Posted by
WarHead, around May 2005:
Would you agree that Justin Lee Collins is a talentless twat who should get back to shit kicking in Bristol and be banned from all forms of broadcasting? Would you also agree that FAQ U is about as funny as Songs Of Praise?
He isn't that bad. His voice is good. His guests are three times funnier than he is though. Which still doesn't make them very funny at all really.
Not compared to the best joke ever. (TM)
How do you make a bear cross?
(I recently rediscovered www.theweekly.co.uk and it makes me cry with laughter)
Posted by
Brock, around May 2005:
Just watched it.
He's a talentless tit. Next question?
sorry, what was the answer?
and who the hell is justin lee collins and why should we care?
hey here's a funky trick:
after you've posted, hit Refresh out of curiosity to see if cal's v.nifty no-double-post--trapping is recreated, and observe your post re-yellowpulse
wooooooo
light me a jazz cigarette and pour me some of that back whiskey-- i'm a-gonna lean on that refresh key for the rest of the evening, boys. talk amongst yourselves
Posted by
WarHead, around May 2005:
Justin Lee Collins is supposedly a v. funny stand-up comedian from Bristol (hence the accent) who's branched out into TV presenting. He did a prog for Ch4 this week, trying to reunite the Grange Hill kids from '86 to perform 'Just Say No' at the Hammersmith Palais, or some such place. The idea looked interesting, i.e. getting together those kids nearly 20 years later to look at how they felt about the drugs issue, but he made a complete fuck-up of it.
The reason we (in the UK) should care is that he seems to be on TV all the time so we MAY have to kill him.
testing some of the
new tags
The reason we (in the UK) should care is that he seems to be on TV all the time so we MAY have to kill him.
function db_connect() {
$GLOBALS[cfg][db_conn] = @mysql_connect($GLOBALS[cfg][db_host], $GLOBALS[cfg][db_user], $GLOBALS[cfg][db_pass]);
if ($GLOBALS[cfg][db_conn]) {
@mysql_select_db($GLOBALS[cfg][db_name], $GLOBALS[cfg][db_conn]);
return 1;
}
return 0;
}
Posted by
Grim..., around May 2005:
Ooh, TheWeekly!
Did you used to read Amiga Power, Chay?
Posted by
Grim..., around May 2005:
I thought that Grange Hill thing was a huge letdown.
After getting four members of the cast to sing, he proclaimed it "complete".
Fair enough he got a few more cast members in, but I found it far more interesting to see what the Grange Hill people had been doing since they left the show than watching some bearded tit stalking them.
Grim.. my friend used to get it, as I never had a amiga :(
I remember references to Johnny Badman though.
I like JLC but FAQ U was a waste of time. Very unfunny and made some very good stand-ups look like twats (Frnkie for example).
Posted by
Grim..., around 14th May 2005:
Cal still has my last ever issue of Amiga Power, in which all the writers died in amusing ways...
Posted by
Logan5, around 14th May 2005:
Please sign my "Fuck off Justin petition"
links
Posted by
neilm, around 14th May 2005:
Was subjected to that Grange Hill thing (my wife wanted to watch it). Never liked Grange Hill. Don't like JLC. Perfect evening, really.
I've never seen any of it as I am foreignish
we only have bbc 1/2/news24
hey cal, i LIKE the layout-protecting sidescrollbar on the wide PRE tag. nice one.
You should really get out more Salt
hey, good solution to a rare problem -- wide PRE paras can badly stuff the entire page's layout for many browsers, to the point of unreadability. not many people even know about it, let alone fix it so neatly.
not that i disagree with you, mind
Well whoever it was who hated Mr Justin Lee Collins so much may be happy now that on that FAQ U thing he has been replaced this week by the guy from Peep Show. Who isn't any better at presenting it, but contributes some amusing things of his own (when he isn't reading off cards or the autocue). He'd be better as a guest than a host I think.
The German guy isn't very funny though. Other than in a "he's German" way.
Out of context gag of the day...
You should really get out more Salt
I've been enjoying FAQ U. The bloke from The Proclaimers is quite good I think. I agree that JLC is a bit shit, his comedy appears to be "I'm a yokel with ADD" and it's 100x better with David Mitchell at the helm.
