iamcal.com Since May 2000

• Happy new year!
• Newbie topic - May 2016
• Newbie topic - April 2016
• Newbie topic - March 2016
• Newbie topic - February 2016
• Newbie topic - January 2016
• Newbie topic - November 2015
• Newbie topic - August 2015
• Newbie topic - July 2015
• Newbie topic - May 2015
• Newbie topic - April 2015
• Newbie topic - March 2015
• Newbie topic - September 2014
• Newbie topic - December 2014
• Newbie topic - October 2014
• Newbie topic - August 2014
• Newbie topic - July 2014
• Newbie topic - June 2014
• Newbie topic - May 2014
• Hello!

Here's a new game, I'll give it a name.
Post's That Must Ryhme, it'll catch on in time.
Bust your words, tools, but remember the rules:
To play in this game, keep the topic the same!

what topic to use? - you've got me confused

I'm also confused, you should be abused

i was confused, but now i'm amused

I'd be amused, but i think im being used

Topic to use? Someone must choose!

But if i choose, i may just lose

And if you lose, Chris, we will all take this piss.

Then take the piss, To the victor, A kiss

The topic set down,
So let go that frown.
We must all rip the piss,
Out of our good friend here, Chris!

Why the mockery?
Its all such a lottery
I shall pass the buck,
I couldn't honestly give a ****

Can't give a fuck? That's a bit silly!
Is that because no girl has ever seen your willy?

Who says i said fuck?
It could have been cook
or book
or truck
i guess it was just luck

Your rhymes they are 'Whack',
You ain't cutting no slack,
It would be more sweet,
If you joined us 'l33t'.

I'd like to be l33t
that would be a treat
but i'm not in your class
so ill give it a pass

Why are we single?
No other will mingle?
Two's not enough,
And it isn't that tough...

I like being single
It gives me a tingle
A new woman for me?
Ill just wait and see

It must be Tricky,
To rock a rhyme,
To rock a rhyme,
That's right on time.
It's TRICKY!
TRICKY, TRICKY, TRICKY!

oh my god what the fuck is all this,
be back in a minute i really need a piss!

On the subject of piss
no more mentions of chris
Im drinking my coke
and then going for a smoke

Oh no, Mr Chris, you can't get away!
The topic is chosen; it's now here to stay.
In a mockery of this man, we must all now take part
But we don't really mean it, please don't take it to heart!

The gauntlet is cast
Mocking chris is here to last
feel free to give me hell
at the iamcal party ill take it all out on ell

aah Chris; at the christmas party you will see;
the only dueler there present left alive shall be me!
For I shall take you on, and fight to the last breath,
in a battle of intellect, I'll Mallets-Mallet you to death.

Hey Chris you play Strike,
What Clan are you in?
Come join my one,
For we often win =]

**Warning - Site Plays Music**

i love chris's profile - about netball players
and here i was, thinking you were all gayers

Ell,

At the party i'll be
To give you slappings times three
for in the battle of poem
There's nothing im not knowin'

Squirrell,

A counter-striker i am
on dial-up or Lan
On joining clans your out of luck
for unfortunately, i suck

Cal,

On the subject of gay
im just not made that way
so your just out of luck
no chance for a ****

Re Chris's profile, I clicked on the link;
What do I see? He's ripped off mine, I think...

I am guilty of the charge
Im a thief writ large
Lots of other idea's too
Its not just you

Shock!

Chris mark 2,
what will you do?
to beat me, you must use your head.
If your only arsenal is that,
to plagairise Matt,
then I'll fight him instead. =P

Its a problem young one
But the battle is won
For plagarise i can spell
Much better than you ell

As vodka my sharp wit laments
upsetting post, I make less sense...
In embarressment, I might well die
for adding in that extra "i"

edit: argh! My spellink fails, oh no, abase!
I have again myself disgraced!

