iamcal.com Since May 2000

• Happy new year!
• Newbie topic - May 2016
• Newbie topic - April 2016
• Newbie topic - March 2016
• Newbie topic - February 2016
• Newbie topic - January 2016
• Newbie topic - November 2015
• Newbie topic - August 2015
• Newbie topic - July 2015
• Newbie topic - May 2015
• Newbie topic - April 2015
• Newbie topic - March 2015
• Newbie topic - September 2014
• Newbie topic - December 2014
• Newbie topic - October 2014
• Newbie topic - August 2014
• Newbie topic - July 2014
• Newbie topic - June 2014
• Newbie topic - May 2014
• Hello!

www.flickr.com/photos/bees/...

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, Donuts.

Cal, what is FARM 3?

server farm

Lord. Sounds very matrix-like. *shudders*

"arrr, we do be avin a noice crahp o sarvars this year, oi reckons. throughput's comin up noicely, that it is.

ERE! YOU! GET ORFF MOI NETWURRK!"

I'm afraid talk Like A Pirate Day was a couple of weeks ago.

pirates are all cornish?

Yes

r

porting flickr over to sql on rails is going to take all day »

SQL on RAILS is an open-source framework that's optimized for language consolidation and breakneck collaboration

you wanna collaborate more, cal. that'd speed you up. it says so right there.

> gelaskins... sam brown

wot, no link? copypaste error, i suspect.

they do look well nifty. i love swinging DAIM but i suspect Robo would look brilliant in use across a web cafe.


EDIT: ignore link note. transient server oddity w/in exploding dog. i reclicked the link and got a quite different part of the site.

> George Lucas

oo i'd forgotten all about that, thanks for that. it's sheer genius, isn't it. right down to the little in-jokes re his student films' names.



my other fave george lucas short-vid:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdb...

*This post was deleted by the idiot subscriber.*

But the HP script is genius.

brill, innit?

>an excellent review of the orange box - portal is SO MUCH FUN

that's freaky, i blogged the same chap's AWESOME console comparo/review just last week

www.escapistmagazine.com/ar...

"the colors!"

Portal is fantastic. I just love those little Turrets that scream "Put me down!" when you pick them up.

remotely set the 'ready' message on networked HP printer using some perl. been playing with this in the office to nice effect

A long time ago in a galaxy far away, we discovered you could remotely change the display language on HP printers, so even though they were still showing 'Ready' or 'Processing job', or whatever, they were showing it in Sweidsh or Spanish. How we laughed when our users rang us on the helpdesk to tell us their printer was talking gibberish.

hahah nice one

the header on this site makes me hungry

Aw, it's about Bacon and they put little piggies next to it :(
Che, Reddy, don't look.

Che knows something he's not telling.

Haha i just posted in a new topic cos i didn't read this one first

It's making my eyes go funny.

hahhaa

good lord

Cal I think you're pregnant.

:D

that's the trouble with california-livin'. after a while, the relentless tide of berry smoothies goes straight through you.

i know that linking to lolcats is now against the law or something, but this is too good »

timing. i just saw this: LOLinater.
pretty standard text-munger
EXCEPT
look at what it does for the images on iamcal's front page (scroll down a bit)

LOVE the similarity of the image for what it did to cal's Prepare for Awesomeness photo! and the poignancy of Ed Floor wrings my blackened heart.

Hopefully its not random: DISCUSSION

but does jon lajoie have a song about frodo and lord of the rings?
and come from the most AWESOME city in the world?

>star wars soy sauce

anyone else think "oil change" when they saw the pics?




Open source bottle?
("Free" as in flowing, not as in beer.)

But now this tiny R2D2 can serve you Soy Sauce by your one-hand little move, leaning the R2 body a little to put appropriate Soy Sauce on Chinese or Japanese fried rice

To little move L2 on Korean fried rice would be to insult our honour and pour shame on your ancestors. Do not apply Korean fried rice.

Thank you for purchasing your R2 unit! We hope you will have many years of satisfaction from this machine.

For optimum output and reliability, it is necessary that you regularly service your R2 unit.

Care and Maintenance of your R2 Unit: (see: fig.8)
- Monthly: Oil Change.

