Discussion » When's your birthday?

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Posted by syl_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
2 July 1969
Posted by Brock, around 13th October 2005:
 
When was your birthday, surely? Although it still isn't right. Your earliest birthday was 2/7/1970, i.e. your FIRST birthday. You meant "When were you born?"

The correct answer to the question you posed would be 2nd of July 2006 - "When is your birthday".

/pedant mode off

;)
Posted by syl_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
Oh alriiiiiiiiiiiight. :) What date were you born? (I thought some people might be embarrassed about putting the year, so they could just go 2 July) Brockles, when's ye birthday?
Posted by Brock, around 13th October 2005:
 
10th June, innit. 1972.
Posted by Saltation_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
maybe syl's japanese. traditional japanese first birthday occurs as you pop out.

in any case, "when's" can serve as abbreviation for either of "when is" and "when was". lose 10 pedant points.
Posted by syl_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
I knew you must be a Gemini Brockles...
....Thanks, Salty! How about you? Birthday?
Posted by Alfie_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
Your birthday. Birth Day. The day of your birth.

Her earliest birthday was 2 July 1969 because it was the day of her birth. Not rocket science really.
Posted by Alfie_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
Subsequent "Birthdays" are celebrations of her actual Birth Day.
Posted by Brock, around 13th October 2005:
 
Definition
birthday Show phonetics
noun [C]
the day that is exactly a year or number of years after a person was born:
Happy birthday!
Are you going to Ellen's birthday party next week?
It's her 21st birthday.

(from Cambridge Advanced Learner's Dictionary)
Posted by Brock, around 13th October 2005:
 
birth‧day S2 W3 [See pronunciation table in "How to use dictionary" pages] [countable]
1TMC your birthday is a day that is an exact number of years after the day you were born:
[Look up a word starting with D or S for samples of headword or sentence pronunciations on the LDOCE CD-ROM] He was in Kansas to celebrate his 74th birthday.
happy birthday! (=what you say on someone's birthday)
birthday card/gift/party etc
[Look up a word starting with D or S for samples of headword or sentence pronunciations on the LDOCE CD-ROM] Anne's birthday party
the birthday girl/boy informal (=the person whose birthday it is)
2 a day that is an exact number of years since an organization was established or an event first happened [↪ anniversary]:
[Look up a word starting with D or S for samples of headword or sentence pronunciations on the LDOCE CD-ROM] The City of Cleveland Orchestra is celebrating its 200th birthday.
3 in your birthday suit informal not wearing any clothes - used humorously
Posted by Brock, around 13th October 2005:
 

Jacket image of the Compact Oxford English Dictionary


birthday

• noun the annual anniversary of the day on which a person was born.
Posted by Brock, around 13th October 2005:
 
Wrongola, Alfie. "Birthday" is not the same as "Birth day". Same as "you'rewrong" doesn't mean the same thing as "you're wrong".

:)

" Subsequent "Birthdays" are celebrations of her actual Birth Day."

Although you got THAT bit right.
Posted by Sul_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
That, dear readers, is a four post display of pure manliness.
Posted by ellipse, around 13th October 2005:
 
mine is 20 days away
Posted by Alfie_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
Your first post in this thread made me think you were a total dickhead, attempting to compensate, in some strange way, for some of your severe inadequacies.

But those last four proved it.
Posted by Alfie_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
Oh and I like the way you chose dictionary entries that support your case, ignoring ones that don't. There's a job waiting for you in a government office somewhere. Hurry along.

(and two can play at the dickhead-trying-to-make-up-for-some-severe-inadequacies game)

*cough*

birth·day Audio pronunciation of "birthday" ( P ) Pronunciation Key (bûrthd)
n.

1. The day of one's birth.
2. The anniversary of one's birth.

Source: The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition
Copyright © 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company.
Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

*******************************

birthday

n 1: an anniversary of the day on which a person was born (or the celebration of it) 2: the date on which a person was born [syn: natal day]

Source: WordNet ® 2.0, © 2003 Princeton University

*************************************

birthday

A birthday is the date on which a person was born. It is customary in many cultures to celebrate the anniversary of one's birthday in some way.

(Wikipedia)

************************************

The noun birthday has 2 meanings:

Meaning #1: an anniversary of the day on which a person was born

Meaning #2: the date on which a person was born

(Wordnet)

************************************
Posted by Brock, around 13th October 2005:
 
All of which are american publications, Alfie (and two of them are the same Princeton source). I used English ones, because they are correct rather than completely fucking made up.

