iamcal.com Since May 2000

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• Hello!

Welcome to iamcal.com - tell us who you are in this topic and if we like you you'll gain access to the rest of the site.

test...

Can I play in the grownups pool?

I'm Sul. I have a computer. It lets me do stuff.

Also, not to be a pain and don't worry if you can't be bothered, but is there any chance you could do a (quick?) DB search and replace any references to my name with "Che" instead?

Only there are a couple of posts in the mists of time with my Full name (all 9 letters of it) and it's vomiting iamcal stuff to the top of google when you search me.

Ta

If not then don't worry, I hear I can change my real life name for only £14.99

can't be arsed right now - i'm on holiday. send me an email or something and i'll get around to it eventually.

did you really need to create a new account? i could have reactivated one of your old ones.

you should both be able to post in the big boys' topics now

Hello!

Cal, I tried to reset my password, account "syl" [removed] - it said "your password has been reset and you've been logged in" but it won't log me in. I'll try again. And...

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for bringing the messageboard back!!!! I've missed it!

Haha! Nevermind. It worked - I think I had too many windows open or something.

Hello everyone :)

Strange - even though this is an old account I can't post in the Welcome thread.

hullo!

can I play too?

Got to say, sad as it sounds, I'm really glad to see the return of the 'recent topics' side bar.

*shoots self*

Haha. Hello AP, how have you been?

I'm OK. Very little to report though. Apart from the creeping concern that I'm already spamming this thread :(

Everyone is coming back. yay!

syl and ap have been un-newbie'd

Thanks Cal.
I can't believe almost four years has gone by since I happened on this site. I've been reading some of my old posts and cringing! Can understand why you all got so cross with me! Pfffft!

*crack knuckles*

Let battle commence....

muahaha!

(cheers cal!)

Wait - why am I Grim...DUPE1?

=[

Haha!

hello!

Hey Friday! :)

Hello! :)

It has been a while since I last posted, but can I play, too? :)

Oh, and does anyone have any idea why I have _DUPE1 at the end of my name? :(

People with DUPE1 are best.

Damn. And I thought it was because I'm special...

Well hello again Grim Dupe and Gary Dupe. It reminds me of the Bob Newheart show...

Hello, Syl! :)

How've you been Gary?

Not bad, thank you, Syl. Mostly all work and no play, but there you go. How about yourself?

I'm very well thanks :)

grim, friday and gary have been un-newbie'd

you two have 'dupe' names since i merged the old iamcal forum with the more recent one and there were some duplicate usernames. i'll see if i can't fix that up now...

there we go

Woohoo! I'm no longer a newbie! :)

I'm reasonable (and back)

i am milknosugar

i am on a couple of other Cal creations so thought that i'd chuck my hat into this one as well

I'm not sure what I am yet. I was DUPE1 but couldn't log myself in again with that, so I'm now DUPE2. Scared to log out in case I can't log in again, again.

Presumably cal will do his magic and I'll be me again. I'd like that. I miss me.

Yeah, I have the DUPE thing. I assumed it was a joke that Cal was playing whereby he got me to give him some log in secrets so he could sign into all my accounts as me, and pick up one of my stalkers for a girlfriend....

Guess not.

Un-Dupe please!

miki is approved. i'll deal with you two when i get into the office :)

Morning and welcome to B3tan milknosugar! Thanks for popping in!

warhead and brock have been de-duped and approved :)

Good show. Cheers cal.

RARR

Hello everyone :D
Can you approve me please?

I feel like I missed out by not being a dupe

corin and emma have been approved :)

whoop

ellipse is going to be so miffed when she learns that she missed this.

(Cos she's on 'oliday, innit.)

Arp.

thanks cal!
I wasn't a dupe either

i have burgled sul's computer. it lets me do stuff.

So who are we missing now?

Nov?

:D

And a whole load of others. Perhaps someone (/me looks in Cal's direction) should mail the ex-iamcal mailing list to let a few more know we're back in action.