Remove drain cap (L) from the obverse lateral sensor extrusion (R), using fingertip pressure only. Warning: application of high-tension tools or hammers may affect your unit's ability to react to its surroundings and reduce its effectiveness in combat conditions. Place the cap face up on a soft cloth (A).

Tilt the unit to approximately 45degrees using the wookie provided in your owner's maintenance kit (C), and allow the oil to drain into a basin (T). Please dispose of this waste thoughtfully and according to local regulations (S). Any solid items found in the waste should be removed and placed back in the unit's brain (G) via the Lagrange Point (L2). Any Korean fried rice should be disposed of according to the traditions of your ancestors (OBA).

Return your unit to an upright position, such as Justice of the Peace (Z) or Member of Parliament (HA).

Replace all filters and carefully fill to the line indicated on the hologram (OB1) using only space-grade oil. We recommend Jedi Brand Plot Device grade oil as a condition of their donation to the R2 Manufacturer's Discretionary Fund.

Replace drain cap and allow unit to sit for 10 minutes before restarting.

Please note: failure to switch off unit before commencing oil change will result in irreparable damage and necessitate purchase of a new unit. Thank you for following these instructions in order.

"men who look like old lesbians [via the hamster] » « 18:28 14/11/07 | permalink"

ha ha ha! I think they should add Rod Stewart.

Ooooh I remember Killer net. It was amazing!

weewarwox!

no country for old men is absolute genius. best movie i've seen in a long long time. i want to be anton chigurh when i grow up
You want Anton Chigurh you big gayer ;)

i'd never heard of the term pogrom until i was at the de young last weekend. learn something new every day

And what have you learned today?

I don't think I learned anything today. Except maybe that that cliche isn't true. Fuck. That's a catch-22.

brett graham is my new hero: brett corp, bringing solutions to people who need them when they need them on the day they needed them, after they've hired me.

OMG - this is worthy of the Doc at his lucid best. In particular, check out his news page.

That is great.

remember this?
iamcal.com/linklog/1184013060
> dwarf fortress looks kinda awesome in a nethack way [via js]

i just ran across THIS, which is bloody hilarious:

BoatMurdered -- Update 11 by StarkRavingMad

The new broker immediately endears himself to me by mandating the production of toy forges. I'm tempted to tell him that I mandate he go fuck himself, but I think better of it and just put in the work order for them.
...
We've got a little elephant issue happening down south. I'm starting to understand why the previous owner had a million of them in cages. One or two got pissed, and they killed someone, and now the dwarves are trying to get the items from the guys that died, and the elephants are just running wild over everyone. A couple of the elephants got caught in the remaining cage traps, but one or two got through.
[pic]
The brave military men of Boatmurdered assemble by the front gate, and they brave themselves for a rush at the mighty elephants.
[pic]
And it was about then when the fucking dwarven caravan arrived. I ordered the military to hold fast. Let the caravan guardsmen get themselves slaughtered by the elephants before we do.
[pic]
Which was also right about when a goblin thief jumped out and got clobbered by a stonefall trap
[pic]
So the merchants arrive to see blood and vomit everywhere, us hauling corpses en masse to the graveyard, a couple rampaging elephants
[pic]
WELCOME TO FUCKING BOATMURDERED!
[pic]
Hope you like miasma!

...
Meanwhile, one of my clothesmakers made about the awesomest shirt ever.

it's like a "consequences" story, but done in dwarffortress, with people taking turns running the show.
i strongly recommend you read the 10second intro to dwarffortress they give, with piccies explaining how to read the pics, BEFORE you read the BoatMurdered thread
fromearth.net/LetsPlay/Boat...

The heavy downward slide that would come to define Boatmurdered seems to have begun during StarkRavingMad's rule, with the utterly epic "Elephant War". Historians seem to agree that the insanity surrounding Boatmurdered began to increase almost exponentially from that point forward.

i had a 5min crack at DF when cal first linked it, and i thought: meh. a rogue-alike with a million deep-options. tedious. bin.

but the BoatMurder thing made me realise there was more to it so i had a poke around on t'web.