What exactly is your point? I speak English, as indeed do (should?) you.

Your serve, fuckball.
Posted by Alfie_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
My case still stands.

You abused someone for using "when's" to mean "when was". They were quite correct in doing so (according to Salty at least, I haven't really thought that one through).

You abused the same person for incorrectly using the word "birthday", they didn't. You were just unaware of the broader definition of the word.

Next you will be telling me that you deliberately typed "American" with a lowercase "a" because they don't deserve an uppercase one.

Whatever you need to justify your crusade to yourself.

I'm all for pedantry, but at least try to be correct when correcting others. Or if it's a grey (gray?!) area, then perhaps leave it alone?
Posted by Alfie_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
And how exactly are the American sources any more "fucking made up" than the English ones?
Posted by Alfie_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
Are you suggesting that people not be allowed to use anything other that the Queen's English on a website hosted in North America by a man living in North America?

Plus, I thought you would show more gratitude to the country that invented the Turtle Wax that has usurped the Brylcreem's treasured position in your bathroom cabinet.
Posted by Alfie_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
Goodness, I could have done with a comma, or two, in that last sentence.
Posted by Brock, around 13th October 2005:
 
"Next you will be telling me that you deliberately typed "American" with a lowercase "a" because they don't deserve an uppercase one."

Check every single time I have typed 'america' or 'france' on here or Flickr for the last year or more. Then eat your words. This is exactly the reason that it was started, along with that charming mad Mr Menendez, and spawned such as the phrase fucking french whenever france was mentioned.

"You were just unaware of the broader definition of the word."

Er. No. The definitions I quoted are giving correct English. I am, as you are surely aware, strongly opposed to americanisms. This is one of them. I don't consider american publications to over-ride the Oxford, Longman and Cambridge presses without serious justification. There is none, in this instance, that I have found so far.

I am not saying that people are not allowed to use any other 'form' or bastardisation of English, I am just saying that I am of the opinion that it is wrong, and definitely not correct English. america is almost entirely responsible for the dramatic reduction in people's ability to speak English properly through bad education, media flooding and laziness. They make up many of their own rules, and then teach them as correct. It irritates the shit out of me, frankly.

I still have to find a decent reference for Salti's point, but it is not a usage that I have used or am aware of; I am checking it out to satisfy myself either way. I'm prepared to be corrected, obviously, IF he is right.

Regardless, when I posted after Syl's comment, I was (clearly enough to her) playing. She took it in the vein that it was intended. You, on the other hand, appear to be having a hormonal attack about it. Who are you defending? Her? Hardly necessary, as Syl wasn't bothered by it.
Posted by Alfie_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
Why would you use a lowercase for "america" and "france", when such a dedicated follower of English must know that the use of a capital letter at the beginning of a proper noun is not optional? By doing so, you aren't "cussing" those countries, merely weakening your argument for correct English usage.

"They make up many of their own rules"

Yes, because, of course, British English is known far and wide for its logical and tidy approach to language. Wouldn't catch us making up a load of unfeasible rules that are broken left, right and centre.

I'm not defending Syl. I was defending the spirit of pedantry that says you should at least try and be correct before correcting others.

And if that's your idea of "playing" then I pity the women you've (allegedly) known.
Posted by Alfie_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
I'm all ranted out now.
Phew!
I needed that.
Cheers Brock :) Same time next week?
Posted by reitsma, around 13th October 2005:
 
*thud*
Posted by Brock, around 13th October 2005:
 
Re: Upper case being optional - If it was optional, my refusal to acknowledge that either country deserves one wouldn't have any impact, would it? The fact that someone as determined to get things right as myself deliberately flouts the laws that I respect so much to make a point, is where the importance of that point is. If it was optional, it would just look like I couldn't be arsed to use the shift key. Rather like a person claiming to be a vegetarian on moral grounds, but then eating KFC and McDonalds because they couldn't be arsed to walk a bit further for a salad.

Innit.

