Discussion » Bacteria are lucky bastards

This is a read-only copy. The forum ran on iamcal.com from 2000 until its database was lost in 2016, and this topic was rebuilt from copies saved by the Internet Archive's Wayback Machine. Some replies may be missing, and its dates are approximate.
Posted by Sul_DUPE1, around November 2005:
 
Bacteria are stupid. It's sheer luck they became such a feared organism.

Before I continue in explaining my observation I think it's important that I explain that, for some months now, logic hasn't exactly been a major factor in the running of my life.

So I continue, as I said I would. For the last couple of weeks there's been a weird funk coming from the fridge (At first I thought it was the dog but I checked for Fleas... sorry). I threw away almost everything: those seafood sticks that were a little out of date, the dinosaur ham, the apples, the oranges, all the quorn, although I'm not sure exactly how wet cardboard goes out of date - no, doesn't sound like my fridge does it? It isn't... quite. The Stella and can of Coke are/is mine. Explanation? Ok. Using the previous lost-logic, if I may, I am now living back at my folks house - longish story but lets just say, if you don't pay your mortgage they actually DO kick you out of your home. Anyway, the folks are on Holiday until about 6AM. It's about 1:30AM now so obviously I started cleaning at midnight and left the unsolved funk investigation until just now. After putting on my deerstalker and lighting my pipe (not a good move after having Ousted the whole house to get rid of that lovely smokey smell) I noticed I hadn't checked the lettuce. It looked harmless enough. I left it there with the rather optimistic thought of using it as part of a healthy salady snack. It looked ok until I picked it up and saw the bottom was absolutely rank. Now comes my point - Surely starting at the top would allow for a much wider cover of bacteria activity. You've got gravity on your side; you're not having to constantly move to the sides as the object moves down. These fuckers can kill a human but they can't figure out how to efficiently position themselves on a lettuce?

Evolution? Lucky fucks.
Creationism? The favourites - everything’s always handed to them on a plate.

Oh, and the lettuce isn't causing the stench, still don’t know what it is. :/
Posted by Sul_DUPE1, around 5th November 2005:
 
Now I think about it, they are using gravity to their advantage aren't they. I've been out-witted by bacteria. Little fuckers!
Posted by cal_DUPE1, around 6th November 2005:
 
not living in london any more then, or do your folks live there?
Posted by syl_DUPE1, around 6th November 2005:
 
Does the stench follow you into, say, the bedroom?
Posted by Saltation_DUPE1, around 6th November 2005:
 
awww. i WANTED that dinosaur ham.
Posted by Saltation_DUPE1, around 6th November 2005:
 
nip to shop and buy and lob into fridge a packet of bicarbonate of soda (opened). hides a multitude of sins.
Posted by WarHead, around 6th November 2005:
 
It's got to be a big packet then, has it?
Posted by Saltation_DUPE1, around 7th November 2005:
 
depends on your multitude
Posted by Saltation_DUPE1, around 7th November 2005:
 
but i'd go with 'kin YOOJ, just to be on the safe side

cos, you know, life's all about not taking risks
Posted by Sul_DUPE1, around 7th November 2005:
 
Cal: I never lived in London in the first place. I live on the edge of it in Kent. I still do live here too. Though I do have an 0207 skype-in number so the chicks think I'm loaded ;)

I don't care about the fridge now. The folks are home. They can clean it.
Posted by Saltation_DUPE1, around 7th November 2005:
 
they can flee, too
Posted by cal_DUPE1, around 10th November 2005:
 
sul: ahh, my mistake. you worked in south london at sainsburys though, right?
Posted by Sul_DUPE1, around 10th November 2005:
 
That's correct. Best shelf stocker in the area I'll have you know.