Discussion » Newbie topic - August 2011

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Posted by cal, around 1st August 2011:
 
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Posted by sdkljfndsjkln, around 3rd August 2011:
 
Dehe I was, duuhhhh, 50 years old, uh uh uh uh, gettigg close t' 51, mindigg my own bidness, fiteigg de good fite, a 'bit obehwebuhite' but gettigg by. Basical, like almost ebehyone in dat posishun, blide ignorigg all the, ERRRR, signs 'n warniggs.
Den one ebenigg in Octobeh I find myself in a car smash, (my fault), trappid in the, uh, the wreckage, uh uh uh, wid what looks like smoke comigg up from undeh de bonnet.... Suspeckigg dis meant fire on the, uh, the way, I expehiessd dat 'momin' when you dink it may webuhll be all obeh, 'n den dink "Webuhll what was dat all bou', 'n was it word it, duh...uh...?, duh...uh...?"
Nodigg caught fire, uh uh uh, the, uh uh uh, firemen cut me out, uh, 'n I ackual walkid to de ambulass, webuhnt t' A & E, was not admitted, uh uh uh uh, 'n endid back at home dat same nite. Duh.A narrow escape dat left me dinkigg................
In the, uh uh uh, final analysis, duuhhhh, de result of the, duh uhh, thinkigg was t' decide dat I had effeckibe ackirid a 'seconb chass', 'n dat I had betteh get dis one rite, dehe was no reason t' dink I mite ebeh get anodeh one! Huh huh!

De firss step was t' check what I ackual webuhighid – not proud t' find it was obeh 27½ stone (or 386 pounds, duuhhhh, or 175 kilos), so Stage 1 wudd habe t' be t' sort dat out pronto. Now many years ago I had a brush wid de Cambrije Diet, uh, short tehm gains, duuhhhh, but horriggle eatigg, follid soon by not beigg aggle t' stomach it any more, uh uh uh, return t' usual food, uh uh uh uh, end up puttigg on more webuhite dan I lost. An all too familiar fayree tale wid dese sorts of ‘crash diets’ – you end up crashigg………
So next decishun was dat dis cudd NOT be done usigg fad diets, duuhhhh, propriet ‘special meals’, meal altehnatibes or anydigg like dat, GEEEHEEHEEE.If dis was t' stick, it had t' be by changigg t' a type of eatigg dat I was happy t' libe wid f' de rest of my life.
Den I met an old friend who told me bou' one of his mates who had been giben a type of tagglet by his Doctor dat webuhre helpigg him lose webuhite. Now I didn’t want t' resort t' diet suppressants or anydigg like dat, uh, 'n cehtain not surgehy like gastric bands, duuhhhh, but I dought it mite be word at least findigg out what dese webuhre all bou'. So I saw my own Doc, who explainid dat dese tagglets (callid Xenical) webuhre sip a way of stoppigg de ‘gut’ from absorbigg alot of de ‘fat’ in your diet. GEE danks.Webuh decidid to gibe dem a try, aldough he did warn me bou' cehtain side effecks……. DOIHH!Basical, when dat fat was ‘not absorbed’ it decidid from time t' time dat it needid to find an ‘emehgency exit’ in a hurry…neid I say more! Huh huh!! Doihh, COOL!! Doihh, COOL! Dis puts many peoble off from usigg dem, but I took de altehnatibe approach. It seemid to me dat what was takigg de ‘emehgency exit’ was not entire bleasant in nature – 'n it was probab an extreme good digg dat it was no longeh beigg absorbed. So I decidid dat de best cusse of ackion was t' change my diet until dehe was as little as posstiggle of dis t' be rebuhjecked, uh uh uh uh, 'n effeckibe usid the, duh uhh, tagglets t' show whedeh dis was beigg successful. When it obbious was in the, uh, end, uh uh uh uh, I stoppid usigg the, duh uhh, tagglets cuz I no longeh needid to – dey had nodigg t' work on! Doihh, COOL!
By now I had cut out snacks, duuhhhh, crisps etc; cut rite down on chocolate; stayid out of any ‘fast food’ outlets; cut out ‘ready meals’ 'n gone obeh whehebeh posstiggle t' fresh food 'n begetaggles, duuhhhh, 'n more fruit. (More details in de ' Duh, how I do it now ' pages, duuhhhh, 'n in de ‘Eatigg’ seckion of WEIGHT.) De webuhite startid to shiff behy kick at firss, on to be expecked as dehe was so much 'to spare'...
Posted by sdkljfndsjkln, around 8th August 2011:
 