And as for 'playing', some women like it rough. Perhaps I am just a better judge of that than you...?
Posted by syl_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
Hey chaps...chaps! That stuff is very interesting, but I just wanted to know when your birthday is/was whatever...Ya know? Please?
Posted by syl_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
So, ellipse, yours is on the 1st November? (Scorpio?) By the way, your cricket chaps are here and Shane Bond is Yummy! ;)
Posted by cal_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
17th january 1981

(i also had to look up january in the dictionary. fuck)
Posted by Brock, around 13th October 2005:
 
To work out which month was before February?
Posted by Brock, around 13th October 2005:
 
1981. Fuck. I remember that.
Posted by Sul_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
Hang on - *thinks*. Someone in Africa wants personal details from me. Hmmm. Yeah, I've been burned like this before.
Posted by WarHead, around 13th October 2005:
 
18 Feb 1954...... 1981/1972/1969 ... I remember those ... I, er, think. In fact I started work in October 1972. And I can spell Feberiwebbery without a dickshunry.
Posted by ellipse, around 13th October 2005:
 
oo actually it's 27 days away, i think
I seem to be forgetting things muddled today.

in 1981 i went on my first ever protest march, against the Springbok Rugby Tour of NZ
Posted by syl_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
Yeah, those were the bad old days (pre 1994, when the ANC took over) I went to quite a few marches meself. Now we just moan about Robert Mugabe or Jacob Zuma.

Sul, for heavens sake, what can I do with your birthday except wish you Happy Birthday when it comes? May I call upon a personal reference from warhead, and maybe even Brock, to say that I am trustworthy? C'mon, Sul, don't be such an old lemon. :D
Posted by SuperFunGordon_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
Um... Why is France spelt with a lower case 'f'?
Posted by Saltation_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
is 'f' spelled 'f' or 'F'?
Posted by Saltation_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
or 'ƒ'?
Posted by SuperFunGordon_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
You say "tomato", I say "Fuck off you pedantic cunt, you know exactly what I meant".


Great song, that.
Posted by Brock, around 13th October 2005:
 
Cos the french are all cunts.

Clearly.
Posted by Brock, around 13th October 2005:
 
Fucking french
Posted by SuperFunGordon_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
I guess that kind of answers my question.

What's wrong with the French?
Posted by Sul_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
Is that contraction "what is" or "what was"?
Posted by Brock, around 13th October 2005:
 
Are these contractions getting closer together?
Posted by SuperFunGordon_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
Both.

Be aware that English is my second language.
Posted by Sul_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
12th of April 1982

And it's a vital part of my banking security. I've posted the rest of the parts on various message boards around the net. There's £12.34 left in the account. Your treasure hunt starts here.
Posted by Brock, around 13th October 2005:
 
Sul's clarification is important. It's all about whether what is wrong with the french was a problem, or remains an issue really. Sadly, it's 'b'.

They smell.
They're arrogant.
They burn our sheep when they get an arse on.
They strike over the slightest thing and clog up our main way into Europe just to piss us off.
They have no backbone and still hate us despite the fact that we kicked the feckin' Germans out of their country for them when they meekly rolled over and let them in.
They think that bombing a respectable internationally renowned peace promoting organisation will make the fact that they are blowing up nuclear bombs 'alright' and that people will forget about it.
They smell.

Bored now, there is more, but I can't be arsed.
Posted by SuperFunGordon_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
I'm French.
Posted by ellipse, around 13th October 2005:
 
you forgot eurodisney
Posted by syl_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
"There's £12.34 left in the account. Your treasure hunt starts here".

I shall mobilise my African Crime Machine immediately for that, yeah! And I did click on that here, you arse! (said with a :) So, Sul is Aries, no wonder he's so feisty and paranoid to boot! Thanks.

They smell.
They smell.

I laughed my head off at that. Hey man, this is supposed to be the birthday thread that I can call up to wish people happy birthday, but it's turning into a french thread. I really like to match what I know about people's personalities to their star sign even though I know it's bollocks. I'm just a bit bored, you see. But I really like that They Smell They Smell They Smell! That's a bit racist, though don't you think, I mean everybody climbs on me for being South African as though being South African is synonymous with being a racist, but you guys can say whatever you like about the french. I mean French. ?
Posted by Saltation_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
everybody climbs on me for being South African

syl: exhausted but happy
Posted by Sul_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
Me, paranoid? Who told you that? What do you know?