Vodka dulls wit it is so
Something that i well know
But i can also spell embarrassment
Get ready for more harrassment

whilst ell can't spell,
and we all know this well,
we should also know this:
the topic is "pay out chris",
but alas, something's amiss,
and now we must remedy this -
none should be discussing ell,
so back to chris - FATBOY, YOU SMELL!
:oP

Woken too early by the phone
I sleepily surf the net alone
Fatboy and smell are the words
I currently get from you turds
Usually i'd find it a lark
But the words are indeed close to the mark!

Work time is near,
It's Friday, no fear.
But we must mock -
Chris! He sucks cock!

Work i fear not
For no job have i got
But why do you question my morality?
Are you all afraid of your homosexuality?

What is this I see?
No posting from me
Well I'll give it go
You're all rhyming ho's!
Now wasn't that easy?

I'm a bit late joining but i just had lunch,
back to work now, back to the crunch.
i'm getting the hang of this rhyming lark,
now back to work, not doing tests on the spark...

We haven't done this for a while,
I remember it being a trial,
But lets bring it back,
see if we've still got the knack,
I think rosie has a lovely ****

smile?

it's a limerick, right? ;)

Well its not 'Back'

(although she certainly has a lovely back)

backpeddle backpeddle

Rhyming eh? At that, I'm shit.
Just as well I have no clit.

I could start to quote a Shamen Song
but I fear it's far too long
and all you peeps might get bored
and around your neck might sling a cord

Smile?
If it's not that, he'll have to run a mile

I'll have a go at a rhyme,
My **** is covered in slime.

Smile? Shit, that sounds crazy
you dont sound very much like a lady

Its good to see rosie go for broke.
Some people think rhyming's a joke.
As far as i'm concerned they can all croak.
**** this i'm off for a smoke.

I wish I could be arsed to do this at all,
but fuck it, I'll just sit here and scratch my left ball.

Victor, is your mind strangly infected?
There was no need for the post to be resurected.

But if we Gangsta rhyme, that would be all right,
Mother fucker, mother fucker, mother fucker, ai'i?

I need a poo,
do you need one too?

I need a wee,
Is it just me?

It appears its just you
I think that is true
Last week i had the flu
I want to go to chester zoo
maybe there's a kangaroo
or maybe there's two
I don't really have a clue
Woo!

I've been for a pony
I've just had a crap.
It needed to happen,
Incase of mishap.

most rappers rhymes aren't worth alot,
cause the people who write them have got less brains than the presidents got,
but eminem kicks ass
he's really a pro
cause he beats the rest and steals the show.

like he says ,do exactly as he does
cause he hates politicians as well as the fuzz,
he's got brains like promethius
he's a real genius
gets paid, lucky bastard, to rhyme and cuss.

SO, I rhyme about a rapper
not going and sitting on the crapper,
Not scratching my balls
Cause I burn the shit up
just like a skinny Jabba the Hut

RESPECT!

"he's a real genius."
Uh like what-ever
(why do we even,
have that lever)"

handbags
glad rags
threats of toast
these are the things
I like the most

Prometheus wasnt a genius he was a bloody thief. Fire was where it all went wrong for us monkeys if you ask me.

hey silly bitches,
go and see what the title sez,
it demands posts that must rhyme -
no exceptions, anytime!
so if you don't edit your post
and make it rhyme, then you're toast.

so now, i think, i'll lament about my state,
here's the one time when my location isn't great -
at night while you're sleeping, or having some fun,
i'm here at cal.com, where it's empty - there's no one!
for your nighttime is my day, and your day is my night,
which gives me delayed exposure to any post, joke or fight!

so i went home, from a long day at work,
and josh wank came online - and you all said: "what a jerk!"
before too long, you'd ensured his departure,
in fact, he was gone when i returned the day after.
i know i didn't miss much, but still, i would like
to have a turn toasting him, and say "get on yer bike!"

so this poor aussie is left a day behind,
although in the big picture, i don't really mind,
for i'm proud of my country, and as everybody knows:
australia rocks - and the uk just blows!