Hey if they haven't noticed then screw 'em. They don't deserve to be back ;)

I mean I for one have refreshed this page at least twice a day for the last year or so, hoping it would return.

Or perhaps Sul just told me on MSN.

Nov was MIA for ages before the hiatus. She's probably chained to a wall in someone's basement.

Or in pieces in someone's deep freeze.

and there's jeffld - where's he?

"Or in pieces in someone's deep freeze."

*oof*

iamcal's most tasteless moment?

Haha. I am used to B3ta which is MUCH worse.

I have taken it upon myself to mail the list. Points may be awarded to the person who correctly guesses the first subscriber to appear as a result. Or not.

RUSS

Hello! My name is Stuart and I am a butcher. Can I join with your webchat?

You surely may Stuart. Welcome.

salty is approved

Are you calling me Salty because I am a butcher?

oooooooooooooohhhhh, i shall crush the lot of you

michael J
ackson

michail jack off

jack sprem in anas!!!!!!!!

i saw michai lll kack and he shoot sprem in the anas af beargod and gARY in Garys anas in his anas

in gary
and grim
he shoot

michael jackson
the gun man
shoot them
hold them down with his big gun
he shoot
in their anas

asspuppy he had a dog in the ass
a foot in the ass
michael jack offf in the ass of a dog

conspiracy?

they are not childs. they are consenting.

cal was once a pervert and he lured teenage girls to his house with promises of web favours

friday raps in a ragga style
michael jackson

BIOAMALL JACKKK!K!!

Honey?

I'm home...

The Doc Strikes

Hello Syl,

Who is the Doc?

Please tell Stuart we're not calling him Salty because he's a butcher.

Hello Doc! WELCOME BACK! :)

Stu's nothing to do with me..

Although I did just try to reset my password with my usual email address and that Micheil Jcakson loving scamp popped up... I have no idea what happened to Doc the Father...

It's very nice to see you here :) Like old times.

approved the doc, against my better judgement

I didn't even know there was a mailing list, which is why I missed the grand reopening last time.

I want vic back
and foghorn leghorn
and beargod
and miss jeff

yayness for inst-approvaldom!

*goes to infest other threads*

what the fuck?????????
let me in
i want to laugh in all your faces about holidays - becuase i am rarotonga right now and in an hour time will be snorkelling for my lunch. I just point at the pretty fish and then eat it BBQ style for lunch
YUM

missed you guys
thanks for bringing it back cal

and i have to say dialup really blows monkey chunks
how do people do this????

don't swallow

"got your broadband right HERE, baby!

wanna see what a fat pipe looks like?"

and i'm still waiting to see what it would be like to be a real person here instead of a noob

and i sooo missed this
do we have sul's group on facebook to thank for it?

That and me nagging Cal ;)

Hi Su - how are ya?

Fat pipe? I'll show you a fat pipe. They installed in my office, right over my desk.

i went surfing today
there are some advantages to not being able to snorkle
shame it's been such a long time i kept falling off

WarHead: What the hell is that pipe for?! Air Con?

that pipe is almost subtle ...

Could they not have put that monster in the ceiling :)

Gary: Yes, it's a 'temporary' pipe put in to divert the vent for our server room air con. The end of the building where it usually vents is being tarted up so we had to make alternative arangements.

miki: I like to think of it as a 'feature.'

Syl: there's not enough space above the suspended ceiling for the pipe to fit.

Since that pipe was installed I changed jobs, so I don't sit beneath it any more. I kinda miss it, really.

su: The Doc 'Can't Snorkel' either. ;0)

haha. I'd like to sneak into your office at night and draw funny things on that monster. ;)

wh: looks like your aircon techs answered too many of those spams

it's begging for some decoration, like fridge magnets or something

When it rains, my colleague hangs his cycling togs on it to dry.

It's not too bad in the office because a) it's almost at the end of the room, so there's no passing traffic, and b) you need to be about 6' to hit your head on it.

