iamcal.com Since May 2000

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• Hello!

There's a website for really badly modified cars, and I took a photo of a Ford Ka that looked more like a spaceship yesterday, but I can't find the site now.

Any ideas?

found it: www.Barryboys.co.uk

oh brill

where is the Ka thread?

An admin has got to give me permission to post, so I haven't made it yet.

Here is the picture:

hhahaha

Could someone who likes cars (perhaps you Grim...) explain to me why people buy pretty bad cars and then spend loads doing them up with spoilers and lowering the suspension and all that stuff? I mean why not get a decent car to work with? Or if they can only afford a Nova, Corsa or Ka, why the hell would they mod it. It invariably looks shiiiite.

Ah, the magic question.
Why spend £10,000 making your Ford Ka look like a spaceship instead of buying a nice (for instance) second hand Supra?

There are no excuses, but the following could be reasons:

1) Most of the little Barry's can't get insured on powerful cars
2) Magazines like (t)Revs tell them that Corsa's are great
3) People are stupid

I've driven a Ford Ka, it was a 1.3i and although it was slow as shit, you could sling it around corners and it was quite good fun. The silly little rude boys should spend their money on engines, not fake roof scoops.

I've also driven a Corsa 'sport'. It was a lump of shit.

This car looks fucking sweet...



...and is for sale for less than nine grand.

And so is this 400bhp Skyline...

Both of these cars cost the same amount - which would you buy?

Bad Boy Corsa 2.0i


Mitsubishi FTO 2.5i Turbo

We are looking for your NOMINATIONS for our new segment.. NANCY BOY CAR OF THE UNIVERSE.. & NANCY BOY CAR TOP 10 Sponsored by Wang Car Accessories.. on 97.1FM MELBOURNE AUSTRALIA.. please email photos of the most Nancy looking cars you have seen (Note: Nancy a.k.a. Tosser, Wanker, Loser etc..) to Big Merv.. just click on this.. www.sHaMoZzLe.com ..and you won't miss Big Merv!

Thanks for the answer :)

do an image search for ricer, you'll get some great pics!

Er, a ricer is apparently a kitchen utensil in which soft foods are pressed through a perforated container to produce strings.



... unless you're an Ozzie, I suppose.

heheheheheh 'wang'

Wang Car

only usage re "ricer" i ever came across in oz was the japanese 4 stroke sportsbikes : "rice burners"

Unusually enough, I heard an old man in the pub use the word "saltation" in conversation the other day. Either that or Sal was down in Brighton and talking to an old man.

or sal was that old man in the pub

or sal was that pub

hehehehehehe 'wang'

you are surpassing even yourself, vic

but would he recognise himself, if he surpassed himself in the street?

Of course. He'd be the fat bastard with the cunty beard.

Obviously.

hehehehehehehe 'cunty'

Have you shaved that fucking thing off yet, Menendez?

And are you glad you aren't working in tube stations around this current time? (Or are you still?)

Pfft Brock, you're just jealous because Vic has hair on his face and his head.

i have a crap MG for sale ..... well when i say for sale i mean its been on sale for 2 years - apparently no bugger wants a 25 year old black MG BGT anymore - so i drive it to work -0 then get the piss taken out of me ....

any help / support on what i should do ?

Strip it and sell the parts?

How big are the turbochargers?

huhuhuhuh "parts"

Has it got a Salisbury axle? Did you get rid of the Rostyles and put wires on it? And what about Lockheed discs? Or twin SUs?

Classic car, the B.

the only time i've ever seen the word 'ricer' used in reference to cars is on the net. but, none the less, if you look, google shows that it seems to be relatively common.

i was about to say something mildly ironic re:- with google googling eleventy squillion pages that almost anything becomes "relatively" common.

then i made the mistake of checking reality before commenting, via your handy dandy individually wrapped linkette there.

oh.
dear.
lord.



AAARRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ah, ha, ha, ha, haaaaaa - it looks like a Dinky toy.

That is, despite all the odds, the SHITTEST car I have ever seen in my life...

coming from you, brock, that's damn near frightening

I disagree - at least it shows some originality.

(It's still shit, but).

Fuck off, Grim. If I smeared Donkey shit over the screen and then spunked on it, it would be original. No-one would call it attractive, though.

That last vehicle is incredible. Seriously. I would totally drive one.

Q.E.D.

Why not spend the money on the engine?

Hello, by the way...

maybe they did already

oh, and hello

270bhp + 200bhp + front-wheel-drive = waste of time

Correctamundo.

I don't care that FWD is cheaper and easier to produce, it's just shit.

Next, please.

(oh, and 270bhp + 200bhp = 470bhp, Salti... I assume you mean Nm or lbft in there somewhere)

nah, the 200bhp one is a dinky little electric motor that boosts the rear wheels. to no useful effect, judging by the review (clickthru the pic)-- just a salesfloor/journo-review wank gimmick

i thought FWD was actually more expensive to produce? more complex tooling and resulting bits.
but it DOES mean you can yoojly increase your straightline power figures 'cos you lose the carlength drivetrain. instant sales cream

straightline power figures 'cos you lose the carlength drivetrain

Not sure what you mean with that.