=D

some come here to sit and think
some come here to Sh** and stink
some come here to scratch their balls
and read the writing on the boards

some go to oz to escape it all
some go to oz to see bridges tall
I'd go round the the other side of the earth
if it gave me the chance to Sh** on Perth

such silliness are these petty rhymes
worst than a piss-warm Corona missing a lime
missing the meaning, structure and syntax
just words without moxy leaving no impacts

where’s the appeal or merit in such empty verse
lines like these bring a vowed silent Buddhist to curse
these lyrics or ballads lack reason and sense
full of weak alliteration and contrasting tense

poor rhymesters who lack a flow
who mock poetry just for show
pray for talent, work for skill and discover your muse
stop the ill rhymes it’s just poetry abuse

I'm a poet and I know it.

a stellar first post, without a doubt,
leaving all previous poems in its wake,
with meter and rhyme that holds such clout,
it's definitely a solid pisstake.

but re-read your post, and read it right through,
and look past your first stanza of gold,
the beer reference is great - this much is true,
but from there, it's quite base if all's told.

to belittle our rhymes, yours must be unflawed,
but that's a test it shall surely never pass,
you think that a buddhist would at your words applaud?
i could see him bid you shove it up your ---.

your last verse would apply to none better than you,
for your pretence, there is no excuse,
it reads as rough as sandpaper, through and through,
and how on earth do YOU pronounce 'abuse'?

a buuuze
to rhyme with muuuze

rather than abuse rhyme with yooou se

chandler dear friend,
the "ooze" or "oose" at the end,
depends on it's use,
as a noun - it's abuse!

as a verb it's abuuuze,
just as it is with excuuuuze.
this english lesson i shall finish,
before you start to snoooze!

=D

Please, now people, this has got to stop!
Who the hell put this thread back at the top?

its to early to rhyme
just look at the time
I think I'll wait til ten
before rhyming again

man im the best rapper and im only 13 years old
im the rap game CEO
i got people diein ta come ta my shows
yellin out man the freestyle prince is flow
im the flow
u already kno
i got tons of fans but we all got foes
i never stop im always on the go

i can only be me
cuz me is all i can be
but all i can be is the tightes emcee
dont u agree

man they call me simon cuz chicks always do what i say
they call me weed man cuz im always blowin on hay
it doesnt matter cuz ill take u whether u coem form ova therre or from that way
so not what u wanna say
man ill knock u out in the first round liek ray

u flashin ur air force ones
while im flashin my air force guns
cuz the only nine u got is a 5 dollar bill and 4 ones
man i gotta whole lotta somethin and u got none

my ryhmes will live through every decade
i clean yall up with cascade
cuz im bout ta invade
and rade
ill rip ur arm off and slit ur throat with ur own shoulder blade
im every race and every shade

u kno im ganna back clips
and im always flashin my chips
man ur so gay ur dicks the one lickin lips
ill chop u up so u have rips
so yall get a grip
u kno my shit
is sick
cuz ive been in this rap game longer than slick rick
ur times almost over just listen ta the clocks ticks
im ganna rip
cuz when i freestyle im sick wit it
cuz yall dont kno who u fuckin wit
im the man yall still babies suckin on ur mom tits
everytime i enter a room yall start ta shit and piss
cuz u kno someones ganna b a victim of my diss

hell yeah that was great
but nakidshrimp
ain't no pinp
just a little boy
rapin is his toy
but tewnty bucks says
in 5 years he'll be dead.

Now i Know where to go
to keep from feelin' low
I'll just have fun
reading about what you think you've done

While the rest of you keep cappin' and rappin'
About all the shit bad that just happen.

eh yo "na kids a shrimp"
you think you the man, well then I'm a be your pimp.
Thinkin you can mock me, as you walk with a limp.
try lookin in the mirror you limp dick gimp.

why you gotta come up in here and try ta control the post.
I'll heat you up like toast, and roast your every boast.
put you and your flows in a state of comatose.