Caught Dylan Moran's live show last night on Ch4. That was good. Judging by the adverts for it I thought it was going to be really shit but I found it quite the enjoyable show.
While talking of comedy then, I caught
The Thick Of It on BBC Four the other night. I thought that was really good. Recommend it. Lots of swearing.
Posted by
Brock, around 22nd May 2005:
Dylan Moran was really funny. The pissed ranting rather struck a chord with me, no idea why.
Oh, and as for the Proclaimers:
"When ya GOOOOOORRRRR will ya send BAAAARRRRRRK, a letter FROORMM americAAAAAAAAAAHHH.
Tek a LOOOOOOOORRRKK doon the rayal TRaaaaaaaarrrk.....
etc. etc. ad nauseum.
Fucking Jock cock knockers.
Posted by
WarHead, around 23rd May 2005:
I thought it was
"When yew GOOOOOORRRRR ....." and
"take a lewwwwwwk" but maybe I'm not reading it the way you're writing it.
Dylan Moran was ace, btw.
And Hot Shot City is still particularly good.
wwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllll excuse me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i really like Justin.Hes a fuuny fuck and i enjoyed watchin him on the FAQ U show.If you ask me it was a pity he was replaced, they should have just kept him on.Although the guy from the peep show and the new girl comedian arent too bad.
la la la la la la la la la hello there! as u see im very bored. hey alfie i agree i hate the german guy on it he is just not funny.
Do you like Michael Jackson?
Come on, 'I would Walk 500 Miles' is a great song =]
Hmm... 'I'm On My Way' according to Google.
I don't think I know that one.
I'm on my way from misery to happiness today
I'm on my way from misery to happiness today
I'm on my way to what I want from this world
And years from now you'll make it to the next world
And everything that you receive up yonder
Is what you gave to me the day I wandered
I took a right, I took a right turning yesterday
I took a right, I took a right turning yesterday
I took the road that brought me to your home town
I took the bus to streets that I could walk down
I walked the streets to find the one I'd looked for
I climbed the stair that led me to your front door
And now that I don't want for anthing
I'd have Al Jolson sing "I'm sitting on top of the world"
I'll do my best, I'll do my best to do the best I can
I'll do my best, I'll do my best to do the best I can
To keep my feet from jumping from the ground dear
To keep my heart from jumping through my mouth dear
To keep the past, the past and not the present
To try and learn when you teach me a lesson
And now that I don't want for anything
I'd have Al Jolson sing "I'm sitting on top of the world".
Sorry lauraxox, JLC hasn't done anything to amuse me yet. If you want a funny guy with a funny accent, Bill Bailey is far better.
I would walk 500 miles is an incredible song.
"hey alfie i agree"
hooray!
Posted by
lauraxox, around 25th May 2005:
Rite warhead ill check your guy Bailey out.o my word i love 500 miles song proclaimers r cool.xx
Posted by
Brock, around 25th May 2005:
I have the faintest feeling of 'Moc' about that last post...
HELL YES! I'm so glad someone agrees with me. I DESPISE Justin Lee Collins, he is a deeply unfunny twat without an ounce of talent. His entire repertoire consists of saying how "fantaaastic!" or "rocknroool!" everything is every 20 seconds. And whenever he makes one of his extremely contrived and forced jokes, he looks round at all his guests to make sure they got it. I also hate his extremely annoying pikey voice and irritating false laugh. "Yokel with ADD"-spot on. I don't pay my licence fee to pay the wages of twats like these!
(Alright. I don't pay my licence fee full stop. But that's a good enough reason why)
Incidentally, the CORRECT title of the Proclaimers' 1988 number 11 smash is in fact "I'm Gonna Be", not "500 Miles". Just for info!
Right. Thanks for letting me get that one off my chest.
Posted by
lauraxox, around 25th May 2005:
look come on everyone relax have a drink calm down. Justin is not that bad come on.xoxox
Curse. Link doesn't work.
link(mp3)
Can't Snorkel's excellent cover version of "I'm gonna be".
I might have lied about it being excellent.