I'd hardly say I'm feisty though. And I get on with other Aries (not sure on the plural of that, dont care that much to look it up, do care enough to justify why it might be wrong) so either that whole astrology thing is crap or I'm adopted.
Posted by Saltation_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
aries is like sheep
Posted by syl_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
Well, it doesn't make sense to me that a particular thing is happening to one twelfth of the population at one time. Or that a particular personality trait is common to that same group; I mean 580 million people all having the same bad week/temper. Then again, it might be true :(

Salty!/smacks him
Posted by syl_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
damn computer
Posted by syl_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
SuperFunGordon sorry for Brock's comments (if you are really French) and the smelly thing, don't take any notice, he gives everyone a hard time (that's not English) :)
Posted by SuperFunGordon_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
It's alright - I fucking hate gay people, so prejudice is all good in my opinion.

Apparently, my written and spoken English is good, but I sometimes get curse words in the wrong order.

Strange, huh?
Posted by SuperFunGordon_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
you forgot eurodisney


That was the Americans, not the French.
Posted by syl_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
Like You Fuck! instead of Fuck You!?
Posted by Saltation_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
I fucking hate gay people, so prejudice is all good in my opinion.
Apparently, my written and spoken English is good, but I sometimes get curse words in the wrong order.

Like You Fuck instead of Fuck You?

no, like he meant to say:
"I hate fucking gay people"

which is why he's so riled by his, errrr, interactions with brock
Posted by SuperFunGordon_DUPE1, around 13th October 2005:
 
Fuck is a hard word.

The phrase
"I hate fucking gay people"
could mean (I think), that I hate having sex with gay people, or I hate gay people lots, or both ):
Posted by WarHead, around 13th October 2005:
 
Talking of smelly things, Belgium does have really smelly drains.
Posted by Brock, around 14th October 2005:
 
" I'm French."

Er. So?

;)
Posted by syl_DUPE1, around 14th October 2005:
 
Ooer. A french thread and now a gay thread. What tells me you guys don't want to tell me your birthday? SuperFunGordon, when is your birthday? By the way, how long have you been a member of imacal?
Posted by Sul_DUPE1, around 14th October 2005:
 
Brock: I'd imagine SFG is informing you of his frenchness simply so you can change the "They"s to "You"s as he can now answer for his whole nation.

Bravo that man.
Posted by SuperFunGordon_DUPE1, around 14th October 2005:
 
No problem - assuming that you won't mind if I think you are all

a) of below-average intelligence
b) football hooligans
c) drunks
d) racist
e) all of the above

that will be fine.

Syl, I've been a member of IAmCal since before the site revamp (although imacal sounds much more exciting).

My birthday isn't until next year.
Posted by Sul_DUPE1, around 14th October 2005:
 
I think that sums most of us up, yep.
Posted by syl_DUPE1, around 14th October 2005:
 
Are you an old member with a new name? (gee thanks for the compliments by the way)
Posted by Saltation_DUPE1, around 14th October 2005:
 
i'll take 3 (c)s, thanks. and a packet of nuts.
Posted by SuperFunGordon_DUPE1, around 14th October 2005:
 
Some c)'s for me, while you're at the bar.

Syl: Haven't we had that conversation? (that's alright - that's the general list of what the French (in fact, the Europeans - you know us, we learn more than one language) think of the English. That, and the fact that you can't stop eating Roast Beef (;
You know the jokes you all tell about the Irish? They're English jokes in the rest of Europe)
Posted by syl_DUPE1, around 14th October 2005:
 
Well, I'm half Italian and the other half is about 9 tenths Dutch, with one tenth being Irish, so I am loathe to imagine the awful things Brock must say about me. :) We may have had that conversation; I was born in 1969, the memory is getting a leeetle rusty. Ne ce pas?
Posted by Sul_DUPE1, around 14th October 2005:
 
I'll have you know, SFG, that I'm learning Spanish. I accidently installed a Spanish print driver and can't be arsed to change it.
Posted by Sul_DUPE1, around 14th October 2005:
 
And let's be honest, that whole male-female assign to objects is a little bit of a bastard for someone who doesn't do that normally.
Posted by Sul_DUPE1, around 14th October 2005:
 
yes, I'm annoyed at my own inability to learn other languages
Posted by Saltation_DUPE1, around 14th October 2005:
 
you don't do that male-female assign thing normally?

...

you big gayer
Posted by syl_DUPE1, around 14th October 2005:
 
Yeah, the gender thing is the hardest part of learning French/Italian, because all the verbs etc change as well. It's a bugger.
Posted by syl_DUPE1, around 14th October 2005:
 
Ciao, Giacomo! Sei gia di ritorno?
Posted by SuperFunGordon_DUPE1, around 14th October 2005:
 
I can see how masculine and femenine versions of words is annoying, but I think the English plurals are harder to grasp.