13 years old, your a rookie still today.
It's obvious readin your ryhmes, and how they seem to frey.

I admire your wit, but cockiness is your fool.
so don't be suprised, when I take you back to school.

rhmology 101 son, your done.
everytime I tell a joke, I end it with you as the pun.

13 years old, I hope I didn't make you cry.
but if I did, I'll let Nsync finish you off, with bye bye bye...

'Yo', I am 'street' with the 'rap',
You all sound 'whack',
My 'dope' 'skillz' are here,
And they pushing you back!

You wanna 'step' up to me?
Who the hell you be?
I'll 'bust' out a 'nine',
And 'cap' you in the face, see?

You only kids, and I been far,
You're all try to 'dance' with the rhyming tzar.
I am 'outta here',
Wikki wikki waa!

wikki wikki waa is wiggity wiggity wack.
I bust out your nine and rat ta ta tat you in the back.

you don't know who I be, but you cap me in the face?
your rap is rated a C-, and that's given you grace.
I'll make you a disgrace, to every single race.
grab my trophy and kiss your girl as I take first place.

your tzar? I'll zip you up like a .rar
Then I'll write a rap about you, and play you like a guitar.

on the real dog you ugly,
back in the day, you what we call Fugly.
Matter fact, mother taresa wouldn't even come around and give you a hug see.

so I looked in the sky and saw a falling star;
and I'm tryna figure out, where you tryna go with your wikki wikki waa.

Wikki wikki waa, wikki wo wikki way
no-one understands the shit you say
say gotta nine,fine, you better put it away.
before i switch on you and blow you away
cos i be the predator and you be the prey.
now you better pray, & hope i go away..somewhere far
like australia so I can see the ozzy bitch reitsma
what did you say about the UK?
the uk just blows ??
you dyslexic bi, i think this is what you tried to imply
change (the) to a my, the (U) to a M & (K) to A
NOW WHAT DOES THAT SAY
MY MA just blows, cause she does your mums full-time ho
she goes down low and then up and down like a yo-yo.
for a extra 10 quid she will suck ur toes.
and you can bet, that im not finished with you yet
arnt you the ozzy that slept with his pet
koala started bleeding, so you took jeanette to the vet
one of those episodes you just cant forget.
oh no jeanettes pregnant, on comes the sweat, out pops a half koala named him brett
gotta pay child support now your in debt.
so watch what you say about the UK.
or i may come over and take jeanette away.
leave brett where he is to your dismay.
as a reminder of ur animal fuckin days.
now nakidshrimp the boy got skills,
but the bit about the nine just gives me the chills.
13 years old should be having fun in the sun
not boasting about owning a gun.
dont take none of this personally dont take it the wrong way
but i dont like guns and love the UK!

I'm afraid of the dark
especially when i'm in a park

thought i saw a ghost
its the sight i fear the most
rather have a piece of toast
or a sunday roast
not that i'm one to boast

etc

Victor Menendez, king of the benders
you not a contender, u might as well surrender.cos i render you senseless.i guess its time to confess, that you like wearing dresses.
say u like toast, ill toast you,
"my names vic im scared of ghosts" boo!
little bitch ill make a ghost out of you.
say you like roast, spit-roast more like
you, reitsma and grim cos ur all alike.
all back to vics to play with ur dicks
too much too drink,too much vodka
poor victor needs an answer
"who's dicks in my mouth" - its me reitsma
"whos got my anus" - wikki wikki waa!

stupid kids... They don't get irony,
Must rush now, I need a pee.

13 years old, but yet, a cunt,
That's far too much talk for a little runt.

