In light of iamcal's growing grinding-to-a-halt as a result of lack of new blood and consequential shrinkification of participants (I myself am already 2 inches shorter), we are throwing open the forum board to new topics.
If you think YOU have a good idea for a topic, apply below. At the end of the process, we will carefully evaluate and judge each topical application, and may award successful applications with a tube of cream and a topic to call their own.
State your name and current intoxication level, a thread topic you'd like to see, and the reasons why.
The judges decision is final but variable and offers of bribes and inducements of a sexual nature are warmly welcomed.
Posted by
Brock, around 11th April 2006:
I'd like to see threads from young fillies that are desperate to post their naked self portraits in order to ensnare an older (possibly balding and lecherous) older man for rampant sex with no strings or sexually transmitted diseases.
Preferably from ones that are based in the South East of England, for ease of access, although I have been known to cast my net much further than that if sex is on the cards, to be brutally honest.
I'd like a topic about topics. Cheers for that mate.
Posted by
Grim..., around 11th April 2006:
I'll tell you for free how to get an active thread: Start an argument.
mariah carey is rubbish
stella doesn't taste very nice.
there's two arguements to start with..
Posted by
Grim..., around 11th April 2006:
Sorry, we're just going to ad hominem you all the way to fuck because you spelt 'arguments' wrong.
=]
brock: how about we spin that thread off into its own site: http:myspacal.com?
sul: metacheers. i'll see what i can do.
grim: that's complete bullshit, you don't know what you're talking about. arguments don't work like that at all. you clearly don't know anything about arguments.
or topics.
or arguments.
knobwipe.
frankie: ooo, how about "mariah carey IS stella"? that just kicks off arguments in ALL those directions, and all in the one thread! think of the electrons we'll save!!
Posted by
WarHead, around 11th April 2006:
/me waits for Gary to miraculously appear.
We need to stir up all the old regulars. Beargod, eatmypiano, Vic .... perhaps not Vic, and, erm, other people. I mean, can't Rosie type with one hand?
yeah, but remember: the "all the old regulars" were still only responsible for around half the postings. the rest was a series of new blood.
timing-wise, one thing regrettable about the over-insular "bickering" that finally led cal to kill the site was that in the month prior, there'd been a few new entrants that were shaping up as rational and valuable contributors. and also, due to their different backgrounds to the old guard, they were likely to add a lot of energy over time to the iamcal forum's (nonbickery) liveliness as the old guard would respond less hackneyedly.
Posted by
Grim..., around 11th April 2006:
Christ! I know what
gets us all posting!
Posted by
WarHead, around 11th April 2006:
'The rest' were partly comprised of eejits saying, 'He's innercent.' every time MJ was slandered.
But I take your point. I blame Vic. He was never nice to anyone. And isn't here to defend himself.
Posted by
Grim..., around 11th April 2006:
My take on the Mariah Carey thing: She has a nice voice, but her songs are crap. Anyway, who gives a fuck what she sounds like?
Posted by
WarHead, around 11th April 2006:
Quite. With a face as ugly as that you can't concentrate on the muzak.
Posted by
Grim..., around 11th April 2006:
ARE YOU A GAYER?
Posted by
Grim..., around 11th April 2006:
(Or do you just not have your glasses on?)
Posted by
Brock, around 11th April 2006:
Grim...: I agree. I don't care if she sings or not, I'd straighten her spine given half a chance. She does have a good voice if you can beat the warbly tendencies out of her.
I miss Vic, personally. He made me laugh. I think the main issue is that the relaunch of teh site took too long, and most people seemed to have shifted jobs to ones that don't allow vast amounts of time to post pointless topics and the like.
Also, I think the blank canvas scared us all a bit. I miss the archives.
Also, we don't get the random strangers that we used to, either. Maybe because there is less archive toi attract hits to get people here.
Hmmmm.
Either way, Vic's a cunt, and I miss fighting with him. It was much fun and very inventive.
Aw no! It's because Cal isn't here often enough.
Posted by
Brock, around 11th April 2006:
Cal was hardly ever here before, to be honest. More than he is now, but he was hardly ever here anyway.
You can't even poke the bloke out of hiding by insulting him anymore. That used to a guaranteed method to get a response from the ugly, greasy haired nob-jockey.
/me waits with little expectation of any Cal-tivity.
