Discussion » I'm getting bird flu

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Posted by Sul_DUPE1, around January 2006:
 
or something similar. Anyone know a good way to reduce the swelling in my throat gland things? I can barely fucking swallow.
Posted by Sul_DUPE1, around 9th January 2006:
 
But I suppose it's expected from fucking swallow.
Posted by WarHead, around 9th January 2006:
 
There's a lot of it about. But I doubt that 'it' is bird flu. Unless you've been interfering with chickens again.
Posted by Brock, around 9th January 2006:
 
I had that a few days ago. Just take a couple of paracetemols and it'll be suppressed. It goes away after a few days.

You whining bitch
Posted by Sul_DUPE1, around 9th January 2006:
 
I feel like shit most of the time anyway, that's not my problem, it's the throat thing. I was expecting a flurry of "gargle some TCP" like advice.
Posted by Alfie_DUPE1, around 9th January 2006:
 
gargle warm salty water.
(not salty's water)
It tastes nasty but seems to help.
Posted by Alfie_DUPE1, around 9th January 2006:
 
I had it over the weekend although not so I couldn't swallow. The time before that though I thought I'd never be able to eat drink or sleep again.
Posted by Grim..., around 9th January 2006:
 
You can't get bird flu if you're a bloke.

D'uh.
Posted by WarHead, around 9th January 2006:
 
Is that a FACT?
Posted by Doctor Lucid_DUPE1, around 9th January 2006:
 
Did you see the thing in the paper. The kids got bird flu. From playing with some dead chicken heads. Now there's a lesson to be learnt here somewhere.
Posted by Saltation_DUPE1, around 9th January 2006:
 
i believe i was the first person to come up with that joke EVAH.
go-blog-go.blogspot.com/200...
Friday, October 21, 2005
Bird Flu
Apparently, bird flu is about to sweep across the world.

I'm a bloke, though, so I should be all right.
Posted by Saltation_DUPE1, around 9th January 2006:
 
dead chicken heads? what a great and practical christmas gift for kids!
Posted by Alfie_DUPE1, around 9th January 2006:
 
Oh man, I was deciding between a Nintendo DS and some dead chicken heads. But I guess I'll be going with the DS.
Posted by Saltation_DUPE1, around 9th January 2006:
 
sul: if your throat glands are swollen, gargling won't help (unless you gargle aspirin etc for local anaesthetic purposes) -- that's yer lymph glands hoovering up crap. low probability but best bet is to force your lymph heart to work harder. you actually have TWO circulatory systems: blood + lymph; and the lymph system is actually 50% bigger than the blood system. but where the blood has an active heart (the "heart"), the lymph only has a passive heart, a large compressible channel running behind your solar plexus. i've noticed that the tai-chi/chi-qong basic stances all seem to deliberately focus on rhythmically de/compressing this part of the body-- this may be why it has the health benefits.

anyway:
try curling your tailbone forwards then breathing by pushing your ribs sideways rather than just out, breathing out by clenching the solar plexus.

this works the lymph heart.
do until bored then watch more tv.
Posted by Saltation_DUPE1, around 9th January 2006:
 
yep, all the dead chicken heads sold out on pre-orders
Posted by Alfie_DUPE1, around 9th January 2006:
 
:D

Yeah but there are some used ones on Amazon.
Posted by Alfie_DUPE1, around 9th January 2006:
 
Wow I forgot Salty knows everything about everything. I don't know why the rest of us bother replying to anything these days.
Posted by Boudicca_DUPE1, around 9th January 2006:
 
Sul, I think you should stay home and get paraletically drunk. That's good for all *sorts* of things.
Posted by Sul_DUPE1, around 9th January 2006:
 
"but where the blood has an active heart (the "heart")" :)

That Tai Chi thing made no sense to me but thanks for the info. Think I'll try gargling some bleach or something then giving my neck a big squeeze hoping to force some of the crap out. Rolf did it to a blocked Hamster cheek on Animal Hospital once. Cant be that different.
Posted by Saltation_DUPE1, around 9th January 2006:
 
do you get to run around on a little wheel afterwards?
Posted by Doctor Lucid_DUPE1, around 9th January 2006:
 
Alfie: Force of habit? To throw people off track? A chance from ensaltlopaedia?

God, that was dreadful. Nail my other foot to the floor.