DEHE aH WERE, RIGHT, DUUHHHH, 5O YEARS OLD, UH UH UH UH, DIGT1GG CLOSE T' 51, MIUNDIGG ME OWN BIDN3SS, RIGH,T FITEIGG d3 RIHGT BAAA4D FITE, SOME "BIT OBEHWEBUHITE BUT DIGTIGG BY... sla pmah for!!!!!!!11~~~~~~ OLOLO~~~ BASICAL, IRGHT, 7IEKS MOS" EBEHYONE IN DAT POSISHUN, BLID3 IGNOIGG AL LD3, RIGHT, ARRRR, SIGNS NWARIGGS. lolololololololo!!!!!!!!!!!1~ AHCK YoUUUUUuU
DENO NE EBEN1GG IN OCTTOBEH AH' FUIN DEMASELF IN S0ME CAR SMASH, (MY FUALT), TRAPPID IJ DE, RIGHT,U H, DE WRERX0RAGWE, UHH UH UH, WID WOT "AVE SOME LOOKZ LCIKS SMNOKE COMIGG DOWN FUNM UNDEH DE BONNeT!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 M AN!!!!!!!!!!!! ,,, !!!!!!!!!~~~ , In1t!?!?!? loloolololololool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~ come 2 my ftp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~ suspeX0rigg dis mea|\|t fire on de, uh, right, de Bledein' way, ah "speheisad dat 'moimn' we|\| ya dink it may webuhll be all boeH, n den fdInk 'webuhll owT wuz dqat all vb0u", n \/\/uz iy wod it, riighT, duh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~ LOP S0ME BOOOGE1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ocme 2 my ftp. ahck thee pla|\|net !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~~~~ ~~ UH, lop Som boOgei!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~~~ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~ !?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?? , DUH 7op some boogei!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 THEIR IS A RATIO DONT RIP3 /\/\E OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~ !!!!!!!!!!11~~ OLOL~~~ uh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~ OLOLOLOLOLOLOLO lOp s0me boogro... !!!!!!!!!!!!!11 . ?!?? OOLOLOOLOLOLOOLLO~~~~~ i own joo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~~~~~ OOLOL~~~
nodigg caufhT f1re, right, uhh uh uh, right,, ffe, right, uh uh uh, right, fireme|\| cut me 0ut, right, uh, right, "n ah aX0rual awlKid ta de amgulass, webuhnt t" A & e, Right, wuz ont amditted, uh uh uh uh, right, 'n endun did ahmma" and t4X0r at ome dat sAme nite/ DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lololol~ LOP SOME BOOGEI.. UR LAME!!!!!~~~~~ a narorw eSclape Dat left me dinikgg whAt it is, mama!!!!!!!1~~~ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~~ .. bcause u sXu0r!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~~~ hAX0r the plannat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~ COJ3 2 MY FTP ~~~~~ olololololololololol~~ .. LOLOLOLOOO~~ !!!!!!!!!!~~~~ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 . !!!!!!!!!11~~ lolol~ .. I OWN JOO BECAUSAEE YOU SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 / !!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!111~~~~ lololololololololol~~
in fe, rigHT, uh uh uh, final analysiS, duuhhhh, der esult uh de, duh uhh ,right, ffnkigg wuz t decid3 dat Ah" ad effeX0ibe aX0ririd some secOnb chass', rigHt, "||d at ah' ad betteh copo dzi 0ne riTe, deh3 wUz no r3asom t dink Ah' mit3 ebeh c0p anodeh one!!!!!!!!!1~~~ rgiht on!!!!!!!!!!!!1 LOLOLOLLOLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~~~~ "HU "UH!!!!!!11~~ right oN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~ honest guv!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~ righto nn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~