FWD: No propshaft, no separate Diff, more compact gearbox, less length of car for decent sized engine/less interior intrusion.

Also, you can build the entire engine and front suspension assy on the subframe out of the car, and the rear corners all at once too (usually) There is hardly any work involved (in production line terms) in just raising a great lump and bolting the subframe, struts and an engine mount or two into the car. Then just clip the wires on and it's a goer. Even the rad pack and the like can be fitted like that, the rim gets fitted later.

...... I'm under.

don't encourage him brock, it's all incredibly dull.
my pretty blue car has been fixed, no more little dent and mangled hubcap thingy

Four-wheel drive is best (:

3,2,1, .... I'm back in the room. Dents and mangled hubcaps don't take much explaining and therefore don't send me into a trance.

>straightline power figures 'cos you lose the carlength drivetrain
Not sure what you mean with that.

the drivetrain is the sum of all the mechanical linkages between engine and wheels. in RWD, you have an extra 6feet or so of propshaft which on average cars typically wastes a quarter or more of the engine's power.

Er. Bollocks. The propshaft loses you practically nothing on it's own. The losses are in the amount and direction that you transfer the direction of drive through, and the numbers of gear meshings and their type.

Power at the wheels = 75% power at the flywheel (RWD)
Power at the wheels = 66% power at the flywheel (FWD)

This used to be a good rule of thumb, but the advances in transmissions and driveline technology has meant that both drive type losses are reduced, and the gap between them has decreased (although I don't have the new approximates to hand). FWD has always been more 'lossy' than RWD. It's advantages are purely in cost of manufacture and packaging.

Oh, and "Straightline power figures" is a nonsensical statement. Power is the rate at which a machine can produce torque. Torque is the turning force produced by the same machine.

Are you saying that the power at the wheels is 0.75% of the power at the flywheel?

So if you have a 1,000bhp car only 7.5bhp actually gets to the road?

What?

*(&*(&*(%*%%*&*%*

I think the percentages are well up in the 80's now, and the new Discovery is pushing 75% - awesome piece of engineering.

Wow, Brock totally changed time.

sfg: how did you go from 75% to 0.75%?

brock: well you're the expert re the car technicals so i'll bow to your figures. but i have repeatedly seen magazine articles from sane tech.gods (eg performance bike's john robinson (rip) ) which assert FWD gets more power to the wheels than RWD and for the reasons i quoted.

>Oh, and "Straightline power figures" is a nonsensical statement.
now you're being silly, if you're talking about cars, or oddly misreading me. power in a straight line: simple(istic) acceleration figures. 0-60 in 4.5wanks. means nothing about the actual useful speed of hte car if you add in odd things like corners.

but idiot drivers like to be able to compete with each other at their own skill level. so they just jack engines in and compare power. yawn.


>Power is the rate at which a machine can produce torque. Torque is the turning force produced by the same machine.
admirably concise definition.
the only other similarly concise explanation i've come across was john robinson's:
imagine you've got a tractor with a rope running off the back of it and over a cliff to a weight on the ground. torque is how big a weight the tractor can lift up the cliff, and power is how fast it can lift it.

By the wonder of Brock's edit button (:

Hmm - so, if you use a gearbox, torque and power are essentially the same thing?

good way of thinking of it. a gearbox lets you modify torque at the wheels, yes. so not quite the same thing as equating powerandtorque, but yes, a gearbox lets you choose how to apply the engine's power to the wheels.

we used to call first gear on dad's then my old morris oxford "tree climbing gear", as it topped out around 5mph in a straight line but could crawl up walls, 2 tons and 1600cc notwithstanding.

I'm still having trouble getting my head around why they are different when you have a gearbox.

Or why I care (;

All I need to know:
Big hill up = Low second
Big hill down = Low first
Motorway = High fifth

" Hmm - so, if you use a gearbox, torque and power are essentially the same thing?"

Not really. Think of it as changing the mechanical advantage of the application.

Analogy:
You can produce one "Ugly bloke" of torque. You can just crowbar a car door open by breaking into a slight sweat. If you use a crowbar of twice the length (ie 'changing gear' on your arm) you can open the door nearly twice as easily, or with just over half an "Ugly bloke" of torque. Unfortunately, picking the heavier crowbar up takes you effort, so you don't quite get twice the force, but that loss is indicative of the power losses that you get in a gearbox.

Power and torque can never be the same thing (effectively or otherwise) as they are directly proportional to the rate of rotation (engine speed). They may have the same number, but they are different units.