Brock, you also have been pretty scarce yourself.
Okay, to follow Sal's instructions :
Hi, my name is Syl and I am as sober as a Lord. I would like to see more topics about what's going on in everyone's lives because I am nosy. Thank you.
*sits down*
Posted by
Grim..., around 11th April 2006:
*up*
Hi, I'm Grim... and I'm not called Matthew or Squirrel, no matter what that last crazy bint said elsewhere.
I would like to see more topics that involve pictures of women's naughty bits, or that basically revolve around me.
Because I'm fucking great.
*down*
Posted by
Brock, around 11th April 2006:
"*up*.........*down*"
Wow. Hell of a mood swing you have there, Grim. Talking about yourself seems remarkably theapeutic, though.
"I mean, can't Rosie type with one hand?"
Brock seems to manage.
Posted by
Grim..., around 11th April 2006:
See, I was going to ask what she was doing with the other hand.
Didn't she drop a sprog?
yes, i imagine the other hand is holding the baby. or cutting cords or whatever it is that mothers do.
sober as the Lord? this the same chap as not only turned water into wine but was then seen far out to sea walking on said water without due care and attention?
syl: the rules were specific: suggest topics! vague request that others suggest topics of a particular nature is way too passive.
grim: what, if syl jumped off a bridge, you would too?
alfie: yeah, if she HAD dropped the sprog, she could be typing with both hands. this selfish need to hold the sprog with one hand is just selfish and one-handed.
Posted by
ellipse, around 11th April 2006:
Grim, I thought your name was...oh shucks, I've done it again!
Sal, okay a topic : I would like to learn how to do websites. Where is the best place to start? Bearing in mind that I know NOTHING. Thanks.
Posted by
Grim..., 12th April 2006:
www.w3schools.com
Posted by
Grim..., 12th April 2006:
o_0
Posted by
WarHead, 12th April 2006:
ARE YOU A GAYER?
No, I just find that she has the kind of face tham makes me want to SLAP IT HARD. Then SLAP IT AGAIN. Perhaps she just needs a substantial bag over her head. And she hangs out with all those gangsta rapper dudes these days, doesn't she. I can't be doing with that sort of thing.
Hahahahaaa
I sometimes find Mariah Carey attractive and sometimes not. I think it may be proportional to the amount of clothing she's wearing at the time. I would also insist she quits the tremolo before throwing her a bone though.
I agree with Warhead. I can't stand her.
Posted by
Grim..., 12th April 2006:
That because YOU BOTH LIKE MEN!
=]
Ha!Ha! I can assure you, Warhead does not like men! There are lots of female artists that I like. MC is not one of them. She is so annoying, the way she does that affected twirly wirly thing with her hand.
Posted by
WarHead, 12th April 2006:
It's probably the "twirly wirly thing with her hand" that Grim particularly likes.
*musing*... a combination of that twirly wirly thing with loads of that throat tremolo thing would make for a great head job
*strokes chin*
with nuts
Posted by
Grim..., 12th April 2006:
I can assure you, Warhead does not like men!
There's only one way you could know that...
Posted by
Grim..., 12th April 2006:
(And even then, I'd argue that it's not amazingly accurate...)
=]
I don't know what you mean, Grim?
Posted by
Brock, 12th April 2006:
Heh. I do.
:)
further to the "MC" Maria Carey references I'd like you all to imagine ive drawn a really amusing picture of MC Hammer. That is Maria Carey's face on Mr Hammer's body:
Failing that search on b3ta cos I'm sure someone else has drawn one at some point in time.
Posted by
Grim..., 13th April 2006:
It's a bit
too flawless, really...
Posted by
cv, around 19th April 2006:
i would do her any day. tell me your ultimate mariah fantasy. and i'll tell you mine
that she turned up at my place horny and desperate, then spontaneously turned into kylie minogue or darcey bussell
(or in more recent news: rhona mitra (the model for lara croft))
or, better, kylie minogue AND darcey bussell.
and rhona. can't forget rhona. it's only fair.
Salty, what are you doing up at 04h19?
Posted by
Grim..., around 19th April 2006:
Recent? Rhona was the model for the original Lara 10 years ago.
recent in terms of addition to my pantheon of überbabes
i weep for the not-knowing-then of rhona's 10year younger self
