"

"Almost 40 percent of adult peak bone mass is acquired during adolescence, so we can directly affect the way a body ages by regulating calcium at this age."

During the first session, half of the girls received a low-sodium diet and half received a high-sodium diet. The diet was reversed during the second session.

Researchers found:

• Adolescent girls need to have the equivalent of four cups of milk a day to take full advantage of the time when their bodies can develop peak bone mass.

• Adolescent girls keep 25 percent of the net calcium they consume, but by the time they are young women, it drops to 5 percent.

• Caucasian adolescent girls lose more calcium through their urine than African-American girls, resulting in lower bone density.

"Salt intake affects how the body uses calcium at a critical time of bone development in young girls, but in whites more than in blacks," Weaver said. "This is something that should be easy to monitor in order not only to ensure healthy bones in adults, but also to reduce health-care costs of our aging populations."

damn (edited)

Vegetarian Swallow Balls

In no certain order...

* Left university (DMU, where arsepuppy studies). Went home and did fuck all for a few months.
* Applied at last minute to study philosophy in London. Got in.
* Now live at home and commute
* Briefly started learning to drive.
* Started writing book
* Reswitched to PC, though mostly use Linux. Now am three OS user: Windows, Mac and Linux
* Developed new interest in biology (evolution).
* Met a few celebrities (of the wispy intellectual type rather than the glamorous idiot savant type)
* Been elected to office as student unionista
* Moved site to Wordpress
* Now spend hours on tube.
* I audioblog (or 'podcast', but that's a silly word)

So Salt makes a post about "Salt intake in teenage girls". Hopeful? About as hopeful as Mel waiting for Steve Owen to come home and whisk her away from Phil's scheming.

Tom, did you hang out with the Ass Master (of Dogs) at DMU? Or did you never meet? (or somewhere in between).

Started writing book? How many pages? And what is it about?

No, never met bumdog. Shame.

And my book is on pseudoscience. I've written about 30,000 words so far. Don't know what on earth I'm going to do with it once it's finished.

psuedoopublish it under a pseudoenoym

Would you recognise each other if you passed in a coridoor, both distracted by your particular forms of academia? Actually, Jeff went there as well, didn't she? (No word from Dr J recently? Jeff? You well? Not locked in a basement? Not locked in Brock's basement? Brick? Let her out! Tsk. Dirty old man.)

Were you doing Philosophy before? Pseudoscience as in "if I put this device designed by Russian doctors on your spine it will sort out your ill back", as in "I just need to realign your energy flows", or.. um, I'm sore there's a much more usual definition of pseudoscience that I've missed out. Darn it all to heck.

she put some new pics on flickr so Brockles must have a pc in his basement

Nah. I don't want Juff any more. She has gone all boring and miserable so I lost interest.

Mardy = no fun.

I am looking for a new person to leer at. Jeff was great because she would almost instantly retch, but I imagine that finding someone else to do that shouldn't be too hard...

:)

I'm guessing I should actually say what's been going on in my life.
Still working on my Music Production degree
Still with Jen (the lady whose parents live in Texas)
Moved into a student house
Getting very behind with my work
Generally being lazy
Not such a happy bunny
About to start a new pub job on wednesday, and i've also got a job teaching keyboards.
Wow...
That's about a year of my life condensed into a paragraph.
Odd...

and i've also got a job teaching keyboards.

"NO! When I press 'F', you put an 'F' on the screen!"

excellent grim

hey firat time on the site or whatever.Is there any girls on this site cause it seems to b just guys.

sorry first time on site noticed a wee mistake

There have been 3 girls (not including Sul, he/she is of indeterminate sex) that have posted here in the last week or two.

Anyway, never mind them, who are you? Are you a feisty young thing, perhaps? Or an old slapper?

Just asking. I don't have any ulterior motives. Ooooooh no.

Hahahaha
Nice one Grimm...
Brock - I'm speechless.
Can't think of anything appropriate to describe just how much of a loser you are! Loser just doesn't quite cut it...

Whatever. She might be a lady of easy virtue, so I thought I would check just to be sure. If she is, we can clamour for a pic, and then me and Vic can try and remove her innocence.

Although I suspect that she may bo so young (if indeed it is a she) that even you would blanche at the prospect of scuttling her.

This is, I ought to point out, entirely hypothetical, Laura. Just pretend you can't see these posts that talk about you openly, and that we are all classy.

Cheers.

(always had a thing for 'Lauras' since a very energetic and enthusiastic girl of the same name met my aquaintance a few years ago. Perhaps this is clouding my judgement, and that the name isn't necessarily indicative of being a demon in the sack).

I'll get me coat.

The only Laura I know is a lesbian.

We're buggered then.

psuedoopublish it under a pseudoenoym

No one picked up on that, Ellipse, but I'd just like to say it made me larf.

Ok just talk about me like im not here its ok i dont mind.im not a lesbian just makin that clear.i came across this site i dont know who but you seem a funny dead on bunch of lads.Yes im young, not a slapper lol.

Damn.

:(

Damn what

Sorry did u want me to say o im a slut and sleep with every guy who approaches me i also sleep with girls.

sorry to disappoint u guys

don't worry laura, brock is our resident man whore
please get used to it.

OK will do.

How young is young? Still in middle school young?
Upper school young? (Tiny raising of one eyebrow) University, maybe?

Oh, and what were you searching for when you 'came across this site'?

Certainly not Brock, for a kick off.

im 18 young im finishin my a levels. i was lookin up FAQ U programme and came across this site i like the show.

My father had this love relationship with our cat, Fred. One morning he set a bowl of mince on the table, went to the kitchen to get something and returned to find Fred munching away at his breakfast. So, my father went back to the kitchen and cooked himself another bowl of mince. Once again he turned his back for a moment, and Fred decided the second bowl was better than the first. :(

The same cat got into my knitting bag and stole my yarn (which was almost the same color as the carpet). He managed to wind the yarn around every chair and table leg in the house, just a few inches from the floor. My sleepy father woke up early for work and was caught in Fred's web. He said it was like he had booby trapped the entire house to trip any silly human who tried to walk on two legs. :)

"So, my father went back to the kitchen and cooked himself another bowl of mince"

Who the hell has mince for breakfast?

In what possible way is that relevant to anything?

hi doc

Hi Miki! How's it going?

I'm good :)
how are you ?