"hi kids it grim",oops wanna be slim,might have made this domain but fuck knows what im doin!your rhymes sound thin,where to begin,post,host,most,thats shit rhymin!
never mind mate ur rhymes ok,but thats bein generous,the least i can say,so take the pen and paper and put it away,bring it out and show ur grand kids some day!
say ur host invented the post,so start bustin some rhymes coz ur more like a ghost,
hidin in the park, ready to fuck mandez its like kajal said "king of the benders" ,
herd he liked toast,secret word for spit roast,likes to suck dick and brown nose the host,then boast about bein abused,
what the fucks he goin on about feeling used,you love it mate,class it as a date if u dont get arse u like masterbate!cant pro-create,or ejaculte fuck people arses you dont hesitate,
bend over bitch and he'll give it to you,
an s.t.d or the latest virus thats new,aids gonneriah and clamidia to, close your arse boy coz he's coming for you!!

ive got to go now and look for a job theres fuck all else to do my birds on the blob!!

I don't own this domain, I just come here to chat.
I'm called Grim..., not Cal, you 12 year old twat.

As for wikki wikki waa, you don't have to be bionic,
Like 'nine' and 'whack', I was being ironic.

Thats it, i challenge you all to a 'battle' (i'm down wit da kids)

(not in a jonathon king kind of way)

I'll take up you challenge.

VIC IS A PRICK!


(Cue lots of people shaking their hands in the air and saying "ooooooh" and "booooooom")

grim & arsepuppy never gonna learn
im not 13 im twenty one
i was jus given props to the boy nakidshrimp
dont want him turning 14 walking with a limp
cant take a joke dont know how to battle
go and get 8 mile, not sleepless in seatle
then you might comeback with a little more style
ur verses will be more versatile,worthwhile a little hostile
i know ur being ironic, take the piss use some more wit
dont quit, commit and then submit
dont get sensitive & defensive.. be offensive
im hopin cal keeps this post open
this forum could get famous & im not jokin.

Bravo! *claps*

Learn to read, Kajal, there something to do!
I was talking to Skinra, not to you.

Alright little Kajal, step up, let's have it,
Time to learn a lesson from someone that's not Rabbit.
8 Mile was crap film, the battles were thin,
But it sucked clueless kids like you right in.
Come into London to a real rap club with me,
I'm sure someone here will fake you an I. D.,
Step into the real world an my boy, you'll see
How the battling is done by a real M. C.
You've got to flow, have some rhythm and style,
Not just copy what they did on 8 mile,
A real rapper has had life, you see?
And has more important things to do than battle with me.
Your stuff makes no sense, can't see where your coming from,
And you probably got your matches from rhymezone.com.
If you want us to think you can cut it in a battle,
Stop spelling like you should be holding a rattle.
Kid, fall back! You're just a fraud.
A little man posting poems on a Bulletin Board.

*thud*

WHOO!!
This is getting good...
sounds just like a real battle should...

shouldn't real battles have bangings from bombs or guns being shot or the clash of metal on metal and not just some words that sound silly?

and drive by posting :)

=]

yes, thats a little more like it
i think ur getting there bitch
but calling me a little man now thats a bit rich
i was with ur ex-girl last night, she could'nt get enough of my shit.
she was like "that grim, his dicks so small and thin, i have to neck a bottle of gin,
jus to sleep with him, and when he starts goin, i dont even know if its out or in"
And the strange thing, is you call her reitsma, ha ha
still livin in ur bedsit with ur ma!
said i got my matches at rhymezone
u make ur matches at gayzone
all alone, on the phone, "cum round reitsma" after the tone.

I wish I could rhyme...
but I don't have the time

and to be honest alot of that does not ryhme

That doesn't even rhyme,
And it isn't in time,
My girlfriend doesn't call me 'Grim...', d'uh,
And who the hell is this Reitsma?

