Discussion » Am I cynical? I am? Am I really?

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Posted by Sul_DUPE1, around 3rd January 2007:
 
I just saw the advert from HSBC saying, for all products you buy from them in January they’ll invest an undisclosed sum to charity.

This type of marketing is pissing me off. Even more so in the next case that’s been bothering me for a few months. I give you… The Peter Andre and Jordan album:
This would be more credible as a charity album if the charity idea was announced at all before recording it.
I can just imagine the meeting they had in marketing (I’ve got Stephen Fry’s marketing character in my head as I type this)
”The producer has quit on the grounds… well let’s just say he couldn’t… didn’t feel up to the job. Anyway, at such short notice we thought we’d put both of your best takes through a vocal corrector. While it really is quite a fantastic work it might not meet the standards needed for a hit record…. Woah woah. Don’t worry. We’ve got a cunning plan. What we’re going to do is release the album as a… wait for it… charity album.”
”You what?”
”Katie, Jordan, whatever you’re calling yourself. Understand this: you have a significant celebrity status that, as you are aware, is easy to exploit. We’ve announced the album’s coming. The initial press isn’t good. What we propose is that instead of reaping the immediate benefits of a singing career is that you release the first album not only profit free but as a charity record.”
“You what?”
”Look. If you release a sub-par album and you’re a no-one you’ll get panned in the music press. If you release a sub-par album as Jordan you’ll get panned in all the press. If you release a sub-par album as Jordan with the proceeds going to charity then no-one can pan it or they’ll look as though they’re deterring people from donating to charity by buying the record. Do as much publicity as possible an NO-ONE will pan it.”
”That’s genius”
“I sold my soul to the devil a long time ago”
Posted by Sul_DUPE1, around 3rd January 2007:
 
Oh and I'd fucking love to see the rundown of the actual profits from the sales. Who exactly is giving up their profits from this venture. I'll forgive the total production costs of the album and the per unit cost, but I really want to see who are giving up their royalties to charity from this. Surely it should be everyone that, traditionally, gets a cut from the sales. Is this going to be the case? And is the record company going to, for once, change its charges on the album to reflect a download instead of charging per unit costs as if a CD?
Posted by syl_DUPE1, around 3rd January 2007:
 
Haha! Sul, you should write a column. Honestly.

I think they ought to have an auditing firm involved. Add a bit of credibility to the lies. Muaha etc
Posted by Grim..., 4th January 2007:
 
You missed a bit, Sulleh:
"Also, you'll be able to draw a 'wage' from the CD for all your singing and promo work which will be calculated before the charity proceeds, so you won't lose out on any cash!"
Posted by syl_DUPE1, 4th January 2007:
 
I'm hiring you both as my agents. I sing country and western.
;)
Posted by ellipse, 5th January 2007:
 
see now i brough a christmas bear from the local version of harrods (but without princees di memorial) and %50 of the sale went to a specific charity.

hey i brought the bear anyway but i was please to know the exact amount
Posted by Saltation_DUPE1, 9th January 2007:
 
i think it's sad that somewhere, some poor charity recipient is clutching half a stuffed bear.
Posted by Doctor Lucid_DUPE1, 11th January 2007:
 
I have diabetes.
Posted by Lucy Record, 11th January 2007:
 
Oh, god, Doc, that's awful.
Posted by Doctor Lucid_DUPE1, 11th January 2007:
 
Hah, no, I was just kidding. Sorry.
Posted by Saltation_DUPE1, 11th January 2007:
 
I have monobetes.