holy FUCK, that's an impressive game!! the guy who wrote it is a fucking GENIUS!! it's basically striving towards real-life in code. well, in a sense.
perhaps: story-telling in code would be a better way of putting it.
consider that the AI is so clever and so bottom-up that you can turn it into ElfFortress or KoboldFortress just by tweaking one of the config files. it's actually 3D(ish). that "blood and vomit" reference is real, a real dwarf-affecting game part. people are creating engineering/architecture-works in it. you can get easier-to-read charsets for it:

check out the visualiser someone wrote for it, and what people have built in the game:
www.bay12games.com/cgi-loca...
(lost the kick-arse link -- sorry)

i mean, the guy's devel .plan is based around story arcs and human interrelationship dynamics, with the masses of implied functionality just pouring off the back of them.
www.bay12games.com/dwarves/...
www.bay12games.com/dwarves/...
i mean, his whole attitude is "who cares what it costs [me], i'm trying to hit a BEHAVIOUR" -- like atkinson, like hertzfeld, like zawinsky.
i mean, one of his self-described bugs is:

"Bug 43 (open, dwarf mode:creatures):

* children in bags made copies of themselves"

look at his log of ideas coming off stories, at how micro they are...
this boy is SOLIDLY first-tier, the kinda chap who'd slowly ask, puzzledly, "why would you only deal lightning with one hand?"

one major reason for using ASCII-only is that is a key tactic for keeping the FRAMERATE up!! framerate! on freaking ascii!!

forums.somethingawful.com/s...

Ibesim Omshit Oram, "Sugarbread the Suffering of Worlds"

This is a cookie. All craftdwarfship is of the highest quality. This object menaces with spikes of bread.
On the item is an image of an elephant and a dwarf. The elephant is striking down the dwarf.

dubiousquality.blogspot.com...
"I think I'm playing the Game of the Year."

dubiousquality.blogspot.com...
"Now there is a third, one of the most complex and demanding games I've ever played. It has infinite variation, the learning curve is tremendously difficult, and the level of world detail is absolutely unparalleled.

The game is Dwarf Fortress, and it is the most unlikely great game I've ever played.

Think Space Rangers 2 came out nowhere? The graphics in this game are ASCII. In 2006, that qualifies as out of nowhere. It's in alpha (although it's already far more stable and complete than most commercial releases I've played this year). And it's free.

It's also one of the most imaginative, multi-layered, detailed gaming worlds I've ever seen.
...
I haven't even touched adventure mode yet, because fortress mode is so incredible that I can't stop playing. As far as fortress mode goes, take every detail that was mentioned in the description and multiply it by ten. It's off the charts."

zzz

Think Space Rangers 2 came out nowhere? As far as fortress mode goes, take every detail that was mentioned in the description and multiply it by ten. In 2006, that qualifies as out of nowhere. The graphics in this game are ASCII. It's off the charts.

best. ad. EVAH.

bacoen.
youtube.com/watch?v=h2FDYAc...

smokin'!

wow, my book is now in chinese.....

To me, it always was.

How long before it is translated into LOLCats?

www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24281329

We can increase site speed and efficiency for you by copying your user information (which may include sensitive data) to one of our servers in .
...
Create a copy. Click this button to optimize performance. By doing so, you permit Yahoo! to process and duplicate your personal information on servers located in .
Don't create a copy. Click this button if you do not wish to have your personal information copied to servers located in . You can still use our service, though the site may not perform optimally.

i'm not in   so i chose not to copy my information there in case i was later locked out of .

"that's the second job ad i've seen lately with reading my book as a requirement. that's pretty awesome » « "

That is pretty awesome :) Good for you, Cal.

The only reason he's found two job ads with his book mentioned is because he spends at least 13 hours of each day vanity searching on Google. ;)

No but seriously it must be cool. Having it translated must be pretty awesome too.

I thought Cal owned Google, by now

cal IS google. he is the internets

Does that mean that you can download him?