Ox / Oxen / Die / Dice / Mouse / Mice etc etc.

Just stick and 's' on the end, ffs (:
Posted by SuperFunGordon_DUPE1, around 14th October 2005:
 
You want something really complicated, try learning Russian.

Sul - are you really learning Spanish because of a printer driver?
Posted by Doctor Lucid_DUPE1, around 14th October 2005:
 
9th July 1981.

KFC has three capital letters. Does that mean it gets triple the respect?
Posted by Doctor Lucid_DUPE1, around 14th October 2005:
 
SFG. What a silly question.
Posted by SuperFunGordon_DUPE1, around 14th October 2005:
 
Well, you never know.
Posted by Saltation_DUPE1, around 14th October 2005:
 
>Russian
nah, Estonian. or Finnish. both completely different language group from any of the HindoEuropean languages (eg english, italian, russian...). e.g. estonian only has "it" for first person pronoun, no "he" or "she"

it's easier to remember english grammar oddities if you remember it's about 3 languages overlaid: primarily norwegian and lowland germanic, with a late sprinkling of french due to the invasion of vikings who'd learnt french then got bored and headed off again. plus some of its grammar just faded away, eg it's actually more correct originally to say "have gotten", but in the period between the settlers hooting off to america and now, it's faded to "have got" in the motherland.

and all that through/though/bough etc spelling stuff was the way the words were actually pronounced way back when. eg. ~1700 you would phonetically say "thruff" not "throo", "k-nicght" not "nyt"
Posted by SuperFunGordon_DUPE1, around 14th October 2005:
 
it's easier to remember english grammar oddities if you remember it's about 3 languages overlaid

Seriously? When you need to know the plural of 'mouse' you think "Now, what was 'mouse' in Norwegian again..?"
Posted by Brock, around 14th October 2005:
 
Of course. Don't you?
Posted by Alfie_DUPE1, around 14th October 2005:
 
"(i also had to look up january in the dictionary. fuck)"

"To work out which month was before February?"

The month before February in the dictionary would be December, shurely? ;)
Posted by Alfie_DUPE1, around 14th October 2005:
 
I don't believe there is £12.34 in Sul's account. The number seems unlikely.
Posted by Alfie_DUPE1, around 14th October 2005:
 
Oh and my birth day is 2nd August 1982
Posted by Brock, around 14th October 2005:
 
The £12.34 does sound rather unlikely. Any quantity that can be divided by the price of a Stella Tortoise 4-pack and still make a whole number is unlikely to be in there, I imagine.
Posted by Sul_DUPE1, around 14th October 2005:
 
It's true. I lied. But I actually get 6 cans for a fiver round the Milton. The main newsagent/offy has just been taken over by Co-op. They are charging £1.23 per can. Thems crazy prices!
Posted by reitsma, around 14th October 2005:
 
28|march|1982
Posted by Doctor Lucid_DUPE1, around 14th October 2005:
 
4th March 1980
Posted by syl_DUPE1, around 14th October 2005:
 
Lucid, I thought you said 9 July 1981. I got happy because I have a fellow Cancerian...what's this 4 March business?
Posted by Brock, around 14th October 2005:
 
hE WAS ANSWERING FOR lUCY rECORD!!!111111ONEOENOEONEONENOne
Posted by Saltation_DUPE1, 14th October 2005:
 
and ALLCAPS!
Posted by Lucy Record, 14th October 2005:
 
Cannot be
Posted by syl_DUPE1, 14th October 2005:
 
Hi Luce!
Posted by Salman Rushdie_DUPE1, 14th October 2005:
 
Curse you Lucy! I thought you were dead!
Posted by Doctor Lucid_DUPE1, 14th October 2005:
 
Yeah, I'm a cancerian...
Posted by syl_DUPE1, 14th October 2005:
 
Yea the best people are Cancerian; Nelson Mandela, Princess Diana, Doc Lucid and me... ;)
Posted by Lucy Record, 14th October 2005:
 
Course I'm not dead. Check your email buddy.
Posted by Saltation_DUPE1, 14th October 2005:
 