Posted by
Grim..., around 25th May 2005:
I don't pay my licence fee to pay the wages of twats like these!
(Alright. I don't pay my licence fee full stop. But that's a good enough reason why)
Even if you did, it's not going to have much to do with a guy from Channel 4, is it?
But you're right about the title of the Proclaimers song, I just figured that people wouldn't know which one I was talking about if I called it "I'm Gonna Be"...
Posted by
Grim..., around 25th May 2005:
Doc - are they you're mates or something?
[edit]He's
in the band?
I thought doc was in the snorkel band.
Posted by
ellipse, around 25th May 2005:
Doc is snorkel
Posted by
Grim..., around 25th May 2005:
What do you play, Doc?
Posted by
WarHead, around 25th May 2005:
Silly buggers!!!11
Doc plays the Bass Guitar and the Harmonica. That's me at the beginning saying "they're lovely beautiful words and we wrote some of them ourself".
Excellent third personage.
Why thank me. You would have written in the second person but then you wouldn't have made any sense and I and they wouldn't have understood you. So you chose not to, quite sensibly, even if we say so yourself.
Posted by
Grim..., around 26th May 2005:
You sound a lot higher pitched than imagine...
What, John Lennon and that big white piano? A sonorous bass drone compared to the voice box of The Doctor.
No, seriously, I phoned the bank after a new cheque book today. About 5 minutes in they asked me why I was ordering a cheque book for Mr Moc. "I am Mr Moc" I exclaimed. They expressed surprise, believing my voice to be that of a woman. Deary me. One day it'll break and then I'll be a proper teenager.
Posted by
friday, around 26th May 2005:
How they can let a bloke have his own TV show with that accent is beyond me.
Sounds too 'country bumpkin' to be from Bristol, my guess is that he is from Taunton or maybe even Highbridge.....
Posted by
Grim..., around 26th May 2005:
Hang on, woah - you're real name is Mr. Moc?
my surname is Moc. Although my phone bill comes to Ms C. D. Moc. Ms? Bloody telephone operators jumping to conclusions!
I could put up with his accent if he was actually funny, but he spends most of his time saying, 'Come ORN,' as though that makes what he just said funny.
He also says "Rock N Roll" alot when he's presenting his show on X FM.
I think he's quite funny. I'd like him to be my uncle. I reckon he'd be cool.
I wish he was your uncle too, and not a fucking radio/TV presenter.
RIGHT FUCKERS JLC ISNT CRAP HES BRILL HES SO COOL I ADMIT HE DOES LAUGH AT STUPID THINGS BUT HE IS FUNNY VERY FUNNY SO SHOVE THAT UP YOUR ASS U FUCKS.
Wow! Could you only afford one punctuation mark?
Fuck off and die in a hole.
Posted by
Sul_DUPE1, around 14th November 2005:
I concur.
Furthermore - I concur heartily.
A hole big enough for just one of you so you have to scramble over each other all the time, bickering. Until one day one of you has just had ENOUGH, let's say Jamal, and he stabs Dave in the brain with his NLP.
Before this happens though guys, I suggest you watch a bit of decent comedy and try some better search terms in the old a'google. Might make for a more entertaining watch on my part.
But y'know, each to their own.
oh, i dunno. i found jamalanddave hilarious. particularly their inability to use capital letters in their name in contrast to their inability NOT to use capital letters in their post, combined with a complete lack of punctuation but the tidiness of concluding with a full stop. also, the stern brisk rolling-up-of-sleeves tone at the outset and the clever clever scintillation of intellect thence unfolding.
Posted by
WarHead, around 14th November 2005:
To kinda bring us back to the twat in questions, I note with some pleasure that he hasn't been seen on TV at all recently. Maybe the TV companies have also realised he's a talentless twat and have droppied him like the steaming yokel turd that he is.
Posted by
jamal, 23rd November 2005:
Im Jamal, and The other guy is (im hoping) Dave. We are movie entrappioneers (even if i cant spell-too lazy to use word) and Justin is the man. Aint no beating 10 things you didnt know about! And leave Dave alone! just because he fat. (he may not have mentioned that!) check us out, even if i do kinda publicise our stuff!
jamalanddave.mysite.wanadoo...