(Kaj, your "grim & arsepuppy never gonna learn" wasn't bad, but it looks like my return blew you out of the water because that was shit...)

www.iamcal.com/profile_165

Sitting on the net
I give myself a bet
A posting that must rhyme
Like I think I have the time

I enjoy the rappin game
But when the language gets untame
It makes me squint and shy
And I can tell you why

My kid you see, he thinks he's slim
Buys his 'music' on a whim
Thinks its cool to swear and walk with a bounce
Watch out, your little brother is about to pounce

He thinks he's slim shady too
Wears his cap backwards to look cool
Swearing at your age is acting the fool
Will the real slim shady please stand up, please stand up..... etc

www.bayarea.com/mld/mercurynews/2003/04/...

is this rapper v rapper just coming back into fashion again cos of that awful film?

Yeah. Damn that "Fern Gully 2".

hahaha

Oi. Pay attention. Your posts must rhyme.
You are breaking the rules - a most heinous crime ($£%%$£&&^$^$^).

Beargod: is this rapper v rapper just coming back into fashion again cos of that awful film?

I am willing to get out some cash and bet
That Beargod hasn't seen 8 Mile yet.

Ah, time for a snappy 'Battle comeback' Ahem. Grim can't swim!

yeah, check out my flava ladiezzzzz!

grim - this 'reitsma' guy is i.
and i must apologise for this guy,
who hasn't gotten the idea,
of this thread.

it asks for posts that rhyme,
and although he did this fine,
these 'battling' concepts, i fear,
are in his head.

we're were all having fun,
harmless jabs at everyone,
and these kids come running in,
and steal the show.

it seems their manhod was in doubt,
so they pulled their penises out,
and the people they were insulting,
they didn't know.

so now they are getting annoying,
they miss the idea of just toying
and their posts, i believe
are quite inane

so shrimp, and dear kajal
we don't need your comments - they're so banal
and we seriously hope that you leave
as swift as you came.

so mr grim u wanna batlle me, i'll be the reeper and let everyone see,
what a little bitch you are,shit irony
i'll fuck you up and leave you in poverty
its plain to see just where your comin from
a broken home and a ho for a mum,theres nothin u can do she likes it up the bum,likes the taste of cum,
drinks it by the gallon,orgy yum! yum!
never mind mate its nearly pay day!oops you forgot to sign on,schhuuu! MAYDAY!
OOH WHAT U GONNA DO NOW WID NO MONEY IN YOUR POCKECT?,
your life aint worth livin,stick ur fingers in the socket,
and rocket of to mars,where the rest of your family lives you fuckin retards,with hill billy kids!!
but never mind mate i just like to play wid you pussies all night long ,then i'll throw u's away
throw u's away!
with u pussies all night long then i'll throw u's away,
you cant get the bitches coz u cant afford ther riches or the coke,pills ,sniff the versace's or the mitzies,
yeah thats right,i bet ur a coke head,2 yrs down the line ya dick drops dead,not that it makes a difference coz u never had head,never even been horizontil in a bitches fuckin bed!!!
so keep sniffin ya coke ,broke think ur geezers,i'll
be laughin all the way while your wankin off wid tweezers,please just get off this domain and leave us,coz what ur ryhminz from rhymezone,bunch of fuckin cheaters!
best be leavin myself now, coz im goin off on one,and u'll be stealin my rhymes an makin them muti platinum,
makin out there ur's and and fuckin sellin them,
punk ass bitches i'll break the fight out,
left,right,left and knock your mother fuckin lights out!!!

"you cant get the bitches coz u cant afford ther riches or the coke"

"yeah thats right,i bet ur a coke head"

"so keep sniffin ya coke"

Surely this is contradictory.

With genius lyrics such as that, a sponsorship from Burberry or Argos can't be too far off.

"....be laughin all the way while your wankin off wid tweezers,please just get off this domain and leave us,coz what ur ryhminz from rhymezone,bunch of fuckin cheaters!
best be leavin myself now, coz im goin off on one,and u'll be stealin my rhymes an makin them muti platinum,
makin out there ur's and and fuckin sellin them,
punk ass bitches i'll break the fight out,
left,right,left and knock your mother fuckin lights out!!!"