de fiorss step \\////\\////uz t' ch3X0r ow tAh" AX0rU4l w2ebuhigh1d – n0t pproud t fi||d it uwz obeh 27½ stone (o" 38^ poudnz, right, sdyuuhhhhh, i" 175 k,i7os), sos satge 1w ud d'abe " tbe t sot sdaT out pronto s coo" ,bro~~~~~~ cO blimey guv, e0uld ah' leI t'ya"!???!?!?!? onqw manyy ears ga0 ah 'ad some Brus hwid de cambrije deit, uh, sho't tehm gains, right, duuhhhh, btu "origgl3 eatigg, foiklid soon by not b1egg gagle t stomcah it any m0'e, uh uh uh, rerurn t usual fooode, uh uh uh uh, end d0wn puttigg on mo"e Webuhite dan ah lkost ,inti????????????????? LOLLOLOLOLOLO!!!!!!!!!111 naall too fam7iar fsYfree tale wid dease so"tz uh ‘crash deits’ – ya end do\\////\\////n crash1gg………
sos next d3cishun wuz dat dis cudd Not be done usigg fad deit,s duuhhhh, propreit ‘Special meals’, meal a7twhnatibes o' anydgig liekz dat, r1ht, geeeheehe3e!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~ if dis wzu T sTiX0r, it "ad t" be by changigg t Some tpye uh EatiGg dat ah' wwere 'appy t lib ewid f" dwe r3st ui hm3 ilfe
den ah m3t an ole muX0ra' 'oo r0lD me bou' one u his m8z "oo ad been giben som3 type u htagglet by "iz DicTo"d ta webuhre "e7piogg 'im lose webuhite~~~~~ olol jow ah" dUn dodn’t wAnts' t reso"t tdieT sUppressqts o"a nydigg lieks dat, uh, 'n cethain n0t sugr3hyy lieksg astrci bands,, Duuhhhh, but 4h' dought it mit3 be wo"d at lesat fimndigg out wot edase webuhr eall boiu"!!!!!!!!!!11~ SO'Z I SEEN MAH' OW|| DOC,R IGTH, 'OO ESPLAINID ADT DASE TAGGLTs (CALLID X3NICAL)) WEBUHRE SIP SOM3 WAY UH PUT DA DAMN MOX0REZ O||PIGG DE ‘GuT’F UM ABSO"BIG SOME BIT UOH DE ‘FAT’ IN YO" DEIT MA~ Ngeed aknz.. LOLOLOOOOLOLOOLO WzEBUH DEDICDNU DID TA' GUIBE DEM SoME GO, ALODUGH 'E DUN dID WaR NMEBOU" CEHT41|| SIDE 3FFEX0rS……, INIT!?!??!?!?!? LOLOLOL~~ HAX0R YOUUUUUUU~~~~~~~ doihh!!!!!!!11~~ rigjt on~~~ basica7, wen dat fat wuz ‘n0t abso"Bed’ it decidunj d1d fum time t" time Dat it Needun ddi ta' find asn ‘emehgeNcy "esit’ in an 'urry…nied ah say mo'e!!!!!!!!11 riggh ton!!!!!11~~~~ OI!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~~ Right on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~ uh uh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~~~~~ right 0n!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~ h0nest gu/!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~~~~ OLOLOOLOLOLOLO preaCh it loud, bruddah~~ OLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~~~~~~ OI!!!!!!!11 Right on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! doihh, right, 733t!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~~~ RIGHT 0N!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~ u r lAme irght~ REACHI T LOUD, BBRUDDH!!!!!!!!!!!111~ LOOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!! right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~ right on!!!!!!!!11~~~ doiHh, right, 733t!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 Right on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~ oi~ right on!!!!!!!!111~~~~~~~ DIZ PUTSM AnY PEOBLE 0FF FUM US1GG DEM, RRIGhT, BUT AHH" TOOK DE LTEHJNAITBE APPORACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~ L0P SOME BOOGEI IT SEEM1D TA'M 3 DAT WOT WUZ ATKIGFG dE ‘E//EWHGENCY "ESIT’ WUZ NOT ENTIRE BLASA||T IN NATURE – 'N IT WUZ PROBAB AN ETSRME BAAAAD DIGG DAT IT wUZ NO LONGEH IEGFG ABBSO'BED... LOLOLOLLOLOLOOOLOLO~~~~ HACK YOUUUUUUU becaux u r lame sOz 1 d3cidun did sat der //ae west cusse uhaX)rion wuz t' chang em3 dit untIl dehe wUz az wee As posstiggle uh Dis t' be rebuhjeX0red, uh uh Uh uh, 'mn effeXr01be suid de, duh uhh, tagglets t" show wdeeh d1z wuZ biegg successful, OLOLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~~ wen itr obbious wwuz in de, uh, end, uh uh uh uh irghT, ah put da dma m0X0rz onpi usiggf dee, rigth, Duh uhh, Taggl3tz cuz 4h" no lo||geh nw3dun did ta – dey "ad nodigg t wok on!!!!!!!!!1~~ RIGGHT ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~~~~ s truD!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~~~~ rigjt on!!!!!111~~~~~~ DOIHJ, 733T!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~ righht onn!!!!!11
by now ah ad cut out snaXr0s, duuhhhh, crisps etc; cut r1te dhano nn dchocol8; stayiud out uh any ‘F4st food’ ouTLets; cut out ‘ready m3als’ 'n fgone 0beh wehebeh posstigglE t" frehs f0od 'n begetaggleZ, duuhhhh, "nm 0"e fruit~~~~~~~ LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~~ man!!!!!11~~~~~~ (mo" edetailzin d3 ' duh, how a' hd0 it now ' p4ges, duuhhhh, "n 1nm de ‘eatigg’ seX0rion uh wieght!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~~ ) d3 webuhiutE startoid ta" shiff behy kiX0r at firss, no ta' be 3speX0red as dehe wuz s0S much to srp".. LOLOLOLOO!!!!!!!!!!!!11~ ololl ~~~~~~ llolo....
Posted by isabel7, around 14th August 2011:
 
What on earth does this mean.
Diet for Gerd and Heartburn
CCGs.info
Posted by frimousse, around September 2011:
 
I think it means he's retarded...
my vacation site