So, to clafify, 'jamalanddave' is just dave under our username, and Jamal is just me! WOO HOO!! and what the hell is my NLP?
I was suggesting that you have a Needle Like Penis. I wouldn't take it as a complete insult though. I watched this porno once where an old lady knitted the
loveliest of jumpers using two NLPs.
Actually, now I think of it, that's a lie. It was an old family christmas video. Poor gran, that was her last christmas with us :(
Posted by
jamal, 23rd November 2005:
i like it. I should point out that i had no idea about the other guy untill i searched google for 'jamalanddave' because i was checking for updates you know, i thought i should spring to his defence. Sorry to hear avout ur gran BTW
Posted by
bumdog, 23rd November 2005:
"entrappioneers"????
*THUD* WRIT LARGE, PEOPLE!!!
To be honest, I'm not sure if I could spell it properly either.
That wasn't the worse thing about Xmas '91. I'd been begging the folks for a dog for the last couple of years and that year my mum had decided to get me one. Unfortunately she likes to do her Xmas shopping in the January Sales. Come Christmas Day all I had to open was a rotting puppy corpse. Still... got a few walks out of it before the head fell off.
coulda been worse. your ma coulda given you head separately.
jamalanddave aka bobnleigh
"Still... got a few walks out of it before the head fell off"
ahahahaaaahahaaahaaaaa
Posted by
jamal, around 23rd November 2005:
Thats just so wrong. So wrong... Yep we ARE bob (Rob to be precise) and leigh. No i cant spell that word, ill use a spell checker now just for the record..well i tried, it seems i cant even get close to spelling it right 'no spelling suggestions'! So check out our site!!!
Posted by
syl_DUPE1, around 23rd November 2005:
entrepreneur
Posted by
mike, around 24th November 2005:
ok so wats the discusion?
Posted by
WarHead, around 24th November 2005:
See above, wombat!
rob'n'leigh?
welcome to iamcal, Mr Robin Leigh!
how's batman, by the way? does your arse sting? is THAT why you wear the oh-so-tight spandex briefs-- to hold in all that's falling out?
Posted by
syl_DUPE1, around 24th November 2005:
I love 'wombat' It cracks me up every time you say it wh
HI DUDES ITS ME DAVE UM I KNOW I WRITE IN CAPS BUT HEY I DONT PLAY BY THE RULES I HATE PUNCTUATION I JUST DONT SEE THE POINT I JUST NEED TO MENTION THAT I LOVE LOTS OF COMEDY NOT JUST JLC BUT I JUST THINK HES GREAT LIKE FROSTYS ANYWAY I THINK ENOUGH HAS BEEN SAID GOOD BYE TILL NEXT TIME........................................................,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Posted by
jamal, 30th November 2005:
Thanks Syl, that had me in a pickle of a jam. Yep, that me, Robin. Dave's lack of punctuation is in fact down to the fact he is a little slow. Not just because of his weight, but mentally too. But we all love him don't we?
www.wftv.com/video/5427132/...
"an' i would like... a shirt... an'... a cigarette ... an'... some shoes"
"gimme your beer"
"gimme your spaghetti"
"DIE!"
"densely populated" is definitely the mot juste
Posted by
jamal, 1st December 2005:
Thanks for that
Posted by
WarHead, 1st December 2005:
Funcap? How apporpriately named.
"an' i would like... a shirt... an'... a cigarette ... an'... some shoes" - maybe he's a bit vague about the difference between Santa and the police.
Posted by
Grim..., 1st December 2005:
He's entitled to cigarettes. Not sure about the rest.
Posted by
jamal, 1st December 2005:
Whats the best christmas song ever. I know what you're thinking; 'what ever happened to the price of fish'. But no! That isnt that good a song, and the original Chas 'n' Dave version was much better! So there
New slogan; 'Save bamboo-Kill a Panda!'
Posted by
jamal, 2nd December 2005:
Wow! Thank you for your witty input.
Posted by
jamal, 2nd December 2005:
Indeed, well blocked sir!