However, on the other side of the wall to the right is the server room, which has a raised floor, so the pipe is at the perfect height to brain the unwary. Someone's stuck a 'Mind your head' sign right across it, but I've still managed to ding meself on it a few times. NB Whenever one of us goes in there we're supposed to wear one of those Bob-The-Builder hard hats that are on the drawers next to the door, but noone ever does any more.

hurray im back on the forum woop

Hello Reddy

Ahhh its nice to be back. I really do need to find a way to get around the content ban at work. Outside proxies are annoyingly sack-worthy apparently. As is boozing at lunchtime I found out on Friday after 7 years of doing it. No offense to you guys but we all know which one of those rules I'm going to gamble with.

Nice to see everyone coming out of the woodwork.

Hello WarHead

Outside proxies are annoyingly sack-worthy apparently.

I was lucky I didn't get the sack for being on B3ta :(

ah yes. i was informally and formally warned i was an alcoholic once, for joining some of the lads in the pub on friday lunchtime at the end of my first week.

Amazing how they could tell so soon.

OHHH YEAH!!!

I RETURN!!!

hahahahaha

Why the fuck do you still have that?

Hahaha. I cant get over it. Sorry people but I love me 5 years ago.

Holy Shit. I've heard of the legend that is the Sul's-naked-arse-gif for half a decade but NEVER seen it.

I mean, apart from the live version which we were treated to when Sul came to stay.

I wasn't included in the live version :(

WB Vic. A suitably suitable post for your return.

Vic!!!!!

and sul, you really are one hot chick
;)

OOOOOOH! Sorry Vic, I am still here ;)

have you seen that one of brock, back when he worked in advertising?



of course, they photoshopped in a body double for this one

saltaion you cannot talk your rust cock is NEGATIVE OF ITSELF!!!

Geez I thought black men were supposed to be well endowed :(
That is just tooo sad.

Groaning Kurt released his cock. For the past week he hadn't been able to get off. He tried a cocktail of drugs and a cocktail of whores. Nothing was doing it for him. Masturbating in the shower wasn't even working. Oh he was getting hard all right, he just couldn't fucking cum. And it was driving him nuts.

To top it off, he didn't know why he couldn't cum. The girls had been either hot enough or slutty enough. Even the couple of guys he brought home had been decent. Despite that, he couldn't fucking cum. And a week of that was enough to make anyone more pissy than normal.

Which meant band practice was unlikely to be much fun for anyone.

That was made abundantly clear the moment Kurt stepped into the rehearsal studio. His eyes flicked from Krist to Dave and he came to a sudden stop. Dave was sitting on a couch, a pretty girl in his lap giggling. It was like he was taunting Kurt. And he would have nothing of that.

Stalking over to the drummer and the floozie, Kurt pulled her forcibly out of his lap. The girl squealed and Dave growled, but Kurt paid no attention, forcing the girl out of the studio. After slamming the door he headed back over to Dave. Without a word he pulled the drummer to him and kissed him possessively.

Dave shoved Kurt away, "What part of no don't you fucking understand!?"

Krist's eyes widened and he took a step forward, "Guys, I think—"

Kurt sent him a silent glare, silencing and stopping him.

"I don't want you, Kurt. I don't even fucking like you right now," Dave growled. "In fact, I fucking quit! I don't have to put up with this shit. You're fucking insane. You need some other crackwhore to take my place. I'm not it."

Sidestepping the singer, Dave headed towards the door. He barely made three steps before Kurt grabbed him again. This time his back was pulled to Kurt's front. He could clearly feel the singer's erection pressing into his ass.

He wasn't going to be anyone's bitch.

"I'm just gonna... go," Krist muttered before slipping out of the room quickly.

"You're fucking mine, Dave," Kurt declared, licking Dave's neck. "Always."

For as small as he was, Kurt had more strength than Dave expected. With considerably less effort than he would have figured, the singer forced the drummer down to the floor. Dave wiggled and tried to crawl away, but all that resulted was in Kurt pulling the drummer's pants off.

Laying down on top of Dave while he worked his own pants off, Kurt hissed in his ear, "You're mine. You hear me? Fucking mine."