Oh, and the whole "power in a straight line" thing is pretty much moot as FWD is physically incapable of transmitting the same power to the road as efficiently as a RWD, due to the inherent problems of trying to put it through the front wheels. As the car tries to accelerate, the front will lift, and it will (without fancy traction control that cuts power to maintain traction anyway) reduce the weight on the front wheels abd make them spin. A rear wheel drive gets weight ON it as it accelerates. It gets even worse in a corner, as the steering and accel/decell forces all go through one set of wheels.

Therefore all FWD cars are shit and should be burnt. And crushed.

"Big hill down = Low first"

Poof. Flat in fifth,

Don't forget that the heavier crowbar will open the door more slowly (:

Flat out in fifth? Ha - I'll show you some hills that would make you cry if you tried to take them in anything but low first (:

Therefore all FWD cars are shit and should be burnt. And crushed.

Not everyone gets given a BMW by their daddy, Brockles my love...

My car is irrelevant. FWD cars are shit and always have been.

down hills in first? sfg: are you a truck driver?

me, i like Angel Gear for fuel economy purposes :)

brock: i hear what you're saying but the gearbox changes the torque at the WHEELS. yes, it does not affect the engine's torque. but it changes the vehicle's applyable torque. (applicable? applyable? actual? effective?)

and fwd is just a great big steaming pile of poo. it's hilarious how much faster you can punt incredibly uncompetitive vehicles that are rwd vs new fwd.

> BMW

i can heartily recommend learning to drive in shit old cars that are RWD, then fixing the suspension after a while.

in my old toyota corolla station wagon, i used to wind the window down if i had passengers, so that they'd be less stressed, as the sound of the tyres was so much louder i'd automatically back off from normal cornering angles. the car twisted so much the rear hatch would pop up left or right, sometimes to the point of not being openable, depending on whether i'd been cornering more left or right most recently

fun car

Not a truck driver, an off-road driver.

I like to ruin the countryside, and to hell with what Mr Blair says.

The Land Rover Freelander is 'almost' front-wheel drive, because apparently that gives more control, or something.

Let me try and find the reason they give...

Docr darren: I want to lodge a complaint about being bored to death on my birthday

Can't find the reason they give now ):

I'm sure it was handling or ride comfort or something like that...

Miki: Read another thread. :p

It's not like the title means that the content comes as a shock, is it? And you're not exactly running away with teh banter on another thread, are you?

Hmmmmmmmmm?

tis true, but the Grimm cars in the beginning were funny

happy birthday miki!

thanks :D

Happy Birthday!

Did you get any good presents?

boring but good: electric toothbrush
good: 2 Calvin and Hobbes books
a 256Mb memory stick
a chunk of amethyst
a notebook from kukuxumusu
a guestbook for the upcoming wedding
money
still to receive: gift from steve which is on the table in front of me wrapped and I haven't opened it cos Im waiting till he gets home

yay me!

oooh and steves parent brought over cheddar for him and Irn-bru (?) for me

yay!

calvin and hobbes rock(s?)

how to drive

Grim!!!!! The answer to our prayers!!!!

Awesome =]

Hahah - that cow question really was excellent

Although you'd expect a Power Resistor to Resist Power wouldnt you. Misleading name.

It resists power being wasted. It depends where you put it in the system, surely.

Scaramouch o wise one

CLASS!

I understand that it resists power being wasted but that doesn't make the name any less misleading. It should be a "Waste-Power Resitor of Justice" or "Power-Waste Resistor of Justice", both are good.

don't forget the "OF JUSTICE!" bit, that's very important

%$£^%$&%^*&%$*$

;)

ten crap cars final
1)citroen saxo
2)any vauxhall
3)any rover
4)any ford
5)most american cars as the dont know how to go around a corner
6)peugeots

I wasn't aware that any cars knew how to go around corners, although with all this new technology that's being becoming standard, I could be wrong.

'Darren' so obviously doesn't know what he's talking about it's painful.
And he can't count to ten.

I like my brothers car. He's modded it but very nicely... (I'm not into modding in any way and I know it's a shit car but it looks nice and it runs well)

Front
Back
Side

New bumpers, new wheels, door handles removed, new exhaust and a respray...

i like way the door-handles make it completely owner-proof

hell yeah! A car is for show - who the hell can afford to drive them these days?!?

Anyway, he likes his cars. He has another VW he's been trying to 'restore' and I quite like that too. I'm trying to find pics now just cause it's cool...

edit

front
back
side

$250,000 Porsche 911 Upgrade! I wonder if they take credit cards? Not mine, obviously, but this one looks quite good, I wonder if they'll take that?

Note it also increases your practical passenger capability by 50%

f00king hell...

it's like a spastic transformer (excuse the term) with 50% more seating space...

"replaced the body with a Kevlar, carbon fiber, and aluminum skin similar to what's on Formula One cars."

Er, no. No aluminium skins on F1 cars unless you count the honeycomb in the composite. Certainly no skins, although by coincidence there were at the time a team were sponsored by Rizla...

I still think it looks like a Porsche anyway. Still got that jelly mould looking shape.