Justin is the man. Funny and eloquant. Better than all the northern tossers that are taking over the telly nowadays. And all the jocks. And paddy's. By the way, the Proclaimers song is called, "I'm gonna Be(500 miles), to give it its full title. I know they're jocks but they're still good. Watch Channel 4 Saturdy at 10.00 for more of the great Justin. And no need for the potty mouth.
Posted by
Grim..., around 5th December 2005:
Thanks for that, JLCFC.
Oh, and by the way - that bit about "I'm Gonna Be" - we know.
Learn to fucking read.
Now fuck off.
I think this is the new "HE'S INNARCENT" thread.
Posted by
Brock, around 5th December 2005:
"Funny and eloquant"
*sigh*
i thought it was "he's inersant"?
heh, google on "HE'S INNARCENT" for a droll language correction by google
(
www.google.co.uk/search?hl=... )
Posted by
Sul_DUPE1, around 5th December 2005:
I'm looking for it but having no luck.
Where does it give the CORRECT song title Grim? Thats why I posted CORRECT title. You fucking asshole. Some people.......
Posted by
WarHead, around 5th December 2005:
Fnar, fnar.
Posted by
Grim..., around 5th December 2005:
Incidentally, the CORRECT title of the Proclaimers' 1988 number 11 smash is in fact "I'm Gonna Be", not "500 Miles". Just for info!
Idiot. Look 57 posts above your own.
With brackets (500 miles).Idiot.
I like the fact that "JLC'S FAN CLUB" is one person.
And that's probably his mum.
I bet despite a membership of one, JLC'S FAN CLUB still produces a newsletter each month.
Posted by
Brock, around 5th December 2005:
But despite the fact that they produce it themselves, I still reckon no fucker reads it.
They print it on nice soft paper.
"oh look. the face of JESUS has appeared on this page!
and a corn kernel"
Check out The Proclaimers greatest hits cd and you will find it has "500 miles" in brackets.JLCS FAN CLUB is a pseudonym Alfie. Whats your real name, Mystic Meg? You seem to be confident in your predictions, as of 38 minutes ago. Cock.
Posted by
Brock, around 6th December 2005:
Man, you are the most microscopically pointless fucking amoeba I have ever had the misfortune to happen across.
Feel free to die soon.
Go drive your combine harvester into a lake, you mindless fuck.
Brock, look in a mirror. Alfie, over you first you dopy pair of cunts.
Posted by
Grim..., around 6th December 2005:
Check out The Proclaimers greatest hits cd and you will find it has "500 miles" in brackets.
Words contained within parentheses on song titles are actually subtitles.
JLCS FAN CLUB is a pseudonym Alfie. Whats your real name, Mystic Meg?
Didn't you stop to think that it could be 'Alfie'? And Brock could be called 'Brock'? And I could be called 'Grim' with an ellipsis, obviously.
Fuck off.
You moronic, ill-informed, argumentative, crap-comedian loving piece of shit.
You're not worth a second of even Brock's time (and that's saying a lot) - piss off before facing the embarresment of being banned when America wakes up.
Posted by
Sul_DUPE1, around 6th December 2005:
"Brock, look in a mirror"
Fucking BUUUURRRRRNNN!!!
Posted by
Brock, around 6th December 2005:
Wow. I haven't heard such a well thought out and cutting insult since I last upset a 4 year old downs syndrome kid.
It doesn't even make any sense in context. If I was a microscopically pointless amoeba, what the fuck point would there be looking in a mirror? I'd be TOO FUCKING SMALL TO SEE!!!!!
Christ almighty, what a dumb arse.
Posted by
Brock, around 6th December 2005:
"Alfie, over you first you dopy pair of cunts."
You really struggle with repartee, don't you. You even (after re-reading it) appear to have called Alfie a "pair of cunts". Now I'm all for calling him a cunt, but I hardly think that he could be two, do you?
Caaaaaaaalll?
Ban this fuck-monkey, please? They aren't even good at insulting...
heh
JLCFC is rapidly redeeming himself. he's out-brocking brock and posting in traditional iamcal language and style.
no wonder the incumbents are outraged... heh
[pedant] umm, brock, you've misread his post -- it is actually correct if his post is replying to the pair of you, as it clearly is. [/pedant]
Posted by
Brock, around 6th December 2005:
[pedant battle]Only if you ignore the effects and influence of punctuation, convict boy. So my post stands.[/pedant]
nope. read it again. remember, "you" is both plural and singular.