"Nigel! Teatime!! I hope you've tidied your room!"

"Coming, Mummy!"

Fall back little fella, you don't know shit.
Here comes a response wit' some rhythm to it!
My mothers not a ho, but speaking of whores,
Let's just get off mothers like I just got off yours.
I needed a fucker ladder 'cos the bitch was so fat.
Told me your name was Kevin - how'd you like that?
Get the bitch out of my house - give her somewhere else to stay,
Maybe with your father? No, I forgot, he's gay...

Skinra, Mumra, Lala, Tara,
I don't give a fuck who the hell you think you are.
"Get off this domain and leave us" - yeah cheers,
I've been posting on this site for three mother fucking years.
In fact, if you look, I started this thread.
Almost a year ago now, you'd think it'd be dead.
But no, it's still here, due to children like you.
And I hope Cal locks it, I really fucking do.

You think I'm on coke? Nice one little man,
The only coke you know comes from a red and white can.
Your rhymes ain't multi-platimum, they ain't even worth crap!
The fucking cheeky girls could take you on in a rap!
You can left-right all you like, I've still got my 'steel',
Put some holes in your body, how would that feel?
Quick note to Kajal, did you notice it too?
The kiddy wanted a challenge so he didn't battle you.

Oy... Vey...

Good work Grim!

reitsma stop cryin
im also jus playin
before i came u lot were nursery ryhmin
i've put down the gauntlet and now yous are tryin
now grims starting to attack, with better puns and comebacks
but u cant test kajals wrath and be around for the aftermath
and grim my last post does flow
look at it again and read it s-l-o-w
and you might comprehend the way it goes

now for arsepuppy, control c, control v, r useful keys.
helped me get thru university.
but can u read? then read the top line
what does it say post's that must rhyme
sorry, my fault thats a bit unkind
i forgot u must be stupid or partially blind
blah blah blah contra-dict-ory.
what u contracted a std. and ur dick hurts when you go for a pee
arsepuppy. dont try and be a groupie, and put in a post that rhyme like me.

grim, calling us kids, u old bat
im 21 i know i told you that
and skinra is 22, now think! you little rat
why do u think he didn't challenge me
ive got friends in here too you see
but they dont slide there dicks in after each verse
i know ur bum must be sore, i bet it really hurts

Yes I caught the STD from your mother.

Who just happened to be fellating your brother.

hahahaha

FUCKING GENIUS

You got an S.T.D,
You got H.I.V,
Picked up Hepititus B
While doing your auntie.
You rhymes are whack,
You necrophiliac.
You dig up dead women,
You could do it for a livin'.
You go to their grave
With a bucket and a spade
And dig them up,
For one last fuck.
I'll be that you get frustrated,
When those bitches have been cremated.
But fucking is a must,
So you just fuck the dust...

(You screwed up the end of your first verse so there's obviously no challenge so I can't be arsed any more. I'm going back to nursery rhymes, which at least have some structure.)

readin over these rhymes, tryna see what I missed.
let me jump in this battle, even if I get dismissed.
ain't nobody getten pissed, we just all here for fun.
I'm just tryna learn, even if I sound dumb.

do my rhymes sound off, and just not hitten the mark?
that's probably cause I'm writing this, while listening to linkin park.
I'm really not good so let me cut to the chase.
I challenge everyone to teach me, while rippin my face.

Bat, bat,
Come under my hat
And I'll give you a slice of bacon,
And when I bake,
I'll give you a cake,
If I am not mistaken.

Betty Botter bought some butter,


But, she said, the butter's bitter.


If I put it in my batter,


It will make my batter bitter.


But a bit of better butter


Is sure to make my batter better.


So she bought a bit of butter


Better than her bitter butter,


And she put it in her batter


And the batter was not bitter.


So 'twas better Betty Botter


Bought a bit of better butter.