"Remember! Never check email without your email buddy! And learn your hand signals. Sometimes, the only thing between you and email death is your email buddy. I don't want to see ANYBODY here out of sight of their email buddy at any time."
Posted by Alfie_DUPE1, 14th October 2005:
 
Princess Diana is dead Syl, didn't you get the memo?
Posted by ellipse, 14th October 2005:
 
but is she?
maybe it's just a huge global conspiracy
Posted by Sul_DUPE1, 14th October 2005:
 
Yeah, she's just resting her eyes.
Posted by Alfie_DUPE1, 15th October 2005:
 
on the dashboard?
Posted by cal_DUPE1, 15th October 2005:
 
i suspect the date on which she was born hasn't changed though
Posted by Doctor Lucid_DUPE1, 15th October 2005:
 
I have Princess Di's funeral on video!!!
Posted by Alfie_DUPE1, 15th October 2005:
 
"I suspect the date on which she was born hasn't changed though"

Yeah, can she still be a Cancerian despite being dead?

"this month you won't meet a tall dark handsome stranger, in fact you won't meet anyone at all"
Posted by eatmypiano_DUPE1, 15th October 2005:
 
30th June 1970
Posted by syl_DUPE1, around 16th October 2005:
 
eatmypiano, that's nice, you're also Cancerian and a bit closer to my age. :)

Yeah alfie, Di might be dead, don't I know it - I cried all day in front of the TV, don't ask me why, I never met her. But even though she's dead, while she was alive she was quite an extraordinary person. Those flowers! I have never seen so many flowers in my life. Those flowers were a testimony to who she was.
Posted by Alfie_DUPE1, around 16th October 2005:
 
An adultress and attention seeking media whore?
Posted by Alfie_DUPE1, around 16th October 2005:
 
*tick tick tick*
Posted by Sul_DUPE1, around 16th October 2005:
 
Re: All the flowers. I thought it was a little in bad taste as she suffered from terrible heyfever. I stole some of them and gave them to a girl. :)
Posted by Sul_DUPE1, around 16th October 2005:
 
I'll be honest. I didnt care for the woman and I thought she had silly hair.
Posted by Saltation_DUPE1, around 16th October 2005:
 
i was on a monster weekend in devon when the vile di scraped herself down a french underpass.

my english gf at the time refused to speak to me for most of the day after i came back from the shower to see gf big-eyed watching tv:
"princess diana's on"
"is she dead?"
"yes!"
"fantastic!", with heartfelt meaning.

on the way back that arvo, we got held up in a jam on the motorway by heathrow, and saw the royal jet park up, and then the coffin in the back of the hearse entering on the special sliproad next to us.

woohoo!
Posted by Saltation_DUPE1, around 16th October 2005:
 
stupid self-obsessed self-aggrandising publicity monster

for example, on learning that the government would not change the law to allow her to call herself "Royal Highness" after she'd divorced charlie (interestingly, the phenomenal efforts of her publicity machine mean that most english "forget" that the divorce was accorded to her adultery, not his later adultery. humans' group hysteria is fascinating, if frightening.) the "giving" the "charitable" the "philanthropic" diana immediately cancelled all her charity work, and issued press releases and called upon her ex-charities to blame the royal family for forcing her to quit.
the ONLY change was that she couldn't call herself queen.
a MAGNIFICENTLY UNINTENTIONAL HONESTY, from the queen of spin.

she was and is loathsome slime.
Posted by syl_DUPE1, around 16th October 2005:
 
Sheesh Salty and alfie…

I didn’t know that she did that with the charities, but what about the good that she did do? A person is never all bad (or all good)…I do think that she courted and used the media that she claimed hunted her down wherever she went, which is hypocritical, but I don’t think she deserves to be called vile, though?
Posted by syl_DUPE1, around 16th October 2005:
 
Then again I have been accused of being a big ole softie bleedin' 'eart sap for only seeing people's good points.
Posted by SuperFunGordon_DUPE1, around 16th October 2005:
 
It's alright - I fucking hate gay people, so prejudice is all good in my opinion.


Just to clarify, this is a lie, kind of meant to goad you into calling me homophobic so I could call you all xenophobic.
You win, damn you all (:
Posted by WarHead, around 16th October 2005:
 
Yes, you can often safely express you real or imaginary prejudices in here without fear of violent reaction.