Posted by
Brock, around 6th December 2005:
*sigh* Double nope with bells on. If there had been a full stop after "first" and "you" (but with a capital 'Y') then you would be correct. However, there isn't. Consequently it only relates to the sentence it is in - namely the one about Alfie.
I claim my 5 pounds, as you are wrong, Kangaroo-shit for brains. ;)
Posted by
Grim..., around 6th December 2005:
I would even suggest a new paragraph as well as a full stop.
Instead of focusing on JLCFC's dreadful use of language, can we instead concentrate on their terrible cuntishness?
Posted by
Brock, around 6th December 2005:
Hang on there, Tiger. I am bitchslapping the colonial one.
But yeah, we shouldn't lose focus, should we?
"PAIR" means the two of you, you PAIR of bellends.
Brock, was your mother a weightlifter? She must have been to raise a dumbell like you.
Posted by
Brock, around 6th December 2005:
I know what pair means, you fuck-knuckle. You still seem to be blissfully unaware of punctuation, though, despite my having spelt it out for you.
I shall ignore the reference to my mother. Not through any reason other than it makes no sense at all.
Tit.
Posted by
Grim..., around 6th December 2005:
Brock, was your mother a weightlifter?
JLCFC - was your mother also your aunt?
no but his grammar was
sorry, brock, your pedantry is blinding you to simple observation
Brock, get someone to explain it to you. Try your probation officer, you Sun reading tool.
Posted by
Grim..., around 6th December 2005:
Hmm...
Posted by
Brock, around 6th December 2005:
Sal: Dude. Seriously. It is possible to understand what he/it/slime was saying, but in the context that it was written, I am correct. The punctuation doesn't allow the "pair of cunts" bit to relate to the first sentence. You're wrong.
Posted by
Grim..., around 6th December 2005:
by that logic, no sentence can relate to any other.
also, note that the "dopy pair" bit did not relate specifically to the sentence directed specifically to your post, but rather to the context of the pair of you's posts. i'm not saying he couldn't have worded it better, mind.
You know when you have lost an argument when you have to turn pedant, eh Brock? Go and practice on the aforementioned four year down syndrome kid. Wanker.
Posted by
Sul_DUPE1, around 6th December 2005:
Sorry to but in, like, but what argument is actually going on here? Throwing abuse back and forth doesnt change the fact that JLC is devoid of talent.
hang on, that can't be right. brock's ALWAYS a pedant, so that would mean he would lose every argument
ah, no, wait, fair enough
Posted by
Brock, around 6th December 2005:
Or that JLCFC is a pointless smear of shit upon the toilet paper of life.
maybe JLCFC should change his nick to JLC's Fan Heater
Posted by
Grim..., around 6th December 2005:
Or 'Punchbag'.
Notice he couldn't find a flaw in anything I said =]
I thought you were the aforementioned downs syndrome four year old Grim, so I cut you some slack...
Posted by
jamal, around 6th December 2005:
Did I miss something. JLC? He is great, just face it. (and so are the proclaimers)
Right on Jamal. Rock and roll.
Posted by
jamal, around 6th December 2005:
Innit
Posted by
Sul_DUPE1, around 6th December 2005:
*thud*
Posted by
jamal, around 6th December 2005:
Thud? If that was at me then you should re-plan your wittisims, dumbass. If it wasn't, then nevermind! Chris Rea rules!
Posted by
Sul_DUPE1, around 6th December 2005:
"If that was at me then you should re-plan your wittisims, dumbass."
It wasn't so much a 'wittisim' as the sound of my head hitting the fucking desk over your complete lack of taste and inability to realise that you're wasting your time trying to convert a bunch of people who are quite obviously far superior intellectually and probably sexier too. But lets say I was trying to be a bit funny and was aiming my *thud* solely at you - why should I re-plan them?
Oh and putting the word "dumbass" next to a typo was brilliant. Well done.