If wishes were horses,


Beggars would ride.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


If turnips were watches,


I would wear one by my side.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


And if "ifs" and "ands,"


Were pots and pans,


There'd be no work for tinkers!

why the hell do you waste your time
on this stupid site
when it means your blood will run out
and your face will turn all white?

a rhyme a day,
keeps insanity away.
freedom of expression,
I praise God for this rhyme session.

A lesson that's learned,
repairs bridges been burned;
history repeats itself,
and the clock has been turned.

tic toc goes the clock,
writers block, will soon stop.
trust in God when there's a shock,
he's the key maker for every lock.

amen to that, brother.
:D

stop baiting the zealots

"do not feed the brethren"

think think blink blink

the rhyme is not yet chosen,
why not change it to boozig, i like to have a pint,
then go and fly my kite,
i kno how to drink,
so baby stop and think, i would not b here today if you neva blinked

ne 1 in ere

boozing*

i like a bevvy sumtimes 4 or 4 lets face it im not happy till they scrape me off the floor

na zoe they are boring farts

?

"ne 1 in ere"

this isnt a chat room you idiots. how simple are you?

A shout to I AM, expressions of today.
forgive me if I can't find, the right words I want to say.

Stressen all day, I've been lost in a muse.
Tryna turn to God for help, and not turn to booze.
Easier said than done, though I've done it before.
Every situation I'm facin, seems like another chore.

I don't wanna do it again, tired of this dejavu.
Why can't I take this stress, and give it all to you?
Run myself in the ground, Everytime I start to worry.
I should know what to do, but my mind just gets all blurry.

Thinkin I can solve it myself, do it all alone.
Wishin I could get out of the way, but my habits are too prone.
I'm a drone in bondage, a slave to life.
when will a be released, and rid of this strife?

My head seems to lift, as I hear him say
like Seasons pass, the hardtimes will go away.

These struggles are how you grow,
so when they come, don't stray.
continue to look to ahead,
and with your heart, pray

Dude, are you okay? I don't really even know what to say.
We could meet, all take a seat
Talk about what's up, while holdin a coffee cup
It's late, so not tonight- in the morning I'd be a fright!
So get it on your schedule real soon, maybe tomorrow at noon?
'Till then, keep up your chin, God will give you peace to make you grin.

(PS: you know it can't be tomorrow for lunch, even though we both love to munch
maybe in the evening? Just give me a ring)

work is slow,
just like my flow
but something better then nothing
we're just gonna sing a little song
to pass the time along
untill the end of the day
when we all hit the hay

Tonight I saw a real pimp, He walked with a genuine limp.
He had the biggest bling bling, That I ever have seen.
He had a "P" on his shoe, That was my first clue.
He was with Ho 1 and Ho 2, I bet he has quite a few!!
I don't know why they were eating fast food,
musta just been in da mood.
They cruised out in their benz on dubs,
Pro'lly goin' to work it in da clubs.
Gettin' ready for a night of monies, wit his 2 hunnies.


PS Then I saw a chollo, with a playboy bunny in his window,
and his plate said "crazyMoFo";
I think he was gonna hook it up, With the pimp 'n his 2 pups.

type your reply here, I snear, knowin that I instill fear.
Everyone's a peer, so I hear, so watch what you say.
Don't go the world's way, or in the end, you'll have to pay.
Today, was good, I thought, I could, but I can't, God willing I'll plant;
workin hard like an ant, but my heads to dense....
that's why I'm spitten out these rhymes that don't make sense.
randomness, learn to play chess, with your lyricalness,
if you want to be the best; test, every last breath,
and be careful of every scene.
Watch how I distract you with my pawn,
and checkmate your king.

Don't forget this one.

This thread's title uses the apostrophe badly
Can't think of a good way to make this rhyme, sadly.

but ap it rhymed
what shame do you feel?
come on, get now with it
it won't cost a deal

friday, your rhyme
it started so well,
but then my dear you lost it
now go burn in hell

(i don't mean it, it just rhymed nicely)