"Stop! Kurt, stop!" Dave struggled.

With Kurt's weight on him, the drummer had very little maneuverability. He was completely trapped. But that didn't mean he stopped trying to get away. While wholly his struggling was probably a good thing, it wasn't really helping. If anything it was turning Kurt on more.

Not having the patience to remove Dave's boxers, Kurt reached down and tore the back seam, exposing the drummer's ass. He didn't even pause to warn Dave. His hands spread Dave's cheeks, spit down his crack to provide some lubrication, and quickly pushed his cock in. Dave screamed, wiggling once more to get away. With Kurt's hands holding onto his hips, he had no chance to go anywhere, at least not until the singer was done.

Dave's screams faded into sobs. That alone drove Kurt further, faster. He loved everything about it. The way Dave's ass squeezed his cock better than anyone else's had before. He was a perfect glove, a perfect fit. Before too long a week's worth of unreleased cum spurted from Kurt's cock.

Slowly he pulled out, not really caring about the mixture of blood and semen leaking from Dave's ass. Grinning to himself he refastened his pants. He glanced at Dave, a feeling of superiority infusing him. He totally owned Dave now.

pwrned!

Fucking hell you've changed.

well, my jocks were getting smelly

there's alot of cock about today

well, my jocks were getting smelly

what did i just walk into?! o.O

blast, now i'm going to have to wash them

In bleach.

I got a story like that in my Flickr inbox recently. O_o

hello I am peatmouse, and I am not a butcher. Is it all cock, jocks and waggy arses here?

I was a lurker before, but can't remember my old sign in info, so I've started all over again.

Being new, how did you manage to post on this thread? I suspect you are a mate of Cal's. Welcome to iamcal. :) You must now think us a depraved lot, going by these posts!

What?

Wow. It's all about the Nirvana slash fiction!

Sorry I forgot this was the newbie thread.

is that vic, or a doc suit? approved anyway

oh - it's doc :)

Haha, I don't think you're depraved at all.

Well.

Maybe a little. :)

yeah can't have been vic becuase he didn't try and hit on brock

Hahaha. Is that romance still alive and well?

Phewf. I'm slow.

It's about time you got here, young lady.

how is france?

How is France what?

Where is Brock. I miss him and his lovely head.

France is very French and very very fantastic.

brock is in canadia
i hear he has a job at a maple syrup factory pumping trees ;)

Can't wait to see what Brock has to say about Hanni's comments i.e. I'm sure he won't agree that 'French' and 'fantastic' can coexist.

hanni is now approved

<waves>

i is gfreeman over at b3ta
see profile there for debauchery and woefully bad shoppage
i is bin a b3tan for >5yrs
i feel vere foolish writin liek this

PS for a second job i used to sell micronet accounts back when EMAP offered gems like TMMC, Shades and the hamster wheel

"...and if we like you you'll gain access to the rest of the site."

Still no approval. *runs away crying*

gfreeman: if you feel foolish don't write like that.

Sorted.

amitk: What have you done to give us enough evidence to have an opinion?

Welcome to iamcal.com - tell us who you are in this topic and if we like you you'll gain access to the rest of the site.

it occurs to me that unless this topic is Pinned (or similar), newbies won't see it/think to find it, so there will in fact be no new blood on iamcal. and hence no watering down/distraction/re-direction of the personalities which drove cal to take down this site before.

incest. it's fun for a while, but doesn't necessarily take you anywhere you want to go.

um not funny
not funny at all

We'll have to keep this thread alive.

Like an iamcal Tamagotchi.

*waters*

The title suggests a Newbie topic October 2007 is overdue

nope - the monthly newbie thread is auto-magically created each month (oct's was broken, now fixed) and newbies are given a link to it from the discussions page and at the bottom of every thread, where the reply box is for approved members. duh

Good, Cal. :)

and newbies are given a link to it from the discussions page and at the bottom of every thread, where the reply box is for approved members.

nice

He really does think of everything.

/admires

No, he doesn't. I bet he doesn't know what I'm thinking now.