Posted by
jamal, around 6th December 2005:
It was irony. And who are you to claim to be a superior intellect? You seem to be a moron who has the inability to comprehend JLC's spectacular comic style. And to be frank, the proclaimers aren't that great, but that song is. I'd imagine that you listen to the most recent of teen pop warblings, (deny it if you will) so your taste is pitiful at best. So cram it, and believe in the British way! Rule Brittania!
Rock on Jamal !!!!! Ne te confundant illigitimi. Latin for, "don't let the bastards get you down"
Posted by
jamal, around 6th December 2005:
I will try to remember this. Thank you
is illegitimi a bit like hippopotimi?
Posted by
Sul_DUPE1, around 6th December 2005:
Oh right. I apologise. You see, whereas my tongue-in-cheek humour, calling myself far superior and probably sexier, seems to be pretty apparent, your "irony" gets mixed up with your previous displays of what look like a lack of decent education.
Posted by
Sul_DUPE1, around 6th December 2005:
Oh and I "get" JLC. I also "get" racist jokes - this doesn't mean I like them or find them funny.
Don't bite Jamal. "Etiam masterbans, semper masterbans". (Once a wanker, always a wanker). Latin A-level. Hows that for education?
Posted by
Sul_DUPE1, around 6th December 2005:
I don't know - not very helpful outside naming things?
Posted by
jamal, around 6th December 2005:
Its not my fault I went to 'artcliffe. Besides, I got an AS lvel when i was still 15. But, i will admit it wasnt irony, I just cant spell 'wittism'.
Posted by
jamal, around 6th December 2005:
What was wrong there?
Posted by
Grim..., around 6th December 2005:
Or spell 'level'.
Neither is JLC very good at Latin. It's 'illegitimi', not 'illigitimi'.
And, strictly, 'Ne te confundant illegitimi' means 'never let the bastards confound you'.
It really isn't your day, is it?
Posted by
jamal, around 6th December 2005:
Well, fair enough. But most people don't type apostrophes in forums. I thought it was about 'artcliffe to be honest.
Posted by
jamal, around 6th December 2005:
And you edited it to add 'cun't'. And be honest... And I have FFS, So I miss letters or just add new oned=s. <<<Get it?
Posted by
Grim..., around 6th December 2005:
But most people don't type apostrophes in forums
Do they not?
I suppose that's based on years on research, right?
Well Cal (site owner) got 6 A-levels before his big boy hair came through.
And he's used all that educashun to build a shiney red BAN button.
Posted by
Grim..., around 6th December 2005:
And I have FFS, So I miss letters or just add new oned=s. <<<Get it?
Ha. Ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ha.
Posted by
jamal, around 6th December 2005:
Well, that's great for him. And no, that's not due to research, I just figured that people would have more to do in thier lives then insuring correct grammer in forums. And for any Americans out there, we (the creators of English) spell it 'COLOUR!' (not relavant I know!)
Posted by
jamal, around 6th December 2005:
By the by, FFS is just Fat Finger Syndrome.
Yeah, we are all English, dipshit.
"I just figured that people would have more to do in thier lives then insuring correct grammer in forums."
You're new here, aren't you? :)
Posted by
Grim..., around 6th December 2005:
If you want to be super-pedantic, apostrophes are for punctuation.
Make sure the to tell all those Yanks how to spell 'grammer' while you're at it.
Posted by
Sul_DUPE1, around 6th December 2005:
Correct grammar is becoming very rare, that's why I insure mine.
Posted by
Grim..., around 6th December 2005:
Side note:
I don't think Jamal should be banned.
After a bad start, he's become rather amusing and interesting.
JLCFC, however (who has gone home from school now, it seems) can fuck off.
Posted by
Grim..., around 6th December 2005:
Well Cal (site owner) got 6 A-levels before his big boy hair came through.
Before he was 23, you mean?
Posted by
jamal, around 6th December 2005:
I am kinda new, I just turn into the forum when i'm at work (not working obviously). But I didn't know we were ALL English! I thought it was another American dominated site. Oh well, live and let live (you know you did, you know you did, you know you did!) Viva la grammar! (thats french for... Well, something)
i insure mines. next time my mine burns to the ground, i can build me a new one.