However, if you spell something incorrectly, you're likely to be leapt on from a great height from the International Order of Pedants.
Posted by syl_DUPE1, around 16th October 2005:
 
...and you have to wear pants, otherwise you're likely to be leapt into from a great height by the International Order of Pants.
Posted by Saltation_DUPE1, around 17th October 2005:
 
# Lawyer: What is your date of birth?
# Witness: July 15th.
# Lawyer: What year?
# Witness: Every year.
Posted by relaxin500, around December 2005:
 
that is a gaY JOKE
Posted by Alfie_DUPE1, around December 2005:
 
No, you're thinking of the one where Elton John and George Michael walk into a pub.
Posted by Saltation_DUPE1, around December 2005:
 
backwards
Posted by Doctor Lucid_DUPE1, around December 2005:
 
I'm with relaxin500. That is a gay joke.
Posted by Doctor Lucid_DUPE1, around December 2005:
 
Oh, actually, I know the one you mean Alfie.

So Elton John and George Michael go into a pub. George tugs on Elton's sleeve and says "I've left my money at home. Can you buy me a pint of Guinness." Elton considers it. Finally, he replies "Only if I can have sex with you in the ass."
Posted by Sul_DUPE1, around December 2005:
 
ROLF!!11
Posted by WarHead, around December 2005:
 
{edit} Post removed because it was unworthy.
Posted by ellipse, around December 2005:
 
did someone take your funny away wh?
Posted by Doctor Lucid_DUPE1, around December 2005:
 
Sorry.
Posted by Doctor Lucid_DUPE1, around December 2005:
 
So Elton John and George Michael go into a pub. They study the menu for a bit. Finally Elton agrees that he will only buy George a pint of stout after a good bit of well lubricated ass action. They perform the act, in the amount of time it takes to pour a perfect pint of Guinness. George sips at his pint, whilst Elton studies the food menu. Ordering a Chips and Cheese, he gouges out George's eye with the supplied fork.

Triumphant, upon the table above the prone injured bleeding and defeated George, he utters; "That'll learn you!"
Posted by robotnik, around December 2005:
 
Good Friday.
Posted by WarHead, around December 2005:
 
Doc, I think all that full cream milk has dulled your surrealistic edge. Hope you're feeling better soon.
Posted by Doctor Lucid_DUPE1, around December 2005:
 
Hmmm...

Full cream milk?
Posted by Doctor Lucid_DUPE1, around December 2005:
 
. . . now I remember something about that this evening . . .
Posted by Doctor Lucid_DUPE1, around December 2005:
 
. . . but what was it . . .
Posted by Doctor Lucid_DUPE1, around December 2005:
 
** bit like when some unusual think turns up to the door and you think ... "I sent off for that...?" **
Posted by Doctor Lucid_DUPE1, around December 2005:
 
Got it. Yeah, that.

Can't believe you didn't like the first joke. I was well proud of that one.
Posted by WarHead, around December 2005:
 
{edit} Another pointless post removed.

What was the joke Alfie alluded to?
Posted by Alfie_DUPE1, around December 2005:
 
I wasn't alluding to anything.
Posted by Doctor Lucid_DUPE1, around December 2005:
 
What do you mean I don't do jokes?

What about;

Q. What do the Queen and Picasso have in common?
A. They both had blue periods.

or..

So my sister just had twins. She's named them Garth and Simon.
Posted by Saltation_DUPE1, around December 2005:
 
i quite LIKED the first joke

oh, and that "blue periods" joke is on my list of all-time CLASSICS
Posted by WarHead, around December 2005:
 
Doc, don't worry about it.

%*£$&£?! - there, all the nasty posts are dealt with.
Posted by Boudicca_DUPE1, around December 2005:
 
yep, nastiness gets you banned, war!
Posted by Boudicca_DUPE1, around December 2005:
 
Woo. We are 50 posts short of 9000 replies. Yeeehah!
Posted by Doctor Lucid_DUPE1, around December 2005:
 
It's okay... I wasn't really upset.. always up for some constructive criticism!

So what was Alfie's joke?