What sort of computer do I need to run him?

a 486 DX with 8Mb RAM

Running MS-DOS 5.0

*sigh* That was my first computer.
/nostalgic

Damn, it I do not have that sort of computer, that is too expensive, next you will be telling me that he needs a gig of harddisk space

A WHOLE GIG! :O

I know Syl that is just rediculous

Who other then rich people like Bill Gates has a computer that powerful

oh and CaL

does anyone know of any good software for creating graphs like this?
pc, mac or web based - whatever » «

Why not ask shashashasha

no country for old men is absolute genius. best movie i've seen in a long long time. i want to be anton chigurh when i grow up
You want Anton Chigurh you big gayer ;)

I watched No Country For Old Men last night and I can't understand why Cal wants to be merciless killer when he grows up.

some countries have polymer bank notes. seems pretty cool. anyone handled them?

yeah, all australia's banknotes have been polymer for about 15 years.
the early ones sucked arse: wouldn't fold usefully, and would tear like plastic (ie, a tiny split = 2 half bills)

but the new stuff is not so bad.

still not as good as paper for end-users though. a folded note in a cloth pocket can slip itself out.

this movable type documentary video is kinda awesome. love the page cutting machine »

if you like that, reckon you'll love this:

archive.org/details/Typeset...

it's a 1960 tutorial for typesetters on linotype, an introduction to their machine. it's designed for non-technical people, so it's kinda amazing rather than geeky. rube goldberg stuff.

seeing justification happen perfectly just by pushing the spaces is a bit wonderful by itself. latex 0.1, done with a stroke of genius and turning the apparently-simplest part of the page (spaces) into little mini-machines in their own right. the sheer elegance of the design AND the outcome -- 19th century Woz at work.

(gotta love the "FOUR magazines!" bit too)


plus also: every writer of technical documentation should be sat down with their eyes pinned open clockwork-orange-stylee and told "see? see!? THIS is how it should be done! complexity made understandable and wonderful not boring."

50 megapixels is just getting willy

Hahahah =]

miss celania says bacon is all down to this chap:
scalzi.com/whatever/?p=980

sept 2006? what do you guys reckon?

answer: not a lot

SF has Cal cars!

THEY don't do THIS

sal is all grown up. not like the old days

>if fonts were people, courier new would be a jerk

didn't fonts jump the shark?


e.g. Capital Punishment

Bloody tuneup needs to make it clear that it works with iTunes, not as a stand-alone thing.

the girl effect has beautiful typography. oh, and also implies that men are what is wrong with the world. awesome

It's over simplistic though. A girl with a cow suddenly transforms into a business woman?? If only it was that easy, especially in countries where women are suppressed and prevented from getting any education. I always like reading the comments on this kind of video; lots of knuckle draggers, haters, and loonies combined with a few trying to make valid points.

I thought they were saying a girl with a business turned into a cow?

and one more - the michel gondry chemical brothers video
, which has some interesting visual effects

Dude, where have you been, this is like ancient. Even I am familiar with it.

It is shit-hot, though.

BEST

PHOTO

EVAR



See the original, courtesy of Mr Coates, here

Is that Cal?

Yes.

from the linklog "in the best news since, err, ever, you can get your own @hellokitty.com email address at sanrio town"

lol Cal, reddy has had a hellokitty.com address ever since we've known her!

omfg - tilt shifted video is so freaking awesome. tiny fake people! [via mr burka]

tamarama beach rocks. local name for it: "Glamourama Beach". fulla babes. next time you're on bondi beach, look out to sea, then look right and see the high-cliffed headland walling off what most tourists and locals (ie, non-australians) consider sydney's bestest beach. walk right and onto the path leading up and around it. pause for a small beer at the RSL perched surreally halfway up the cliff and halfway around, and spend a jaw-dropped 15mins looking at the ocean and the view. then proceed round the headland and down and around and onto the beach. observe the bodies you'd hoped to see when you came to sydney (works for both men and women).

almost makes sydney worthwhile.

hellokitty mail is the best
I had a guy from a call centre compliment me "on my wicked choice of email"

Miracle Berries sound amazing with a capital !!!!! I've got to source some in the UK and test them with the cheapest, vilest, strongest booze I can find.

I've had the miracle berry discussion a couple of times recently - I well want to try some. And then eat a big stack of lemons.

Growing them yourself seems the cheapest way of getting some in the uk - all you need to do is sort out some really alkaline soil...

So I start talking about Miracle Berries in the office and everyone pipes up that they're Goji Berries. Off to Holland and Barratt I trot to pick me up some. I come back excited by what my lemon, lime and orange purchases were going to taste like.... its not bloody Goji Berries. Idiot coworkers.

Still looking for a London stockist.