Posted by
jamal, around 6th December 2005:
I have a new slogan;
'Save bamboo-kill a panda'
Posted by
Brock, around 6th December 2005:
There are some foreigners here, though. But predominantly English.
Posted by
jamal, around 6th December 2005:
Good
Posted by
Grim..., around 6th December 2005:
Originally posted by Brock
There are some foreigners here, though. But predominantly English.
Just testing a new Firefox plugin...
Posted by
Grim..., around 6th December 2005:
Yay =]
They let you stay up late in Broadmoor don't they Grim? Ride it you plum.
Posted by
Brock, around 6th December 2005:
What plug in, Grim?
Posted by
Grim..., around 6th December 2005:
It's a script I wrote in
Greasemonkey, that adds a quote button to each post.
It doesn't work very well =]
We could just badger Cal for a quote button, but he doesn't like them.
Posted by
Sul_DUPE1, around 6th December 2005:
I don't like them because they are very poorly used by the majority of people.
Posted by
Grim..., around 6th December 2005:
I agree.
But this site
does have a quoting facility, it's just difficult to use =/
Posted by
WarHead, around 6th December 2005:
Hello everyone, have I missed much?
Posted by
WarHead, around 6th December 2005:
Oh feck, I knew I was meant to have another go about JLC and now I remember why.
Channel 4 - 10 December 2005 - 22:00 Bring Back...
The Christmas Number One
Hosted by Justin Lee Collins, Channel 4's 'Bring Back' series re-unites former chart toppers who have had a Christmas hit to create a super group in an attempt to grab the top spot this Christmas.
From the trailer I saw it looks very much like the 'Bring Back ...Just Say No' fiasco.
Shoot me now.
Posted by
Grim..., around 7th December 2005:
Just shoot yourself - saves travel expenses.
Posted by
WarHead, around 7th December 2005:
You heartless swine. Economical, but heartless.
Posted by
jamal, around 7th December 2005:
Actaully the Grange Hill thing was funny. It wouldn't usually be, but JLC had that way didnt he! And FAQ U was a brilliant show!
Posted by
jamal, around 7th December 2005:
But SCD (I can't even be bothered to type the whole thing) was carp. Complete and utter carp.
Posted by
pepernut, around 7th December 2005:
Anyone who finishes a post with "Chris Rea rules!" needs some kind of pin-on medal or rosette.
Posted by
Brock, around 7th December 2005:
Through their heart.
carp are killing aussie cod
FACT
Posted by
jamal, around 8th December 2005:
I apologise, I have 'driving home for christmas' on a continuous loop in my head!
This thread will never die.
long live the thread! and all who sail in her!
hear hear and three cheers!
Posted by
jamal, around 8th December 2005:
The thread of ever-lasting youth shall stand ever-more!
Posted by
Brock, around 8th December 2005:
ever!
Posted by
jamal, around 8th December 2005:
I am slightly determined now to be the last user to leave a message here. So, currently, I am winning!
Posted by
Brock, around 8th December 2005:
I think not.
Posted by
jamal, around 8th December 2005:
Damn you and your incessant typing!
Posted by
Sul_DUPE1, around 8th December 2005:
Let the dog have its bone, brockles.
edit: oh deary me
Posted by
Brock, around 8th December 2005:
Why? Why shouldn't I win?
Posted by
Grim..., around 8th December 2005:
I'll enter this competition too.
There.
Posted by
Brock, around 8th December 2005:
That's cheating, surely.
Posted by
Grim..., around 8th December 2005:
Nah.
Posted by
Brock, around 8th December 2005:
I'm not convinced.
Posted by
jamal, around 8th December 2005:
Damn you all! I MUST win! So, as I enter this thread from work AND home, you cannot win! hahahaha!
Posted by
Grim..., around 8th December 2005:
That's right - no-one else can post from work and home.
However, I refuse to believe you work for a living.
Posted by
Brock, around 8th December 2005:
If anything encourages Cal to write a post locking bit, I suggest that this thread may be do it...
:)
Posted by
Grim..., around 8th December 2005:
I concur.
Posted by
cal_DUPE1, around 8th December 2005:
i win