Oh, and 10th October 1982
Posted by Boudicca_DUPE1, around December 2005:
 
Oh no, now Lucid! When is it?
Posted by Sul_DUPE1, around December 2005:
 
Bet I can do a worse joke. Here goes:

So Elton John and George Michael go into a pub. Upon entering they realise they've stumbled upon a Strictly Come Dancing regional competition. George says to Elton, "Let's go, I find ballroom dancing extremely tedious and tiring." Before they could leave though, the landlord approaches them excitedly. "George! Elton! Oh my god, you could just save my life", he says, "the booked judges haven't been able to make it due to a bust up over whether Wayne Sleep was the best child catcher in chitty chitty bang bang or Richard O'Brien. Will you two stand in?". Elton, being the nicest man on earth, volunteers them both.
The show starts and the landlord introduces the competition. 5 couples would compete in 3 different dances. Among the entrants was a 3 foot tall Portuguese woman whose name the landlord was unable to pronounce. He simply introduced her as one of the finest disco-dancers in all of Portugal looking for her break over here. Upon hearing this George perked up. He loves the Disco Dancing.
The fist Dance got underway - the Tango. All 5 couples were pretty good, not that George would notice because her fell asleep in the first ten seconds. Elton, however, was really enjoying it. After all the couples had danced their Tango the landlord asked the judges for some quick constructive criticism. Thinking the Portuguese lady had let herself down a little, in broken English he offered some advice of "Hold man closer tiny dancer" then nudged George who, without lifting his head, asked that they "wake him up before they go-go".
Posted by Doctor Lucid_DUPE1, around December 2005:
 
Genius!
Posted by Sul_DUPE1, around December 2005:
 
One more:

Elton John and George Michael walk into a bar, they both let out an excited 'ooooh', it was a gay bar.
Posted by WarHead, around December 2005:
 
Was that a joke?
Posted by Sul_DUPE1, around December 2005:
 
Can you do better?
Posted by Saltation_DUPE1, around December 2005:
 
THAT sounds like something a girlfriend once said to me
Posted by WarHead, around December 2005:
 
Can you do better?


Maybe. Let's see.

A very distressed woman goes to her doctor with an embarrassing problem.

‘Doctor, ‘ she says, ‘my vagina makes a whistling noise.’

The doctor is amazed as he has never heard anything like it in his life. He refers her to a gynaecologist and he’s never seen anything like it either, but he’s very excited about the phenomenon and asks if he can refer her case to the Royal Society of Gynaecologists, to which she agrees, and she allows him to make a recording of the noise.

As luck would have it, the Royal Society of Gynaecologists Annual Conference is due to take place the following month and the gynaecologist prepares a presentation to make to the whole society.

The day arrives, and at the appointed time he takes to the stage and says, ‘Gentlemen, I have discovered a case unique in our sphere of medicine. Please listen to this recording and see if you can imagine what it could possibly be.’

He plays the recording and for a few seconds there is total silence. Then the President of the Society pipes up, ‘It just sounds like some cunt whistling to me.’
Posted by Boudicca_DUPE1, around 23rd December 2005:
 
tut tut. War.
/shakes head and wags finger at him
Posted by Boudicca_DUPE1, around 1st January 2006:
 
Cal, you were born on a Saturday.
Posted by Boudicca_DUPE1, around 1st January 2006:
 
Brock was also bor on a Saturday
Posted by Boudicca_DUPE1, around 1st January 2006:
 
Sul was born on a Monday
Posted by Boudicca_DUPE1, around 1st January 2006:
 
Doc was born on a Thursday
Posted by Boudicca_DUPE1, around 1st January 2006:
 
Alfie was born on a Monday
Posted by Boudicca_DUPE1, around 1st January 2006:
 
reitsma was born on a sunday = gay (haha)
Posted by Boudicca_DUPE1, around 1st January 2006:
 
eatmypianowasbornononatuesday
Posted by Boudicca_DUPE1, around 1st January 2006:
 
warhead was born...oh heck it's too long ago. Sorry. It was a Thursday :)
Posted by Grim..., around 1st January 2006:
 
Moi - 3/10/78 - a Tuesday, I believe.
Posted by Boudicca_DUPE1, around 1st January 2006:
 
Syl was born on a Wednesday = woe
Posted by Boudicca_DUPE1, around 1st January 2006:
 
Correct Grim, it was a Tuesday = full of grace
Posted by addy, around 4th March 2006:
 
hey
Posted by addy, around 4th March 2006:
 
im 13teen b-day is march 20th
Posted by WarHead, around 4th March 2006:
 
You're thirteenteen on March 20th? Congratulations. Maybe then you'll be able to spell "I'm" and "thirteen."
Posted by syl_DUPE1, around 5th March 2006:
 
^Grumpy old Warhead^^^^ :)