Saki Food Emporium on West Smithfield apparently does them. I'm gonna pop by on my way home. More updates to come.

Wow. This is great. Keep me in the loop.

Although be aware: "Additionally, its effects might be considered dangerous because while Miraculin does change the perception of taste, it does not change the food's chemistry. Therefore, the mouth is still vulnerable to the high acidity of some foods, such as lemon juice, which may result in oral ulcers if eaten in large quantities."

I love that you're on a mission :D

I got some! Fucking aces! My tongue's gonna be off its tits tonight! Wooooooooo!

It's really quite bizarre. I tested the lemon, lime and orange out before hand and indeed they were not all that enjoyable to taste (well the orange was alright I guess. Boring). The lime was particularly sharp. But now! WOW! They're deliciously sweet. There's still a hint of sourness and you can feel the acidity but they're lovely. The orange tastes weird in a good way. Time to buy some vino!

I think it's starting to wear off now. Sour skittles dont taste like regular skittles and the lime is harsh again. I have an ultimate test sitting in the freezer for it - one dusty can of Diamond White, chilling down nicely. I shall let my mouth calm down a bit before hitting it again later.

I didnt hit the Diamond White last night, folks. I felt a bit sick as I am one to do after eating sweet stuff. I'll thaw it out and continue the adventure tonight. I may buy some vinegar as well.

vinegar hahaha nice
don't forget that car battery as well

... because that is how superheroes start

and cars

"writercutters looks pretty awesome"

wristcutters?

and yeah it looks great :)

Yeah, whatever, back to me... Diamond White tastes like Lambrini. I think Lambrini works out cheaper by vol, like the chicks that drink it.

c'mon man. for SERIOUS miracleberry costcutting manoeuvres: what does meths taste like?

Surely Sul found that out a long time ago.

Things to try:

- vermouth (what Martin Brody's wife drinks in 'Jaws'
what does the Stella taste like?

actually, wow. You got to get some of this: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denat...

Flickr (or something) me an address and I'll get a couple of tabs sent down for your own experimental greatness. Assuming they arrive, of course. I've heard posties are bang on the disco biscuits and they're likely to get gobbled down soon after I drop them in the post box.

Also: "what Martin Brody's wife drinks in 'Jaws'" - Okay, thanks for that fact.

Oh and Stella tastes normal as far as I can tell. I had infested my tongue with alot of strong flavours before drinking any on the miracle berries however so its hard to tell.

vermouth rocks. why would you need miracle berries?

Never been a fan of the Rosso, to be honest. My version of "Sal's Summer Serenade" would be more along the lines of:

Lots of ice
Lots of vermouth (extra dry)
Splash of gin (optional but great)
Half a lemon (chopped up)

Sul: Really? Wow! That sounds great!

It's not Ellen Brody's normal drink - she usually goes for a Rye and Ginger, which is why Martin is so surprised when she requests a Vermouth. It's possibly a foreshadow/precursor to her getting it on with Matt Hooper, the young Oceanologist from Woods Hole. I've no idea why Stevie S left all that out of the film.

"An anecdote relates how one of the researchers at Atomergic Chemetals Corp. in Plainview, New York, went home without realising that he had a tiny trace of denatonium saccharide on the outside of his lip. When he kissed his wife, she almost vomited."

I've tried, but I can't get excited about that.

you no longer get the horn from a woman vomiting, wh?

face it -- you're getting old

I have that "Republicans for Voldemort" t-shirt. I think mine's a darker colour, though.

you no longer get the horn from a woman vomiting, wh?

Not unless she's blowing me at the time.

diskview is a neat windows app that visualizes folder usage. helped me find the 8GB of useless test video files hanging around

for mac:
grandperspectiv.sourceforge...
www.derlien.com


"JkDefragGUI" -- irrelevant for mac since its darwin auto-defrags ALL files over 20mb on Open, before handing control back to the caller. god help anyone wanting to run a high-performance server on os x.

grow tower is infuriating. has anyone solved it?

Solved it? After one quick look I don't even understand it. :(

(I suk @ teh internet)

I've done it - take a look at the link below if you want the solution.

solution

the history of the UK's 999 service is pretty interesting

It is quite interesting. There should be questions on QI about it.